Is the "Sample encounter" part of the PrC mandatory?
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Is the "Sample encounter" part of the PrC mandatory?
Alright, thanks DIT.
And the Procrastinator is up.
Ironically, I've nerver create a Prc so fast before. :smalltongue:
If someone is willing to peach my clas I'll peach yours.
Hrrrrrrrrm. Maybe later. :smalltongue:
Naw, but srsly, i'll have a go.
Looking at it straight away, the Special requirement is a bit iffy. I'm pretty sure you mean these conditions, but you might want to make it clearer.
Next, I'll do that later, while not that complicated, looks a bit foreboding. You'll need some spaces in the paragraph somewhere.
You don't need that yet needs to say what happens after it's used and the target moves father than 30ft away, because I'm reading that the effect stops being delayed if the target moves away.
Take it easy is........quite strong. Very strong, in fact. Maybe shuffle it up a bit higher in the level acquisition. Maybe scale out how long it lasts. Maybe I'm overreacting.
Not so fast seems a bit wierd with the %'s. Maybe just state "You lose X amount of attacks in a full attack"? Also, is the Note: part saying the creature can make a single melee attack as a standard action, even under this effect?
I don't see a save on Wait a little. I'm guessing you forgot that. Likewise, no save on Not so soon?
Just a little longer seems weird, considering it doesn't have any spells of its own, unless it works on it's own supernatural abilities, but then you really should define "magical effect" a bit better.
You'll do that later looks ok.
I forgot about that is essentially a "Hell Naw" button, which is always a nice capstone, so well done with that. Nothing to say there.
In conclusion, the class looks very good, but does need one or two clarifications. Other than that, great stuff.
As much as I should be doing my own PrC, I'll go ahead and give it a crack!
Spoiler
Fluff seems nice. I always shriek a little at seeing classes that "give benefits" to spellcasters without actually giving casting, though.
The "See do that later" should probably go to a side bar, since I noticed you mention what these "effects" are in the first class feature. For language just change it to "See the following sidebar for what counts as a 'harmful effect.'"
Other than that, entry requirements are easy. For noncasters, the easiest entry requirements are probably Factotum. Martial Adepts could also sneak in as could anyone who throws a feat to a Diamond Mind maneuver.
Class list and skill points per level fit. As you require Knowledge (The Planes) to enter, it really should be a class skill. Having requirement X not being a class skill really, really bugs me.
Hit dice, BAB, and saves seem appropriate. Lack of no new proficiencies are neither here nor there.
As an aside, from an editing perspective, this needs some more spaces in it. Maybe also a sidebar, but whatever. There's a lot there, as far as rules text goes, so it makes it somewhat hard to read. You also have some languages issues with plurals. If ya want, send me a PM and I could hunt those down for ya!:smallwink: (I seem to recall you saying you're a non-native speaker.)
First level portion of it is rather minor, but not bad. It's the meat of the class and pseudo-DR as a class feature is rather nice. Maybe also allow "healing" spells to be delayed, too, if you delayed damage - or at least mention what happens with that interaction as with the Crusader's Delayed Damage Pool.
Third level portion is nice. Because of the long list, I think it should be in a sidebar, but that's just me.
Fifth level looks a little odd at first because it seems contradictory without looking down to 7th level. Not sure how you could clean up the wording to make it "flow," but this is otherwise a nice feature.
Seventh level looks a bit light, as a lot of "magical effects" include ability damage (that and - by all other sources - (SU) abilities are "magical"). I understand wanting to delay ability damage as its own thing separate from 5th level, however. I just personally feel it should be thrown in with the 5th level ability, but by 10th level (at its earliest), I want to delay ability damage rather than waiting till 12th level when I could have been facing shadows since level 3. The fact that this is the only class feature at level 7 also just sort of "irks" me, so take that into consideration.
Ninth level is a nice growth from the rest of the ability. It still doesn't stop (most) maneuvers nor does it prevent other, nondamage (EX) abilities.
If I were to do this, I'd merge the 5th and 7th level abilities, make the 9th the 7th level ability and come up with a new "No, wait guys!" capstone for "I'll do that later!"
I like this! It competes with using the same action as "I'll do that later!" which is bad, but the system doesn't really handle multiple swift/immediate actions per turn.
I love this class feature. It reminds me of Spate's old "Clerics of the mundane" and its large "NO!" to all sorts of weird voodoos. Most casters may do well against the Will Save just due to 7 levels of good will save. Same goes to monsters with good will saves, but hot dang! I love the idea of this ability turning everyone's tricks into pseudo-breath weapons.
I like this. The table is super useful, even if it is a lot to read (again, "time" does that to things). Overall, a nice way to punish "mundanes" like the casters in the same way that "Take it easy" does. I do not envy you for having to make the table, though. The note also helps, since it seems the idea isn't to out-and-out say "no" to basic attacks, but rather just to limit them to one (given the base fighter example). Using percentages does that well.
I love this! It's a lot like "White Raven Tactics" reversed. The language needs some work, as it is initially confusing, but, I do love the idea about it. Reading everything up until this point makes the class feel like an odd, non-caster debuffer. The fact that it screws with the "rocket tag" feel of higher level DND helps, in my opinion, too!:smallbiggrin:
Another solid class feature. It's an odd sort of "enabler" ability, but not bad. You still have the "see do that later" in there, as a hold over, but otherwise, nice!
You need to clean up the wording some what, but, overall, I like the idea of extending some buff spells and the like by this ability by just a little more. Rather useful, honestly, as it can act like 1/4 of an extend spell up to three times per day.
Love this! It feels "late," but it is incredibly powerful. It needs an action listing, as it seems a bit ambiguous. My gut says it is a non-action and happens with along with I'll do that later, which is fine. The fact that it says "you must still be effected" bugs me, as it means a Procrastinator can't use it to "dispel" some sort of buff, but I think that may be intentional, simply due to being able to stop all sorts of debuffs itself is rather, well, powerful.
I like this! Once per encounter, X doesn't happen. Really good capstone, really appropriate, too!
Overall, this very much feels like "Madfoam Rager: the Class!" And I like that.:smallbiggrin:
I feel like I'm going to tell a lot of people in my PEACHes to "cut down on words," because, let's not kid ourselves, time is a bitch to think about in the context of a game. And so help me god if I see more than one "re-wind a round" abilities in a single class. On paper, they are a cute idea, but, as far as actual gaming goes, they can be nigh-impossible to actually run.:smallfurious:
The list of condition is indicated in the description of the I'll do that later ability. I'll add a spoiler with the list to make thing clearer.
Good point.Quote:
Next, I'll do that later, while not that complicated, looks a bit foreboding. You'll need some spaces in the paragraph somewhere.
I didn't think of that interpretation i'll change the wording.Quote:
You don't need that yet needs to say what happens after it's used and the target moves father than 30ft away, because I'm reading that the effect stops being delayed if the target moves away.
It doesn't seem that strong to me for two reason first it's a Will save and spellcaster generally have very good will save and second you need to choose careffuly, it's not always obvious which creature can cast spell.Quote:
Take it easy is........quite strong. Very strong, in fact. Maybe shuffle it up a bit higher in the level acquisition. Maybe scale out how long it lasts. Maybe I'm overreacting.
My first instinct was straith number of attack (1,2,3) but I realise that monster with lot of attack would less affected so I decided to go with a percentage.Quote:
Not so fast seems a bit wierd with the %'s. Maybe just state "You lose X amount of attacks in a full attack"? Also, is the Note: part saying the creature can make a single melee attack as a standard action, even under this effect?
I did forgot the save for the first save but there none for not so soon because you target the effect itself not the creature. (well it's the logic anyway) Do you think it really need a save ?Quote:
I don't see a save on Wait a little. I'm guessing you forgot that. Likewise, no save on Not so soon?
magical effect are defined in the I'll do that later desription.Quote:
Just a little longer seems weird, considering it doesn't have any spells of its own, unless it works on it's own supernatural abilities, but then you really should define "magical effect" a bit better.
Thank you very much for the peach it's appreciate. here's one for your class:Quote:
You'll do that later looks ok.
I forgot about that is essentially a "Hell Naw" button, which is always a nice capstone, so well done with that. Nothing to say there.
In conclusion, the class looks very good, but does need one or two clarifications. Other than that, great stuff.
Requirement: Seem fine.
Skills: might want to add concentration so they can avoid Aoo and spellcraft so they can recognize spells.
Spells: A barbarian class that grant spell his original I admit. You have a few pronoun problem switching betwen they and you in the middle of a phrase.
I like the spell list very thematic.
As written a timebreaker cannot cast stiil spells in rage. Is that intentional ?
Lightning Fast Fury: Nice simple boost.
Steal the Years: Very cool ability. A straight debuff.
Speedy Steps: Okay.
Timecrush Rebuke: I like this one. you may just need to specify the target of the Aoo because as written they can use on any creature within reach.
Step through Time: You need to state what action is need to activate it. It default as a standard action but it may better as an immediate or swift action. Also can you use while raging ?
Lightning Speed: Very cool ability that.
Timebreaker Strike: Awesome ability. very fitting as a capstone.
Conclusions: a very cool class that just need a little polishing. The first few abilities seem a little weak but you do get spellcasting so it compensate.
Edit: Ninjad by Thrice Dead cat, response:
pm me when it's done I'll peach it.
That's on purpose, with spellcasting it would be too powerful and I like the idea of a class that can either help or hinder caster.Quote:
Fluff seems nice. I always shriek a little at seeing classes that "give benefits" to spellcasters without actually giving casting, though.
Done.Quote:
The "See do that later" should probably go to a side bar, since I noticed you mention what these "effects" are in the first class feature. For language just change it to "See the following sidebar for what counts as a 'harmful effect.'"
:smallredface: I add Knowledge (the planes) at the last minute and just forgot to add it to the skill list.Quote:
Other than that, entry requirements are easy. For noncasters, the easiest entry requirements are probably Factotum. Martial Adepts could also sneak in as could anyone who throws a feat to a Diamond Mind maneuver.
Class list and skill points per level fit. As you require Knowledge (The Planes) to enter, it really should be a class skill. Having requirement X not being a class skill really, really bugs me.
done.Quote:
As an aside, from an editing perspective, this needs some more spaces in it. Maybe also a sidebar, but whatever. There's a lot there, as far as rules text goes, so it makes it somewhat hard to read.
I would be gratfull thanks, I'll send it soon.Quote:
You also have some languages issues with plurals. If ya want, send me a PM and I could hunt those down for ya!:smallwink: (I seem to recall you saying you're a non-native speaker.)
You can use "You don't need that yet" on yourself so it's covered. I'll think about the healing delayed damage issue. I'm conflict about that, fluff wise I'm not sure it fit.Quote:
First level portion of it is rather minor, but not bad. It's the meat of the class and pseudo-DR as a class feature is rather nice. Maybe also allow "healing" spells to be delayed, too, if you delayed damage - or at least mention what happens with that interaction as with the Crusader's Delayed Damage Pool.
Done.Quote:
Third level portion is nice. Because of the long list, I think it should be in a sidebar, but that's just me.
I'm not clear on what you mean about contradictory.Quote:
Fifth level looks a little odd at first because it seems contradictory without looking down to 7th level. Not sure how you could clean up the wording to make it "flow," but this is otherwise a nice feature.
i understand but the problem is coming up with a new finish for "I'll do that later"Quote:
Seventh level looks a bit light, as a lot of "magical effects" include ability damage (that and - by all other sources - (SU) abilities are "magical"). I understand wanting to delay ability damage as its own thing separate from 5th level, however. I just personally feel it should be thrown in with the 5th level ability, but by 10th level (at its earliest), I want to delay ability damage rather than waiting till 12th level when I could have been facing shadows since level 3. The fact that this is the only class feature at level 7 also just sort of "irks" me, so take that into consideration.
Ninth level is a nice growth from the rest of the ability. It still doesn't stop (most) maneuvers nor does it prevent other, nondamage (EX) abilities.
If I were to do this, I'd merge the 5th and 7th level abilities, make the 9th the 7th level ability and come up with a new "No, wait guys!" capstone for "I'll do that later!"
Plus fluf-wise i'm not sure how to combine delaying magical effect and ability damage.
No choice there, yes. But it does mean that you need choose betwen preventing healing an enemy or preventing effect on yourself. It's a tactical choice.Quote:
I like this! It competes with using the same action as "I'll do that later!" which is bad, but the system doesn't really handle multiple swift/immediate actions per turn.
Glad you like it.Quote:
I love this class feature. It reminds me of Spate's old "Clerics of the mundane" and its large "NO!" to all sorts of weird voodoos. Most casters may do well against the Will Save just due to 7 levels of good will save. Same goes to monsters with good will saves, but hot dang! I love the idea of this ability turning everyone's tricks into pseudo-breath weapons.
:smallsmile:Quote:
I like this. The table is super useful, even if it is a lot to read (again, "time" does that to things). Overall, a nice way to punish "mundanes" like the casters in the same way that "Take it easy" does. I do not envy you for having to make the table, though. The note also helps, since it seems the idea isn't to out-and-out say "no" to basic attacks, but rather just to limit them to one (given the base fighter example). Using percentages does that well.
How would you word it to make it less confusing ? I had a hard time with it.Quote:
I love this! It's a lot like "White Raven Tactics" reversed. The language needs some work, as it is initially confusing, but, I do love the idea about it. Reading everything up until this point makes the class feel like an odd, non-caster debuffer. The fact that it screws with the "rocket tag" feel of higher level DND helps, in my opinion, too!:smallbiggrin:
Geckoking suggest a save for that do you think it's need ?
I'm not sure how I can clean up the wording even more. As you said calss feature base on time need detail.Quote:
Another solid class feature. It's an odd sort of "enabler" ability, but not bad. You still have the "see do that later" in there, as a hold over, but otherwise, nice!
You need to clean up the wording some what, but, overall, I like the idea of extending some buff spells and the like by this ability by just a little more. Rather useful, honestly, as it can act like 1/4 of an extend spell up to three times per day.
I'll precise the action. It's only the delay magical area effect that need the procrastinator to be among the target otherwise it can be use on any effect. I'll try to work on the wording.Quote:
Love this! It feels "late," but it is incredibly powerful. It needs an action listing, as it seems a bit ambiguous. My gut says it is a non-action and happens with along with I'll do that later, which is fine. The fact that it says "you must still be effected" bugs me, as it means a Procrastinator can't use it to "dispel" some sort of buff, but I think that may be intentional, simply due to being able to stop all sorts of debuffs itself is rather, well, powerful.
Thnaks.Quote:
I like this! Once per encounter, X doesn't happen. Really good capstone, really appropriate, too!
I don't get the reference and I don't see the link with a rager ?:smallconfused:Quote:
Overall, this very much feels like "Madfoam Rager: the Class!" And I like that.:smallbiggrin:
You're so right, which is why I didn't go with that sort of thing.Quote:
I feel like I'm going to tell a lot of people in my PEACHes to "cut down on words," because, let's not kid ourselves, time is a bitch to think about in the context of a game. And so help me god if I see more than one "re-wind a round" abilities in a single class. On paper, they are a cute idea, but, as far as actual gaming goes, they can be nigh-impossible to actually run.:smallfurious:
Thank you very much.
Can someone peach my Watchmaker, please?
The skills are a bit awkward in the requirements. Why have both Craft (clockwork) and Profession (watchmaker)? The latter seems unnecessary here. (Also, perhaps you should unbold the parts after the : marks.)
You could replace the Profession ranks with a base Will save requirement instead (+4, for example).
Knowledge (history) seems like it should be in the class skills... could also be used for requirements. 4 ranks maybe?
Check the Time's adding ranks in Spot and Listen together seems awkward... and some people use Perception instead. I find it hard to imagine how you'd "listen" for it, though seeing it I'd believe. Perhaps instead give a scaling bonus to such checks to percieve disturbances in Time?
The Diplomacy bonus from Know Thy Future is flavourful, I like that.
The swordcane is kind of awkward and seems rather just thrown in there, to be honest. Plus it only really synergizes with regaining your Str and Dex.
That all being said, while very flavourful, it is really, really weak. At level 15 you are just a little good at fighting with what's basically a short sword and you can make creatures shaken (it isn't stated that it is a Mind-Affecting effect btw, but I think all fear effects are, right?).
Ok then.
I'd agree on the first point, but the second point is a bit iffy. 9/10, you know who's throwing the spells around. Anyway, you do have a point.Quote:
It doesn't seem that strong to me for two reason first it's a Will save and spellcaster generally have very good will save and second you need to choose careffuly, it's not always obvious which creature can cast spell.
I didn't think of it that way. Well, it is certainly "fairer", if that's the correct way of describing it.Quote:
My first instinct was straith number of attack (1,2,3) but I realise that monster with lot of attack would less affected so I decided to go with a percentage.
Not really. I just noticed it was the only ability without a save.Quote:
I did forgot the save for the first save but there none for not so soon because you target the effect itself not the creature. (well it's the logic anyway) Do you think it really need a save ?
Gotcha.Quote:
magical effect are defined in the I'll do that later desription.
No problem, and why thank you. :smallsmile:Quote:
Thank you very much for the peach it's appreciate. here's one for your class:
Got it.Quote:
Requirement: Seem fine.
Skills: might want to add concentration so they can avoid Aoo and spellcraft so they can recognize spells.
The pronoun thing is copypasta that wasn't cooked properly. And yes, it should be able to cast while in a rage.Quote:
Spells: A barbarian class that grant spell his original I admit. You have a few pronoun problem switching betwen they and you in the middle of a phrase.
I like the spell list very thematic.
As written a timebreaker cannot cast stiil spells in rage. Is that intentional ?
Snazzy.Quote:
Lightning Fast Fury: Nice simple boost.
Steal the Years: Very cool ability. A straight debuff.
Speedy Steps: Okay.
Will do.Quote:
Timecrush Rebuke: I like this one. you may just need to specify the target of the Aoo because as written they can use on any creature within reach.
1. Immediate Action. Is meant to be a panic button.Quote:
Step through Time: You need to state what action is need to activate it. It default as a standard action but it may better as an immediate or swift action. Also can you use while raging ?
2. I guess they can be ragin' and hidin'.
Snazzy + 1.Quote:
Lightning Speed: Very cool ability that.
Timebreaker Strike: Awesome ability. very fitting as a capstone.
And I shall polish away. Many thanks!Quote:
Conclusions: a very cool class that just need a little polishing. The first few abilities seem a little weak but you do get spellcasting so it compensate.
Got rid of Craft (Clockwork). I kept watchmaker as it is an integral part of the fluff.
Done.Quote:
(Also, perhaps you should unbold the parts after the : marks.)
Added the will save, replaced Craft (Clockwork)Quote:
You could replace the Profession ranks with a base Will save requirement instead (+4, for example).
AddedQuote:
Knowledge (history) seems like it should be in the class skills... could also be used for requirements. 4 ranks maybe?
Changed to Spot OR Perception. Added scaling bonus.Quote:
Check the Time's adding ranks in Spot and Listen together seems awkward... and some people use Perception instead. I find it hard to imagine how you'd "listen" for it, though seeing it I'd believe. Perhaps instead give a scaling bonus to such checks to percieve disturbances in Time?
Thanks. :smallredface:Quote:
The Diplomacy bonus from Know Thy Future is flavourful, I like that.
Changed to light and martial weapons.Quote:
The swordcane is kind of awkward and seems rather just thrown in there, to be honest. Plus it only really synergizes with regaining your Str and Dex.
Changed "Sword Cane fighting" to be useable on a much more varied scale, as well as giving a bonus to shaken creatures.Quote:
That all being said, while very flavourful, it is really, really weak. At level 15 you are just a little good at fighting with what's basically a short sword and you can make creatures shaken (it isn't stated that it is a Mind-Affecting effect btw, but I think all fear effects are, right?).
Also, clarified that it is a mind effecting ability.
Well, my Stillsword is pretty much done (the "pretty much" comes from the fact that I have yet to add the Permeabilities, which are...kind of 20 :smallfrown:).
Either way, if any of you would like to PEACH I'll gladly return the favor.
I've finished the basics of my entry, the Antecedent Investigator. I would really appreciate some feedback, particularly of power level.
Sorry about that! I'll also get to the editing job soon, too, between PEACHes.
Alright, so it's time I re-enter the ring! I've got the vast majority of the crunch done. It feels like I'm bordering on "words words words..." with a few things, but space-time does that to me.
I've got a few things to finish up with the class. I feel like dropping a Fission or Body Outside Body like ability down at level 7. Level 9 needs something, and "Living Nexus" is going to be equal parts teleportation and time travel gone mad, maybe with a pinch of Fission 2: Temporal Boogaloo.
There's precedent for using homebrew as the base class our prestige class is aimed at, right? I'm wondering if I can use Knight of Time as my basis.
Curses! My design notes were all on a .txt that I didn't save (because I make bad decisions) and the power went out. Now I have to start from scratch + what I remember.
I'm also surprised no one beat me to the low-hanging fruit of "time pirate."
Got a vague idea here, but since it is built around "Crippling Drawbacks to get Awesome Abilities" (in that order of logical thought of how the idea occurred to me) it might be nearly impossible to balance.
Basically, it is a time-traveler who HAS to cover his tracks to prevent himself from vanishing from existence just before he undertook the action that left too much of a trace, but who has a lot of abilities (Modify Memory, Make Whole, the ability to deal subdual damage with any attack whether magical or mundane) to help him along with that.
How worth trying do people think that might be?
Just ramp up the difficulty of covering his tracks as he goes along. The gov't isn't going to bust out the national guard for a dude who dined and dashed, and the government IS going to break out the national guard for a criminal who stole a military helicopter and is currently doing strafing runs on civilians. Give the prestige class more tools but every tool makes it more difficult to get away with using.
This part of your idea, at least, sounds like it could be very useful.
Fixed the underlined word for you.
Also, I wasn't imagining his tools as being sources of tracks but ways of covering them. Thus the selection of those abilities, rather than Haste and Time Stop and such (although they might get a bit of those too).
Yeah, whoops, you definitely read it as intended.
And: sure, covering tracks makes it harder to be found, but they also leave evidence. If you drown a room out in bleach, it's suspicious. If you suddenly INSIST that you were at a specific place before any investigation of a murder that night, it's suspicious. It can be something simple that requires two knowledge points to correlate ("cops find a cache of buried bodies / Jason McMurderface stops going on his weekly "hunting trips" in his truck") or it can be fairly obvious (the previously mentioned "why were the sheets bleached past usability, the walls soaked in the stuff, the floor ruined by it, and the mattress burned?").
Errr...
crap...
Chrono Legionnaire does not go as planned, and many people made "time knights"
Scrapping idea in favor of a new one-Time Thief...
I'm thankful that ErrantX chose this subject for this contest, especially as it coincides with possibly being the last PrC contest I'll be able to compete in for a while.
Such ideas I have.
It will be SO DELICIOUS.
Why last for a while? something happened?
And yes, I agree this is a badass subject for a PrC contest. such a flavorful power source with so many stories about, yet no real integration into DnD...
Actually, 3.5 has some love for time magic. There are some articles in regards to the Forgotten Realms setting with a few time spells. The Legends of the Twins Dragonlance source book has a bunch of time spells in it, but in regards to PrCs, "time" is kind of rare. Offhand, the only thing that comes to mind is the Swiftblade.
On a related note, the Temporal Warrior is mechanically done. I still want to hammer out the fluff behind it, though. I may change the name to "Obsidian Warden," as the main class feature is Obsidian Gateway and its weird teleport-y-ness. I'm worried I gave it too much (and I'm tempted about throwing down an "Advanced Learning" class feature for time spells), so a PEACH would be greatly appreciated.
I'm here, I waiting just for that.
Peach for the Temporal Warrior
Fluff: Short and to the point, I didn't do better so no comment.
Prereq: Seem fine, why the exotic weapon ? I don't see the link with time.
Somantic weaponry I can see because your a warrior and a mage but not the exotic weapon.
Side note: A source for non-core stuff is always nice, somantic weaponry in that case, CW no ?
Also various adaptation would be really cool. Psionic notably.
Skills, Bab, Saves: A good chassis with full bab and two good saves.
Weapon proficiency: Exotic weapon or armor again, still why ?
Transtemporal Pouches: An original ability, not sure how often it could come up in game but nice.
demises =/= dismiss
Eyes-in-time: Where's that spell ?
Spellcasting: 3 lost level, you'll need some good ability to compensate, but from a quick look it seem fair.
Obsidian Gateways: That seem like a really nice idea, even if more teleporation based than time based.
2nd level: the wording about making ranged attack isn't very clear. Does both you and the target need to be adjacent of a gate to use a ranged attack, only one of you ? "as long as he (and others) are adjacent to one of the gateways"
Who's "other" the target ?
4th level: Now your thinking with portal ! :smallbiggrin:
How do you count the number of square of movement when passing throug the gateway ? Do you count the square that the gateway occupy, do you appear adjacent to them ?
The second part also confirm that before that the target of ranged attack need to be adjacent. So earlier wording need clarification.
6th level: A nice idea, but the limit to once per round is a little limitating.
For example you want to attack you'll choose the bonus (a free action) and then if your foe attack you apply the penalty. But then, before your turn, one of your ally want to attack your foe through the gateway too and it take the penalty (and probably miss). Would it be too strong if you could instead choose the bonus/penalty depending on which creature attack ? (allies gain a +1 or enemies a -11)
Transplanar warrior ?
8th level: Instant gateway.
I'm not sure allowing other creature to travel through your gateway is such a boost, for your allies it's nice but it allow your foe to reach you too. and if you want to prevent it, it'll eat your immediate action with no guarantee of succes.
The idea is really cool but I think it need a little clarification/simplification.
Mobile Spellcasting:: Again source ? That's the spring attack feat of spellcaster no ? If so it's nice to have and fit the movement theme of the class.
Unstable Passage: As written you can only use flicker as a standard action because you don't say it's an immediate action like the original version so it default to standard.
Temporal Shift: I see what you mean but it's confusing. You use the word target multiple time but it seem to refere to yourself ? In the same phrase you use both you and target. You shift from you to him in the middle.
You need to say what happen if a creature attack the shadow ? Can it even see it ? (strongly implied but i'm sure) Can it see the difference betwen you and the shadow ?
Very confusing.
Temporal Regeneration: You dedouble yourself but it's called regeneration ?
Insteed of spliting power point/spell slot/other daily ability why not just say that you and your duplicate share the same pool of ability and if one is used it dissapear from the pool and then the other cannot use it. (Yes fission does it like that but I don't really see the point)
Also you contradicte yourself if the ressource are split then you cannot have a paradox because each "you" posses half the ressource and can spend them freely because the other does not have acces to thies half of the ressource.
In case of paradox what's the percentage of chance that an inevitable is create and what sort of inevitable it is ?
A few example of negligent use of time magic would be great.
Lot of confusion for this ability.
Delayed Trek: A delay effect, that remind me of something. :smallamused:
You need to stat the type of effect (Su probably).
The first part is clear no problem there.After reareading it no it's not.
What sort of action is need to delay effect , do you decid when you create the gateway ? As an immediate action when an effect try to pass through ?
The second partlessmore so, why it's harder to reduce the delay than to extend it ? Shouldn't it be the opposite ?
Also as written you can delay an effect as long as the gateway exist as long as you spend a swift action every few round.
What happen if the gateway dissapear before the end of the delay ? Do delayed creature dissapear ?
Finally the example is weird, what's the benefit of increasing the delay effect as an immediate action when an effect try to pass through ? (theory: because the delay is set when you create the gateway but i'm not sure)
Living Nexus: That's one very good capstone ! No comment apart from those of temporal regeneration.
Fluff: No completed but the begining is interesting.
Conclusions: Hum, yeah. The ideas behind the class and it's abilities are great ! But it is really confusing and sometimes incomplete (eyes-in-times) I admit I'm a little dissapoint because normally your work is top notch. Still you time to finish so I'm sure that you'll get it right before the end of the contest.
Also a lot of your ability require swift or immediate action, a very limited ressource.
One last thing that may be more important, the class seem to be more teleportation based than times based, two abilities really fluffed to be link with time (temporal regenration and delayed trek, plus perhaps eyes in time). Seem a little light when it's supposed to be the central them of the class. Maybe it's just me.
I think I was a little harsh and I hope I didn't offend you, but I know you are capable of much more.
Thanks very much, zagan!
I'm planning on adding more to it, but I figured crunch > fluff for the sake of the contest.
I'm editing the class now to cite non-core sources. The Exotic Weapon thing is partially there as a feat tax, but also to encourage things other than just human from entering it.
Skills, Bab, Saves: A good chassis with full bab and two good saves.
Weird stuff exists, and I mentally have the image of most Temporal Warriors either being proud of their race (Elves using Thinblades) or crazy humans.
Thanks, both for the compliment and the catch on the word.:smallredface:
In the word document I was making this class. It'll be up shortly.
The idea was to hammer spellcasting a bit, much like the Swiftblade.
Yeah, that's mostly because I kept thinking of space-time and "space=time" while making this class. It's a little forced, admittedly.
Thanks. Originally, I was thinking that ranged attacks should be a later-level ability, but I never really settled on the language for it. I'll try to clean that up.
I added some clarification to it. Let me know if it still seems "off."
The second part also confirm that before that the target of ranged attack need to be adjacent. So earlier wording need clarification.
Originally, I was going to do just that, but it felt too strong that way. I may go back to that method, though. I mean, it is your class feature after all.
Fair enough. If I can get some more opinions, I may go back to my first reaction, which was to have the gateway "penalties" be dependent on allies/enemies. I may also change it so that the 8th level ability requires a Will Save (DC probably 10+.5PrC level+Key modifier) to use, failure meaning that an enemy cannot use that gateway for the rest of the day.
It basically is the Spring Attack of spellcasting. Source is Complete Adventurer, around page ~100.
Noted and modified to be as an immediate action.
Again, this was a case where I was thinking "what if you use some weird teleport spell on an ally." I decided to just change it to "you" to save on confusion. I also added a clause that states that enemies can tell which one is "real."
I call it "Regeneration," because I kept thinking about Doctor Who while making this class feature.
I copied a lot of text from the Fission power, which is probably why there's so much confusion. I changed the wording so that it is now just a vague "shares" to allow for Paradox events.
I also added some more examples of that would draw attention from Inevitables.
Not going to lie, delaying things screams time magic, and I like how the procrastinator did it!:smallbiggrin:
I'm overhauling this a bit to try to avoid confusion. Take another look at it, once I get the revision up for another round of PEACHes.:smallsmile:
I was worried I overdid it, but twice per day getting basically two different ~7th level abilities doesn't seem too bad.
I plan on getting more of that done in the near future!
A lot of the confusion comes from me being so unsure of just how I wanted things to work. I remember being confused beyond all belief trying to think how I should word (and work) Obsidian Gateways when I first made the ability. Using swift actions and immediate actions was done somewhat intentionally, as I worry that just having everything be on all the time is "too good" or "too strong." My revisions remove a lot of them, but I still want people using the Temporal Warrior to be conservative with their swift and immediate actions.
I'm also worried that I didn't focus enough on TIME, especially considering how late the time-related abilities show up in the class. In that case, I'm okay with withdrawing the entry from the competition, because it doesn't "fit."
Yeah, I see what you mean but to me it feel like it come out of nowhere. In addition your obsidian gate already increase your reach so the most comonly (ab)used exotic weapon become even more powerful. Your choice.
I've seen you've post it, it seem fine and really time based so that help.Quote:
In the word document I was making this class. It'll be up shortly.
A little, but fluff is mutable. You could say that you when teleporting you tarvel trhough time instead of the astral plane.Quote:
Yeah, that's mostly because I kept thinking of space-time and "space=time" while making this class. It's a little forced, admittedly.
The new wording for the 2nd level detail is much clearer now.Quote:
Thanks. Originally, I was thinking that ranged attacks should be a later-level ability, but I never really settled on the language for it. I'll try to clean that up.
That too is clearer.Quote:
I added some clarification to it. Let me know if it still seems "off."
I think you should, perhaps reducing just a little the penalty to compensate ? A -6 is largely enough.Quote:
Originally, I was going to do just that, but it felt too strong that way. I may go back to that method, though. I mean, it is your class feature after all.
I like the idea of will save.Quote:
Fair enough. If I can get some more opinions, I may go back to my first reaction, which was to have the gateway "penalties" be dependent on allies/enemies. I may also change it so that the 8th level ability requires a Will Save (DC probably 10+.5PrC level+Key modifier) to use, failure meaning that an enemy cannot use that gateway for the rest of the day.
Ha I didn't catch the reference.Quote:
I call it "Regeneration," because I kept thinking about Doctor Who while making this class feature.
Now it's clearer, I doubt paradox from overusing spell slot will come often but it's nice that you add a sort of drawback.Quote:
I copied a lot of text from the Fission power, which is probably why there's so much confusion. I changed the wording so that it is now just a vague "shares" to allow for Paradox events.
Much better now.Quote:
Not going to lie, delaying things screams time magic, and I like how the procrastinator did it!:smallbiggrin:
I'm overhauling this a bit to try to avoid confusion. Take another look at it, once I get the revision up for another round of PEACHes.:smallsmile:
It's much better now and I like the removed old age thing you add.Quote:
A lot of the confusion comes from me being so unsure of just how I wanted things to work. I remember being confused beyond all belief trying to think how I should word (and work) Obsidian Gateways when I first made the ability. Using swift actions and immediate actions was done somewhat intentionally, as I worry that just having everything be on all the time is "too good" or "too strong." My revisions remove a lot of them, but I still want people using the Temporal Warrior to be conservative with their swift and immediate actions.
It's fine as I said fluff is mutable.Quote:
I'm also worried that I didn't focus enough on TIME, especially considering how late the time-related abilities show up in the class. In that case, I'm okay with withdrawing the entry from the competition, because it doesn't "fit."
EDIT: I've got an idea that you could use, could be some sort of drawback or with a little creativity a could useful in itself.
My idea is that X amoutn of time (10 minutes ?) after using temporal regeneration the temporal warrior disappear for the same number of round that he used the ability and he then reappear in the same position.
What do you think ?