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View Full Version : What was your Funniest Character Moment?



Lupy
2008-11-17, 06:33 PM
You know what I mean, that one hilarious comment in Character that makes you remember a gaming session forever.

I was DMing my 4th edition campaign, and the party (level 3) consists of a Wizard, a Ranger (archer), a Paladin, a Warlord, and a Fighter. The Fighter is the most unoptimized character ever, a Halfling with chainmail armor, average CON, and an INT of 4 as his crowning ability phail, but the player has a lot of fun being the comic relief in the otherwise serious campaign.

The Characters have just had their butts kicked by a a pair of Dragonborn, fled, and then attacked a group of Kobolds to take the healing potions their shaman has on his belt. They kill his minions, but then he uses a wand of fireball and sets the forest on fire. The Paladin goes down, so does the Ranger, they were hurt the worst. The Wizard Feysteps out of the way and then passes out because his player wanted him to (he likes the drama), leaving the Warlord and the idiot Fighter. The Warlord boldly plunges into the fire to get the potions and heal the others. He calls for the Fighter to help, but the Fighter instead shouts: "FOREST ON WATER! ME GET FIRE TO PUT OUT FOREST WATER!!!" And then runs to the stream shouting, "ME HELP GET FIRE! MISTY THE BEAR SAY ONLY ME PREVENT FOREST WATERS!" And so on and so forth, until, after the encounter is over and the fire is out, the wizard explains to him that he had fire and water backwards. :smallbiggrin:

Hal
2008-11-17, 07:34 PM
This is also from a 4th ed game. Long story short, one of the hapless orc mooks we encountered along the way became my cleric's orc mook. The goal was to "civilize" him so he could integrate into normal society. Also, he has a strength score in the low 20s, who can argue with that at 3rd level?

Anyhow, the party is involved in a bit of cloak and dagger activity, and we get invited into a planning room where a cauldron of soup is bubbling over the fire. Our soon-to-be employer invites everyone to sit down and have a bowl of soup. The orc hangs around the back, watching everyone ladel out some soup. As soon as everyone has a bowl, he approaches the cauldron, looks around cautiously to see that everyone is eating, and promptly dunks his head in the soup and starts slurping.

I don't know why my DM thought this was so funny, but it got me bonus XP, so who am I to argue?

Ravyn
2008-11-17, 09:08 PM
This one's from an Exalted game--specifically, one in which we were playing members of the Wyld Hunt.

So there we are. Massively underslept, all rather irritable, one of our Fires just botched a Stealth roll, fell into a mine cart and got separated from the rest of us, and just when we find him there's this idiot Anathema with a stupid name--I mean, come on, who goes by "Seven Steel Viper"?--and a rather unreasonable grudge against the other Fire, taking potshots at him. And this is before my Air was really much good in a fight. So what's a girl to do? Let everyone else handle the fighting, and get him angry enough that he messes up.

It started with getting his name wrong. He was very proud of it, after all, and a few iterations of "Five Cardboard Gartersnake, was it?", only substituting in different materials, numbers and harmless snakes, seemed to really tick him off. Until finally, I had a chance to attack him and finished, "I know! We'll call you Half Dozen Pincushion!" as I peppered him with six chakram. He kept the name for quite a while.

And meanwhile, his minions have finally figured out what's going on and are getting ready to intervene. Keeping them off our backs? This is what I'm for. So as they pound on the door, I call back, "Don't come in! We're... entertaining his Radiance! It'd be too embarrassing!" He, of course, disagrees, so it turns into a whole sequence of the nitwit calling for help and me turning just about everything into a slightly insulting innuendo, culminating in, as he fled the scene of the battle, yelling after him, "And all this could've been avoided if someone had remembered his safeword!"

He ended up being a recurring villain, though after the first time, I'm surprised he had the guts to show his face anywhere near us.

horngeek
2008-11-17, 09:26 PM
As soon as everyone has a bowl, he approaches the cauldron, looks around cautiously to see that everyone is eating, and promptly dunks his head in the soup and starts slurping.


The reason that's so funny is probably the total social ineptness of the Orc in question.

Danin
2008-11-17, 09:36 PM
A while back I was playing a game of Pathfinder's beta and I was playing as a roving half orc barbarian by the name of "The Indomitable Kwan". He was quite proud of his half-orc ancestry. It was a random dungeon crawl and the first encounter is a ghost that possesses me. I end up killing the Rogue, but the creature is purged from my body and killed before I get to act. We take the body of the elf to the random druid that happens to have wandered through our camp, pay her 1000g to re-incarnate him because we don't have enough money for a raise dead and we don't want to loose a level. He comes back as a dwarf. A hairless dwarf.

I made fun of him quite a bit for this, for obvious reasons. Regardless, we go through a few more encounters and I'm getting quite upset because everything seems to die before I can act. Finally, while the others are examining a trapped idol I walk boldly into a room. I see a creature (That turns out to be a yuan-ti abomination) and boldly declare how I am going to destroy it.

DM: Roll a will save.
Me: ... I got a 4.

Well, one baleful polymorph later and I'm a tiny viper. I loose the second save to retain my mental faculties and I start wandering around aimlessly. The others come on and it casts a fear effect, sending two running. The now dwarf rogue gets into a long back and forth with the thing until it turns into a tiny viper and starts running away. As he chases it he shouts: "Kill the snake". Did not end well.

Both the Rogue and the two other players come back carrying their dead snakes in hand and once makes a Knowledge(Arcana) check to note the Yuan-ti's abilities. They take the bodies outside to the druid who is playing with our pony and have to guess which one to reincarnate. They succeed and I come back as...

"THE INDOMITABLE KWAN IS NOT A GNOME!", high, squeaky voice and all.

Then I look at my gold. 1050 pieces. I look at my dagger. I look at the druid. I look at the dagger.

My friends, guessing my intentions, remind me that I'll loose a level. I look at my character sheet. I look at the DM. I sigh.

I hand the druid 50g and tell her simply. "Wait here. Kwan shall pray for a quick death." Again, high squeaky voice et all.

I quite enjoyed that session, even if I was upset with becoming a gnome. I thought my prayers were answered when we encountered an ochyre jelly. I didn't want to damage my axe, so I handed it to the rogue and proceeded to grapple it and punch the thing to death thanks to some absurd rolls while being blasted with lightning from the sorcerer. The +2 con from being a gnome saved my life.

Cathaidan
2008-11-17, 09:38 PM
I was playing in a D&D 3.0 campaign with a True Necro. (I know, 3.0 True Necro blows hard, only idiots would want to play that class, blah, blah, blah. Talk to me once you've done it and lived.) The party leader, LG Master Samurai, finally decides that he's had enough of me and my trash talking vile evilness. So he spins around after my fifth or sixth complaint that we shouldn't be working for this guy who wants us to save the world, we should kill him, take his notes, use the notes to figure out how to not only save the world but reshape it to our own liking and live like kings. He (IC and OOC) looks me right in the eyes and says, "Why the hell are you working with us Dominic?" I smile at him and respond, "I want you to picture a grassy knoll. Perhaps on the edge of a forest, with a little pond near by. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the little frolicky woodland critters are frolicking. Maybe there's a happy little cottage there, with a soft wisp of smoke coming from the chimney. I mean, my undead legions need a home too."

It took the party rogue the rest of the night to stop rocking with laughter. And even after that if I mentioned woodland critters or a cottage she'd double over.