Team Ready, Aim, Fire! XXI - Waterloo [game over]

[Lord Herman]

This is Team RAF, the team-based variant of RAF. You can find RAF Classic, the original, free-for-all version of the game, here.

Hello, and welcome to the twentieth game of the team-based spin-off of Silkenfist's Ready, Aim, Fire!

The theme of this game will be Waterloo, Napoleon Bonaparte's last battle. The teams are the French Empire and the Seventh Coalition, an alliance of the British, the Prussians, and the Dutch.

Recruitment is open until Wednesday, 18:00 GMT. If you want to join a specific team, please specify which one. If you don't specify a team, I will add you to a random team.

The Rules:
The basics of the game are explained in this comic (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Instructions.png).

Other rules:
- If you don't submit an action before the deadline, you time out. A time out is counted as an airshot. If you time out twice in a row, you die.
- You can send multiple actions in advance, but only do this when it's really necessary.
- The sign-up period is four days, and each round generally takes three days. When there are only a few players left, rounds take only two days, and I start writing as soon as I have all the actions.
The Auto-Notify List:
Almighty Salmon
Balford
dallas-dakota
DarkCorax
Destro Yersul
Dr. Bath
Draken
Fin
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
Freshmeat
Frigs
gamerkid
huyneo
Inigo Montoya
Kasz
Mad Wizard
Moon Called
Mustiado
Ominous
PirateMonk
radikalskippy
Raeden
Raiser B1ade
Reinholdt
Shadow
St.Sinner
Stu42
The Bushranger
Thes Hunter
Uncle Festy
Vampiric

If you want to be added to the list, just post here and ask. Remember, you'll still have to register for the game - people on the list just get a PM to notify them that registration has started.

To keep the list from getting cluttered with inactive players, I will remove your name from the list if you don't sign up for the game.
For a list of trophies and their winners, go here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html).

[Mordokai]

In, as part of Seventh Coalition.

Also, Herman, can you take me off the auto-notify list? I think I can up to these games myself. I appreciate your effort, but I think I can save you some PMs that would be sent.

[Destro_Yersul]

7th Coalition. Sign me up as Bill & Ted.

It had to be done. :smallbiggrin:

[Copacetic]

7th Coalition. Please and Thank you.

[Uncle Festy]

I think I'll join the French Empire.

[Indurain]

I will stomp my new foe...the one they call Thes!!

[Vampiric]

7th Coalition, as Rufus :smalltongue: :smallwink:

*:smalltongue: at Destro*

[Calamity]

Well, Vampy's on the coalition. Therefore, so am I.

In.

[Studoku]

In, on the coalition's team.

[Raiser Blade]

In on Haruki's side.

[Uncle Festy]

*sniff* Nobody likes the french…
I mean, I'm not actually french, nor do I have any affiliation with them other then having signed up for that team, but…
<.<
>.>
French is awesome.

[Bayar]

In Coalition as the dog who blew up the frenchman cannon.

[banjo1985]

In as an English Tourist that got press ganged into joining the French Navy. :smallbiggrin:

[Dallas-Dakota]

In, 7th coalition. As a mad dutch genius. And he rides upon a llama if the llama is in to.

[Dr. Bath]

In on the French Empire. As a very lost and oblivious British General who has found himself Napoleon's second-in-command.

Why're you lollygagging about you blithering fools! Fire the cannons at those French degenerates! What's all this babbling, we speak the King's English in the army! you've been at the drink I see! Forty lashes!

[Mustiado]

In on the opposite side of Freshmeat. With a ridiculously large hat.

[huyneo]

I shall be a Bird! Any Bird!
Random team

[Skippy]

I'm in again, in team opposite to Zar Peter please.

[Mr. Moon]

I'm in. Same team as Bushranger, please.

[Shadow]

In on the french team

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

English dogs! Come face the French cannons!

In, as a time travelling absent minded scientist and his eight-year-old sidekick. Off on educational adventures in history.

On the french team, because all absent minded scientists help the English.

[Andraste]

I'm in as a French Ninja who throws croissants at people.

[Inigo Montoya]

Random team; as the guy who has really, really nice teeth. There's always one of those in the movies....

[St.Sinner]

Count me in. Either team is okay.

[Zar Peter]

I'm in on the losing team and against Skippy.

And to stay historicaly correct I should play for the French :smallbiggrin:

[V.Z.]

Definitely in! Again, on random team:
If French: As Napoleon Bonaparte's hat
If Coalition: As the Duke of Wellington's boots

[Dallas-Dakota]

I'm in as a French Ninja who throws croissants at people.
There are no french ninjas. They do not exist. Bla bla bla bla I can't hear you!

:smalltongue:

[hap_hazard]

In on any team.

[Thes Hunter]

I will be in as a sultry French field nurse.

[Thanatos 51-50]

I'm in as a Brit (poorly) disguised as a French infantrymen.
He has a cockney accent.

On 7th Coalition team.

[androgial]

in on the french team as the musket that never got fired

[Shadow]

There are no french ninjas. They do not exist. Bla bla bla bla I can't hear you!

:smalltongue:

Really?
http://www.ratemyeverything.net/image/8239/0/Ninjas.ashx

Cuz this guy definitely looks french to me.... :smallwink:

[Fin]

In, same team as Fullbladder.

[Fredricus]

I'm in on the Dutch team! ...Wait, Vampiric would be on the same side.

I'm in on the French side. Foreign soldier with a ridiculous accent(it ain't even remotely french)

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

Eeek, my friend and my nemesis are on the same team. This won't do at all.

[Fin]

a time travelling absent minded scientist and his eight-year-old sidekick.

I'll be the eight year old side kick, Tintin!

[Dallas-Dakota]

Eeek, my friend and my nemesis are on the same team. This won't do at all.
My nationality demands I be on this team. Sorry.

[DraPrime]

My nationality demands I be on this team. Sorry.

Come on, join the French. You know you want to.

[Dallas-Dakota]

*shoots the french guy*
I'm dutch and proud of it!

[DraPrime]

*shoots the french guy*
I'm dutch and proud of it!

Anyway, I think I'm going to be on the French side. Why? Because I'm Polish, and this makes sense even though they didn't fight at Waterloo.

[Tormsskull]

I haven't had a chance to be in one of these games but I hear good things. Sign me up for whatever side needs an extra person.

[Dallas-Dakota]

With Herman narrating, you know it's going to be good.

And Herman? No pressure at all to write the awesome scenes you usually do:smallwink:

[Raeden]

In as ABBA, providing the battle with some background music. Preferably on the side of the coalition, 'cause they had Dutchies.

[Hexed]

In, on the 7th coalition side. Patriotically correct, and Wellington is way cooler than Napoleon anyway.

[V.Z.]

Ok, scrap my last part. I'm going to join the French as Le Duc de Darling (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkYvslIktkw). While Stephen Fry's Wellington is awesome too, with every Dutch player joining the Coalition I thought it would be much more fun to be totally unpatriotic and be the only Dutch player to fight for the French. :smallamused:

[Dr. Bath]

In, on the 7th coalition side. Patriotically correct, and Wellington is way cooler than Napoleon anyway.

Really?

REALLY?

http://katebeaton.com/Site/Welcome_files/napoleonagain-filtered.jpg

[Andraste]

There are no french ninjas. They do not exist. Bla bla bla bla I can't hear you!

:smalltongue:

Oh? :smallamused:
http://www.podcastingnews.com/content/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/french-ninjas.jpg

[PirateMonk]

In as usual. Random team.

[Kasz]

In, random team as a seagull

[Zar Peter]

There are no french ninjas. They do not exist. Bla bla bla bla I can't hear you!

:smalltongue:

And another one:

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e321/chancetan85/concept02_e.jpg

:smallbiggrin:

[Dallas-Dakota]

Oh? :smallamused:
http://www.podcastingnews.com/content/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/french-ninjas.jpg
Those are obviously tourist ninja's! That's the only reason they would take that picture and show themselves!

And another one:

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e321/chancetan85/concept02_e.jpg

:smallbiggrin:
But the french ate him!

[Fleeing Coward]

In on the French side as a talking supply wagon.

[Lord Herman]

Recruitment is now closed. The introduction will be up shortly. Or possibly longly.

[TFT]

In.... as

Edit : :smallfrown:

[Lord Herman]

"I say," says Earl Frigs, "this is really getting rather tiresome." "Indeed," says Baron Mordokai, "we told him to stay on Elba, and what does he do? He escapes! Now we have to capture him all over again!" "No manners at all." "Quite so. The French are quite uncivilized. What say you, your grace?" The Duke of Wellington looks up from his map, and bleats. "Haw haw haw!" laughs Frigs, "you are quite right, your grace." "Have you thought of a plan yet, your grace?" asks Mordokai. The duke bleats. "If I may," says Prince Hexed of the Netherlands, "we could attack their left flank in force." "What would that accomplish?" asks Mordokai. "That way, we could capture his supply carts, which, as I recently discovered, contain Napoleon's entire collection of Egyptian antiquities. We could sell them at great profit." The duke bleats again. "His grace is correct," says Frigs, "what on Earth are you talking about? We are here to defeat Napoleon, not to get filthy rich!" "Really?" says the prince. "I thought the whole point of war was getting filthy rich. What did you think all those Anglo-Dutch wars were about?"

Meanwhile, Napoleon Bonaparte is standing on a stepladder, overlooking his map of the fields around Waterloo. "Bath," he says, "where is my 3rd cavalry?" General Bath, 3rd viscount of Pottery-upon-Spork, says, "Uhm... where did you last see them?" "Austerlitz, I think. But they are not there." "Well, I think they'll turn up sooner or later. Anyway, how are we going to defeat the French?" "We are the French, Bath." "Are we? Who are we fighting, then?" "The English! And the Dutch, and the Prussians if they ever turn up." "Oh. Uhm, anyway, how are we going to defeat... uhm... those people we're fighting. Are you sure we're not English?" "Yes, Bath." "Really?" "Yes, really. Remember what we had for dinner last night?" "Green stuff with slimy bits?" "Frog and snail." "Eww!" "That means we're French. Here, use this bag."

[Lord Herman]

Players
French Empire (19/19)
androgial - The musket that never got fired
Balford - French ninja who throws croissants at people
banjo1985 - English tourist press ganged into French navy
Dr. Bath - Very lost and oblivious British General who has found himself Napoleon's second-in-command
dragonprime
Fin - Fullbladder's eight year old sidekick, Tintin
Fleeing Coward - Talking supply wagon
Fredricus - Foreign soldier with ridiculous accent
hap hazard
Inigo Montoya - The guy who has really, really nice teeth
Kasz - Seagull
Lord Fullbladder - Time traveling absent minded scientist on educational adventures in history
Mustiado - Wears a ridiculously large hat
Shadow
St.Sinner
Thes Hunter - Sultry French field nurse
Uncle Festy
V.Z. - Le Duc de Darling
Zar Peter - Napoleon Bonaparte

Seventh Coalition (19/19)
Atreyu - The Duke of Wellington
bayar - The dog who blew up the Frenchman's cannon
Calamity
dallas-dakota - Mad Dutch genius riding a llama
Destro Yersul - Bill & Ted
Frigs - Earl Frigs
Hexed - Prince Hexed of the Netherlands
huyneo - Any bird
Indurain
Moon Called
Mordokai - Baron Mordokai
PirateMonk
Raeden - ABBA
Raiser B1ade
Stu42
thanatos5150 - Brit poorly disguised as French infantryman; has Cockney accent
Tormsskull
Vampiric - Rufus
radikalskippy

Please submit your action before Sunday, 12:00 GMT.

[Hexed]

Hum. Prince Hexed of the Netherlands. If I remember my history correctly, that means I get my horse shot from under me in the first round and break some bones, something Wellington was actually quite happy with.

All in all, I hope I do better than that.

[Mustiado]

no Freshmeat...??

[Thes Hunter]

Oooh la la are you injured? Let me take goooood care of you?

Oh, your not injured, let me take care of you anyways. :smallwink:

[Lord Herman]

Alright, time's up. I'm not sure when the story will be up, seeing as I'm rather busy at the moment. School, D&D, and the final season of Buffy all try to nom my time.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Waaaaaaait. Herman is still in school.



....
...
...
*totally didn't know that and is suprised as **** by that*

[Lord Herman]

Well, school as in university. I'm in my 2nd year of Celtic Studies.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Well, school as in university. I'm in my 2nd year of Celtic Studies.
Aaah ok, that's cool, Celtic studies, even cooler.

[The Bushranger]

...
crap. I can't believe I missed signing up!
:smallfrown:

[Dallas-Dakota]

that's why you need to be on the auto-notify list even if you sign up most of the times even before the PM's are send out.

[DraPrime]

Since I'm leaving these forums feel free to give me a glorious end after my action has whatever affects it normally would. Or just a regular end would be fine.

[Dr. Bath]

Where are those French hiding, wot! Buncha lilly livered cowards if you ask me! With their red coats and Shropshire accents. Pah!

...*cough*

[Zar Peter]

Mounsieur Le Bath, you are searching in the wrong direction... again! The enemy is in your back!

[Dr. Bath]

MY BACK?! BALLY HELL GET IT OFF! GET THE FRENCH OFF ME!

*stops*

*drops*

*rolls*

I'm on fire I'm on fire! French fire! Aaauuugh!

[Lord Herman]

Both armies are assembled, and the artillery has started firing, making an awful ruckus. While the infantry advances, the Duke of Wellington overlooks the battlefield. He bleats to his aide-de-camp, Raiser B1ade. "I shall fetch him immediately, your grace," he says. Moments later, the aide returns with dallas-dakota, the mad Dutch genius. "You called for me?" asks dallas-dakota. The Duke bleats. "Certainly, your grace. I think surprise will be the key to winning this battle. Let me demonstrate." The mad Dutchman suddenly jumps on the Duke's back, and shouts, "Chaaaaaaarge!" The Duke does as he's told, and the pair smash into the French ranks, with the Duke's aide running after them. "Maintenant! La fosse avec du fromage!" shouts captain dragonprime. His troops suddenly pull back, and one of them pulls a lever. A trap door opens beneath the Duke, his rider, and his aide, and the three fall into a large pit filled with French cheese. The Duke tries to climb out, but Shadow, a French musketeer, stabs him with his bayonet. The musketeer tries to stab the others as well, but a dog jumps on his face and bites him until he stops moving. Dallas-dakota tries to make an escape from the terrible cheese pit, but he doesn't get far. A croissant is thrown from the shadows, hitting him in the back. Mortally wounded, the Dutch genius slumps to the ground. The croissant-throwing ninja tries to sneak away, but a cannonball takes his head off. "Merde!" shouts Napoleon, seeing the cannon rip through his infantry. He gets on his horse, rides over to the other side of the battlefield, and shoots radikalskippy, the British cannoneer.

There's suddenly a bright flash in the middle of the battlefield, and an absent-minded scientist and his sidekick appear. "Oh, look, Tintin! It's the battle of Waterloo! We're about to see Napoleon being defeated by..." Suddenly, the scientist falls over dead, with a large bullet wound in his chest. As Tintin looks in horror at his dead teacher, Moon Called says, "What? He was boring me." "You'll pay for this!" says Tintin. He picks up a rifle. "Uhm... I wouldn't fire that, if I were you." "Nice try," says Tintin, and he fires at Moon Called. "It's just that you're holding it backwards. But I see you've already noticed that, with you bleeding to death and all."

General Bath has wandered into the fray. "Excuse me," he says, tapping a British soldier on the shoulder, "whose side are you on?" "What?" asks Stu42. "Are you on our side?" "Depends. Which side are you on?" "I'm with the little man with the big hat. I thought we were British, but apparently we're French." "Oh, I'm afraid we're not on the same side, then." "Oh. Well, I guess I'll have to go and lop off your head, then." "Guess so," says Stu42, and General Bath lops off his head. Meanwhile, the British cavalry has charged in, and a dragoon by the name of PirateMonk stabs General Bath before he has a chance to ask if he's French.

"Oi! You!" Mustiado turns around, and sees another French infantryman coming his way. At least, he looks French. He wears a striped pullover and a beret, and he carries a baguette under his arm. He wears a very large fake moustache. "Bonjour," says Mustiado. "Say wha'?" "I said hello. In French. Because I'm French." "Oh, righ'. Me, I'm French too, 'cause of this bread 'ere. Where's Napoleon?" "Our glorious emperor?" "Yeah, 'im." "I think he's in his glorious command tent, discussing his glorious plans for our glorious victory over the glorious... uh, I mean vile Brits." "Is tha' righ'? So we're vile now, are we?" "No, the British are vile. We, the French, are glorious." "Oh, righ', sorry, I forgo'. I'm French, and so are you." "Oui." "Wha'?" "Yes." "Anyway, so the boss is in 'is tent, righ'? Any guards there?" "Oui." "Stop talkin' like tha'. People'll think you're French or somethin'." "But I..." "Hey, Thanatos!" says a british soldier, who is part of the unit that's charging into the French lines. "Shu' up, Tormsskull! I'm undercover!" "Sorry, mate, didn't notice the fake moustache. See the game last night?" "Soddin' Frenchies." "Uhm... I'm standing right here, ami." "Shu' up, frog." "I am not ze frog! I eat ze frogs for breakfast!" Mustiado picks up his musket, and skewers thanatos5150 on his bayonet. "Oi! That's me mate yer skewerin' there!" Tormsskull tries to shoot Mustiado, but a seagull poops in his eye, and he misses. "Soddin' bird!" The bird turns around, lands on Tormsskull's face, and proceeds to peck his eyes out.

"Pay attention," says Inigo Montoya, "there they come!" The French lieutenant with the really nice teeth is lying in ambush with a few of his men. While St.Sinner and Uncle Festy keep their muskets aimed at the approaching Brits, Fredricus asks, "Why åre wii wæting hære?" "What?" The foreign soldier points his battle axe at the Brits. "Åre wii åttæking thæm?" "Uhm... sure, sure." "FØR ØDIN!" screams Fredricus, and he runs at the brits, waving his axe about. "Merde," says lieutenant Montoya. He goes after the norseman while firing his musket at the enemy. While Earl Frigs and Rufus are slaughtered, St.Sinner says, "Can we come out yet?" "Des ceeeeerveaaaaaauuuuux..." moans Uncle Festy, shrugging.

"Forward, men!" shouts Prince Hexed. "Capture this hill, and today's bloodshed will not have been in vain!" "What's on it?" asks Calamity. "Don't ask us," says Benny Andersson, "we just do the background music." "Is it the French cannon? Or maybe Napoleon himself?" "Neither," says the prince. "What is it, then?" "The French pay chest." "Huh?" "By my estimation, to pay his entire army, Napoleon must have at least... oh... 50,000 tulip bulbs worth of gold in that chest." "Is that a lot?" "It was yesterday. I'm afraid tulip prices have fallen slightly this morning. We can now buy one wheel of cheese for that many tulip bulbs." "So there are five pounds in the chest?" "Francs." "Huh?" "The French pay with Francs. Don't ask me why. Anyway, it'll probably be 500,000 guilders worth of Francs." "How much is that in cheese?" "Depends on the exchange rate between..." Suddenly there is a science-fictiony noise, and a phone booth falls from the sky, crushing Calamity, and exploding with a dodgy special effect.

The prince gets up, and dusts off his coat. "Ahem. Men, rally to me! There's still a pay chest to capture!" Followed by Indurain, Baron Mordokai, and a bird, the prince advances up the hill. When he gets to the chest, he discovers it is being guarded by a bunch of Frenchmen. "Stop!" says le Duc de Darling, "in the name of the emperor!" "Look, I know we've got this whole war thing going on, but wouldn't it be more convenient for everyone if you'd just let us pass?" "Never!" "Well, come on. What are you going to do? I'm sorry to say, but those uniforms of you hardly look intimidating. You look like a bunch of whoopsies." "We are whoopsies." "Oh. Well, why don't you just let us take the chest, and we give you, say... 20 percent? And then we can all retire. Except me, because I still have to be king when my father kicks the bucket." "I will never betray my emperor!" says le Duc de Darling. Looking around shiftily, he says, "60 percent." "Or we could just kill the lot of you," says the prince, sticking his sabre into the Duc's chest. Hap hazard tries to avenge Darling by looking really shocked, but the prince simply pulls out his sabre and lops off hap hazard's head. "Excuse me," says one of the French soldiers in a suspiciously English accent. "When are we going to see the Eiffel tower?" "Hasn't been built yet," says Baron Mordokai, stabbing banjo1985. Indurain fires his musket at the French, but his aim is a bit off, and he hits a bird instead. As he reloads his musket, a busty French field nurse looks at the naked soldier. "Oh la la," she says, "you should be careful. You could catch a could, walking around naked like that." "Uhm..." "Here, let me give you a flu shot." The nurse opens her first aid kit, and takes out an enormous syringe. "Bend over," she says, "this won't hurt a bit."

[Lord Herman]

Actions
{table]French Empire|Actions
androgial|Air
Balford|dallas-dakota
banjo1985|Mordokai
Dr. Bath|Stu42
dragonprime|Self
Fin|Self
Fleeing Coward|Timeout
Fredricus|Vampiric
hap hazard|Hexed
Inigo Montoya|Timeout
Kasz|Self
Lord Fullbladder|Air
Mustiado|thanatos5150
Shadow|Atreyu
St.Sinner|Air
Thes Hunter|Indurain
Uncle Festy|Air
V.Z.|Hexed
Zar Peter|radikalskippy
Seventh Coalition|Actions
Atreyu|dragonprime
bayar|Shadow
Calamity|Self
dallas-dakota|dragonprime
Destro Yersul|Self
Frigs|Inigo Montoya
Hexed|Self
huyneo|Self
Indurain|Air
Moon Called|Lord Fullbladder
Mordokai|Self
PirateMonk|Dr. Bath
radikalskippy|Balford
Raeden|Air
Raiser B1ade|dragonprime
Stu42|Timeout
thanatos5150|Kasz
Tormsskull|Kasz
Vampiric|Air[/table]
Players
French Empire (10/19)
androgial - The musket that never got fired
Balford - French ninja who throws croissants at people
banjo1985 - English tourist press ganged into French navy
Dr. Bath - Very lost and oblivious British General who has found himself Napoleon's second-in-command
dragonprime - Infantry captain
Fin - Fullbladder's eight year old sidekick, Tintin
Fleeing Coward - Talking supply wagon
Fredricus - Foreign soldier with ridiculous accent
hap hazard
Inigo Montoya - The guy who has really, really nice teeth
Kasz - Seagull
Lord Fullbladder - Time traveling absent minded scientist on educational adventures in history
Mustiado - Wears a ridiculously large hat
Shadow - Musketeer
St.Sinner
Thes Hunter - Sultry French field nurse
Uncle Festy - French zombie
V.Z. - Le Duc de Darling
Zar Peter - Napoleon Bonaparte

Seventh Coalition (7/19)
Atreyu - The Duke of Wellington
bayar - The dog who blew up the Frenchman's cannon
Calamity
dallas-dakota - Mad Dutch genius riding a llama
Destro Yersul - Bill & Ted
Frigs - Earl Frigs
Hexed - Prince Hexed of the Netherlands
huyneo - Any bird
Indurain
Moon Called
Mordokai - Baron Mordokai
PirateMonk - Dragoon
radikalskippy - Cannoneer
Raeden - ABBA
Raiser B1ade - The Duke's aide-de-camp
Stu42
thanatos5150 - Brit poorly disguised as French infantryman; has Cockney accent
Tormsskull
Vampiric - Rufus

Please submit your actions before Wednesday, 12:00 GMT.

[Fredricus]

Got ya Vampiric!

[DraPrime]

I may have sort of left the playground, but that was damn cool so I think I'll stick around for this one game :smallcool:

[Dallas-Dakota]

Awesome death scene.

And ironic that I've had croissant for breakfast today...

[Thanatos 51-50]

Heh. I'm a fan of my Death scene. 'Tis aweomesauce with a side of lawlsauce.

[Uncle Festy]

I may have sort of left the playground, but that was damn cool so I think I'll stick around for this one game :smallcool:

*gasp* You're still here for something!
So I repeat my request from the "Goodbye" thread:
Would you come back if and when I brought back the Silliad? Please?

[Vampiric]

Got ya Vampiric!

Aw heck.

And I thought shooting myself would be the death of me ><

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Carse ye, Moon Called!

[Calamity]

Well, that round could only have gone more badly for me if Atreyu had survived.

Brilliantly written as usual, Herman.

[DraPrime]

*gasp* You're still here for something!
So I repeat my request from the "Goodbye" thread:
Would you come back if and when I brought back the Silliad? Please?

I will...consider it.

[Uncle Festy]

I will...consider it.

Yay! :smallbiggrin:
If you don't come back, will you still read it?

[Thes Hunter]

I got indy! I got indy!


*bounces around*


Wonderfully written demise for his nakedness.:smallbiggrin:

[DraPrime]

Yay! :smallbiggrin:
If you don't come back, will you still read it?

Hell yeah I'll read it.

[Indurain]

Ow my ass!

[Lord Herman]

I may have sort of left the playground, but that was damn cool so I think I'll stick around for this one game :smallcool:

Yay, I made dragonprime stay a bit longer! :smallbiggrin:

[Mr. Moon]

Carse ye, Moon Called!

Both of you in one go? I'm impressed with myself. :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

Aaaaaand... time's up! The story will be up shortly. Or not.

[The Bushranger]

Oh. LH. Please put me on the auto-notify list?

[Lord Herman]

Napoleon has joined one of his infantry regiments which is marching on the British headquarters. Disguised as shrubs, they sneak past the enemy army, and surround the command tent. "I say," says Baron Mordokai, "what are all these shrubs doing around our tent? I thought the men were supposed to clear the area." "Very odd indeed," says Earl Frigs. Suddenly, a viking comes walking out of the shrubs. "Æxcuse mii," he says, "cøuld I håve a cup of tii?" "Soldier! Come back here at once!" shouts Napoleon. "But I åm thørstii!" "I say, old chap, I think there's someone hiding in those bushes!" says Earl Frigs. "By jove, there is! Hello there! You can come out now, whoever you are! We've seen you!" "Merde!" says Napoleon, and his regiment steps out of the bushes. "Good lord!" says Mordokai, "There's quite a few of them!" "So there is! Do you suppose they all want tea?" "I shall ask. Excuse me, good sirs. Would any of you like a cup of tea?" "Non!" says Napoleon, "I demand your surrender! You are completely surrounded!" "Why, really!" says Earl Frigs. "The French have no manners at all!" "Quite so," says Mordokai. "I suppose we should make this our last stand, then. Maybe they'll make a statue of us, like they did for old Horatio." "Mordokai, old chap, I don't want to rush you, but I think the French are attacking!" "Well then," says Mordokai, drawing his pistol, "let's have at them!" "Whåt's gøing øn?" says Fredricus, but Mordokai shoots the viking through the head. "Quick, give me a weapon!" says Napoleon. He is handed a musket, but as he inspects it, he discovers a spot of rust. "Incompetent fool! This musket is rusty!" he shouts, breaking the musket on his knee. "I will do this the old-fashioned way, then." Napoleon draws his sabre, and slices Baron Mordokai in twain. Meanwhile, Earl Frigs has found a small cannon. He aims it at the Emperor of France, and fires. When the smoke clears, there is a small crater where Napoleon stood. "He killed our glorious emperor! Kill him!" shouts dragonprime. He's about to attack Earl Frigs, when a dog jumps on him and licks him to death. Completely demoralised, the rest of the regiment flees.

"Why do we have to carry all these heavy sacks of gold?" asks Agnetha Fältskog. "We're here to provide the background music, not to carry some prince's loot around!" says Björn Ulvaeus. "Don't worry," says Prince Hexed, "look there, a supply wagon! We can capture it, and load all the money into the wagon!" "There aren't any horses," says Moon Called. "How are you planning to steal a wagon without horses?" "You're right," says the prince, "we need horses." "Can't we use his horse?" asks Moon Called, pointing at PirateMonk. "Don't be silly," says the dragoon, "this is a thoroughbred warhorse. You can't expect this horse to pull a wagon!" "Okay," says the prince, "we'll put all the loot in the wagon, and let ABBA pull it." The band groans. "Forward! To victory, and more money!"

Prince Hexed and his soldiers are just about to make off with the wagon, as they are attacked by a French zombie. "Des ceeeeeerveaaaaauuuuuux," it moans. It grabs PirateMonk's leg, and pulls him off his horse. With a glass of fine white wine, Uncle Festy eats the dragoon's brain. Meanwhile, Moon Called has decided to do some looting of herself. She has snuck into the French field hospital, and she's looking for valuable medicines. "Naughty, naughty!" says Thes Hunter. "Crap!" says Moon Called, dropping several thousand tulips' worth of medicine. "You are a bad girl," says the nurse, "and bad girls must be spanked!" "Look," says Moon Called, "I'd love to stay, but I don't have time for 'Nurses Gone Wild', if you know what I mean." "Oh, non! You must stay and be spanked!" "Get away from me!" Moon Called tries to run away, but the nurse has a much better leg-to-skirt ratio. The thief is dragged kicking and screaming into the tent, where she dies a horrible (and rather naughty) spankity death.

"Wait, what was the plan again?" asks St.Sinner. Mustiado sighs, and says, "how many timed do I have to tell you? I will dress up as a British soldier, and I'll pretend you're my prisoner. We walk into the enemy camp, and kill their generals before they suspect anything." "Oh, okay." "I'll go and change into these British rags." "Sure." While Mustiado changes, St.Sinner falls asleep. When she wakes up, a British soldier is standing over her. "Aaaah! The British are attacking!" St.Sinner grabs her musket, and sticks her bayonet into Mustiado's chest. She gets up, and looks around. "Huh, where's Mustiado gone? Wasn't there some plan we were working on?"

[Lord Herman]

Actions
{table]French Empire|Actions
androgial|Self
dragonprime|bayar
Fleeing Coward|Timeout
Fredricus|Air
Kasz|Timeout
Mustiado|Self
St.Sinner|Air
Thes Hunter|Self
Uncle Festy|PirateMonk
Zar Peter|Mordokai
Seventh Coalition|Actions
bayar|Self
Frigs|Zar Peter
Hexed|Fleeing Coward
Moon Called|Thes Hunter
Mordokai|Fredricus
PirateMonk|Timeout
Raeden|Air[/table]
Players
French Empire (4/19)
androgial - The musket that never got fired
Balford - French ninja who throws croissants at people
banjo1985 - English tourist press ganged into French navy
Dr. Bath - Very lost and oblivious British General who has found himself Napoleon's second-in-command
dragonprime - Infantry captain
Fin - Fullbladder's eight year old sidekick, Tintin
Fleeing Coward - Talking supply wagon
Fredricus - Foreign soldier with ridiculous accent
hap hazard
Inigo Montoya - The guy who has really, really nice teeth
Kasz - Seagull
Lord Fullbladder - Time traveling absent minded scientist on educational adventures in history
Mustiado - Wears a ridiculously large hat
Shadow - Musketeer
St.Sinner
Thes Hunter - Sultry French field nurse
Uncle Festy - French zombie
V.Z. - Le Duc de Darling
Zar Peter - Napoleon Bonaparte

Seventh Coalition (4/19)
Atreyu - The Duke of Wellington
bayar - The dog who blew up the Frenchman's cannon
Calamity
dallas-dakota - Mad Dutch genius riding a llama
Destro Yersul - Bill & Ted
Frigs - Earl Frigs
Hexed - Prince Hexed of the Netherlands
huyneo - Any bird
Indurain
Moon Called
Mordokai - Baron Mordokai
PirateMonk - Dragoon
radikalskippy - Cannoneer
Raeden - ABBA
Raiser B1ade - The Duke's aide-de-camp
Stu42
thanatos5150 - Brit poorly disguised as French infantryman; has Cockney accent
Tormsskull
Vampiric - Rufus

Please submit your actions before Friday, 12:00 GMT.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Goooo Hexed!

[DraPrime]

*sigh*

Well that's the end of that.

[Mordokai]

Oooooh Peter...

I have a bullet with your name on it for next round.

[Zar Peter]

Oooooh Peter...

I have a bullet with your name on it for next round.

If that is so... than I have a bullet with my name on it for next round, too :smallwink:

But you killed my buddy, I had to do that.

[Mordokai]

Actually, he killed himself, you should be shooting him :smalltongue:

[Zar Peter]

Actually, he killed himself, you should be shooting him :smalltongue:

He did??????

Can I redo my action, Herman? I made a mistake, I wanted to shoot myself...

:smallbiggrin:

[Mordokai]

And they say astronomers are supposed to be smart... :smallannoyed:

[Zar Peter]

And they say astronomers are supposed to be smart... :smallannoyed:

You really believed you increase your Intelligent score by watching the sky? :smalltongue:

[Mordokai]

If I wanted to be mean I'd point out that it certainly doesn't help increasing Charisma score.

But I'm not, so I won't :smalltongue:

[Uncle Festy]

*sigh*

Well that's the end of that.

Awww. :smallfrown:
Bye, DP!

[Mustiado]

Again I overestimate my own popularity.

[Copacetic]

Nice narration, Lord Herman.


Heh. I turned Napolean into a crater.

[Lord Herman]

St.Sinner and Thes Hunter are guarding a road when they see a supply wagon approaching. It is drawn by a Swedish pop band. "Halt!" says St.Sinner, "where are you going?" "Uhm..." says the man on the wagon, who looks strikingly similar to Prince Hexed of the Netherlands, but can't be him because the prince doesn't normally wear a fake moustache, "we're, uhm... we're taking a supply of mouldy bread to the Coalition." "Why?" "We will send a clear message that those who defy France will have to deal with severe stomach cramps, and possibly also diarrhea!" "Very well, you may pass. Vive la France!" "Yes," says the man formerly known as Prince Hexed, "you too."

"Come here, boy," says Earl Frigs, waving a bone in front of bayar's face. "Let's teach those French dogs a lesson! No offence." The dog wags his tail, and follows the earl. Frigs sneaks into the French camp, followed by bayar, who barks loudly at anything vaguely Frenchman-shaped. Finally, the earl spots a French soldier lying on the ground. "Have at you!" he shouts, stabbing the soldier with his sabre. "Wait, he's already dead." Suddenly, the dead Frenchman stands up. "Des ceeeeeerveeeeeeauuux," he moans, and the French zombie eats Earl Frigs' brain. Meanwhile, the dog is following a French seagull. Barking loudly, bayar runs after the bird, forgetting everything else around him - including the steep cliff in front of him. With a yelp, the dog falls to his death.

[Lord Herman]

Actions
{table]French Empire|Actions
Kasz|Self
St.Sinner|Air
Thes Hunter|Air
Uncle Festy|Self
Seventh Coalition|Actions
bayar|Kasz
Frigs|Uncle Festy
Hexed|Air
Raeden|Timeout[/table]
Players
French Empire (4/19)
androgial - The musket that never got fired
Balford - French ninja who throws croissants at people
banjo1985 - English tourist press ganged into French navy
Dr. Bath - Very lost and oblivious British General who has found himself Napoleon's second-in-command
dragonprime - Infantry captain
Fin - Fullbladder's eight year old sidekick, Tintin
Fleeing Coward - Talking supply wagon
Fredricus - Foreign soldier with ridiculous accent
hap hazard
Inigo Montoya - The guy who has really, really nice teeth
Kasz - Seagull
Lord Fullbladder - Time traveling absent minded scientist on educational adventures in history
Mustiado - Wears a ridiculously large hat
Shadow - Musketeer
St.Sinner
Thes Hunter - Sultry French field nurse
Uncle Festy - French zombie
V.Z. - Le Duc de Darling
Zar Peter - Napoleon Bonaparte

Seventh Coalition (2/19)
Atreyu - The Duke of Wellington
bayar - The dog who blew up the Frenchman's cannon
Calamity
dallas-dakota - Mad Dutch genius riding a llama
Destro Yersul - Bill & Ted
Frigs - Earl Frigs
Hexed - Prince Hexed of the Netherlands
huyneo - Any bird
Indurain
Moon Called
Mordokai - Baron Mordokai
PirateMonk - Dragoon
radikalskippy - Cannoneer
Raeden - ABBA
Raiser B1ade - The Duke's aide-de-camp
Stu42
thanatos5150 - Brit poorly disguised as French infantryman; has Cockney accent
Tormsskull
Vampiric - Rufus

Please submit your actions before Wednesday, 12:00 GMT.

[Bayar]

DAMN you seagull ! I will have my revenge !

[Hexed]

That was not a very good turn for the coalition side, to say the least.

[Lord Herman]

I won't be able to write the story today, I'm afraid. I'll be at the hospital for surgery today. Nothing serious, but it does mean the story will be late. Again. I will have interwebs on my room, so I'll probably post from there to let you guys know how it went.

[St.Sinner]

Good luck with the surgery, Herman.

[Dallas-Dakota]

We wish you good luck on the surgery Herman.:smallwink:

[Zar Peter]

I hope our surgery and recovery is fast!

[androgial]

<.<
>.>

[insert obligatory castaras stab here]


<.<
>.>


good luck herman

[Lord Herman]

Hi all!

I just got out of surgery, and I'm posting from my hospital room. Still a bit groggy, but the surgery went fine.

[Mordokai]

*thumbs up*

Go get 'em Herman!

[Bayar]

Soo...that darn apendicite...better get rid of it.

Anyway, happy recovery ! (god, romanian expressions sound like crap in english)

[banjo1985]

Booya! Glad you're back in the land of the living Herman!

[Lord Herman]

"Hold on," says St.Sinner, "I know who that was!" "Who?" asks Thes Hunter. "ABBA! ABBA was pulling that wagon!" "Really?" "Quick, let's go after them!" "You think they're working with the enemy?" "No, I want to get their autographs. Come on, lets go!"

As the French soldier and the nurse chase the wagon up a hill, Prince Hexed cracks his whip. "Faster! Faster!" "We're going as fast as we can!" says Björn. "Then go faster than you can, you lazy musicians!" "Right, I've had enough of this! We quit!" The band stops running. Unfortunately, the wagon doesn't stop moving, and ABBA is flattened. "Uh-oh," says the prince, as the wagon stops, and then starts moving backwards down the hill. St.Sinner and Thes Hunter just barely dodge the speeding wagon.

"Uhm, alright," says the prince. "Let's see. How does one steer this thing?" The prince gets into the back of the wagon, and moves all the money to one side. The wagon starts turning slightly to the left. "Yes! Alright, now to steer it away from any..." suddenly, a seagull flies into the wagon, and attacks Prince Hexed. As the prince tries to get the bird off him, the wagon heads straight for the French camp.

After finishing a fine British brain, Uncle Festy shambles around the camp, looking for more brains. Suddenly, there is a loud noise like a wagon full of money heading straight for the zombie. As the zombie looks up, he sees a wagon full of money heading straight for him. The wagon splatters zombie bits all over the place, and goes straight on into the gunpowder storage tent. The seagull can escape just in time before the tent explodes in a giant fireball.

Thes Hunter and St.Sinner wander about the battlefield, looking for trophies. "Mon dieu!" says St.Sinner, "look what I found!" The soldier puts on the hat she just found, and shows it to Thes Hunter. "Mon empereur!" "No, I'm not really... hmm... hold on... do I really look like him?" "Mais oui, mon empereur! You certainly look like yourself!"

And thus Emperor 'Napoleon' won the battle of Waterloo. He then decided to conquer the island of St. Helen. Unfortunately, he forgot to bring any troops, and was captured by the British, who claimed that was their plan all along. The results of the autopsy, which revealed that Napoleon was not only taller than previously thought, but also that he was, in fact, a woman, remain a closely guarded secret.

[Lord Herman]

Actions
{table]French Empire|Actions
Kasz|Hexed
St.Sinner|Air
Thes Hunter|Air
Uncle Festy|Hexed
Seventh Coalition|Actions
Hexed|Uncle Festy
Raeden|Self[/table]


The Seventh Coalition is no more! The French have won! Congratulations!


The Medals
Victory
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GameGoldBig.png|Kasz, St.Sinner, Thes Hunter
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GameSilverBig.png|androgial, dragonprime, Fleeing Coward, Fredricus, Mustiado, Uncle Festy, Zar Peter
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GameBronzeBig.png|Everyone else on the French Empire
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GameLeadBig.png|Everyone on the Seventh Coalition[/table]

Homicidal Maniac
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/RedGoldBig.png|Zar Peter|32 kills
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/RedSilverBig.png|Kasz|23 kills
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/RedBronzeBig.png|radikalskippy|22 kills
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/RedLeadBig.png|Fleeing Coward|21 points[/table]

Survivor
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GreenGoldBig.png|Fleeing Coward|35 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GreenSilverBig.png|Kasz|23 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GreenBronzeBig.png|pingcode20|22 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GreenLeadBig.png|Destro Yersul|14 deaths[/table]

Duelist
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/NavyGoldBig.png|Fleeing Coward|18 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/NavySilverBig.png|Fredricus|11 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/NavyBronzeBig.png|Lord Fullbladder|9 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/NavyLeadBig.png|Almighty Salmon|18 rounds[/table]

Bestest Friends
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/OrangeGoldBig.png|Fleeing Coward and Fredricus|15 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/OrangeSilverBig.png|Calamity and Vampiric|4 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/OrangeBronzeBig.png|banjo1985 and Zar Peter|3 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/OrangeLeadBig.png|Lord Fullbladder and Fin|18 deaths[/table]

Records
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GameCrossBig.png|Winning Streak|Vampiric|6 games
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/WhiteCrossBig.png|Sole Survivor|Raiser B1ade|6 rounds
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/RubyCrossBig.png|Most Effective Suicide|evnafets|3 kills
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/GreyCrossBig.png|Longest Chain of Kills|banjo1985|10 kills
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/CoalCrossBig.png|Losing Streak|Zar Peter|9 games
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/BrownCrossBig.png|Lynch Mob|Moon Called|3 people[/table]

Overall
{table]http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/WinGold.png|Fleeing Coward
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/WinSilver.png|HyramGraff
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/WinBronze.png|Fredricus
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Prizes/WinLead.png|Zar Peter[/table]

[Zar Peter]

What the...? The french won? But... I was on their side! That can't be!!!

Congratulations!

[Indurain]

Haha...I'm coming for your title ZP. I'll be the biggest loser!!!

[V.Z.]

Oh bravo, mes amis! *clapclapclap* Sweet liqueur and souflé for everyone! Vive la France!

[Zar Peter]

Haha...I'm coming for your title ZP. I'll be the biggest loser!!!

NNNNNoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Uncle Festy]

Woohoo! We won!
… not that it matters so much, but I knew I shoulda shot myself.

[banjo1985]

Oh dear...well at least the French won!

...I can't believe it's ended with me saying that :smalleek:

[Mordokai]

Yeah, but I still got a point or two of your back, so all is ok :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

Here's the list of suggested themes from the last contest:
Civil War
Lord of the Rings (Helm's Deep)
Geeks vs Jocks
Conquistadores
Vikings vs Irish Monks
The Matrix
Kung Fu (vs Yakuza?)
Alien invasion
Harry Potter

Feel free to suggest your own!

[Bayar]

How about Gnomes VS Kobolds ?

Edit: Nah, no one would want to play a gnome. They suck....except for those whisper gnomes.

[Mordokai]

Vikings vs Irish Monks

Ooooooh, I like this one! :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

Maybe that one should be expanded to Irish vs. Vikings in general, to give the Irish players a bit more choice in their role.

[Thanatos 51-50]

Penguins vs. Frogs

Because its completely non-sensical.

[Zar Peter]

How about Gnomes VS Kobolds ?

Edit: Nah, no one would want to play a gnome. They suck....except for those whisper gnomes.

Playing a Gnome bard in 3.5... I feel insulted!
(but you're right)

I'm going for Helms deep, I know the setting and I know one more player who would like to play this, I assume.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Lord of the Rings (Helm's Deep)
Vikings vs Irish Monks

These are seconded by me.

[V.Z.]

Penguins vs. Frogs

Because its completely non-sensical.
That one! :smallbiggrin: Sounds so non-sensical it has to be awesome! Also, penguins. I rest my case.

Lord of the Rings also has my vote. I mean, how long has the suggestion been floating around now? Perhaps the Battle of Sekigahara (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Sekigahara) or Jedi vs. Sith? I know they're another "Battle of ..." and a Star Wars theme respectively, but still. They'd work. :smallbiggrin:

[Dallas-Dakota]

That one! :smallbiggrin: Sounds so non-sensical it has to be awesome! Also, penguins. I rest my case.

Lord of the Rings also has my vote. I mean, how long has the suggestion been floating around now? Perhaps the Battle of Sekigahara (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Sekigahara) or Jedi vs. Sith? I know they're another "Battle of ..." and a Star Wars theme respectively, but still. They'd work. :smallbiggrin:
Ever since I´ve been playing?

[Lord Herman]

Well, I don't think I'll be recycling themes for a while. Star Wars has been done, as well as a Samurai theme.

I think the next one will be about Irish vs. Vikings. I'll go and post the new thread.