An Aperture Science Internet-based Trademark Altercation

[Arioch]

I downloaded Portal on Sunday and finished on Monday. I loved it - I thought it was an effective combination of puzzles and humour. I've never played any of the Half-Life games, so what I know about the setting i've learned from my friends. One thing we've noticed is GLaDOS's habit of trademarking every possible thing. Examples include

The Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube (its just a cube!)
The Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold (a moving platform)

Noting this trend, we came up with some of our own:

The Aperture Science Horizontal Ambulatory Surface (the floor)
The Aperture Science Vertical Ceiling Aid (the walls)
The Aperture Science Internal-Combustion Locomotion Vehicle
The Aperture Sceince Photosynthetic Wood-Producing Life-Form (tree)
The Aperture Science Magnetically-Guided Avian Message and Pathogen Transport (pidgeon)

I'd be interested to see what others you guys can come up with.

[D+1]

Aperature Science Circumference Of Throat device - A.S.C.O.T
Aperature Science Vitrious Substance Transferrence and Transitory Containment Unit - drinking glass
Aperature Science Vitrious Substance Transferrence and Non-Transitory Containment Unit - bottle

[....]

The Apeture Science Occular Reception Enhancment Device (glasses)
The Apeture Science Angled Plane Upward Mobility Assistance Area (stairs)
The Apeture Science Chemically Stored Light Refraction and Coloration Record (photo)

[Lord_Asmodeus]

The Aperture Science Test Subject Containment Facility (house/apartment)

think of more later

[jmaccabeus]

The Aperture Science Distance Measuring Tool (ruler)
The Aperture Science Graphite Writing Utensil (pencil)
The Aperture Science Electromagnetic Wave Reciever and Sonic Decoder (radio)
The Aperture Science Electromagnetic Wave Reciever and Visual Decoder (TV)
The Aperture Science Ink-based Information Storage Unit (book)
The Aperture Science Oxygen Intake and Carbon Dioxide Expulsion System (lung)

[Revlid]

The Aperture Science Direct-to-Cerebral Receptor Visual Sensors (eyes)

[Illiterate Scribe]

Aperture Science welcomes you to a personal test of the Aperture Science testing unit for the advancement and testingof science. - A human.

[Eerie]

The Aperture Science Spermatozoon Insertion Tool (penis)

[Darken Rahl]

Aperture Science Anatomically Incorrect Story Based Humor Inducer (OOtS)

[Hermit]

Aperture Science High Capacity Rapid Transportation Module (Train)
Aperture Science Pressurised Liquid Delivery System (Drinking Fountain)
Aperture Science Portable Rapid Oxidation Unit (Lighter)

[Bayar]

Aperture Science Biological Waste Intake (a toilet)