Batman Versus Elan

[Tokeloshe]

Discuss.

[Altair_the_Vexed]

Batman and Elan have no need to fight each other.

[KayJay]

Discuss.
... you first? There really needs to be a minimum of effort needed in these vs threads :/

[Tokeloshe]

Altair

That's easy enough to explain:

Upon noting his lack of funds, Nale decides to rob Gotham City's largest bank, and with the aid of his magic manages to get away just before Elan arrives with his share of the treasure he has just recently gained from completing the campaign detailed in OotS.

Batman, due to his lack of a sense of humour, has not read OotS, and therefore views Elan's juggling bags of gold as more or less being clear evidence of Elan being the bank robber. The fact that a puppet with a banjo was left at the crime scene is entirely incidental.

[Tokeloshe]

Okay, here it goes, using the scenario I provided:

Batman finds Elan busy partying on the wrong side of town and having a great time. Due to the powers exibhited by Elan's brother, Batman decides to take the stealthy approach and try to knock Elan out before he can cast any spells, but Elan's luck is such that Batman misses.

Elan then starts singing the original Batman theme from the 60's. Batman's secret weakness is exposed, as he just can't seem to stop... dancing really terribly.

Faced with this dire predicament, Batman manages to throw a batarang that knocks Elan's instrument out of his hands. Elan, scolds batman for being a very bad man and starts playing the Batman theme on his kazoo. Batman's head explodes.

Winner: Elan.

[Dark_Stalion]

The bard is mightier than the bat.

[Alfryd]

Elan would whoop his ass, as any event sufficiently bizarre to entail their encounter would also dictate Elan's victory through sheer unlikelihood.

[KayJay]

Batman moves first and attacks, rolls a critical 1 and fumbles. The batarang explodes in his hand and elan wins through flukey D&D house rules.

[Holy_Knight]

Everyone knows this would result in a team up.

Elan: "Hey, it's perfect! I have lots of experience as a herald to a Knight!"

-later-

"Detet, detect, detect, detect the perpetrator of the crime!"

"Scare, scare, scare, scare, the petty criminal!"

"Devise, devise, devise, devise, a cunning plan!"

"Defeat, defeat, defeat, defeat, the being who's ridiculously more powerful than you are!"

etc. etc.

[McHarty]

Batman looses...

It's simple, Batman tries to outwit the vilains plus he uses force and agility to beat them up, once he figured their plans.

But he never faced such a foe as Elan. His mind seems so blank that he must be hinding an intelligence score greater that whatever he knows. And if he(Elan) always answer so directly to any question he's(Elan) been asked, this surely means that he(Elan) knows what Batman knows and he(Elan) is countering his(Batman's) plans...

So Batman ends up in a loop of thinking and dies of a sever meningitis or some neural damage...

Elan is just not aware of anything...
The innocent is blessed.

[TreesOfDeath]

Elan uses his bardiac music to parazlyze Batman and make him do those dances from the 60's verison cause the music is that dam catchy. Winner: Elan

[Gnorosch]

By trying to outwit Elan, Batman loses all his sanity points and end up as a gibbering madman in Gotham Asylum. Some reader will afterwards point out that D&D actually do not use sanity points, which will then be solved by using madness checks from Ravenloft.

[Haggis_McCrablice]

You forget: Batman has handled puppets before-- Arnold Wesker, aka the Ventriloquist, and Scarface. All he'd have to do is destroy Banjo in some dramatic, violent manner, and shatter Elan's already questionable mind.

Or maybe he'd diagnose Elan's condition and mix together a cocktail of ritalin and lithium, in a handy patch to wear on the back of his neck (like he did for The Creeper).

[Dawnstrider_Moogle]

It occurs to me that Batman vs. Elan is like Batman vs. Joker - Joker's thinking process is just so bizarrely different than anyone else's that figuring out his next move is almost beyond Batman's rational processes. So would it be with Elan.

[CelestialStick]

Okay, here it goes, using the scenario I provided:

Batman finds Elan busy partying on the wrong side of town and having a great time. Due to the powers exibhited by Elan's brother, Batman decides to take the stealthy approach and try to knock Elan out before he can cast any spells, but Elan's luck is such that Batman misses.

Elan then starts singing the original Batman theme from the 60's. Batman's secret weakness is exposed, as he just can't seem to stop... dancing really terribly.

Faced with this dire predicament, Batman manages to throw a batarang that knocks Elan's instrument out of his hands. Elan, scolds batman for being a very bad man and starts playing the Batman theme on his kazoo. Batman's head explodes.

Winner: Elan.
ROFL!


Everyone knows this would result in a team up.

Elan: "Hey, it's perfect! I have lots of experience as a herald to a Knight!"

-later-

"Detet, detect, detect, detect the perpetrator of the crime!"

"Scare, scare, scare, scare, the petty criminal!"

"Devise, devise, devise, devise, a cunning plan!"

"Defeat, defeat, defeat, defeat, the being who's ridiculously more powerful than you are!"

etc. etc.

ROFLMAO! I especially liked the final one.

Don't forget also

Hide, hide, hide the obvious secret identity as Bruce Wayne!

[DOOM2099]

Prep, prep, prep, prep for battle against your enemies

Hype, hype,hype, hype the character beyond all belief

[CelestialStick]

Prep, prep, prep, prep for battle against your enemies

Hype, hype,hype, hype the character beyond all belief
LOL. Now who would do that with Batman? :D

[Corolinth]

Supreme intelligence and ingenuity matched up against an intelligence so dim-witted it warps the cosmos.

[Krytha]

Elan wins. Just by talking, he is capable of warping batman's brain.

[Ulicus]

Batman vs Elan

Result:

With preparation time, Batman just confuses himself. Elan wins.

Mainly because he asks the DM what Batman is doing in OotS:

"Shouldn't Batman be in our Superhero rpg?"

"poof!"

No more Batman.

[ElfLad]

Elan, as a bard, does the impossible. He seduces the new lesbian Batwoman. and Catwoman. and Poison Ivy.

Batman is obviously no match for him.

[Gamefreakguy]

"Dodge dodge dodge, dodge the fast-flying baterang-" *slice*

Lol, jk. I agree, as said before, Batman is supremely outwitted. Or so under-witted in intelligence scores that it goes through negative up to infinity.

[CelestialStick]

Elan, as a bard, does the impossible. He seduces the new lesbian Batwoman. and Catwoman. and Poison Ivy.

Batman is obviously no match for him.
LOL. And Batgirls I and II. :D

[rothion]

elan would totally win because shes so much better.

[bluish_wolf]

elan would totally win because shes so much better.

Since when was Elan's gender in question?

[fwiffo]

Since when was Elan's gender in question?

Since #9 (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=9).:)

[TorJin]

I think the conflict would result in the entrance of a second boy wonder:

Enter Chickadee, also known as the mild-mannered and dim-witted Elan.

[HabbakukUnknown]

Since #9 (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=9).:)


that made me chuckle, so it did. as did


The bard is mightier than the bat.

[TurboNewb]

But Batman would recognize that Elan is really dumb, and would come up with the plan to just kick his ass with no preparation time. "Elan is so dumb he wins" is NOT a valid argument people. Morons.

[Zzarchov]

WHICH batman?

If its Adam West then I'd say..maybe.. But George Clooney admits he played batman as a gay superhero..and Elan is very attractive apparently, but since he's not stealing adam wests water, he would be safe, while clooney batman would fall prey.

[CelestialStick]

WHICH batman?

If its Adam West then I'd say..maybe.. But George Clooney admits he played batman as a gay superhero..and Elan is very attractive apparently, but since he's not stealing adam wests water, he would be safe, while clooney batman would fall prey.
Actually, Adam West's Batman was pretty gay too, back before that was acceptable on tv. So now adays that Batman too would probably succumb to Elan's charms. ;D