No emotional connections?

[13_CBS]

It's a bit strange: I don't miss things.

I don't miss my family, even though I rarely see them. In fact, I'd rather not see them at all, even though they've either treated me very kindly (in the case of my brother) or have sacrificed much to provide for me (in the case of my mother). I don't miss any of my high school friends though I haven't seem them in months, not even the person I consider to be closer than a sister and the best friend I've ever had. I don't miss my violin teacher, even though she was the greatest mentor I've ever had and her teachings have played a very large role in shaping who I am. I don't miss my old high school or my old home or really anything at all. I understand why my college classmates want to go back home so desperately, in the sense that I know that that's how you're supposed to feel, but if given the choice I would stay at my college dorm forever. Not because my dorm is particularly pleasant or fun, mind you, but simply because I have no desire to go back home, or see any of my old friends.

Is there something wrong with me? :smallconfused: I feel like I'm some sort of anomaly or an abnormal person because of the way I don't miss people. At all. :smallconfused: This isn't a cry for help or anything, I'm just...a bit confused. Frightened, even.

[Recaiden]

Do you feel like they'd still be there for you if you went to see them? You might not miss people much because you take them for granted a bit, or your just pretty independent. Do you feel different from how you did when you saw your friends more frequently? Maybe you're a different person than you used to be, and don't have the same connections that you used to. There are people who were really good friends of mine who I have no desire to see again. We just aren't the same as we used to be.

[Innis Cabal]

It's a bit strange: I don't miss things.

I don't miss my family, even though I rarely see them. In fact, I'd rather not see them at all, even though they've either treated me very kindly (in the case of my brother) or have sacrificed much to provide for me (in the case of my mother). I don't miss any of my high school friends though I haven't seem them in months, not even the person I consider to be closer than a sister and the best friend I've ever had. I don't miss my violin teacher, even though she was the greatest mentor I've ever had and her teachings have played a very large role in shaping who I am. I don't miss my old high school or my old home or really anything at all. I understand why my college classmates want to go back home so desperately, in the sense that I know that that's how you're supposed to feel, but if given the choice I would stay at my college dorm forever. Not because my dorm is particularly pleasant or fun, mind you, but simply because I have no desire to go back home, or see any of my old friends.

Is there something wrong with me? :smallconfused: I feel like I'm some sort of anomaly or an abnormal person because of the way I don't miss people. At all. :smallconfused: This isn't a cry for help or anything, I'm just...a bit confused. Frightened, even.


Don't be. Its a sign your an adult. The ability to move on without remorse or looking back is something few people have and more people should learn.

Honestly. You are an adult and you should be more pleased then you are scared.

[afroakuma]

It's a bit strange: I don't miss things.

I don't miss my family, even though I rarely see them. In fact, I'd rather not see them at all, even though they've either treated me very kindly (in the case of my brother) or have sacrificed much to provide for me (in the case of my mother). I don't miss any of my high school friends though I haven't seem them in months, not even the person I consider to be closer than a sister and the best friend I've ever had. I don't miss my violin teacher, even though she was the greatest mentor I've ever had and her teachings have played a very large role in shaping who I am. I don't miss my old high school or my old home or really anything at all. I understand why my college classmates want to go back home so desperately, in the sense that I know that that's how you're supposed to feel, but if given the choice I would stay at my college dorm forever. Not because my dorm is particularly pleasant or fun, mind you, but simply because I have no desire to go back home, or see any of my old friends.

Is there something wrong with me? :smallconfused: I feel like I'm some sort of anomaly or an abnormal person because of the way I don't miss people. At all. :smallconfused: This isn't a cry for help or anything, I'm just...a bit confused. Frightened, even.

Agreed with Innis. I'm the same way. I left my hometown three years ago and went back all of once, two months in, for them to finish a root canal. I haven't looked back and ignore everyone from there on Facebook. I also avoid my family; I see my mother's side once, maybe twice a year. Heck, I haven't seen my best friend in two months and don't miss her.

You get sidetracked. You get caught up. You grow up. It's a good thing. Family will re-integrate into your life eventually, when it becomes a need for you once again.

[Innis Cabal]

And if it dosn't then you make new ones.

I myself have lived out of "Home" since middle school, the day I graduated from college and moved fully out was a great day.

Looking back and holding feelings and regrets will lead you to a worse road then the one you think your on.

[Pyrian]

You don't miss your family from whom you're hiding your (lack of) religion? You don't miss your family who ostracized your brother for marrying a different ethnicity? ...I wouldn't worry about it. Personally, I don't think lack-of-emotion is really a problem unless it's accompanying destructive behavior.

[Mando Knight]

Is there something wrong with me? :smallconfused: I feel like I'm some sort of anomaly or an abnormal person because of the way I don't miss people. At all. :smallconfused: This isn't a cry for help or anything, I'm just...a bit confused. Frightened, even.

I don't know... I'm often the same way... although my family isn't quite as defensive of their religious/ethnic/whatever status quo (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/StatusQuoIsGod) as yours... or at least, none of my family members have really tested the boundaries yet...


Somehow, I didn't feel anything (emotionally) when I heard that my maternal grandmother died...

[UncleWolf]

Somehow, I didn't feel anything (emotionally) when I heard that my maternal grandmother died...

It used to be that I was affected a lot when it came to death, but now, my only reaction is "well, that really sucks".

[Vagnarok]

Don't be. Its a sign your an adult. The ability to move on without remorse or looking back is something few people have and more people should learn.

Honestly. You are an adult and you should be more pleased then you are scared.

Agreed with Innis. I'm the same way. I left my hometown three years ago and went back all of once, two months in, for them to finish a root canal. I haven't looked back and ignore everyone from there on Facebook. I also avoid my family; I see my mother's side once, maybe twice a year. Heck, I haven't seen my best friend in two months and don't miss her.

You get sidetracked. You get caught up. You grow up. It's a good thing. Family will re-integrate into your life eventually, when it becomes a need for you once again.

Take these bits of advice with a grain of salt. While they are mostly great imo, I disagree with the notion that not missing your family signifies your adulthood. The ability to move on and not look back is just fine, but in my opinion, for your situation it would be rather immature.

You can feel free to not miss your friends and never talk to them again, but to do so to your parents is cruel. Despite your past problems with them, you owe it to them to keep them in your life, even if it's just a little bit right now. For the amount of their time and money that your parents gave to you, you at least owe it to them to call them every so often (email if that's too difficult). Even if you don't miss them, they miss you. You were their entire lives.

While you might not be a full adult yet, you are experiencing a part of growing up that nearly everyone goes through. Just give it awhile. In the future, when you have kids, you'll be glad that you didn't cut your parents out of your life, and so will they.

[Firestar27]

Don't be. Its a sign your an adult. The ability to move on without remorse or looking back is something few people have and more people should learn.

Honestly. You are an adult and you should be more pleased then you are scared.

Excuse me? Being an adult has nothing to do with being sentimental. In fact, as you get older, you should become attached to even more memories. Having an emotional connection to people and objects is great. (Although it does lead to issues when I want to clean up old stuff, because I associate a fond memory with nearly everything.)

[Lemur]

You know, I'm glad you made this thread, because a lot of that sounds familiar to me. I also was bothered from time to time that something was wrong about me, but it's nice to read about others being the same way.

[WoWganker]

"You can't maintain your relationships? Don't worry, it means you're becoming an adult!"

You guys should stop to think about the advice you are giving the OP. Telling him being a shut in is perfectly healthy may not be the best thing for his, uh, health.

[Dallas-Dakota]

It's a bit strange: I don't miss things.

I don't miss my family, even though I rarely see them. In fact, I'd rather not see them at all, even though they've either treated me very kindly (in the case of my brother) or have sacrificed much to provide for me (in the case of my mother). I don't miss any of my high school friends though I haven't seem them in months, not even the person I consider to be closer than a sister and the best friend I've ever had. I don't miss my violin teacher, even though she was the greatest mentor I've ever had and her teachings have played a very large role in shaping who I am. I don't miss my old high school or my old home or really anything at all. I understand why my college classmates want to go back home so desperately, in the sense that I know that that's how you're supposed to feel, but if given the choice I would stay at my college dorm forever. Not because my dorm is particularly pleasant or fun, mind you, but simply because I have no desire to go back home, or see any of my old friends.

Is there something wrong with me? :smallconfused: I feel like I'm some sort of anomaly or an abnormal person because of the way I don't miss people. At all. :smallconfused: This isn't a cry for help or anything, I'm just...a bit confused. Frightened, even.
Very simple : You moved on with life. You enjoyed what you had, and now you moved on.

It's possible...

[Totally Guy]

I find that when I move away from people I don't tend to miss them a lot. Moving is a planned event after all and I think I mentally prepare beforehand.

It's when others move away from me I have a definite missing feeling.

[Innis Cabal]

Excuse me? Being an adult has nothing to do with being sentimental. In fact, as you get older, you should become attached to even more memories. Having an emotional connection to people and objects is great. (Although it does lead to issues when I want to clean up old stuff, because I associate a fond memory with nearly everything.)

No ones said that having -no- emotinal connects means your an adult. We've said the ability to not get hung up on the ones you've lost does.


You can't maintain your relationships? Don't worry, it means you're becoming an adult!"

You guys should stop to think about the advice you are giving the OP. Telling him being a shut in is perfectly healthy may not be the best thing for his, uh, health.

No one's said anything like that. No ones told him to be a shut in. We've just assured him its normal not to feel anything about things you've outgrown



You can feel free to not miss your friends and never talk to them again, but to do so to your parents is cruel. Despite your past problems with them, you owe it to them to keep them in your life, even if it's just a little bit right now. For the amount of their time and money that your parents gave to you, you at least owe it to them to call them every so often (email if that's too difficult). Even if you don't miss them, they miss you. You were their entire lives.

Thats nice and all, but it dosn't work for everyone for one. Secondly...maybe they don't miss you either. Don't use broad statements to counter advice from people who've been in the same spot :smallwink: