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View Full Version : Spongebob vs. Cthulhu


InaVegt
05-26-2008, 09:21 AM
Cthulhu has been awakened, close to bikini bottom. In an effort to save the world, Spongebob takes Cthulhu on. Assume, for the purpose of discussion, that Cthulhu is fully awake, and Spongebob has access to every gadget he ever had access to in the series.

Saithis Bladewing
05-26-2008, 09:23 AM
I predict Spongebob's shining enthusiasm will win over the big C.

"F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all HEY down in the deep blue seaaaaaaa!

"Now you try it Mr. Cthulu!"

"F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium BOMB! N is for no survivooooooors!"

"No no no, that's not it at all! Try it again! F is for friends..."

sikyon
05-26-2008, 03:48 PM
You seem to be implying they are separate entities.

thubby
05-26-2008, 04:09 PM
You seem to be implying they are separate entities.

/thread

spongebob would clearly drive cthulu insane. clearly :smallmad:

Innis Cabal
05-26-2008, 05:04 PM
Hasselhof wins, end of story

Xuincherguixe
05-26-2008, 05:10 PM
SpongeBob. What can Cthulhu do, drive people insane? SpongeBob can do that!

And, he knows Karate.

Dragonprime
05-26-2008, 05:20 PM
I'm going to take this seriously, and say that Cthulhu wins without any trouble. This is like setting up a caveman armed with a pointy stick against Yoda.

EvilDMMk3
05-26-2008, 05:34 PM
Spongebob befrends him and 6 months down the line ol' squid features is working as a fry chef at the Krusty Krab.

Pro-tip, never eat fast food prepared by an ancient one.

All of bikini bottom, followed soon by the world as the franchise grows, become a new and terrible form of elderspawn. Squidchops gets what he wanted, and Spongebob make a friend, all in all a sort of draw.

freerangetroll
05-26-2008, 05:43 PM
Interesting. Only Chibi Cthulu could really take spongebob on.

Jayngfet
05-26-2008, 05:43 PM
Spongebob would own Cthulhu in a fair fight, remember...]


...Without his protective gloves, spongeob's been shown cutting through huge boulders like warm butter.

FoE
05-26-2008, 05:43 PM
Spongebob isn't Cthulhu. That's Pikachu. (http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/kovalic/pokethulhu)

hanzo66
05-26-2008, 05:52 PM
Spongebob, because he's

RRRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

LBO
05-26-2008, 06:38 PM
Cthulhu: Resides beneath some benighted ocean. Maybe.
Spongebob: Lives in a pineapple under the sea.

Cthulhu: Drives people utterly insane.
Spongebob: Drives people utterly insane.

Cthulhu: Foul monstrosity birthed from the minds of demented men, his very name a synonym for depraved evil and immense horror.
Spongebob: Ditto.

I really don't see why they'd fight. They should be best buddies.

Steven the Lich
05-26-2008, 06:45 PM
Spongebob cannot win. Many would say he was already insane, but this is not so. Remember in the episode when he lacks sleep? Hallucinations of Krabby Patties everywhere. If that isn't insanity, I don't know what is. Cthulhu will exploit that weakness, and bingo, we have a winner. Cthulhu could always just eat Spongebob up. This concludes my serious views.
*Suddenly, Cthulhu turns into a cartoon*
...Now for my humerous views.
Spongebob wins. Thats it. Too cartoonish to fail, and too funny not to win. Cthulhu would be limited in the cartoon world since... well, its a kids show. Spongebob would

I think the argument that will rage on will be enough to drive Cthulhu insane.

Xuincherguixe
05-26-2008, 06:48 PM
I think everyone realizes SpongeBob doesn't really have a chance, but it's just too funny for him not to win.

Illiterate Scribe
05-26-2008, 06:49 PM
They merge.

Spengbab is born.

http://4chanarchive.org/images/16817606/1165358740357.png

LBO
05-26-2008, 06:50 PM
Just as planned.

Xuincherguixe
05-26-2008, 06:53 PM
... I've just found my new god.

Ia! Ia! Spengbab!

Illiterate Scribe
05-26-2008, 07:02 PM
... I've just found my new god.

Ia! Ia! Spengbab!

You will be among the first to die.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/1232/1165359374906dz7.jpg

Raider
05-26-2008, 07:03 PM
Spongebob has gained billions of fanatic supporters. Nothing could possibly overturn his legion. No one can stop a Spongebob cultist........no one.

Cthulu is basically a snack for David Hasselhoff though

Xuincherguixe
05-26-2008, 07:08 PM
You will be among the first to die.


This thought gives me indescribable joy, but is too good to be true.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
05-26-2008, 09:08 PM
Well, Cthulhu is a large, insanity-bearing monstrosity designed primarily to decimate human-sized humans and withstand human-type weaponry. Much like the Death Star, this leaves him open to a tiny assault.

Spongebob, being smaller than the ordinary Hasselhoffian toe, just might be able to make it through a seam in the aura of insanity. Once through, he could make a mad dash through through this trench in Cthulhu's skin, heading for heading for that ventilation port, or perhaps his ear.

From that point, if he went for the *cough* ventilation port, he could jam Patrick into said port, and, his imprtant gases no escaping, Cthulhu would explode. If he went for the ear, Spongebob could set up camp. Beseiged by the things Spongebob says and does noisily, Cthulhu would be driven insane and likely kill himself.

I am clearly assuming that both Patrick and Spongebob are too small for the Big Squid to easily grab/remove/physically manipulate. If Spongebob succumbs to Cthulhu's insanity-causing abilities after reachin the ear, all the easier.