A Slight DM crisis...

[Chokuto]

'ello everyone, I have a problem and would like some unbiased, outside objective opinions, which I'm sure I could acquire from such experienced gamers that frequent these boards.

Okay... I've been DM-ing for about 5 years, and am really well versed with the deeper mechanics and what-not of v3.5. The majority of my weekly group consist of the same players that I started with, albeit a few exceptions. A friend of my brother-in-law's expressed interest in DnD and I decided to kinda "take him under my wing" so to speak. I was nervous about letting him join in my group because I felt he might be a bit overwhelmed sitting at a table of 5 gamers with years of experince while he still might have to ask what the difference between an attack roll and damage roll was. (hey, no laughing, its the most common "new-player" question I get.) But after a week of idle take about dnd whatnot and some mechanics explanations, he seemed to grap on quickly and was still extremely exicted by the prospect of playing. So, somewhat nervously as he wasn't really personal friends with anyone other than me, decided to let him in on a campaign...

...and it was a huge success!!! He roleplayed like a champ, was funny, and generally liked by everyone. In fact he was probably one of the top three players at the table. Simply adding him to the group kinda revamped everyone into looking forward to the next game session. And there is no better reward as a DM...(except maybe cookies...)

Then, after about five sessions, he dropped outta of the group. I've had this happen to multiple people for multiple reasons, sometimes people just get tired of DnD, but I found out a week later he was looking for a new group to play with. I asked him what happened, thinking maybe he disliked another player or something, but he simply replied.. "It just wasn't fun anymore..."

No other words are so sure to shatter a DM's confidence.

I asked him if he could be a little more specific, stating that DM-ing is a contast learning process and that I need to know what players like and are expecting in order to make the game more enjoyable, but he said he couldn't really pin-point it, and that it was nothing against me, but that it just wasn't fun.

Maybe this part is paranoia, but now it seems as if ALL my players are at least slightly dissatisfied but don't want to tell me. this is a shock since i tend to focus more on the fun aspect of DnD than be a rules guru. Any helpful critiques?

[BRC]

The gaming forum would proably be better for this than the Homebrew forum.

Also, Describe your DM'ing style besides "Focusing more on the fun side of things".

One thing you could do is do a series of adventures that differ from your usual style, if you usually do combat laden dungeon crawls, throw in some political intruige. If you usually do Mystery/investigation stuff, let your PC's beat down on some monsters. After each session, ask your players how they felt about it, if they liked it, then use that to guide your DMing.

Also, work player backstories into games, that's usually pretty fun.

[Xuincherguixe]

I've reached the conclusion that you can't work on anything that you don't actually know about. Don't feel bad if they aren't telling you things. How can you know what this elusive "fun" thing is? It's different for everyone.

Still, my general opinion is to involve the players heavily in the story. Have your characters make up some back story if they don't have it already, then integrate it into the game. And, of course, figure out what sort of stuff each of them likes. Then integrate that into the game if it's reasonable. (It wouldn't make sense for Chuck Norris to be the Dragon's Bodyguard. Dragon's dragon (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDragon)?)

[Faithdreamer]

No-fun-syndrome might be this player's tact. Are they saying they weren't having any fun because there was a problem more 'behind your back' they didn't want to discuss with you?

It might be an effort to maintain group harmony and leave so everyone is still dignified. :smallconfused:

I know your heart is heavier after wondering about that. You must consider it wisely and try not to be silly. It might have nothing to do with your GMing.

Explanation
If it does concern your GMing then maybe they didn't want to make you feel bad if they pointed it out. The so-called 'maturity level' could be away from their standards, either too gory or too kind (maturity is definitely the wrong word). Perhaps the player didn't like the group they were playing with for trivial reasons they didn't want to bring up.

They might feel the group had bad manners, they were breathing in a way they thought was annoying or someone smelled bad. Maybe it was a fuel concern for them and transportation was an issue and they didn't want to impose their worries on you.

Harmless and limitless - the reasons that player might have felt. That's why you should try not to worry. Trust in the belief that there was no funny business you wouldn't know about.

If it really does concern your gaming style see what your entire table thinks before you make everyone on the forums search for a grain of sand that looks like all the other grains of sand on the planet.

[Tadanori Oyama]

I have players spring this sort of revelation on me occationally. When they do I change the adventure around a little (because none of them will ever say why it isn't fun for them) and see if they like it better.

With my change to 4E I've asked my players to do journal entries in the week between each session talking about what they did and did not like. Of the ten players between my two groups, three regularly write the journals. I feel no guilt at all if they don't like the game when they don't give me feedback.

If he won't tell you specifics than he either doesn't want you to know or he's not going to be able to help you improve. Let him find a new group and then see if he comes crawling back. He might find out his new group is the exact same.