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View Full Version : The most ridiculous thing you have tried to get past the DM



quick_comment
2008-11-04, 01:45 AM
Whats the most absurd thing you have ever tried?

I once had a monk with exceptional deflection (can deflect things other than arrows, such as ray spells) as well as catch anything (can catch arrows rather than deflect them.) I attempted to catch a disintegrate spell and use it as an improvised weapon.

monty
2008-11-04, 01:46 AM
I played a druid.

Reinboom
2008-11-04, 01:47 AM
I played a druid.

I actually managed to get planar shepherd on top of druid. With the dream plane. For 2 sessions.

Emperor Tippy
2008-11-04, 01:59 AM
Does DM complicity count?

If so, Pun-Pun (he knew what I was doing and was Ok with it).

If not, Poke'ball Cindy.

Now for tried, well there was the argument about wall of force. I tried to claim that since the spell says that it's immobile that was true for all frames of reference. I wanted a tunnel through that mountain. KEW weapons are also up there on the list.

monty
2008-11-04, 02:10 AM
Now for tried, well there was the argument about wall of force. I tried to claim that since the spell says that it's immobile that was true for all frames of reference. I wanted a tunnel through that mountain. KEW weapons are also up there on the list.

This sounds like an interesting argument. Granted, I'm no expert on relativity, but how exactly can something be immobile from all frames of reference?

Kris Strife
2008-11-04, 02:15 AM
This sounds like an interesting argument. Granted, I'm no expert on relativity, but how exactly can something be immobile from all frames of reference?

It stays in place while the universe moves around it.

monty
2008-11-04, 02:17 AM
It stays in place while the universe moves around it.

How do you know which way the universe is moving, though? Can the universe move?

quick_comment
2008-11-04, 02:17 AM
This sounds like an interesting argument. Granted, I'm no expert on relativity, but how exactly can something be immobile from all frames of reference?

It cant. If I were the GM, I would make it immobile with respect to the weave, which happens to immobile with respect to the earth.

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-04, 02:18 AM
How do you know which way the universe is moving, though? Can the universe move?You cast WoF and see where it ends up.

Ravens_cry
2008-11-04, 02:19 AM
It stays in place while the universe moves around it.

But then it wouldn't be still from the frame of reference that sees it moving, instead of the Universe. Such as the audience watching the ship move in Futurama.
Hence, an impossibility to have something be still from all frames of reference.

Ascension
2008-11-04, 02:19 AM
The best combo I ever cooked up was STR and double INT to melee damage plus full sneak attack in a potential gestalt character... but then the DM ruled that we couldn't add any stat to anything twice and I ended up dropping my attempt to get into the game entirely.

It's not even serious cheese by gestalt standards...

Lazy Zomb
2008-11-04, 02:22 AM
Giving the pet bear a fullplate + 1 we found because magic armor "sizes to fit". Apparently, the armor doesn't size THAT well...

Yeah, we don't bother trying to get the ridiculous things, cause they never work...

OH! I did get a stone golem defeated by casting stone shape on it. Not sure how ridiculous that is though.

Kris Strife
2008-11-04, 02:26 AM
But then it wouldn't be still from the frame of reference that sees it moving, instead of the Universe. Such as the audience watching the ship move in Futurama.
Hence, an impossibility to have something be still from all frames of reference.

theres more than one plane/universe in D&D though

monty
2008-11-04, 02:29 AM
theres more than one plane/universe in D&D though

So wouldn't that make it...harder for all frames of reference to coincide?

Kris Strife
2008-11-04, 02:37 AM
So wouldn't that make it...harder for all frames of reference to coincide?

depends on your DM

monty
2008-11-04, 02:43 AM
I tried drowning myself to heal. It didn't work. I died.

Ravens_cry
2008-11-04, 02:53 AM
theres more than one plane/universe in D&D though
That just adds to the problem.

Coidzor
2008-11-04, 03:17 AM
Had my character claim to be from Ankh-Morpork.

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-04, 03:25 AM
My DM is running a ToH campaign next week. I'm making a Warlock with a Cleric of Cthulhu cohort. In related news, does anyone know a cool/easy way to get tentacles?

goram.browncoat
2008-11-04, 03:27 AM
- continuous true strike weapon with use-activated faith healing (at DMG table cost, which was something like 11k or so)

*swish hit* heal 9
*swish hit* heal 9
*swish hit* heal 9
...

that was pretty stupid (and not rules legal). got away with it for quite a few sessions too.

- at will minor heal at DMG table cost. Be topped up for every fight for 1k gold.

Ah, good times. Broken times, but good :)


My DM is running a ToH campaign next week. I'm making a Warlock with a Cleric of Cthulhu cohort. In related news, does anyone know a cool/easy way to get tentacles?

warlocks have an evrards black tentacles-esque invocation. or do you mean tentacles on your body? Im sure grafting is an option. Theres also spells (evrards menacing tentacles, crawling darkness, polymorph and all its little friends) or psionic spells (form of doom).

Kris Strife
2008-11-04, 03:32 AM
Had my character claim to be from Ankh-Morpork.

DMed a session that started there. party got arrested by Deitrius and Carrot for fighting in the Mended Drum.

Lyndworm
2008-11-04, 03:52 AM
In related news, does anyone know a cool/easy way to get tentacles?

Two easy ways off the top of my head...

Half-Farspawn (Template) [LoM, p150]
Adds two tentacles, becomes Outsider (Native).

Deepspawn (Abberation Feat) [LoM, p178]
Adds two tentacles, +2 grapple, requires Abberrant Blood and one other Abberation feat.

Zack

monty
2008-11-04, 04:25 AM
Also, Half-Illithid from...Fiend Folio? (my laptop crashed, so I lost all my pdfs) gives four tentacles, if I remember right.

jcsw
2008-11-04, 04:33 AM
Voidmind Template in MM3.

Irreverent Fool
2008-11-04, 08:03 AM
Also, Half-Illithid from...Fiend Folio? (my laptop crashed, so I lost all my pdfs) gives four tentacles, if I remember right.

There's a spell in the SpC that grants you tentacles for a limited amount of time.
obnoxious
sig

valadil
2008-11-04, 08:21 AM
My GMs are lucky my shenanigans are usually bizarre and strange rather than powerful. Usually. One time in a WoD game we convinced the GM that hacking US Govt computers to fire nukes would be a single computers + int roll. We made it, blew up 90% of the world, and lived out our days in New Zealand.

Xallace
2008-11-04, 08:36 AM
But then it wouldn't be still from the frame of reference that sees it moving, instead of the Universe. Such as the audience watching the ship move in Futurama.
Hence, an impossibility to have something be still from all frames of reference.

But in this case you aren't seeing the object moving, you're realizing the world/universe/multiverse moving in relation to the object. That's how it would work in a good number of these examples, I think, but unless you were looking in from outside the universe, it would be the Wall of Force that appears to be moving. Since we, in the universe, do not visually recognize the universe as being in motion.

And if it were truly immobile, and I think this is what the guy who posted it was going for, the Wall of Force would appear to take off at around 18 1/2 miles a second, at least. You'd just have to hope you were on the right side of the Earth's rotation when you cast the spell.

Anyway, I never tried to get too much past my DMs. I think the worst offender would be when I killed a cockatrice with cold damage, put a blindfold on the frozen body, and stuffed it in my bag of holding. Next time I whipped it out, I had a hard time convincing him to let me use it as a Petrification Gun.

Curmudgeon
2008-11-04, 08:48 AM
(This was before Tome of Magic, so there were no rules for ceremonial offerings and manipulating souls.) I (playing an Assassin) seduced a fellow party member and (in the guise of sexual shenanigans) tied her up, and then used a Wish ring to offer up her soul to my deity as a sacrifice. The DM was impressed enough with my ingenuity to grant me a +5 divine bonus to my Wisdom as the deity's reward -- except it came as +1 for each Cleric level I took thereafter, so I kinda got forced into multiclassing.

BRC
2008-11-04, 08:52 AM
We built a tank, but I've told that story plenty of times.

Oslecamo
2008-11-04, 08:55 AM
Bear bomb.

1-Be druid at least lv8.

2-Get some way of flying.

3-While on the air shapeshift into a druid and let yourself fall over your oponents using the rules for damage from falling objects. It turns out that bears are REALLy heavy.

4-?

5-Profit.

Well, it looked really good on paper, but the druid never managed to actually hit anyone(aparently the enemies always managed to roll out of the way in the last moment), and the druid still took damage from falling.

Hmm, we should have suspected of the DM's maniacal grin.

We also tried to use summon nature's ally to drop whales on top of our enemies, but the DM simply said no nature respecting druid would use his allies as living bombs.

Ashtar
2008-11-04, 09:33 AM
Well I managed to play as a Nimblewright which dominated hand to hand combat (in 3rd ed) and I was also allowed to play an illusionist masquerading as a demi-goddess (in 2nd ed) using flashy names for spells: "Planar shield" when I was simply using illusions and shadow conjurations. The DM played along and the other players were convinced for close to the whole campaign that I was cheating horribly and being favored.

For a one-shot, I used a Arcane Archer in 3.0 with stacking arrow and bow bonus that worked quite impressively. I still miss those 3.0 stacking bonuses.

I asked to play a dwarven wizard/fighter/eldrich knight with a dwarven waraxe but that wasn't allowed, especially when I started talking about taking practised spellcaster to make up for the lost levels is spellcasting.

Yes, we usually do play a low powered, unoptimized game.

Curmudgeon
2008-11-04, 09:48 AM
We also tried to use summon nature's ally to drop whales on top of our enemies, but the DM simply said no nature respecting druid would use his allies as living bombs. Plus you would be making a drowning attack against the foes anyway in order to try to make this possible:
Creatures cannot be summoned into an environment that cannot support them. Do you have any idea how tough it is to create enough water in the air to support a whale for a full 6 seconds (the casting time of SNA)? Huge drowning attack, making the whale kinda incidental, since falling objects always provide a DC 15 Reflex save to avoid. Luckily, under D&D rules liquids aren't objects.

Blackfang108
2008-11-04, 09:53 AM
I'm working on an Awakened Dire Wolf/3 Sorcerer/9 Rogue.

The sorceror Levels are for Utility spells, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, and Unseen Servant being the important ones, Along with Mage Armor.

rayne_dragon
2008-11-04, 10:05 AM
I was playing a cleric of Tyche, Goddess of Luck, and I tried to convince my DM to let me spend a turning attempt to change the probability of particular treasures being found since we needed a bag of holding quite badly. Oddly enough there was one in the next room anyways.

We were also playing modified 1st edition and I suscessful convinced him to let me roll a d20 for physical stats instead of the usual 3d6. I wound up with 20 STR and 18 END.

Flabbicus
2008-11-04, 10:20 AM
The most ridculous thing in the campaign I'm in currently isn't the cheesed out warlock or artificer, it's what we did with 300 feet of Silk Rope.

We fired a grappling hook into an enemy airship while ours was sinking and started leeching off of its buoyancy in order to slow our eventual crash into the island floating over the sea of nothingness. Did I mention the thing was made of flesh? And that the shot was critted so we jammed their engine rendering them helpless as we drifted to our demise?

I love first level.

theMycon
2008-11-04, 10:35 AM
Do you have any idea how tough it is to create enough water in the air to support a whale for a full 6 seconds.
Absolutely none, because whales are air-breathing mammals?

Curmudgeon
2008-11-04, 10:40 AM
Absolutely none, because whales are air-breathing mammals? ... who die when beached. Just because they can breathe air doesn't mean that it will support their enormous weight. You should check a dictionary (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/support):
1. to bear or hold up (a load, mass, structure, part, etc.); serve as a foundation for.
Creatures cannot be summoned into an environment that cannot support them.

OverdrivePrime
2008-11-04, 10:48 AM
In a D&D 3rd edition game, I got my DM to insist that I use the Monte Cook version of the Bard instead of the PHB version. Ah, that was some good and silly stuff.


Hmm... in a rifts game, the GM actually transformed my Cyberknight into a Cosmoknight in order to be more on par with the other characters. Ugh. That was a disgustingly high powered game.

littlechicory
2008-11-04, 10:50 AM
I started a signal fire to call the party back to me after an avalanche by deliberately misfiring a Wand of Cure Light.

Eorran
2008-11-04, 10:57 AM
... who die when beached. Just because they can breathe air doesn't mean that it will support their enormous weight. You should check a dictionary:
Quote:
Originally Posted by support
1. to bear or hold up (a load, mass, structure, part, etc.); serve as a foundation for.

Quote:
Creatures cannot be summoned into an environment that cannot support them.


Which is why owlbears need to be dumped in favor of eagle-whales.
41 ton power-diving monstrosity FTW!

potatocubed
2008-11-04, 11:27 AM
Which is why owlbears need to be dumped in favor of eagle-whales.
41 ton power-diving monstrosity FTW!

...:smallsmile:

*homebrews*

BRC
2008-11-04, 11:29 AM
One of my players (An urban ranger) convinced me to let Entangle work indoors. I let him make a CL check to get it to work, which he succeeded on. And then my hobgoblin Duskblades and Kobold sorcerors were entangled by the carpeting...

Guinea Anubis
2008-11-04, 12:39 PM
... who die when beached. Just because they can breathe air doesn't mean that it will support their enormous weight.


Beached whales do die from there own weight , because they are on the ground. If you wanted you could argue that since being in the air does not make the whale support its own weight that it would not die from being in the air there for it could be summoned.

Guinea Anubis
2008-11-04, 12:50 PM
I was playing a Pixe cleric of Loki. After burning down 2 towns to the ground and convincing the rest of the party I was a living god and to worship him the Pixe started to think he really was a god and the son of Loki. At the next town the gate guards bad mouthed us and I say " I hold up my hand and try to burn them and the town with devine fire". The DM to his credit did say "No, your not really a god you just think you are". But I came up with "Yes but Loki has a messed up sense of humor and my find it funny to burn the town down". Long story short he gave me a 1% chance and I rolled it burning the twon to the ground.

DigoDragon
2008-11-04, 01:24 PM
My problem is that the only other GM in my group encourages weird stuff like this. He tried to get me to play a purple colored dragon with deity ranks. I declined the offer for obvious reasons.

monty
2008-11-04, 01:40 PM
Beached whales do die from there own weight , because they are on the ground. If you wanted you could argue that since being in the air does not make the whale support its own weight that it would not die from being in the air there for it could be summoned.

It's not the fall that kills you...

Ascension
2008-11-04, 02:18 PM
Bear bomb.

I've seen this attempted as well. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=4969100&postcount=82)

Ya Ta Hey!
2008-11-04, 02:42 PM
One of my players (An urban ranger) convinced me to let Entangle work indoors. I let him make a CL check to get it to work, which he succeeded on. And then my hobgoblin Duskblades and Kobold sorcerors were entangled by the carpeting...

Just another reason why shag is the worst flooring. I'm such a sucker for problem solving like that, its hard saying 'no' to a good idea.


I'm playing a low-wealth campaign right now, and being new to D&D, I mistook the spell fabricate as observing conservation of mass rather than observing the singular usage of "finished product" in the spell description--as in: cast one spell, get one thing.

I spent two hours going through the weapon charts for the highest price/weight ratio in hopes of starting a mass production line to shame Henry Ford before realizing :smallannoyed:

Its too bad, because sawing down a yew tree and then paying a 10th level caster might have gotten me 300 composite longbows and given a few days, 1500 GP. Not bad, given our best haul yet has been 240.

OverdrivePrime
2008-11-04, 03:21 PM
One of my worst moments as an inexperienced DM resulted from one of the players fast-talking me into believing that Contingency could not only be cast on an object, but cast multiple times on an object. I protested, saying that I was only willing to allow him to place a number of contingencies on a dagger based on how successful he was on a spellcraft check.

Well, eventually, the halfling rogue managed to get into a duel with a major NPC from the game and finally managed to hit her in combat. The resulting explosion of five 2nd and 3rd level spells going off was spectacular, and enough to weaken the NPC to the point that the rogue could finish her off. ... And she was such a cool assassin. :smallsigh:

Quirinus_Obsidian
2008-11-04, 03:34 PM
Tried to apply the Flying Creature template to a Fleshraker Animal companion. Would work 'by the raw'...

Ivius
2008-11-04, 03:39 PM
I was once able to get a horse up a spiral staircase with Handle Animal. Don't even ask why I had to.

theMycon
2008-11-04, 03:43 PM
... who die when beached. Just because they can breathe air doesn't mean that it will support their enormous weight. You should check a dictionary (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/support):

So, the only creature you can summon into mid-air is an Air Elemental, and then only when you're close to sea-level?

SoD
2008-11-04, 03:56 PM
Once convinced the DM that powerful build meant 'treat your character as one size larger for everything advantageous. Yes, including carrying limits. And reach.' Admitedly, I actually thought it did work like that at the time...

Callos_DeTerran
2008-11-04, 05:20 PM
Congratulations all of you in reinforcing my belief my players are nothing but sneaky conniving villains who I shouldn't trust to so much as safeguard a bowl of pudding without trying to get me rule that said pudding is like...made up of shrunken solars or anti-ossium.:smalltongue:

They'll thank you later when I deny them gold, fame, and half the basic classes out of rampant paranoia.

Yukitsu
2008-11-04, 05:27 PM
I have too many ranks in rules lawyer to do this, so I mention things I can do via the rules that I really shouldn't, at which point rule 0 always seems to come into play. Like the unlimited time stops within which I gain infinite levels via crafting by level 12, or something of that sort.

AKA_Bait
2008-11-04, 05:45 PM
I have too many ranks in rules lawyer to do this, so I mention things I can do via the rules that I really shouldn't, at which point rule 0 always seems to come into play. Like the unlimited time stops within which I gain infinite levels via crafting by level 12, or something of that sort.

The what now? Can you explain that one? I don't think I've seen it before.

Flickerdart
2008-11-04, 05:49 PM
I have too many ranks in rules lawyer to do this, so I mention things I can do via the rules that I really shouldn't, at which point rule 0 always seems to come into play. Like the unlimited time stops within which I gain infinite levels via crafting by level 12, or something of that sort.
The closest trick I know is using Reincarnation by RAW to gain infinite feats, stat gains and spells of your level after a while.

Brauron
2008-11-04, 05:58 PM
Not mine, but a good friend's story:

He used Brew Potion to create potions of Prestidigitation, and then sold them (for about four times what it cost him to make them) to the king's head chef, to make food "Magically Delicious."

Sstoopidtallkid
2008-11-04, 06:30 PM
One of my groups plays mostly fun one-offs and never gets too serious. We needed to get treatment for a badly burned PC(cyberpunks-style setting). We decided, rather than spend the money, we would break into a hospital and have the medic use their supplies. But hospitals are staffed 24/7, and the wing we needed was probably within sight of a bunch of NPCs. So we needed a distraction. Fire Alarm would be over too fast, fire could destroy what we needed. Someone decided to introduce a bear. It would be distracting and very hard to remove until the cops showed up. How to make sure it didn't leave, and get it far enough inside to make it tough to dislodge? Bear Catapult. Then we could use the Catapult for our own infiltration. I think the GM started crying at that point. When we started planning out how we were going to steal a bear from the zoo, he just gave up.

ashmanonar
2008-11-04, 06:59 PM
Bear bomb.

1-Be druid at least lv8.

2-Get some way of flying.

3-While on the air shapeshift into a druid and let yourself fall over your oponents using the rules for damage from falling objects. It turns out that bears are REALLy heavy.

4-?

5-Profit.

Well, it looked really good on paper, but the druid never managed to actually hit anyone(aparently the enemies always managed to roll out of the way in the last moment), and the druid still took damage from falling.

Hmm, we should have suspected of the DM's maniacal grin.

We also tried to use summon nature's ally to drop whales on top of our enemies, but the DM simply said no nature respecting druid would use his allies as living bombs.

THE RAWRBOMB!

This one is fun to pull in WoW. Druid flying form + Druid Dire Bear form = death from above!

Yukitsu
2008-11-04, 08:44 PM
The what now? Can you explain that one? I don't think I've seen it before.

OK, from memory, you get your generic everyday caster, and teach him how to reduce the cost of metamagic by a bunch via lowered to -1 adjustment metamagic. Technically, this means you can cast high level spells as low level spells, but some group of official types ruled that you can only use negative adjustment to pay for additional metamagic that you know of, so the slot required remains the same. The alternative is just use divine metamagic. If you then take sanctom spell feat, you can increase the spell level by one. Combine that with heighten from the negative adjustment metamagic for free, you can cast a 10th level spell for about a 5th level slot, depending on if you can use flaws for feats or not.

Now you take the feats required for a persisted spell, and extended spell. Lastly take the feat that lets you gain an extra spell slot of one spell level lower than the highest you can cast (not highest that you have an appropriate level slot for). You can cast 10th level spells, so now you gain a slot for a 9th level spell. Lower the adjustment for persist down to free, and persist the time stop. Customer service ruled that it doesn't count because time stop doesn't have a set duration, but they aren't official and frankly that isn't implicated in the rules anywhere. So you now have 24 hours to build magic items, rest, and laugh maniacally. You build a single part of a strand of prayer beads. Doesn't matter which one. If you do the math, all individual parts have a negative cost. This means you make them before you start, you earn money and exp from making them, and since you are stuck in a time stop, you can continue to make money and EXP for as long as you need.

I think that's how it went. It's been a while, and required the same thinking that a cleric getting ninths by 5 does, which I lifted off of character op.

Edan
2008-11-04, 08:46 PM
My friend and I tried to run past a homebrew marshal type based slightly on Wheel of Time. The DM didn't pay much attention and when we got into the game my friend announced that he could "requisition" roughly 2 billion gold from his CO's (I think it was from an extra planar army or something). Then we went on to turn that large amount of gold into Instant Fortresses and used them as ranged weapons (something like 100d6 every round when we launched them at enemies.)

Needless to say, that campaign ended after 2 sessions and we rerolled into reasonable classes.

Flickerdart
2008-11-04, 08:52 PM
-snip-
I do not believe you can reduce anything below 0 cost. And you really aren't allowed to Permanency duration-less spells, nut just by CustServ, but by RAW.

But this isn't rules lawyery thread, it's what your DM let you get away with. Despite all the holes in that plan, if your DM let you get away with that, it is an entertaining story.

Yukitsu
2008-11-04, 08:57 PM
I do not believe you can reduce anything below 0 cost. And you really aren't allowed to Permanency duration-less spells, nut just by CustServ, but by RAW.

But this isn't rules lawyery thread, it's what your DM let you get away with. Despite all the holes in that plan, if your DM let you get away with that, it is an entertaining story.

Should have been persistance, not permancency. And some abilities that reduce metamagic cost say they cannot go below 0, while others do not. As such, it was argued that they do go below 0. I mentioned it to the DM because I could have done it, but I also didn't do it, because that would be a jerk move.

littlechicory
2008-11-04, 09:10 PM
Summon Instrument - Pipe Organ!

Enlong
2008-11-04, 09:20 PM
Summon Instrument - Pipe Organ!
Ah, but you have to be able to carry it...
Sousaphone!

Collin152
2008-11-04, 09:29 PM
Ah, but you have to be able to carry it...
Sousaphone!

Just change your definition of carry, silly!

Da King
2008-11-04, 09:36 PM
I tried to build a nuke, and would have succeeded if it the DM hadn't decided to roll the campaign time line back 3 months. Oh well, I successfully got a Druid armed with a flamethrower and the ability to create a fully functional Trebuchet in under an hour, captured a town and named it Fresca after a drink on the table, and lost track of the number of buildings I destroyed for fun.

The campaign actually had to end because of how crazy it was getting,which was mostly my fault.

SurlySeraph
2008-11-04, 09:38 PM
Ah, but you have to be able to carry it...

And this is why every group needs an ogre bard!

@V: Okay, that's even more win. I take back any threats of smiting I may have made against you.

BRC
2008-11-04, 09:40 PM
And this is why every group needs an ogre bard!

No, you need a pipe organ with permenancied Animate Objects on it that you ride into battle.

Shraik
2008-11-04, 09:51 PM
Making Jesus. Yeah. I made a hippie. Exalted Healer, Vow of Poverty, Non Violence, and Peace. After reading over things I realised Level fifteen and the character would be a technical jesus

Ascension
2008-11-04, 10:10 PM
Making Jesus. Yeah. I made a hippie. Exalted Healer, Vow of Poverty, Non Violence, and Peace. After reading over things I realised Level fifteen and the character would be a technical jesus

Don't forget the Saint template.

And @ everyone who has built a nuke in D&D... How?!? I keep hearing people talk about having done this, often with ludicrous components like a mushroom and a ball of twine, but none of them have explained the combination or how their character was supposed to have knowledge of nuclear weapons IC.

Enlong
2008-11-04, 10:11 PM
Making Jesus. Yeah. I made a hippie. Exalted Healer, Vow of Poverty, Non Violence, and Peace. After reading over things I realised Level fifteen and the character would be a technical jesus

Did he often prepare Create Food and Water, and Purify Food and Drink? as well as the various versions of Restoration?

Enlong
2008-11-04, 10:15 PM
Don't forget the Saint template.

And @ everyone who has built a nuke in D&D... How?!? I keep hearing people talk about having done this, often with ludicrous components like a mushroom and a ball of twine, but none of them have explained the combination or how their character was supposed to have knowledge of nuclear weapons IC.

I'd do it with Major Creation. It lets you make metal. Uranium 238 is a metal. And as the Anti Osmium Apocalypse Bomb, I don't think U-238 has a listed price, so with Eschew Materials, you can make large amounts of the stuff.

The Glyphstone
2008-11-04, 10:46 PM
Speaking of the anti-osmium bomb, how exactly is that done with Major Creation? Antimatter is sort of defined by the fact that it's the opposite of matter, and Major Creation specifically mentions creating matter.

purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
2008-11-04, 10:49 PM
I actually managed to get planar shepherd on top of druid. With the dream plane. For 2 sessions.

I've got you beat. I got a dire tiger animal companion in a 3.5 game for the whole campaign.

Recaiden
2008-11-04, 10:55 PM
I've got you beat. I got a dire tiger animal companion in a 3.5 game for the whole campaign.

Oh... the whole campaign you say?

Enlong
2008-11-04, 10:55 PM
Speaking of the anti-osmium bomb, how exactly is that done with Major Creation? Antimatter is sort of defined by the fact that it's the opposite of matter, and Major Creation specifically mentions creating matter.

Well... Major Creation specifically states you can also make metal, nad Anti-Osmium is still a metal, even if it's a metal made of antimatter.

holywhippet
2008-11-04, 11:04 PM
Our GM had just given us our own house in a 3.0 game, and I'd just gotten hold of the arms and equipment guide. So I began looking at potential guard creatures as well as possible mounts for my halfling to ride and asked the GM if he'd allow them:

Owlbear?

No

Mimic?

No

Gelatinous cube (for a mount)?

No

Eldariel
2008-11-04, 11:08 PM
I've got you beat. I got a dire tiger animal companion in a 3.5 game for the whole campaign.

Do you know what Planar Shepherds do?

The Glyphstone
2008-11-04, 11:10 PM
Well... Major Creation specifically states you can also make metal, nad Anti-Osmium is still a metal, even if it's a metal made of antimatter.

...that's the reason? If so, that's disappointingly flimsy for a Campaign Smasher build, they're usually airtight. Minor Creation allows you to create vegetable matter. Major Creation is as Minor Creation, but can also create stone, crystal, or metal - but nothing about it no longer being restricted to matter.

Douglas
2008-11-05, 12:39 AM
In one of my campaigns the DM put a permanent portable Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion in our loot at some point. We proceeded to use it to loot EVERYTHING we came across. We even abducted a zombie janitor once. As I recall one of the rooms ended up as a sort of trophy room filled with the skeletons of various demons and devils we'd killed, and two clones of a BBEG's dead wife who we'd "rescued" before they'd gotten to the education/personality imprint/free leveling part of the production process became the cooks/main house staff.

Swordguy
2008-11-05, 01:31 AM
...that's the reason? If so, that's disappointingly flimsy for a Campaign Smasher build, they're usually airtight. Minor Creation allows you to create vegetable matter. Major Creation is as Minor Creation, but can also create stone, crystal, or metal - but nothing about it no longer being restricted to matter.

As the creator of the anti-osmium bomb (see sig), here's the justification:

As mentioned, the RAW states that "You create a nonmagical, unattended object of nonliving, vegetable matter" (minor creation), and "This spell functions like minor creation, except that you can also create an object of mineral nature" (major creation).

So, it allows the creation of matter. Matter is not defined in the RAW. Thus, we are FORCED to go to the "real-world" definition of matter (because it's a qualifier - you can't create something that isn't matter - you need to know what the definition must be so you can limit the uses of the spell accordingly). The definition of matter is "commonly defined as being anything that has mass and that takes up space." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matter).

Osmium is a metal that has mass and takes up space. Anti-osmium is ALSO a metal that has mass and takes up space, but just happens to have an opposite charge on its protons and electrons. It has the same mass, same number of electron shells, same number of neutrons, and so forth. Thus, by the colloquial definition of "matter", it qualifies as summonable by the spell.

Now, granted, by some very technical definitions antimatter is not matter. However, these involve a large amount of high-level physics, and, frankly, what's more believable? The designers, for no apparent reason, suddenly decided to use a highly technical definition of "matter" in a game that can't even get the names of actual, historic swords and armor right? More likely, they use the colloquial definition - to assume otherwise in this one, singular instance is simply to asinine to believe.

Anti-osmium is absolutely summonable, by RAW.

Now, whether you can know about it...well, where in RAW does it say you don't or can't? Limiting the sum total of what PCs can know and do to the RAW and only the RAW (it doesn't say you can, so you can't) is, I think, not a position any intelligent person wants to take. Do you want to be the one to tell your players "the RAW doesn't say you can do that cool stunt that would dramatically save the day, so you can't even try"? I wouldn't envy you if you did. The slippery slope that line of thinking starts is pretty bad...

Disclaimer: I do not actually advocate the use of either anti-osmium nor asinine justifications such as this one in your game. Look at WHY I made this thing, for Ghu's sake! Look at the context of the thread it was posted in! Short of something like that, there's never an excuse to pull this kind of cheese on your DM!

The Glyphstone
2008-11-05, 01:49 AM
As the creator of the anti-osmium bomb (see sig), here's the justification:

As mentioned, the RAW states that "You create a nonmagical, unattended object of nonliving, vegetable matter" (minor creation), and "This spell functions like minor creation, except that you can also create an object of mineral nature" (major creation).

So, it allows the creation of matter. Matter is not defined in the RAW. Thus, we are FORCED to go to the "real-world" definition of matter (because it's a qualifier - you can't create something that isn't matter - you need to know what the definition must be so you can limit the uses of the spell accordingly). The definition of matter is "commonly defined as being anything that has mass and that takes up space." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matter).

Osmium is a metal that has mass and takes up space. Anti-osmium is ALSO a metal that has mass and takes up space, but just happens to have an opposite charge on its protons and electrons. It has the same mass, same number of electron shells, same number of neutrons, and so forth. Thus, by the colloquial definition of "matter", it qualifies as summonable by the spell.

Now, granted, by some very technical definitions antimatter is not matter. However, these involve a large amount of high-level physics, and, frankly, what's more believable? The designers, for no apparent reason, suddenly decided to use a highly technical definition of "matter" in a game that can't even get the names of actual, historic swords and armor right? More likely, they use the colloquial definition - to assume otherwise in this one, singular instance is simply to asinine to believe.

Anti-osmium is absolutely summonable, by RAW.

Now, whether you can know about it...well, where in RAW does it say you don't or can't? Limiting the sum total of what PCs can know and do to the RAW and only the RAW (it doesn't say you can, so you can't) is, I think, not a position any intelligent person wants to take. Do you want to be the one to tell your players "the RAW doesn't say you can do that cool stunt that would dramatically save the day, so you can't even try"? I wouldn't envy you if you did. The slippery slope that line of thinking starts is pretty bad...

Disclaimer: I do not actually advocate the use of either anti-osmium nor asinine justifications such as this one in your game. Look at WHY I made this thing, for Ghu's sake! Look at the context of the thread it was posted in! Short of something like that, there's never an excuse to pull this kind of cheese on your DM!


That's better. My faith in cheese has been restored.:smallsmile:

xanaphia
2008-11-05, 01:57 AM
Polymorph a boulder into a piece of roast meat. Feed it to someone. A few hours later, a boulder appears inside them.

Anti osmium bomb. That's the first I've heard of it, but it is genius. I had a gamebreaking competition with a friend once. Basically, whoever got initiative won.

Emperor Tippy
2008-11-05, 02:00 AM
Polymorph a boulder into a piece of roast meat. Feed it to someone. A few hours later, a boulder appears inside them.

Anti osmium bomb. That's the first I've heard of it, but it is genius. I had a gamebreaking competition with a friend once. Basically, whoever got initiative won.

It's not properly game breaking if you haven't already rigged the initiative results or figured out how to ensure that you act first.

Sanzh
2008-11-05, 02:03 AM
It's not properly game breaking if you haven't already rigged the initiative results or figured out how to ensure that you act first.
...
Can I sig this, please?

BobVosh
2008-11-05, 02:04 AM
Bear bomb.



We had a magic carpet and dropped our frenzy beserker (enlarged) into armies. We were going to take leadership and carpet bomb frenzy beserkers (level 18 game) but the DM started to break down. Just imagine it. Chain feather fall, have the swarms of level 1-5s fall down with inspire frenzy on, and the 5 cohorts beserkers with the 1 pc beserker.


My friend and I tried to run past a homebrew marshal type based slightly on Wheel of Time. The DM didn't pay much attention and when we got into the game my friend announced that he could "requisition" roughly 2 billion gold from his CO's (I think it was from an extra planar army or something). Then we went on to turn that large amount of gold into Instant Fortresses and used them as ranged weapons (something like 100d6 every round when we launched them at enemies.)

Needless to say, that campaign ended after 2 sessions and we rerolled into reasonable classes.

In wheel of time we had a lot of fun with the weave. Air hockey tables is my favorite invention I did. The weave where you blow wind across the surface? Perfect for this. Harden air, that is what is called.

Also the wolfbrother presitege class would let you wave away prereqs if you took madness. So at level 1 I could enter it. (7d6 sanity) Level 2 I could enter with only 2d6 san O.o

(20+ madness made ya crazy in WoT)

monty
2008-11-05, 02:11 AM
I had a gamebreaking competition with a friend once. Basically, whoever got initiative won.

That's called a "wizard duel."

Emperor Tippy
2008-11-05, 02:17 AM
...
Can I sig this, please?

Feel free.

Enlong
2008-11-05, 02:19 AM
It's not properly game breaking if you haven't already rigged the initiative results or figured out how to ensure that you act first.
Like, Celerity, Time Stop?
OH, if I remember correctly, that's how I started my answer to the "infinite plane of Goblin Monks vs 1 lv 20 Wizard" thread.


That's called a "wizard duel."

Was that an Eragon reference?

FMArthur
2008-11-05, 02:52 AM
That's called a "wizard duel."

Eh? I thought wizards had the most options for giving initiative the finger and doing what they want anyway.

Enlong
2008-11-05, 03:01 AM
What happens if both wizards cast Celerity?

BobVosh
2008-11-05, 03:17 AM
What happens if both wizards cast Celerity?

Thus Tippy was created, and a many cat girl were sacrificed in honor.

monty
2008-11-05, 03:23 AM
Was that an Eragon reference?

No. I have read and seen it, but I didn't even know that was a reference.


Eh? I thought wizards had the most options for giving initiative the finger and doing what they want anyway.

Right. So what do you think happens when two of them fight?

Coidzor
2008-11-05, 03:30 AM
Thus Tippy was created, and a many cat girl were sacrificed in honor.

Where can we learn more of this Tippy and his/her/it's/the Tippyverse?

Emperor Tippy
2008-11-05, 03:35 AM
Where can we learn more of this Tippy and his/her/it's/the Tippyverse?

Ask him? I'm sure he would be willing to talk to people who contacted him over AIM. :smallwink:

The_Snark
2008-11-05, 03:36 AM
What happens if both wizards cast Celerity?

The one who casts Celerity first is interrupted by the second wizard's Celerity. If the first wizard had more than one prepared, he can interrupt the second's Celerity action with his next Celerity, and then the second can do the same, and so on and so on until one runs out of prepared Celerity spells.

Since neither wants to cast first and give up the potentially crucial edge, I imagine you'd get a situation much like a Western duel, wherein both of them stare at one another intently while the wind whips dust around them and harmonica music plays in the background.

Then one of them reaches their normal initiative, the other is forced to open with Celerity, and a second later one of them is dead. Then there's a moment of silence (because the winner is dazed), and then he holsters his pistol wand and walks away in silence.

No, wait, my mistake. Here's where it diverges from a Western; he casts Magnificent Mansion to rest and recover spells instead.

Suleman
2008-11-05, 05:34 AM
Every time my group gets into some kind of trouble, we ask for a Gandalf roll. We roll a d100, and on a 100, Gandalf appears and saves us. If we roll a 1, we instead get Fizban, who probably makes things worse. We have never ever managed to succeed on these rolls, so it's a bit uncertain if the DM actually allowed it.
No, the genre of the game doesn't matter. We can roll for Gandalf in a cyberpunk setting if we wish.

Kris Strife
2008-11-05, 05:42 AM
might I suggest Rincewind instead of Fizban? much more of an innept wizard.

Suleman
2008-11-05, 05:52 AM
might I suggest Rincewind instead of Fizban? much more of an innept wizard.

Rincewind would be a roll of 2. Instead of appearing to help, he runs past, screaming, followed by a horde of something. After a moment of awkward silence, the situation continues as it did before the event.

sleepy
2008-11-05, 07:07 AM
First ever game, still learning the rules, like fourth session. Leafing through books during pizza time, all oblivious to what constitutes good.

Found Divine Metamagic.

Misread it, missed the part where you choose only 1 metamagic feat to apply it to, and figured it just let you freely spend turn attempts to power metamagic as you saw fit. He read it and somehow also missed that part, and congratulated me on finding something pretty cool.

Now, the campaign neither lasted long enough for me to take the feat, nor did I come across persistent spell. Still, I'd say it would have got ugly if the game wasn't so hilariously high powered that it would have been a party trick beside what the space ship we were zooming around in could do.

Kurald Galain
2008-11-05, 07:47 AM
Was that an Eragon reference?

It can't be, because Eragon doesn't contain any original material to reference. Anything that appears to reference Eragon is in fact referencing the things that Eragon imitates, most notably Star Wars.

Kris Strife
2008-11-05, 10:08 AM
Rincewind would be a roll of 2. Instead of appearing to help, he runs past, screaming, followed by a horde of something. After a moment of awkward silence, the situation continues as it did before the event.

But considering how fast Rincewind can run, (fast enough to run on water with barely a ripple) as well as the Luggage, I'm pretty sure you'd have to fight something else

jcsw
2008-11-05, 10:27 AM
Now you just need to make the entire d100 table, each number a famous wizard, each of which do something... hmm...

Kris Strife
2008-11-05, 10:32 AM
Merlin should be in the 90's. Its hard to do since in fantasy, most wizards = the D&D form: PWN you in the face.

paddyfool
2008-11-05, 11:35 AM
Oh dear. So, thus far we have these:

Fizban (does something random)

Rincewind (runs past. Something random and horrible follows, unless you or your enemies look particularly tasty)

Gandalf (you win)

Some further ideas:

John Constantine (your enemies lose, but all party members must roll a d20 - anyone rolling a 1 dies horribly somehow).

Phantom Stranger (does nothing much, other than making mystic pronouncements. Might help you escape if you are very evidently the good guys)

Harry Potter/Hermione/Dumbledore (wins the encounter for you by shouting something in fake latin; party is forced to cringe in shame, then find way to send him/her back to the Rowlingverse asap)

Lord Voldemort (kills you for having the hubris to summon him)

Dr Strange (wins the encounter, then devastates surrounding area in duel with Dormammu).

Merlin (wins the encounter; summons you to medieval England to help him fight Morgaine in return)

Raistlin (wins the encounter, coughs blood over you, wanders off to look into possibility of killing gods)

Shazam (grants you superpowers - you win the encounter!)

Elminster (wins the encounter, gives you annoying side quest)

Zatanna (wins the encounter by talking backwards)

Aleister Crowley (runs away. Starts cult)

Paul McKenna (bending spoons seldom of use in D&D encounteres. See Crowley)

Um... I'm running a tad dry now.

Kris Strife
2008-11-05, 11:47 AM
Ridicully: Ignores the problem to yell at you about paperwork, food, importance of team work, and exercise for 20 rounds or until attacked, then promptly fireballs attacker. leaves a bottle of edible Alchemists Fire.

DigoDragon
2008-11-05, 12:00 PM
Summoning/creating antimatter won't work with my group. We're all big Sci-fi fans and would not consider antimatter the same as matter for such a purpose. :smallsmile: Now uranium might be a different story...

...old D&D 2E game years back someone wanted a really dense sword that could cut through anything. Diamond was suggested, but the player trying to get this sword idea to fly thought it would be too fragile and quickly stolen. So he tried getting a depleted uranium sword out of the GM.

He failed. :smallbiggrin:

WirePaladin
2008-11-05, 12:04 PM
You summon the mad arab....he offers to read you a passage from his book...and than summons devils and demons...

You summon Milamber / Pug...he opens a rift between worlds! and than for some reason even though he's got mad god powers he needs your help to fix things...

You summon Faust...he watch's you die...than walks off (or raises you from the dead as zombies to carry his bags)

You summon Morgan le Fay...who has a girl with her that looks...oddly familiar and after winning the encounter for you...wants to make baby O_O

You summon Zed from the sword of truth...he hits on your grandmother and while you have the image of him sleeping with your grandma in your mind you suffer a -5 to all atk rolls

You summon Circe...there is something...about her... (BAM baleful polymorph...no save)

You summon the wizard of oz! he throws tiny pigs at the enemy and gives the party a chance to run away...to and or from kansas...avoid the desert O_O

You summon Bigby...but since everyone is always summoning all his body parts...his torso is useless to you?

You summon Belgarion...he wins? unless your fighting a god...than he wins slightly slower and needs the help of a big sword

Fax Celestis
2008-11-05, 12:10 PM
Oh dear. So, thus far we have these:

Fizban (does something random)

Rincewind (runs past. Something random and horrible follows, unless you or your enemies look particularly tasty)

Gandalf (you win)

Some further ideas:

John Constantine (your enemies lose, but all party members must roll a d20 - anyone rolling a 1 dies horribly somehow).

Phantom Stranger (does nothing much, other than making mystic pronouncements. Might help you escape if you are very evidently the good guys)

Harry Potter/Hermione/Dumbledore (wins the encounter for you by shouting something in fake latin; party is forced to cringe in shame, then find way to send him/her back to the Rowlingverse asap)

Lord Voldemort (kills you for having the hubris to summon him)

Dr Strange (wins the encounter, then devastates surrounding area in duel with Dormammu).

Merlin (wins the encounter; summons you to medieval England to help him fight Morgaine in return)

Raistlin (wins the encounter, coughs blood over you, wanders off to look into possibility of killing gods)

Shazam (grants you superpowers - you win the encounter!)

Elminster (wins the encounter, gives you annoying side quest)

Zatanna (wins the encounter by talking backwards)

Aleister Crowley (runs away. Starts cult)

Paul McKenna (bending spoons seldom of use in D&D encounteres. See Crowley)

Um... I'm running a tad dry now.

Karsus: Attempts to become the deity of magic. Fails. Magic shuts down until you can figure out a way to instate someone who actually knows what they're doing.

FMArthur
2008-11-05, 12:34 PM
Richard Rahl: You are saved by a virtually random deus ex machina event that most certainly could not have been performed much earlier before things got out of hand.

BRC
2008-11-05, 12:41 PM
Dr Mcninja: Heals your entire party 4d6 hit points, and then deals 5d6 to all enemies, this occurs in the most awsome manner imaginable.
Harry Dresden: says somthing witty. If your opponents are human, he shoots them, if not, he kills them...with fire.
GLaDOS: Does Science, promises Cake if you survive the encounter.

Doresain
2008-11-05, 12:45 PM
David Blaine: appears behind then proceeds to freeze himself in a block of ice

Drascin
2008-11-05, 12:50 PM
Do they have to be wizard wizards, with hermetic magic and such, or all magic users are fair game?

Also, is someone getting all this? We must compile this into an actual Rod-of-Wonder-like table.

Aanyway, some more wizardly types...

Lina Inverse: Chants Dragonslayer, makes an area about three kilometers wide around her nuclearly explode. Both enemies and allies. If you get this result, you better hope your Reflex save is up to par. Then asks you for a huge monetary reward for her trouble.

Zelgadis: Tries to blast opponent, fails utterly because he's the epitome of Worfing. Then remembers that hey, he's a nearly indestructible gish, and slashes the enemy's face open while snarking like there's no tomorrow.

Marisa Kirisame: Enters scene by smashing herself against the enemy leader on her broom, dusts off, and proceeds to blow up every enemy that doesn't immediately start running like hell with high-powered magical lasers. Then she comes to politely say goodbye, winks at you, and speeds away much like she arrived. Later you notice that any spellbook and/or shiny magical bauble owned by your party has misteriously disappeared.

Patchouli Knowledge: Roll another d100. On a result of 75 or better, she's feeling fine today - and so she opens her book and reduces your enemies to their base atoms with the power of all elements combined. On a result worse than 75, however, she's feeling ill, and she falls down coughing when she tries casting, falling prone and cursing her weakness in thirteen different languages.

Waspinator
2008-11-05, 12:51 PM
Rand al'Thor: A long-winded overcomplicated story is told, putting everyone to sleep. Then you are retroactively erased from time.

Zenos
2008-11-05, 12:55 PM
Saruman: Roll a d2. If it is a 1, he helps you win in exchange for information about the ring, if it is a two, he decides to dominate one member of the party and goes away.

Hzurr
2008-11-05, 02:16 PM
Rand al'Thor: A long-winded overcomplicated story is told, putting everyone to sleep. Then you are retroactively erased from time.

The phrase "Blood & bloody ashes" must be used at least 4 times during the encounter, and all female party members are required to sniff condescendingly.

BRC
2008-11-05, 02:30 PM
Granny Weatherwax: She looks at the situation, roll 1d100. If below Fifty, she decides that she dosn't have time for this nonsense and leaves, if you try to stop her, she glares you into submission. If between Fifty and 75, she decides that, since she's here anyway, she might as well help you out, and uses a combination of headology and common sense to solve your problem (Note, not neccessarily involving killing your foes. Many a party has summoned Granny Weatherwax and ended up negotiating a non-agression treaty with the goblins, while feeling rather embarassed that they didn't do that in the beginning). If you get above a 75, you summoned Nanny Ogg instead, she sings a rude song about wheelbarrows.

streakster
2008-11-05, 02:31 PM
John Taylor - Enemies are rendered weaponless. One enemy dies in a horrible and amusing manner.

Dominic Deegan - Party surrenders after the first pun, out of sheer shame.

littlechicory
2008-11-05, 02:45 PM
One of my friends has played a gestalt-class awakened Umbreon (the pokemon) in a campaign.

Blackfang108
2008-11-05, 02:55 PM
Ridicully: Ignores the problem to yell at you about paperwork, food, importance of team work, and exercise for 20 rounds or until attacked, then promptly fireballs attacker. leaves a bottle of edible Alchemists Fire.

Win.

Made.

Of.

Win.

You get an internet.

Sethis
2008-11-05, 03:01 PM
I almost got the Omniscifier to fly. Right up to the point where I became a DR 1 Diety and took Alter Reality as the one power.

Besides that, 3.0 Red Wizard using Simulacra to power Circle Magic.

DC 45 Fort save or die. At level 15.

Saintjebus
2008-11-05, 03:09 PM
I built a rgr3/ftr3/planar explorer5(a custom prc designed by my dm)/Wiz1. I chose the 2 Weapon fighting style, and used a dancing double sword. I also had a Flaming burst longsword(5 lbs. by the Phb) that I wielded with a Hand of the Mage. Then, I used a +1 longbow. That combo let me attack 7 times each round without ever getting into melee. The Prc gave me +1 caster level in regard to spells/day for my wizard level, so I cast spells as a 6th level wizard. I also had an alternate Scribe Scroll feat(Scribe Arrows), so I was fond of shooting arrows of fireball everywhere. In addition, my character did not eat, breathe, or drink, and only had to sleep 2 hours every 24. I took a nap every afternoon, and never got surprised at night. This, combined with an 8-sided cubic gate, gave me a quick getaway anytime I wanted.

Kami2awa
2008-11-05, 03:34 PM
Granny Weatherwax: She looks at the situation, roll 1d100. If below Fifty, she decides that she dosn't have time for this nonsense and leaves, if you try to stop her, she glares you into submission. If between Fifty and 75, she decides that, since she's here anyway, she might as well help you out, and uses a combination of headology and common sense to solve your problem (Note, not neccessarily involving killing your foes. Many a party has summoned Granny Weatherwax and ended up negotiating a non-agression treaty with the goblins, while feeling rather embarassed that they didn't do that in the beginning). If you get above a 75, you summoned Nanny Ogg instead, she sings a rude song about wheelbarrows.

Microsoft Add New Hardware Wizard: Appears and straps new equipment to the characters whether they want it or not. The new equipment will never work properly.

WirePaladin
2008-11-05, 03:42 PM
Elric of Melnibone - Appears!...and acts kind of emo for a bit...no affect on the party...but the girls who swarm up to try to get a piece of him make trample attacks on the enemies.
Or his whiteness could blind all on the field?

AND OR
flip a coin...on heads Elric is in his chaos period...bad news a chaos lord shows up...
on tails..Elric is getting some lawful aid...bad news a lord of law shows up...and you thought santa's naughty list was too tough

If someone cheats and it lands on an edge...a d4 to get one of the elemental lords...anything but water attacks...water just whines for a bit...and gives the party a boat of folding~

Coidzor
2008-11-05, 04:29 PM
For Rincewind, there needs to be another roll to determine whether the protagonists, antagonists, or both, are somehow drawn into the chase after Rincewind.

We mean, seriously, this happens to him all the time, runs between two fighting groups and then they both end up chasing after him. Or he ends up angering one group who decide to chase him and the other group chases after that group and it ends up in one big chase-gang.



In terms of ridiculousness... We once tried to use magical radiation leaking into the groundwater to explain that a region's cows were magically delicious as a possible explanation of a dragon turning into a junkie for them and getting kobolds to steal them for him rather than just doing the job right.

Flickerdart
2008-11-05, 05:00 PM
If we're summoning wizards, we might as well summon Wizards. They take all your GP and teleport you to Azeroth. :smalltongue:

Then there's Sparrowhawk, who breaks magic and then leaves.

Laurellien
2008-11-05, 05:04 PM
A shaedling Warlock, he dual wielded the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus and the Wand of Orcus.

Thane of Fife
2008-11-05, 05:16 PM
Sephrenia: Appears and makes disparaging remarks about the general level uncleanliness / bloodthirstiness / lack of intelligence of all male members of the party. If the party is in combat, every party member is Geased to protect Sephrenia. After the combat, she will offer no thanks, instead tongue-lashing them for being so barbaric as to kill people. In social scenes, she will directly state how everybody else's race is inferior to her's, but all NPCs will merely find this adorable, as opposed to insulting.

In the unlikely event that the PCs are preparing to sneak past something, Sephrenia uses her magic to sneak them past it, automatically being successful. She berates any magic-users in the party for not knowing how she did it.


Tim the Enchanter: If the PC are fighting a monster of CR 3 or higher, Tim immediately Fireballs it. If it is of CR 2 or less, he warns them that it has Big, Pointy Teeth. It gains AC 100, SR 20, and a Vorpal Bite, as well as an Attack Bonus of +50. If it was not already Chaotic Evil, it is now.

KazilDarkeye
2008-11-05, 05:23 PM
Black Mage: Roll d100. On a roll of 90+ BM Hadokens the oppositon. On a roll of 2-89 BM complains about/insults other members of party. On a roll of 1 BM misses his shot with the Hadoken. Ouch. If he has survived he will Lightning Bolt/stab:
* Anyone with levels of Fighter
* Anyone with levels of Rogue/Thief or Ninja
* Anyone wearing a doofy red hat
* Anyone who complains about the smell of his "spell components"
* Anyone who mocked his aim (see above)
* Anyone who mocks his "clown outfit"
* Anyone who is wearing a dress when they REALLY SHOULDN'T BE
* Anyone in the general area, just to be sure.

Red Mage: Roll d100. On a roll of 1-50 he instantly gives your characters loopholes for the rules that don't work. On a roll of 51-100 he gives tactical advice that doesn't work. Either way he makes a big speech about his "fractactical genious" (I did not misspell that)

\/ Thank you. Fixed.

Fax Celestis
2008-11-05, 05:26 PM
Black Mage: Roll d100. On a roll of 90+ BM Hadokens the oppositon. On a roll of 2-89 BM complains about/insults other members of party. On a roll of 1 BM misses his shot with the Hadoken. Ouch.

Addendum: On a roll of 2-89, he also casts lightning bolt on any creature within 30' that has Fighter levels.

Kris Strife
2008-11-05, 05:51 PM
Win.

Made.

Of.

Win.

You get an internet.

Yay! I finally won an internet!

chiasaur11
2008-11-05, 06:03 PM
Black Mage: Roll d100. On a roll of 90+ BM Hadokens the oppositon. On a roll of 2-89 BM complains about/insults other members of party. On a roll of 1 BM misses his shot with the Hadoken. Ouch.

Red Mage: Roll d100. On a roll of 1-50 he instantly gives your characters loopholes for the rules that don't work. On a roll of 51-100 he gives tactical advice that doesn't work. Either way he makes a big speech about his "fractactical genious" (I did not misspell that)

\/ Thank you.

You forgot something for each one.

1) Black Mage should try to stab you party to death.

2) The incredibly bad, no way it could work, utterly insane advice from RM should work about half the time. I mean, he's made it work at least that often, in defiance of all reason.

monty
2008-11-05, 06:10 PM
You know, this wizard stuff should really get its own thread.

Randalor
2008-11-05, 06:57 PM
Ponder Stibbons: On a roll of 1, he will successfully split the Thaum... with devistating results. On any other roll, he will give you a small "computer" that will evolve over time to become a self-aware entity.

On topic: I played a druid after being asked to. A few sessions later they asked me to stop.

Pie Guy
2008-11-05, 07:01 PM
George (Bob and George): Shows up, complains about loss of ice cream, blasts enemy with lightning, enemies shrug it off and he leaves.

Heliomance
2008-11-05, 07:05 PM
Richard the Warlock: Horribly murderates 1d6 opponents in gruesome ways, no save.

Egiam
2008-11-05, 07:06 PM
Also, Half-Illithid from...Fiend Folio? (my laptop crashed, so I lost all my pdfs) gives four tentacles, if I remember right.

Complete psionic, I believe

Holocron Coder
2008-11-05, 07:22 PM
Richard the Warlock: Horribly murderates 1d6 opponents in gruesome ways, no save.

While singing (http://lfgcomic.com/video.php) a lovely cover of 'Part of Your World' from the Little Mermaid

Emperor Tippy
2008-11-05, 07:23 PM
Illithid Savant, that lasted 2 hours.

WirePaladin
2008-11-05, 07:31 PM
on a roll of 19...
Rod Gallowglass has his ship crash land on one enemy...summons his robotic horse which tramples an opponent...confuses the party by transfering a robot brain...than uses his massive magical powers to...pull a gun and shoot any remaining enemies

Any gnomes in the party must assume Rod is a warlock...inspite of himself O_O


If you roll the d100 while it's raining there is a chance that Creslin will show up...whine for a bit...cut up some folks...and than summon massive waterspouts and change the planets weather

Tsukasa shows up!...roll %...on a 1-20 morganna is still his babies momma...he has his monster balls attack you...21-60 he whines and runs away...61-90 he uses amazing dot hack magic to make himself realize he shouldnt be a wavemaster because they suck...and goes off to become a twin blade...91-100 he realizes he's not a male at all...and has to explain it to his girlfriend...while you, your party, and all of the monsters watch...

Thomas Covenant shows up...doesn't believe he's actually there...rapes the first female party member he encounters...than alternating between guilt and more disbelief saves the day...if no female party members are present...he wonders off trying to disprove his environment

Dungeon master shows up!...offers crappy cryptic advice that will make sense once you no longer need any advice

Jimmy Woods shows up! casts the spell video game armageddon...odviously hacks super mario brothers 3...getting all secret flutes the first time he plays...and uses the flutes to summon a tornado...tornado takes him and your opponents away...he never says a word. on a d100 if you a roll a 100 he does stutter out a cali...forn...ia

"The power glove. It's so bad, it's cool."

shaddy_24
2008-11-05, 07:45 PM
Clippy the Paperclip: Appears suddenly beside one of the players and says, "It looks like you are fighting for your life. Would you like to use a template?"

Shraik
2008-11-05, 10:38 PM
Did he often prepare Create Food and Water, and Purify Food and Drink? as well as the various versions of Restoration?

He got alot of things like that from being a healer. He could cure cripples, he could make the blind see, he could do the things your mentioned. Regrow peoples limbs. The dude was Jesus...with a magical unicorn because he's a healer

chiasaur11
2008-11-05, 10:51 PM
He got alot of things like that from being a healer. He could cure cripples, he could make the blind see, he could do the things your mentioned. Regrow peoples limbs. The dude was Jesus...with a magical unicorn because he's a healer

Did high level demons beg for mercy when they saw him?

ashmanonar
2008-11-06, 02:03 PM
Gandalf (You Shall Not Pass!)


Fixed for ya.

Clericzilla
2008-11-06, 05:12 PM
i was a half-elf cleric of corellon in a 3.5 campy and after alot of things that happened (DM made gruumish and corelon work together in destroying a city and a few other things) my character decided to kill himself.... by teleporting to the center of the sun =P the thing is i had the key stone everyone needed to get past a gate... and i took my (in game) half brother the human fighter with me (who i didnt know had the parties money on him) the DM almost crapped his pantssince his campy had to end cause i accidently took the key with me (the only way to get it back is to wait till all the particles come back and reform). Since the paladin became a Risen Martyr he said he was going ot wait for it >.<


i'm actually DM'ing the same campy ....only 850billion years in the future.... the guy playing the paladin wanted to finish his quest lol

Callos_DeTerran
2008-11-06, 05:18 PM
A shaedling Warlock, he dual wielded the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus and the Wand of Orcus.

How the hell did your character get those? O.o

KazilDarkeye
2008-11-06, 05:24 PM
How the hell did your character get those? O.o

My guesses:
Walk Unseen
Fell Flight
That Spider Climb Invocation
Someone willing to cast Plane Shift/a portal/e.t.c.

The list goes on.

Callos_DeTerran
2008-11-06, 05:35 PM
My guesses:
Walk Unseen
Fell Flight
That Spider Climb Invocation
Someone willing to cast Plane Shift/a portal/e.t.c.

The list goes on.

...You do know who has the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus and the Wand of Orcus? Where they live?...What they do to people?....Right?

...And how did a shadeling dual wield two greatclubs?

quick_comment
2008-11-06, 05:38 PM
Another time, my character was really the BBEG in disguise. As part of my nefarious plans, I wanted to assassinate the king of a certain country. The players had found this out and were protecting him. I was part of the party, because they hadnt yet figured out that I was EVIL!

Anyway, we are talking to the king, explaining our plans to protect him, replace him with a simulcra, etc.

I had a notecard to the DM: "Using my rod of chain metamagic, I cast chained, still, silenced mindrape on all the King's guards. As soon as we leave the room, they will all do their best to kill him, and then kill themselves."

We leave to go look around the castle, come back, and everyone is dead.

AslanCross
2008-11-06, 11:57 PM
My players are currently trying to get the following past me:
They sneak into a castle, somehow get into the sewer, and detonate the massed clouds of methane in it. As of the moment I'm adamant that a violently explosive concentration of the gas will not build up in the castle privy given its size and the relatively small number of occupants.

Weiser_Cain
2008-11-07, 12:05 AM
A custom class I made where you eventually eat your spellbook, completely overpowered but was cooler than the story so I ran with it.

BardicDuelist
2008-11-07, 12:57 AM
A custom class I made where you eventually eat your spellbook, completely overpowered but was cooler than the story so I ran with it.

This reminds me of Gargoyles.

Weiser_Cain
2008-11-07, 01:44 AM
This reminds me of Gargoyles.

Hmm, I don't remember that happening, I must have missed it. Do you know the episode?

SilverSheriff
2008-11-07, 05:59 AM
A Man from the future, Terminator style...but then he took it and said that my character can have weapons and items from the Apocalypse time line in exchange for having no gold.

The weapons I picked are good and I took 'Craft: Gun smithing' which the DM said covered making more modern-era ammo.:confused:

Laurellien
2008-11-07, 08:27 AM
How the hell did your character get those? O.o

Read up Shadow Gossamer, there is no limit on the items being non-magical, or having to meet any prerequisites to make them.

Tyrrell
2008-11-07, 10:18 AM
A custom class I made where you eventually eat your spellbook, completely overpowered but was cooler than the story so I ran with it.

Fourth edition Mysteries book for Ars Magica has a way to do this , Tehre may have been a corresponding 3.0 class in Atlas' Occult lore book.

The character I just finished playing had taken a one level dip into mindbender for telepathy up to 100' then took the mindsight feat from the abberation book and was able to always constantly be aware of any mind within 100' and the mind's type (aberation, outsider, etc). Being able to detect the locations of creatures that are invisible or in te nest room or upstairs or whereever turned out to be absurdly powerful for our mid to high level party.

Khanderas
2008-11-07, 10:19 AM
Granny Weatherwax: She looks at the situation, roll 1d100. If below Fifty, she decides that she dosn't have time for this nonsense and leaves, if you try to stop her, she glares you into submission. If between Fifty and 75, she decides that, since she's here anyway, she might as well help you out, and uses a combination of headology and common sense to solve your problem (Note, not neccessarily involving killing your foes. Many a party has summoned Granny Weatherwax and ended up negotiating a non-agression treaty with the goblins, while feeling rather embarassed that they didn't do that in the beginning). If you get above a 75, you summoned Nanny Ogg instead, she sings a rude song about wheelbarrows.
Win.
Made me laugh out loud. And that is usually a good thing, but right now I am at work sneaking time on the internetz. :smallwink:
*hums the song about how a wizard staff has a knobby end*


Another time, my character was really the BBEG in disguise. As part of my nefarious plans, I wanted to assassinate the king of a certain country. The players had found this out and were protecting him. I was part of the party, because they hadnt yet figured out that I was EVIL!

Anyway, we are talking to the king, explaining our plans to protect him, replace him with a simulcra, etc.

I had a notecard to the DM: "Using my rod of chain metamagic, I cast chained, still, silenced mindrape on all the King's guards. As soon as we leave the room, they will all do their best to kill him, and then kill themselves."

We leave to go look around the castle, come back, and everyone is dead.
Beautiful, and oh so very evil. If I offered obscene amounts of money, can you teach me ?

Tyrrell
2008-11-07, 10:20 AM
3.0 game, chain metamagic feat + greater enchanted weapon, everyone got +5 everything all day long.

Vagnarok
2008-11-07, 11:07 AM
My friends and I were playing a gladiatorial combat adventure. My friend was being difficult so the DM named him the Salami Swordsman and his supermove had to be "scratching his genitals with his dagger". Of course, my friend thought this was all too funny, and proceeded to start rolling to do his supermove at every possible moment. This got really old until he rolled a 1 for threat, and then came through with another 1!!! His voice got a lot higher thereafter.

I guess that wasn't really something to get past the DM, but it was absolutely hilarious.

DemetriX
2008-11-07, 04:00 PM
I had convinced my DM that Sorcerers actually know as many spells as they can cast per day. :P That meant I was very very overpowered. In another campaign where my DM was more serious and knew the rules well, I had convinced him that I can use my DEX modifier for attack rolls with a Rapier and I was playing like this for many sessions... until I got Weapon Finesse at 6th level (!). Also, in another campaign with one DM you most here will probably love or hate, because he's so fu..ing using the rules, I got a Tiny Viper familiar and I could talk to it from 1st level. When I was 3rd level, it spoke to a huge snake, too! Well, I remember that once I had tried to convince him that Foxhole (a 1st-level Psionic Power of Psychic Warrior from Untapped Potential, the only unofficial book that he let us use) actually gave concealment in four cubes of 10 feet wide, high and long and that I could manifest them in different places so my party and I were saved more than 5 times (until a Wizard casted a Fireball inside one and then we were looking for a Cleric who could cast True Ressurection!). I was very proud, because he was enforcing the rules so strictly and he couldn't handle a 1-st level power because of the fact that its description took me 2 papers (A4) to write. :P

Weiser_Cain
2008-11-07, 04:33 PM
Fourth edition Mysteries book for Ars Magica has a way to do this , Tehre may have been a corresponding 3.0 class in Atlas' Occult lore book.

The character I just finished playing had taken a one level dip into mindbender for telepathy up to 100' then took the mindsight feat from the abberation book and was able to always constantly be aware of any mind within 100' and the mind's type (aberation, outsider, etc). Being able to detect the locations of creatures that are invisible or in te nest room or upstairs or whereever turned out to be absurdly powerful for our mid to high level party.

Constructs and mindless undead.

KazilDarkeye
2008-11-07, 06:09 PM
...You do know who has the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus and the Wand of Orcus? Where they live?...What they do to people?....Right?

...And how did a shadeling dual wield two greatclubs?

Of course, they live right here in the Fiendish Codices.:smallbiggrin:

You could rule that since magic items resize that this is possible (I know this doesn't normally happen with weapons, but if I'm not mistaken as per RAW magic items resize and there's no counter-rule for weapons).

And I suggested the Warlock got it using Unlimited Invisibility, Spider Climb and Fly to sneak past the fiends into the Lower Planes and steal these 2 major artefacts. He may have just about saved the world from Baator (although they still have armies of devils, and of course Asmodeus was probably smart enough to think ahead and suspect that someone who gained Warlock power from a Fiendish Pact (TM) could sneak in and steal the rod. The Abyss is also still a danger, since it was just one demon prince who no-one likes really well).

Callos_DeTerran
2008-11-07, 06:51 PM
You could rule that since magic items resize that this is possible (I know this doesn't normally happen with weapons, but if I'm not mistaken as per RAW magic items resize and there's no counter-rule for weapons).

Okay, I could see that actually but I usually only rule that armor resizes since my bigger creatures usually don't have weapons my party could use in the first place.


And I suggested the Warlock got it using Unlimited Invisibility, Spider Climb and Fly to sneak past the fiends into the Lower Planes and steal these 2 major artefacts. He may have just about saved the world from Baator (although they still have armies of devils, and of course Asmodeus was probably smart enough to think ahead and suspect that someone who gained Warlock power from a Fiendish Pact (TM) could sneak in and steal the rod. The Abyss is also still a danger, since it was just one demon prince who no-one likes really well).

This...doesn't change the fact that...

...fiends of the CR to be seen would have true seeing at will and or constantly. He would have had to sneak into the personal fortresses of Orcus and Asmodeus both (neither of which has been officially accomplished with the doer of said do making it out alive) and then somehow negate the claus of Asmodeus and Orcus just willing the weapon back to them if for some bizarre reason they even put it down (and they DO have true seeing on at all times).

And maybe I do need to look at that again since the last time I checked Shadow Gossmar couldn't replicate major artifacts.

KazilDarkeye
2008-11-07, 06:57 PM
Maybe both were smart enough to make a fake/fakes of each that will explode at an awkward moment. I'd like to watch that.

Starbuck_II
2008-11-07, 07:13 PM
...fiends of the CR to be seen would have true seeing at will and or constantly. He would have had to sneak into the personal fortresses of Orcus and Asmodeus both (neither of which has been officially accomplished with the doer of said do making it out alive) and then somehow negate the claus of Asmodeus and Orcus just willing the weapon back to them if for some bizarre reason they even put it down (and they DO have true seeing on at all times).



Don't forget Asmodeus wanted him to steal it. Everything is all part of his plan. So with his help, it would be easier.

PanNarrans
2008-11-07, 07:36 PM
Radagast the Brown appears! He ignores everything except the party's mounts/familiars/animal companions, which he chats to companiably. If attacked, he summons an Oliphaunt to wreak havoc.

Back to ridiculous things... I let Onasuma play a half dragon. Riding a rhino. He could fly, lifting the rhino between his legs.
That's not the worst of it, though. I really shoulda seen it coming when he asked to buy 46 anvils... but he put them into a bag of holding, flew above a wyvern, and turned the bag inside out. RAW, I make that 46 DC 15 reflex saves for 20d6 damage each. :smallannoyed:

Neftren
2008-11-07, 08:03 PM
I tried to bluff my way past a God. And rolled a Natural 20 on my Bluff Check.
Suffice to say, my DM had to come up with a creative answer.

monty
2008-11-07, 08:11 PM
I tried to bluff my way past a God. And rolled a Natural 20 on my Bluff Check.
Suffice to say, my DM had to come up with a creative answer.

So, was the trick that a natural 20 on a skill check isn't an automatic success?

Yukitsu
2008-11-07, 10:09 PM
I'll point out that my DM has made a practice of banning the first set of feats I take for my characters, so I usually have a secondary set at hand. One time this resulted in me getting 3 attacks on my enemy every time they took and attack of opportunity. :smallsmile:

Neftren
2008-11-07, 10:20 PM
So, was the trick that a natural 20 on a skill check isn't an automatic success?

My DM didn't know that at the time, so I OOC bluffed him through it. That was the funny part... which I neglected to mention. I just thought it was kind of crazy how someone would attempt to bluff past an omnipotent deity of significantly higher power.

kopout
2008-11-09, 09:32 PM
level one . we have been captured by mind flayers. we are shackled with psionic goop. one roll to brake free. I make it and begin braking out my other limbs. once free I rescue my comrade. we explore a bit be for we are attacked in a hall out side the examination room there are tow of them I flip a table and bring out my repeating crossbow I stole earlier I cast magic weapon on the crossbow and start shooting from behind the table my comrade has only a sword and can't afford to get close i have an extra clip ( crossbows are like the one from van hellsing) and he loads well I shoot . we win:smallbiggrin:

turns out we where never meant to escape:smalltongue:

mikeejimbo
2008-11-09, 09:44 PM
Mystic Theurge in a Gestalt campaign. Not seriously, just jokingly because when I asked "So what Prestige Classes will be disallowed?" and he didn't say Mystic Theurge... He proceeded to smack me with the book.

Celeres
2008-11-09, 10:59 PM
haven't actually done it, but i'm hoping to try it one day.

buy a bag of caltrops. hollow out a few, so they become 3-way straws.

using soveriegn glue, glue stirges to 3 holes on each caltrop.

make them mine to control.

using Telekinesis, have each caltrop attack the enemy, sticking into them, then having the stirges suck out blood.

if it worked right, using just 4 caltrops and 12 stirges, i could 12d4 con damage in one round.

it probably wouldn't work like that, but it was an idea i had when i was criminally sleep deprived last night.

Child Conscript
2008-11-22, 02:29 AM
The most craziest thing I let my players do was summon badgers, get them in a rage, then use them as a thrown weapons to try and get them in the guards
face. (actually worked, took damage then got killed by an attack of opportunity.)

As a player, started interrogating creatures with 0 hp, then summarliy sentence them do death by hanging. (kicking chairs out from uderneath them was fun :smallsmile:)

Seffbasilisk
2008-11-22, 03:23 AM
Granny Weatherwax: She looks at the situation, roll 1d100. If below Fifty, she decides that she dosn't have time for this nonsense and leaves, if you try to stop her, she glares you into submission. If between Fifty and 75, she decides that, since she's here anyway, she might as well help you out, and uses a combination of headology and common sense to solve your problem (Note, not neccessarily involving killing your foes. Many a party has summoned Granny Weatherwax and ended up negotiating a non-agression treaty with the goblins, while feeling rather embarassed that they didn't do that in the beginning). If you get above a 75, you summoned Nanny Ogg instead, she sings a rude song about wheelbarrows.

Don't you mean hedgehogs?

Shpadoinkle
2008-11-22, 05:42 AM
(Yeah, this is kinda long, sorry)

A few days ago, I was playing my centaur Giant Killer (ranger kit) in a 2e game. We were fighting frost giants. At one point, three characters, one of them mine, were Invisible and observing them, more or less. My sister's character, a shaman or something, I don't know for sure... some priest variant- anyway, she cast Silence 15' Radius on my character, and I proceeded to slaughter three frost giants who were the last of a group who had just gone into a tunnel, and were replacing a huge boulder that was being used as sot of a door. My sister's character, who was still invisible, did some scouting inside and found about a dozen more giants in two seperate room. I went into one and proceeded to (silently) slaughter four more of them, while seven others went on patrol, using the same exit from the cave system that we had used- evidently they all rolled critical failures on thier Wisdom checks, as none of them seemed to notice thier three slain comrades, who at this point were missing thier heads (something my character does to inspire fear).

I noticed this, but evidently neither my sister or the DM did, so I figured I wouldn't question something that had gone in our favor. The DM did realize his mistake a bit later, though. We sort of retconned it to my sister's character and the wizard who was with us having dragged thier bodies over the edge of a nearby cliff (evidently there was no blood because my flaming swords had cauterized the wounds they made... that doesn't explain why the hits from my hooves didn't cause bleeding, though)

The most rediculous thing I TRIED getting past my DM, but didn't succeed at, though... that would probably have to be an earlier game in the same campaign, where I inquired about buying some sort of elixir, I forget the name, but it was developed by Drow and gave the drinker two extra arms, permanently. As I was already standing at 4 attacks per round (at level five or so- and bear in mind this was 2e, where only warrior classes got more than one attack per weapon per round, and that was only after level 7, and then only applied every other round until like level 13) and already pretty much slaughtering any giant I faced, I could understand his outright banning of the item, even though I offered to pay double the book price for it. I wouldn't have allowed it either.

Tacoma
2008-11-26, 07:51 PM
This all starts with Fire Trap in 2E. I was playing, the DM was a douche.

Fire Trap states that it goes off when someone opens the container you trap. You cannot trap an already-Fire Trapped container. We all agreed that smashing the container open sets off the Fire Trap. After all, if you Fire Trapped a chest and someone smashed it, the spell should still go off right?

Right.

So the first iteration was to use Fire Trap as a method for lighting flaming oil pots. You throw the pot, it crashes into the wall, thus opening, and lights the fire. Cool. Same goes if you throw it at a monster or at the monster's square (though a direct hit is more difficult it yields 2d6 oil damage plus the fire trap instead of 2 pts splash damage plus FT).

The second iteration involved me buying tiny vials and packing them "closed" with pitch-soaked bits of cotton. You stick ten of them in a small bag, FT on each, and you throw it. If even one vial breaks, the resulting fire burns away the other corks and sets them off.

Result: 5th level Cleric (in a magic-poor and tight-fisted yet very random and difficult campaign) has a bag he can throw for 10d4+50 damage (save for half) in a 5' square. That 5' square of ground has an AC of 10. So it's like a grenade but it will never hurt you. Plus it's basically free and takes like 3 days to make. I carried 10 at a time.

The DM had us run into some giants, one of whom hit my character with a club. Even though he had not once ever had a giant's club or a fall from a great height force an item save (including characters with potions) he did this time. In fact I've NEVER had a DM give item saves for a big impact like that. Anyway, suffice to say one of the vials failed, then all failed, and a 5' sphere was missing out of the center of my horse's back. Which pretty much blew it in half. And the giant died instantly. My character was vaporized. And we decided that we'd limit ourselves to just one firetrapped projectile per attack. This had worked for us to this day. I think it's a pretty fair and balanced use of the spell if it's just one spell on an oil pot and you're just throwing one per round.



---


My second was with the same DM, later with a second Cleric character in a different campaign. Glyph of Warding has a material component cost if the inscribed surface is very large, but not if it's small. There is no minimum size of warded area. You cannot draw overlapping Glyphs.

A Glyph of Warding goes off if an intruder walks on it or touches it. Even if he touches it with a sword, as my DM ruled. The inscriber cannot set off his own Glyphs. So after encountering such a Glyph, I inscribed Paralyzation Glyphs on my robes and shield and this flat paddle-like club I used. When someone hit me, they would strike perhaps 10 of the half-inch Glyphs at a time. Oh, you just hit me? Save vs. spell ten times. Oh, I just hit you? Save vs spell 30 times (although I could only do this trick with each side of the paddle once before re-inscribing).
I also inscribed Glyphs of Warding that did "magic damage" instead of fire or electricity, which did 1d4 per caster level (save for half). These Glyphs I inscribed four to an arrowhead and gave them to our party archer. Suddenly he was hitting with an arrow that did 6d4, save half, four times, plus arrow damage. At 6th level.

A far less nasty version was simply to inscribe one Glyph on a 5' square pillowcase on each of its four surfaces. The pillowcase was dyed black, brown, and grey so it blended in with a lot of surfaces. When we encamped or holed up in a dungeon I would lay out these pillowcases carefully on 5' squares to act as a trap for wandering monsters. Pick em up right before you leave. And if one gets set off, the Glyph is erased and you turn it over or turn it inside out for the other two sides. This is actually a pretty good and fair use of the spell since you can only carry so many of these things.

Snare, I believe, was used to enchant a rope to bind an opponent but it was permanent until activated. So you'd have this bundle of rope loops and you'd lay them out in 5' squares around the camp to grab intruders. Again, pretty fair use of the spell.

---

But don't feel too bad for my DM. He's the kind of dude who would roll for random encounters on a d12, and if we hit a "1" followed by a roll for a Great Wyrm Red Dragon one day out of town then that's what we'd encounter. But if we killed an ogre and in his treasure there was a roll that resulted in the Invulnerable Coat of Arnd then ... well ... just maybe it was a +1 Dagger instead.

And we'd constantly be encountering set pieces like: at 6th level we meet a bunch of racist 10th level Fighters backed up by a cleric of Talona who "we could have run away from" but who surrounded and blasted us as soon as they saw us ... on a city street ...

So you see my machinations were necessary. Quite.

Oslecamo
2008-11-26, 08:07 PM
Well, if you had enough money to go around spaming glyph spells so willy nilly then the DM couldn't be as cruel as you say.

Tacoma
2008-11-26, 08:29 PM
There is no material component if the glyph is small. If it's over a certain size you need to use powdered gem. I mentioned this.

Ridureyu
2008-11-26, 09:27 PM
DISCLAIMER: The following may appear to be offensive. Keep in mind that it was done as a joke about certain D&D "species" and "type" classifications, and does not reflect my actual feelings on the matter.


Me: "So, my Ranger can have favored enemies, like, Favored Enemy: Elf and Favored Enemy: Drow are different, right?"

DM: "Sure."

Me: "And I can also do Favored Enemy: Dwarf and Favored Enemy: Duergar, right? They are both different?"

DM: "Yes, they are different."

Me: "Okay. Favored Enemy: Mexican."

DM: "....!!! You can't do that!"

Me: "Favored Enemy: Asian?"

DM: "Stop it!"

Me: "Favored Enemy: Negro."

DM: "This is terrible!"

Me: "how about Favored Enemy: Caucasian?"

DM: "Stop it!"

Me: "Well, Drow are just elves with darker skin in a different location, and Duergar are..."

DM: "Favored Enemy: Human."

Fame Throwa
2008-11-27, 09:51 AM
Bear toboggan. It was a running joke that there were nothing but bears in the world we were in because the DM kept throwing us up against bears, so we decided to build a sled and had some bears we tamed (I had a crazy handle animal check) and have them pull it. It was pretty tight.

Ridureyu
2008-11-27, 11:06 PM
How to Become a Beholder in 3.5:

Level 7 - Druid 5, Master of Many Forms 2

Wild Shape, Assume Supernatural Ability, Aberration Blood, Aberration Wild Shape, Scavenging Gullet, Warped Mind, Durable Form, Bestial hide

Thus, you can turn into a Beholder, and even use its eye rays! Now, the proper time to do this is not in combat, but in other situations, including:

1. When talking to the King

2. In the tavern

3. When buying something

4. When in an inn room with a wench

5. While worshipping at the Temple of Pelor

Yukitsu
2008-11-27, 11:09 PM
Bear toboggan. It was a running joke that there were nothing but bears in the world we were in because the DM kept throwing us up against bears, so we decided to build a sled and had some bears we tamed (I had a crazy handle animal check) and have them pull it. It was pretty tight.

My DM had a bear follow around my wizard as an animal companion I didn't really deserve once. I gave him a steal helmet with a spike on the top and named him Major Ursa.

Kroy
2008-11-28, 01:23 AM
I had Never (:smallwink:) tried to get anything absurd past any DM, but one of my players tried to get a character with three eighteens, two seventeens, and a fifteen. And the character was pure Prc, and a 3.0 edition one too (we play 3.5). Does this look suspicious to anyone else?

The Glyphstone
2008-11-28, 01:31 AM
I had Never (:smallwink:) tried to get anything absurd past any DM, but one of my players tried to get a character with three eighteens, two seventeens, and a fifteen. And the character was pure Prc, and a 3.0 edition one too (we play 3.5). Does this look suspicious to anyone else?

Looks illegal to me - even in 3.0, I don't think you could go into a Prestige class from level 1...

Raging Gene Ray
2008-11-28, 01:33 AM
[b]pure Prc[/url], and a 3.0 edition one too (we play 3.5). Does this look suspicious to anyone else?

There is a line between absurd and not allowed by the rules. What PrC allows you to enter it at first level?

Ninja'd. How embarassing.

chiasaur11
2008-11-28, 01:39 AM
How to Become a Beholder in 3.5:

Level 7 - Druid 5, Master of Many Forms 2

Wild Shape, Assume Supernatural Ability, Aberration Blood, Aberration Wild Shape, Scavenging Gullet, Warped Mind, Durable Form, Bestial hide

Thus, you can turn into a Beholder, and even use its eye rays! Now, the proper time to do this is not in combat, but in other situations, including:

1. When talking to the King

2. In the tavern

3. When buying something

4. When in an inn room with a wench

5. While worshipping at the Temple of Pelor

Yes.
That is a very good idea. Especially for getting discounts.

Aquillion
2008-11-28, 02:06 AM
How to Become a Beholder in 3.5:

Level 7 - Druid 5, Master of Many Forms 2

Wild Shape, Assume Supernatural Ability, Aberration Blood, Aberration Wild Shape, Scavenging Gullet, Warped Mind, Durable Form, Bestial hideThen you take a level in Beholder Mage, and proceed into Arcane Heirophant. At which point you get attacked and killed by someone who used the same trick to become an Illithid Savant.

(For those who don't know the classes involved, at level 17 this build ends up with the full casting ability of a 20th level wizard -- by character level 17, mind you -- plus the wild shaping ability of a 16th level druid, with bonuses from Master of Many Forms; plus the druid casting and familiar abilities of a 15th level druid. Plus some additional class features granted by Arcane Hierophant, like casting their wizard spells in armor. Or, more properly, the Illithid Savant that kills you gets their choices from those abilities, since that's what your DM will do to you if you try it...)

Ridureyu
2008-11-28, 03:23 AM
You can also become Cthulhu.


Half-Illithid Changling Warlock 6

Use Minor Change Shape to appear fiendish.

Giant Size Scroll, use Deceive Device.

Fell Flight, Beguiling Influence.

The result? Giant flying Mind Flayer that looks demonic, but with a bluff modifier of +19=+27, can drive you insane or convince you that it is a kitten.

Bayar
2008-11-28, 03:28 AM
Looks illegal to me - even in 3.0, I don't think you could go into a Prestige class from level 1...

No, but you could just go with rebuilding your base classes into prestige classes so you could be a 100 % PrC character. Just watch for the requirements.

TheCountAlucard
2008-11-28, 03:29 AM
You can also become Cthulhu.


Half-Illithid Changling Warlock 6

Use Minor Change Shape to appear fiendish.

Giant Size Scroll, use Deceive Device.

Fell Flight, Beguiling Influence.

The result? Giant flying Mind Flayer that looks demonic, but with a bluff modifier of +19=+27, can drive you insane or convince you that it is a kitten.

Be sure and toss on a scroll of glibness, just to make it more convincing...

Ridureyu
2008-11-28, 03:32 AM
Good idea. Can't be too careful, can we?

ericgrau
2008-11-28, 03:14 PM
My players are currently trying to get the following past me:
They sneak into a castle, somehow get into the sewer, and detonate the massed clouds of methane in it. As of the moment I'm adamant that a violently explosive concentration of the gas will not build up in the castle privy given its size and the relatively small number of occupants.

I think Mythbusters squelched something similar. Doesn't work, not nearly enough fuel IIRC.

Side note on combustion, for more proof: You need a somewhat precise mixture of fuel and air for combustion to work. Too much or too little fuel and it won't ignite at all. That's coming from a class on combustion, but you can play around with a potato cannon and see for yourself. Liquid fuels, especially volatile liquid fuels, OTOH, burn easily because somewhere near the surface there is the right fuel/air mixture. Same for a continuous source of pure gas fuel being let into the open air as it burns (without any premixing). So it doesn't matter that there's too much fuel too near the liquid/gas and too little too far away; somewhere it is right. For this reason all continuously burning flames are hollow: candle flames, torch flames, etc.

EDIT: I should add that, in general, any time a player tries to use "science" it is generally wrong not only because his character doesn't know how to do it, but also because the player himself doesn't know how to do it.

ChaosDefender24
2008-11-28, 03:20 PM
Feral totemist anthropomorphic squid soul eater


There were a lot of undead the second half of that session


In the same game I managed to pull off the 12-headed cryohydra on the MoMF, breath weapon included. It's not the beholder, but still, gross

Ravens_cry
2008-11-28, 03:50 PM
I tried to see if I could invent a decanter of endless holy water.
Undead beware!
He actually allowed it in theory, but said I didn't have enough money for the materials. Still, maybe next game.

Kris Strife
2008-11-28, 08:24 PM
I tried to see if I could invent a decanter of endless holy water.
Undead beware!
He actually allowed it in theory, but said I didn't have enough money for the materials. Still, maybe next game.

get a decanter of endless water, have a cleric or paladin use the spell that makes water holy on it.

Ravens_cry
2008-11-28, 09:05 PM
get a decanter of endless water, have a cleric or paladin use the spell that makes water holy on it.
Yes, but if that worked then you would need 5 pounds times infinity of silver.

Collin152
2008-11-28, 09:07 PM
Yes, but if that worked then you would need 5 pounds times infinity of silver.

Good thing we know about the Elemental Plane of Silver, eh?

Kris Strife
2008-11-28, 09:33 PM
Who keeps track of material components anyways? Besides the campaign was at high to epic levels at this point.

Aquillion
2008-11-28, 09:48 PM
Yes, but if that worked then you would need 5 pounds times infinity of silver.In that case you get a Dweomerkeeper to cast the spell, not just a cleric. They have a power that lets them ignore all components (including expensive material components, or xp components) a certain number of times per day.

Ravens_cry
2008-11-28, 10:25 PM
In that case you get a Dweomerkeeper to cast the spell, not just a cleric. They have a power that lets them ignore all components (including expensive material components, or xp components) a certain number of times per day.
Now THAT is useful information. At what point do they gain this ability?
I am at the forgotten realms wiki article on the chaps, but it ultimately more fluff then crunch. it doesn't even mention this ability. An idea I had was a endless decanter that you would feed silver to make the water, holy water. Rather back breaking, except I thought of 'commissioning' a wondrous item that (with a newly researched spell) that converts gold and platinum to the equivalent worth in silver. Think of tube you drop a gold piece in, and ten silver pieces come out the other end.

Anonymous Man
2008-11-29, 10:37 AM
My party was fighting a pyrohydra and a devil near a cliff, and I had my Duskblade use demension gate on my sword when I hit the hydra. It reappered over the edge, and went splat.

Aquillion
2008-11-29, 11:12 AM
Now THAT is useful information. At what point do they gain this ability?
They're from the Complete Divine Web Enhancement (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/we/20040522a), which is available to download from the Wizards website.

You get the ability (Supernatural Spell) at 4th level in the class; and the requirement that sets its entry level is 8 ranks in a skill. Along the way to 4th level you also get Mantle of Spells twice (which lets you pick a spell and convert your prepared spells of equal or higher level to that spell, like a cleric converting Cure or Inflict spells.)

Note that its requirements are a bit steep in one respect -- it requires both arcane and divine casting, as well as the Magic domain, so absent some form of cheese (e.g. claiming Anyspell satisfies the requirement) you'll lose at least one caster level to multiclassing in order to meet the requirements.

Also note that the level 10 Dweomerkeeper ability is an across-the-board metamagic cost reduction of 1 (min level cost still 1, sadly).

Dairun Cates
2008-11-29, 01:15 PM
I managed to get my GM to allow me to play a Shaman in Slayers d20. Does that count?

Prak
2008-11-29, 11:21 PM
I had the two party tanks dogpile grapple a gargoyle and slam it into the wall. I told the dm that they could use the aid another action on each other's grapple checks. not too bad, right, I also told the DM that the gargoyle took damage as the "improvised weapon" from the wall and it's own weight.

why did I do this? the dm didn't bother to think about whether or not the gargoyle was an appropriate challenge for us. He also doesn't know the rules as well as me...:smallamused:


Yes, but if that worked then you would need 5 pounds times infinity of silver.

or you play in my games... bless water doesn't have a component, that way an actual profit can be made.

Heliomance
2008-11-29, 11:26 PM
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. It's not really gamebreaking, no reason why it shouldn't work.

Scribble
2008-12-02, 06:14 PM
I tried to play my golfer... about the most twinked out thing I can play in gestalt.

Fighter 9 on one side
Barbarian 5/War Hulk 4 on the other

Using the two template Mineral Warrior from Underdark and Half-Minotaur from Dragon Mag.

Give him the Dungeoncrasher Fighter variant from Dungeonscape.
The Goliath Greathammer from Races of Stone.
And Strongarm Bracers and a Belt of Growth from the Magic Item Compendium.
Main feats are Knockback, Leap Attack and Improved/Powerful Charge.

So yeah... if he grows to Huge he's weilding a Gargantuan Greathammer now and has some rather insane extra dice when he charges. Power attack any amount and get a free bullrush with the damage dealt added a bonus to the contested Strength check. If you knock your opponent back into something solid (very likely in any dungeon) then you deal additional damage about equal to the base damage you just did to them.

You can get somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 damage very easily. Plus with the war hulk's Mighty Swing you get to do this to 3 creatures at once assuming they're clustered together nicely.

So yeah, really over powered and overly focused on one combat mechanic. Like a friend of mine said "Munchkins are like donuts, they usually have large holes in them."

Tohron
2008-12-02, 07:07 PM
They're from the Complete Divine Web Enhancement (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/we/20040522a), which is available to download from the Wizards website.

You get the ability (Supernatural Spell) at 4th level in the class; and the requirement that sets its entry level is 8 ranks in a skill. Along the way to 4th level you also get Mantle of Spells twice (which lets you pick a spell and convert your prepared spells of equal or higher level to that spell, like a cleric converting Cure or Inflict spells.)

Note that its requirements are a bit steep in one respect -- it requires both arcane and divine casting, as well as the Magic domain, so absent some form of cheese (e.g. claiming Anyspell satisfies the requirement) you'll lose at least one caster level to multiclassing in order to meet the requirements.

Also note that the level 10 Dweomerkeeper ability is an across-the-board metamagic cost reduction of 1 (min level cost still 1, sadly).

Wouldn't this be ridiculously powerful with Epic casting? I mean, you do have to add +20 to the DC to make casting a standard action (+100 if it's permanancied), but you could then do a -200 by adding XP costs that won't affect you anyway.

Aquillion
2008-12-03, 02:54 AM
Wouldn't this be ridiculously powerful with Epic casting? I mean, you do have to add +20 to the DC to make casting a standard action (+100 if it's permanancied), but you could then do a -200 by adding XP costs that won't affect you anyway.
Nah, doesn't work with epic magic (the clarifying text mentions having it 'prepared' or it being a spell that you know and have a slot of the appropriate level open for -- in context, neither of those could work for Epic Magic, which isn't prepared like that and doesn't use level-specific slots.)

Not that it matters, since you can just use Supernatural Spell with Major Creation to create infinite wealth, then use that wealth to hire infinite spellcasters to support your epic casting.

Weiser_Cain
2008-12-03, 11:28 PM
Brother started a game at lvl1 with the Sword of Kas, no will save needed.

Ovaltine Patrol
2009-05-11, 11:22 PM
Traveling with an animated bookshelf that had nothing but Vacuous Grimoires on it, then using Suggestion or Charm Person to have my enemies catch up on their reading.

Olo Demonsbane
2009-05-12, 11:02 AM
Arise Thread from where you slumbered beneath the ground!

Sstoopidtallkid
2009-05-12, 11:36 AM
Traveling with an animated bookshelf that had nothing but Vacuous Grimoires on it, then using Suggestion or Charm Person to have my enemies catch up on their reading.Dread Necromancer who could reanimate clothes. No matter how awesome some threads were, making it undead generally ruined it.