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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
I'm just kidding, old is like, eighty or something. Besides, a wet-behind-the-ears whippersnapper like me sees nineteen as old.
It's true.....you are only as old as you feel anyway. Which some days is a young, spry 18 year old...............and sometimes an 80 yr old :smallbiggrin:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Arachu
Wait, gay people don't like being called "sir"? This is news to me. :smalltongue:
*Hugs*
~Bianca
Apparently :smalltongue: . Although I think the jury might still be out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
Hm hm.
I talked to a few other people about it and apparently the SRS thing for name change is just a formality and they usually just put a year after you start hormones on it to satisfy the legal requirements. So it's more of a 'government wants it to put it on there'. Am rather frustrated with SRS being a requirement for a legal gender change though. Just feels like the entire business is rather very out of touch with trans people. :/
Edit: Orchiectomy apparently counts too; you just have to be "permanently infertile".
Well, that's stupid, and your government should feel bad :smalltongue: !
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
Yeah, the getting called 'sir' really stings often. :<
Also haha at the being gay just in another way. :smalltongue: Hope everything goes well and your parents don't give you too much hassle. (It's this Wednesday, right?)
Yep, this Wednesday, 3:30 pm. I'm getting more and mroe nervous as it approaches. I just want it to be over with!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
@Absol-
Is it strange that I see in your recounting exactly what is going to happen to me in a few months? Because I do. I already gave you all the hugs I had, but the factories have since produced some more, so have these too
*hugs*
At least they haven't guessed correctly and gone off without any opportunity for you to guide things along. Good luck
Oh, I hope not! It's been no fun at all, and I wouldn't want to put anyone else through it! Of course, you've gotta come out, or you'll never be yourself, which would be a terrible shame, so...
Also, it's more than a little weird, seeing as I've known that I'm trans for just over two months, and I believe you've know for a great deal longer than that. I can't imagine living with the secret for that long. I'm pretty sure I'd literally blow up :smallsmile: !
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
On the question of "sir," while it does bother me, there'a not much I can do, except ask that the person not be so formal, but I've sort of gotten used to the grating. Of course, this is likely to change once I start thinking more seriously and immediately about coming out, or being out.
~Laura
You've also explained that you have more outlets than I do - your plushes and such. That might also make up some of the difference. Of course, you're probably right about the vicinity of out-ness being a factor, as well.
~Phoenix~
I'm trying it out! So sue me!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Well...um...I mean, if you're offering :smallredface::smallwink: !
What else would it be? :smallwink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Celtic_D&Der
Only if you are the ride at the end of the line.....:smallamused:
(giggleblush) Ask Absol :P
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by Absol197
Also, it's more than a little weird, seeing as I've known that I'm trans for just over two months, and I believe you've know for a great deal longer than that. I can't imagine living with the secret for that long. I'm pretty sure I'd literally blow up!
I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah
I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a Phoenix clan shugenja
Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?
~Laura
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a
Phoenix clan shugenja
Oh hey, I've just been learning that. Just finished making my first character and-
Quote:
Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?
~Laura
:smalleek::redface:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
I'm sorry, I was trying to lighten things up. It's just - I don't understand what "being female" means. It's frustrating.
I didn't mean to make you into a joke.
It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Heh, nice term. I like it!
Actually, weirdly, I find it helps some to almost flaunt my femininity. I just changed out of my long dress (the one that I wore to the Camden minimeetup, actually) into a short skirt and tight top, and I'm feeling quite a bit better.
Lemme know when asking for pictures goes from flattering to creepy, s'il vous plaît. >_>"
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
No one even knows, Lixie. No one even knows. They all mistake their dreams of you to be reality, and so flock here with their strange ravings about that time that you [REDACTED]ed their [REDACTED] [REDACTED], [REDACTED]ing with them while they [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
True story. :smallredface:
Heheh. Yeah~
Those were good times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
I just almost lit one on fire just for fun until I remembered I learned to ignore my gut instincts. Also because it might make starting conversations easier.
I like being called "Sir". It makes me feel grown-up.
Oh pfff. They grow back eventually.
Now ask me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Yep, this Wednesday, 3:30 pm. I'm getting more and mroe nervous as it approaches. I just want it to be over with!
We will have to be available for congratulations and comfort hugs. It says you posted this at 2:28 PM my time, when does it say you posted it on your screen?
Quote:
~Phoenix~
I'm trying it out! So sue me!
I'm seeing a shiba, personally. You don't strike me as much of an Isawa. :smallwink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah
Yeah... It's such a hurdle it's hard to figure where to start.
Quote:
I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a
Phoenix clan shugenja
Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?
~Laura
That's totally a maho tsukai, though D=
Run Absol! She wants your soul!
... Why are the tsukai always hot?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Oh hey, I've just been learning that. Just finished making
my first character and-
:smalleek::redface:
Oh? Neat. I have never web able to ply, myself, but was always interested...
Sorry about today. Turns out I had to bike out three cities over and wok insteadl of actually sleeping on the morning before my day off. I've been zombie-ing since about ten PM last night. >.<
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Yep, this Wednesday, 3:30 pm. I'm getting more and mroe nervous as it approaches. I just want it to be over with!
*Hugs*
Quote:
You've also explained that you have more outlets than I do - your plushes and such. That might also make up some of the difference. Of course, you're probably right about the vicinity of out-ness being a factor, as well.
My outlet is pillows - I like to hug one or two while I go to sleep~ :3
Quote:
~Phoenix~
I'm trying it out! So sue me!
Ooh~ I like the way it looks in that color. :smallbiggrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.
Kind of like... The absence of dissatisfaction with the shape of your body, maybe? Hmm...
Quote:
Oh pfff. They grow back eventually.
Now ask me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height.
Me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height? :smalltongue:
But seriously, o.o
Quote:
Sorry about today. Turns out I had to bike out three cities over and wok insteadl of actually sleeping on the morning before my day off. I've been zombie-ing since about ten PM last night. >.<
*Hopes she isn't being nosy, but hugs!*
~Bianca
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
That's totally a maho tsukai, though D=
Run Absol! She wants your soul!
... Why are the tsukai always hot?
Dramatic convention. xD
Quote:
Oh? Neat. I have never web able to ply, myself, but was always interested...
Sorry about today. Turns out I had to bike out three cities over and wok insteadl of actually sleeping on the morning before my day off. I've been zombie-ing since about ten PM last night. >.<
Her game may or may not exist...
Well, tomorrow?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.
WARNING: MELODRAMA INCOMING
For me, being female is like being full of light and warmth, like there's a lantern in my chest that gives off the essence of life and growth. It really is contentment in the sense of having everything I want and nothing within myself being wrong. It fills me up so that I can't not show it, and I can't not share it. When my motherly instincts turn on it's like I can give some of whatever the object is and enlarge myself at the same time. It's wonderful, and when it happens I know for that instant that it's worth any price to get those feelings.
Feeling male, for me, feels like being empty, like there's a void where that light should be that must be filled, but at the same time can't be filled.
END MELODRAMA
EDIT: And this is why posting at the end of a twelve hour midterm marathon is a bad idea.
~Laura
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
No one even knows, Lixie. No one even knows. They all mistake their dreams of you to be reality, and so flock here with their strange ravings about that time that you [REDACTED]ed their [REDACTED] [REDACTED], [REDACTED]ing with them while they [REDACTED] your [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
True story. :smallredface:
wait. What?! How did you hear about this! this is surprisingly accurate...:smalleek:
Btw, yes, zhat is how I lost my medical license.:smallbiggrin: Now where is zhat damn bird... :smallyuk:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Well, take solace in this: both politics and news tend to distort and exaggerate information to spin the story a certain way. If you are feeling down, I'd go search for another source to get more accurate information on the subject your feeling down upon, skepticism and doubt on these sorts of things is your friend, as well as the good advice of taking what certain things say with a grain of salt.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah
Oh, now I'm thinking of it, too :smallfrown: .
I've never been called brave before. I don't think of it as bravery: I think of it as running blindly out of the darkness into the light screaming, "I can't take it any more!" hoping that I don't trip or end up impaled upon a spike that I can't see coming. Or something like that :smallbiggrin: .
I definitely think talking with a therapist will help. It helped me a lot, especially with those doubts. They're not completely gone, but I'm much more sure of myself, which is part of why I can come out to so many people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
I like your color choice, Phoenix. And your name, it's very elegant, and it makes me think of a
Phoenix clan shugenja
Also, can I have the Lix when you're done?
~Laura
Thanks :smallredface: . Still just trying it out, but I do like it...
Oh, and you can definitely have Lixie when I'm done with her! It may be a while though...*retreats back into pillow fort*
EDIT: Oooh! She's pretty! I wish I could look like her...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.
For me, it's like being a balloon. O_O
No, really! I feel all filled up with good and happy feelings, almost like I'm going to float away. The constant nagging and doubts and craving in the back of my head for something that, for the longest time I couldn't describe goes away, and I'm no longer wieghted down.
Or what Laura said. That works, too! :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
Heheh. Yeah~
Those were good times.
I know, right?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
We will have to be available for congratulations and comfort hugs. It says you posted this at 2:28 PM my time, when does it say you posted it on your screen?
3:28 PM. Hey, you're really close to me (geographically speaking)! Are you on the West Coast or something?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
I'm seeing a shiba, personally. You don't strike me as much of an Isawa. :smallwink:
*Has no idea what you're talking about*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
That's totally a maho tsukai, though D=
Run Absol! She wants your soul!
... Why are the tsukai always hot?
Oh no! *Runs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
WARNING: MELODRAMA INCOMING
For me, being female is like being full of light and warmth, like there's a lantern in my chest that gives off the essence of life and growth. It really is contentment in the sense of having everything I want and nothing within myself being wrong. It fills me up so that I can't not show it, and I can't not share it. When my motherly instincts turn on it's like I can give some of whatever the object is and enlarge myself at the same time. It's wonderful, and when it happens I know for that instant that it's worth any price to get those feelings.
Feeling male, for me, feels like being empty, like there's a void where that light should be that must be filled, but at the same time can't be filled.
END MELODRAMA
EDIT: And this is why posting at the end of a twelve hour midterm marathon is a bad idea.
~Laura
That was beautifully said! *Has warm fuzzies inside*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.
I'm so sorry, Golly! *Hugs* I've been feeling the same way about politics recently. Why can't everybody just be nice and get along, and live and let live, huh?
~Phoenix~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
Oh, now I'm thinking of it, too :smallfrown: .
I've never been called brave before. I don't think of it as bravery: I think of it as running blindly out of the into the light screaming, "I can't take it any more!" hoping that I don't trip or end up impaled upon a spike that I can't seem coming. Or something like that :smallbiggrin:
~Phoenix~
I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."
Well, she's a smart lady!
~Phoenix~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
Oh pfff. They grow back eventually.
Now ask me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height.
How did that go? Reminds me of the time I blew up our grill.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
It's quite an indescribable thing. It's like comfort I suppose, which is just the absence of being uncomfortable. Being female is the absence of being male? No, that's not right. Absence is its own thing. Hmm.
I dunno. I don't think comfort is the absence of being uncomfortable. It goes beyond that. I mean. If you sit on a chair, you might not be uncomfortable... but you also might not be comfortable. But if you sit on those delightful, plush, soft sofas... then you might experience comfort. It's like... on the scale of -10 to 10... absence of discomfort is a 0. But you still have a way to go before you're really comfortable.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."
That's true, and the feeling and memory of being faced with that single absolute choice is what compels me forward, despite all the doubts. But, since I almost chose the latter, I still admire the courage of those who choose the former.
Like I've said before, I know I'll pick up speed and be running just as fast and as blind as Phoenix (Well maybe slower, I can't run quickly :smalltongue:)
~Laura
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Huh. I feel female (though not feminine), but I really don't know how to define that. Being cisgender, I've always had the privilege of never having to think about my gender identity very hard, and I tend to get distracted by other things before I find a definition.
... like painting orks.
I love painting orks. So many models to finish! WAAAAAAAGH.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."
Seconded. There's no real third option there; pretending hard to be someone you're not is a process that eats you away. Sometimes, those who do that simply die of unrelated causes before that point presents itself.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Golly, I'm sorry. Would talking about it help or would you just like affection? :smallfrown:
Absol (or would you prefer Phoenix?), legend of the five rings is a feudal samurai rpg, and one of the clans is the Phoenix. Their leading family is ostensibly the Shiba, vassals of a human who swore to protect their clan's shugenja (sorcerer priests). Isawa are the shugenja clan, I believe. It's been a while though.
Maho tsukai are blood sorcerers, and the act of even learning their magic can taint the body and soul. They are all also hot up until the point they become festering zombies at least >_<
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Arachu
Kind of like... The absence of dissatisfaction with the shape of your body, maybe? Hmm...
Maybe! It is a quiet, Warm joy. Masculinity is about joy in duty, not joy in the self. To me, mind.
Quote:
Me about the time I turned a burning oven into a fireball at about eyebrow height? :smalltongue:
But seriously, o.o
Oh, you.
Quote:
*Hopes she isn't being nosy, but hugs!*
This? I've just been unable to talk to Lix, and I feel bad about it because she's down and I'm not helping.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Her game may or may not exist...
Well, tomorrow?
Bleh. Schroedinger's game huh?
And tomorrow? That's like, twenty four hours from now! I'll try for today :3
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
WARNING: MELODRAMA INCOMING
For me, being female is like being full of light and warmth, like there's a lantern in my chest that gives off the essence of life and growth. It really is contentment in the sense of having everything I want and nothing within myself being wrong. It fills me up so that I can't not show it, and I can't not share it. When my motherly instincts turn on it's like I can give some of whatever the object is and enlarge myself at the same time. It's wonderful, and when it happens I know for that instant that it's worth any price to get those feelings.
Feeling male, for me, feels like being empty, like there's a void where that light should be that must be filled, but at the same time can't be filled.
END MELODRAMA
EDIT: And this is why posting at the end of a twelve hour midterm marathon is a bad idea.
~Laura
Don't worry hon, midterms or no. ^_^
I think the key component is about bodily awareness. It's like being out of shape; I want to be able to feel my body, focus on it, an not find anything lacking. I don't want to be too muscly, too flabby, too manly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
How did that go? Reminds me of the time I blew up our grill.
To summarize, my filly and I have a ga oven with a broiler. I've never had a gas oven with a broiler, knly ever electric. So someone stored silicone cutting boards where everyone I've ever met keeps cookie sheets; the broiler. She spent ten minutes panicking, and myself I was worried because I suspected we had a slow gas leak on the stove, and didn't want an open flame to burn itself out in my kitchen so close to said gas line. So I moved the burning bits (conveniently inside a metal tray) to the sink, to let it burn out. Except then it started the burn a little higher due to better ventilation, and I feared for my paper towels and such, so...
I turned on the faucet for about a third of a second.
The fireball exploded on my right side, like a mushroom cloud. It hit the bottom of the cabinets and spread big, flaming hug-arms, and despite being on my right side as I flinched, I lost the left-most half of my left eyebrow. This changed my girlfriend's response from panic to anger, and now being able to think clearly she grabbed baking soda (which I didn't know we had) from an obscure compartment I didn't know we had, and put out the remainder. We then argues for half an hour, the Crux being I couldn't did baking powder when I searched, and I knew from experience flour is flammable.
How... How did you blow up a grill?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bluewind95
I dunno. I don't think comfort is the absence of being uncomfortable. It goes beyond that. I mean. If you sit on a chair, you might not be uncomfortable... but you also might not be comfortable. But if you sit on those delightful, plush, soft sofas... then you might experience comfort. It's like... on the scale of -10 to 10... absence of discomfort is a 0. But you still have a way to go before you're really comfortable.
Usefully? Yes. The definition came from scientists putting their minds to designing a more comfortable airplane seat. They asked trial members if they were comfortable. One asked for how they should define comfort, and were told "well, the absence of discomfort". that person said they were then, "comfortable", but really would prefer more room to recline, which would require a plane to have more space, and less seats. Interestingly, that's what has happened!
It's like temperature. To me, temperature is if something is hot or cold. To a scientifically minded person, it's a measure of energy to entropy in a system. Both are correct, but it's still weird being corrected by a less useful definition, sometimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
That's true, and the feeling and memory of being faced with that single absolute choice is what compels me forward, despite all the doubts. But, since I almost chose the latter, I still admire the courage of those who choose the former.
Like I've said before, I know I'll pick up speed and be running just as fast and as blind as Phoenix (Well maybe slower, I can't run quickly :smalltongue:) because I feel like it's a downhill path and the further I go, the more I want to finally get into that light.
~Laura
rock on! I'm getting there. Me an my filly are slowly adapting to making me comfortable (and making her comfortable, which is more important!) expressing myself. Thanks, Lix. I think she is taking those conversations you two had to heart. ^_^
Unfortunately, this puts the sexist comments of our friends into harsher contrast >_>
Luckily, said friend is one of those who has even saying for years in more of a lesbian than a straight man <_<
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
To summarize, my filly and I have a ga oven with a broiler. I've never had a gas oven with a broiler, knly ever electric. So someone stored silicone cutting boards where everyone I've ever met keeps cookie sheets; the broiler. She spent ten minutes panicking, and myself I was worried because I suspected we had a slow gas leak on the stove, and didn't want an open flame to burn itself out in my kitchen so close to said gas line. So I moved the burning bits (conveniently inside a metal tray) to the sink, to let it burn out. Except then it started the burn a little higher due to better ventilation, and I feared for my paper towels and such, so...
I turned on the faucet for about a third of a second.
The fireball exploded on my right side, like a mushroom cloud. It hit the bottom of the cabinets and spread big, flaming hug-arms, and despite being on my right side as I flinched, I lost the left-most half of my left eyebrow. This changed my girlfriend's response from panic to anger, and now being able to think clearly she grabbed baking soda (which I didn't know we had) from an obscure compartment I didn't know we had, and put out the remainder. We then argues for half an hour, the Crux being I couldn't did baking powder when I searched, and I knew from experience flour is flammable.
How... How did you blow up a grill?
Wow. That's impressive.
Pretty short story--my dad asked me to start the grill up while he was preparing the hamburger meat. So I go out, turn on the gas, and try to light it, but the lighter isn't working. So I thoughtlessly leave the gas open while I'm standing there trying to get the lighter to light, and then it does, just as my dad comes out the back door. So he walks out and sees me and the grill and then suddenly there's a six-foot fireball. I passed my reflex save, though, so I only lost all the hair on my right arm.
The grill was more or less fine, though, just a bit scorched, but well and properly lit, so saying it "blew up" is a bit of an exaggeration.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
I think Natalie wrote something along the lines of "We're not brave. We reached a point where it was coming out/transition or death, and we didn't want to die."
Slightly melodramatic, but basically. Especially if it's a metaphorical or partial death.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
Bleh. Schroedinger's game huh?
And tomorrow? That's like, twenty four hours from now! I'll try for today :3
It wasn't that far away when I said it! xD
Quote:
rock on! I'm getting there. Me an my filly are slowly adapting to making me comfortable (and making her comfortable, which is more important!) expressing myself. Thanks, Lix. I think she is taking those conversations you two had to heart. ^_^
Glad I could help.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Absol197
I am curious as to what words the symbols are supposed to represent...
Customers at my work are usually very rude. Had one lady ready to explode today because we don't stock linseeds anymore (or rather for about two years...) and she'd have to go to a second store now.
I hate people sometimes.
Oh! On a work related note I had a very productive meeting with my HR person and my boss, and there's a vague plan for me when I transition at work to move me out of my current, very visible, position as floor manager into something more administrative which I've been wanting to do anyways.
Nothing like leveraging potential discrimination from jackhole customers into an advantage so as to hasten the wheels of HR :smallamused:
Quote:
I suspect the reason it's getting to me so much is because I really have nowhere to live my actual identity. I have my D&D group, but I only see them on Friday nights. Otherwise, it's at home with my parents, or at work, so I'm feeling incredibly stifled. I can hardly even talk to people IRL about it.
Hopefully that all changes on Wednesday, though :smallsmile: .
I'm quite lucky in that I have a number of people IRL to talk to, but then I get self-consicous that it's all I talk about... can't win either way, lol!
But still, not being able to femme up without feeling like a guy in a dress is a bit distressing sometimes, and having to do it when nobody is around too.
*sympathy hugs*
Quote:
*hopes she's very lucky...* I've been good, haven't I?
I suppose :smallwink: Depending on post times maybe Saturday? See how I go.
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On feeling feminine, I find it had to describe but I know when I'm not feeling it more than when I am.
See, today I was talking to a friend about styles of dresses and how, being skinny, to accentuate curves I need to wear things with structured waists, loose around the hips and with collars that widen the shoulders. That was so amazingly wonderful to just talk about fashion and such like it's not super unusual for me to know about dress types and so on.
The flip side is when I can't express that side of me - like I'm near guys and they comment on a good looking girl and I want to say how cool her hair is or her outfit (I am quite shallow sometimes), but I can't.
It's an absense of part of me, rather than some opposite. I didn't know I was missing something before but now I do and I notice when it's not there a lot more consiously. This comic is very relevant.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
It's an absense of part of me, rather than some opposite. I didn't know I was missing something before but now I do and I notice when it's not there a lot more consiously.
This comic is very relevant.
:smalleek: That...that's exactly it! And now I feel sad about the poor squid :smallfrown: ...
EDIT: Wow, I keep forgetting how fast this thread moves! I keep needing to change the link in my signature...
~Phoenix~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
... yeah, that comic depresses me a little. :smallfrown:
I've got a link to share here, that I don't think is very well-known around here (though I could be mistaken). Lesbians 101, a lesson that most of us don't need, but that will be nice to share once it's completed. (Warning: links leads to drawing of people in underwear, it's quite innocent but I figure it's better to give a warning just in case. Later pages show sex toys drawings and get more explicit about sex.)
The comic itself is also awesome. (Warning: cartoon violence, profanities, politics, religion, gender confusion, barbie-anatomy nakedness, and tons of cats.)
(I figure this would be a good moment to remind you I'm generous with disclaimer and warnings. I swear so much everywhere else and talk so much about delicate subjects I don't even know what's over the limits for a pg-13 forum. Therefore, I'm making a lot of things sound much worse than they actually are. Better be too cautious than too careless. What I'm getting at is that Chaos Life is not actually a Clockwork Orange with cats.)
In case you guys already knew Chaos Life, then, huh. Hurr.
By the way, I noticed I did not give out nearly enough hugs this week due to the forum maintenance. Catching up now.
*HUGS*
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.
@name change: it's extremely difficoult to change your name as a cis person, and not much easier for trans persons. I think it's similiar to what Astrella discribed.
@age: It's funny, I don't really view my parents as old (they are 58), but my sister (23) and I (18) both agree that our brother, who will be turning 30 next year, is ooooooold. Way to old for a brother. :smalltongue:
@feeling female: I thought about that a while, and have no idea how I would describe it. But like Musashi said, that's probably due to being cis. Though I am really confused recently. I sometimes feel like I might be genderqueer, or more agendered. I often don't like wearing tight clothes and I think stuff like "If I'd lose my breasts due to breast cancer or something, I wouldn't want implants. I wouldn't mind at all." But than I think I just imagine those stuff because I read so much about it lately. I am so confused.
So, *hugs* to everyone who needs or wants some, and good luck for you tomorrow, Phoenix (by the way, that's a wonderful name for you :smallsmile: )!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
How did that go? Reminds me of the time I blew up our grill.
Oh yeah? As amusing as that is, try making some food on the stove when the whole thing decides that is had enough of this mortal coil and decides to live out its final moments in this world as a BLAZING INFERNO! Seriously, I turn my back on the thing for thirty seconds...
edit: as an aside, and a helpful tip for everyone.
*clears throat* Do NOT wait for an actual emergency to see if your fire extinguisher works. There are eight different people who had to buy new extinguishers because the ones they had did not work as they were supposed to. Myself among them. :smalleek:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
Oh! On a work related note I had a very productive meeting with my HR person and my boss, and there's a vague plan for me when I transition at work to move me out of my current, very visible, position as floor manager into something more administrative which I've been wanting to do anyways.
Nothing like leveraging potential discrimination from jackhole customers into an advantage so as to hasten the wheels of HR :smallamused:
Good for you! Make 'em work for you, that's what they are supposed to be there for anyway.
They don't like people to know that though, hence Catbert, and whatnot.
*hugs*
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.
*Hugs!*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SiuiS
To summarize, my filly and I have a ga oven with a broiler. I've never had a gas oven with a broiler, knly ever electric. So someone stored silicone cutting boards where everyone I've ever met keeps cookie sheets; the broiler. She spent ten minutes panicking, and myself I was worried because I suspected we had a slow gas leak on the stove, and didn't want an open flame to burn itself out in my kitchen so close to said gas line. So I moved the burning bits (conveniently inside a metal tray) to the sink, to let it burn out. Except then it started the burn a little higher due to better ventilation, and I feared for my paper towels and such, so...
I turned on the faucet for about a third of a second.
The fireball exploded on my right side, like a mushroom cloud. It hit the bottom of the cabinets and spread big, flaming hug-arms, and despite being on my right side as I flinched, I lost the left-most half of my left eyebrow. This changed my girlfriend's response from panic to anger, and now being able to think clearly she grabbed baking soda (which I didn't know we had) from an obscure compartment I didn't know we had, and put out the remainder. We then argues for half an hour, the Crux being I couldn't did baking powder when I searched, and I knew from experience flour is flammable.
Woah. @.@
I lost part of my eyebrow... Overtrimming. It's not particularly noticeable. I set a lot of things on fire growing up, but from a couple of minor burns and a single blister (the first from one or two matches and my first handheld bottle rocket, and the second from a stick I was roasting marshmellows on), none of them got even slightly out of hand. I can't tell if I should feel proud or embarrassed. :smalltongue:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lycunadari
So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.
*So many hugs* Hope it gets even better soon. :<
~Bianca
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
@Astrella, it must be really frustrating to have these things take so long, but I bet you look back and think these few months are nothing compared to the long years you have after you're through all this bureaucracy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
Apparently the single most common name change is people changing their middle name to Danger.
Humans are awesome. :smallbiggrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
I like being called "Sir". It makes me feel grown-up.
I ... would be fine with being called "Sir", actually. I quite like "Ma'am", I think it's kind of cute. I like "Madam". I don't like "Miss", it's too childish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Celtic_D&Der
It's true.....you are only as old as you feel anyway. Which some days is a young, spry 18 year old...............and sometimes an 80 yr old :smallbiggrin:
Oh yeah, having fatigue syndrome is a lot like suddenly being 80! You're on loads of medicine, you fall asleep at awkward times, you go up stairs one step at a time saying things like "You people go on ahead! I'll catch ye up!"
On an almost-unrelated note, in Ireland, "whippersnapper" is the name of a type of very soft white sliced pan, so every time someone says "young whippersnappers!" I think of soft jam sandwiches and now I'm hungry...!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Musashi
Huh. I feel female (though not feminine), but I really don't know how to define that. Being cisgender, I've always had the privilege of never having to think about my gender identity very hard, and I tend to get distracted by other things before I find a definition.
... like painting orks.
I love painting orks. So many models to finish! WAAAAAAAGH.
I think a lot of what's important to me personally about my gender would be less relevant in a more equal society. But I always liked being a woman/girl and felt like I was on the "right" side, as it were. I think I'd do okay if I was suddenly a man but I'd prefer that didn't happen and if it did, I'd try to undo it.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lycunadari
So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.
@name change: it's extremely difficoult to change your name as a cis person, and not much easier for trans persons. I think it's similiar to what Astrella discribed.
@age: It's funny, I don't really view my parents as old (they are 58), but my sister (23) and I (18) both agree that our brother, who will be turning 30 next year, is ooooooold. Way to old for a brother. :smalltongue:
@feeling female: I thought about that a while, and have no idea how I would describe it. But like Musashi said, that's probably due to being cis. Though I am really confused recently. I sometimes feel like I might be genderqueer, or more agendered. I often don't like wearing tight clothes and I think stuff like "If I'd lose my breasts due to breast cancer or something, I wouldn't want implants. I wouldn't mind at all." But than I think I just imagine those stuff because I read so much about it lately. I am so confused.
Oh, Lucy! :frown: *MASSIVE HUGS* I'm so sorry you've been feeling that way! I've felt that way before, and it's no good at all...If you ever want to talk, my PM box is open. Just know that no matter how bad it gets, we're all here for you. Don't give up!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lycunadari
So, *hugs* to everyone who needs or wants some, and good luck for you tomorrow, Phoenix (by the way, that's a wonderful name for you :smallsmile: )!
:smallredface: Gee...thanks!
~Phoenix~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Musashi
... yeah, that comic depresses me a little. :smallfrown:
I've got a link to share here, that I don't think is very well-known around here (though I could be mistaken).
Lesbians 101, a lesson that most of us don't need, but that will be nice to share once it's completed. (Warning: links leads to drawing of people in underwear, it's quite innocent but I figure it's better to give a warning just in case. Later pages show sex toys drawings and get more explicit about sex.)
The comic itself is also awesome. (Warning: cartoon violence, profanities, politics, religion, gender confusion, barbie-anatomy nakedness, and tons of cats.)
(I figure this would be a good moment to remind you I'm generous with disclaimer and warnings. I swear so much everywhere else and talk so much about delicate subjects I don't even know what's over the limits for a pg-13 forum. Therefore, I'm making a lot of things sound much worse than they actually are. Better be too cautious than too careless. What I'm getting at is that Chaos Life is not actually a Clockwork Orange with cats.)
In case you guys already knew Chaos Life, then, huh. Hurr.
By the way, I noticed I did not give out nearly enough hugs this week due to the forum maintenance. Catching up now.
*HUGS*
Heh. "I like jelly! None of this is relevant to our genders!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lentrax
Oh yeah? As amusing as that is, try making some food on the stove when the whole thing decides that is had enough of this mortal coil and decides to live out its final moments in this world as a BLAZING INFERNO! Seriously, I turn my back on the thing for thirty seconds...
edit: as an aside, and a helpful tip for everyone.
*clears throat* Do NOT wait for an actual emergency to see if your fire extinguisher works. There are eight different people who had to buy new extinguishers because the ones they had did not work as they were supposed to. Myself among them. :smalleek:
Hard to test without replacing/refilling, isn't it? Personally I've never had to use one. Last time I started a grease fire on the (electric) stove, I just put the pan back down and smothered it. And the smoke detectors didn't even go off. Only real fire in the dorm all year and the smoke detectors didn't even notice. Yet other people somehow manage to set them off making toast or pop-tarts or whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
I ... would be fine with being called "Sir", actually. I quite like "Ma'am", I think it's kind of cute. I like "Madam". I don't like "Miss", it's too childish.
I like "Madam" as a concept but it feels awkward because of my upbringing and local culture. I address strange women and girls as "Miss", like, "Excuse me, Miss, you dropped this pen," or something like that.
The tae kwon do club president said to call her "Sir" or "Ma'am" during drills, whichever we prefer.
Quote:
Oh yeah, having fatigue syndrome is a lot like suddenly being 80! You're on loads of medicine, you fall asleep at awkward times, you go up stairs one step at a time saying things like "You people go on ahead! I'll catch ye up!"
On an almost-unrelated note, in Ireland, "whippersnapper" is the name of a type of very soft white sliced pan, so every time someone says "young whippersnappers!" I think of soft jam sandwiches and now I'm hungry...!
Would be nice if we could trade off partway and equalise things a bit. I wish I could fall asleep easily, awkward times or proper ones. I haven't slept properly in days, and I need a good nine or ten hours of GOOD sleep to function.
Oddly, I have more trouble going up stairs slowly.
Quote:
I think a lot of what's important to me personally about my gender would be less relevant in a more equal society. But I always liked being a woman/girl and felt like I was on the "right" side, as it were. I think I'd do okay if I was suddenly a man but I'd prefer that didn't happen and if it did, I'd try to undo it.
I'd be pretty pissed if I woke up in a female body while still male. (A gender swap too would probably be hard to get used to because I acclimate to things slowly, but it would be easier.) It would be interesting if I had the option to change back at will when I was sick of it and knew ahead of time I was going in for the experience, but waking up female-bodied would be a huge drag.
And our society makes me feel a bit less connected with my gender. Possibly because (at least around here) we stereotype men as only caring about sex, beer, and American "football".
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
@Astrelia- At least you got an appointment with the endocrinologist, which is a step forward. The name change thing sounds miserable though. I don't see why it should really require a date set just for that, though maybe for the official sex switch on government documents going that far is understandable (not right, but at least understandable). Still given the stupid things people change their names to, you wouldn't think Lena would raise any legal hurdles.
*hugs*
People are stupid
Governments doubly so.
Yeah... a lot of my frustration is actually for the sake of other people. I'm still pretty lucky but for someone who is non-op for example or non-binary and wants to medically transition it all just sounds so much more sucky. :s
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selpharia
I meant that mainly in terms of coming out, since in your two months you've, I think, done a lot more about that than I have. In a way, I envy your bravery. I think one of the things holding me back is still the possibility that I'm just crazy and self-deluded. I'm hoping things will get better actually talking with someone knowledgeable in meatspace directly about it. That and I have sisters, and on my bad days I worry that I'll just be throwing away my carefully constructed facade of lies forever just to have a shot at becoming a poor imitation of a real woman like them. Blah
You are a real woman, Laura. Let no-one tell you otherwise.
But yes, I know those fears as well. *offers all the hugs*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
Guys, feeling all confused today. The source of my confusion involves politics, but I think it's fair to say that I'm feeling hurt and in some ways targeted by a couple of news item's I've seen lately, and the world just is seeming like a hostile place.
Aww. :<
*all the hugs*
*defends goly from mean world with her honor guard*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
Oh! On a work related note I had a very productive meeting with my HR person and my boss, and there's a vague plan for me when I transition at work to move me out of my current, very visible, position as floor manager into something more administrative which I've been wanting to do anyways.
Nothing like leveraging potential discrimination from jackhole customers into an advantage so as to hasten the wheels of HR :smallamused:
That's neat and great to have at it at least a bit laid out already.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
It's an absense of part of me, rather than some opposite. I didn't know I was missing something before but now I do and I notice when it's not there a lot more consiously.
This comic is very relevant.
That comic. :<
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Musashi
... yeah, that comic depresses me a little. :smallfrown:
I've got a link to share here, that I don't think is very well-known around here (though I could be mistaken).
Lesbians 101, a lesson that most of us don't need, but that will be nice to share once it's completed. (Warning: links leads to drawing of people in underwear, it's quite innocent but I figure it's better to give a warning just in case. Later pages show sex toys drawings and get more explicit about sex.)
The comic itself is also awesome. (Warning: cartoon violence, profanities, politics, religion, gender confusion, barbie-anatomy nakedness, and tons of cats.)
(I figure this would be a good moment to remind you I'm generous with disclaimer and warnings. I swear so much everywhere else and talk so much about delicate subjects I don't even know what's over the limits for a pg-13 forum. Therefore, I'm making a lot of things sound much worse than they actually are. Better be too cautious than too careless. What I'm getting at is that Chaos Life is not actually a Clockwork Orange with cats.)
In case you guys already knew Chaos Life, then, huh. Hurr.
By the way, I noticed I did not give out nearly enough hugs this week due to the forum maintenance. Catching up now.
*HUGS*
Ooh, I love Chaos Life. :smalltongue: And the lesbian 101 series have been pretty neat so far. There's general useful stuff about gender stereotypes in there as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lycunadari
So... I'm still here. I just didn't feel like postig, because I felt really down the last couple of days (well, the last two weeks). Not because of something particular ( except the thing with my friend, but that's getting better), just in general. Like I was sitting in a deep, black hole. Alone, fragile, and tired. Very tired, I actually considered skipping school yesterday because I was so tired of everything. Tired of school, tired of feeling lonely even if I'm with my friends, tired of talking with my parents ((especially with my father. I'm tired of his stupid jokes.) though at the same time I want nothing more than someone to talk with), tired of existing. But it's getting better now.
@feeling female: I thought about that a while, and have no idea how I would describe it. But like Musashi said, that's probably due to being cis. Though I am really confused recently. I sometimes feel like I might be genderqueer, or more agendered. I often don't like wearing tight clothes and I think stuff like "If I'd lose my breasts due to breast cancer or something, I wouldn't want implants. I wouldn't mind at all." But than I think I just imagine those stuff because I read so much about it lately. I am so confused.
So, *hugs* to everyone who needs or wants some, and good luck for you tomorrow, Phoenix (by the way, that's a wonderful name for you :smallsmile: )!
*hugs*
Those feelings of just exhaustion with existence is something that happens to me quite often. It's really sucky. :s I hope you feel better soon.
Gender; it's really confusing and can require a lot of introspection to figure out. But we're here to help you and support you. :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
@Astrella, it must be really frustrating to have these things take so long, but I bet you look back and think these few months are nothing compared to the long years you have after you're through all this bureaucracy!
Yeah, it's mostly just how messy it is in general and how some people suffer from it even a lot more than me that frustrates me. You'd think that Belgium out of all countries would be a bit more progressive about this stuff. >.>
-----
Good luck tomorrow, Phoenix!
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Well. Today sucked.
This morning at work we had a free sponsored medical clinic thingy where some healthcare people came in and gave flu shots, checked blood sugar, dispensed nutrition advice, did a normal checkup, and such. I'm not a fan of needles at all and would gladly have passed on it, but it's sponsored by my employer's insurance company as part of a Healthy Incentives program, and each thing you do gives you a discount on your insurance premiums for a year (up to 2/3 off if you do the maximum number of activities), so given the insurance prices around here I figured I could put up with my trypanophobia if it meant saving that kind of money. We had to fill out a bunch of forms beforehand, one of which had questions about relationship status, orientation, sexual practices, etc. for demographics and benefit eligibility purposes. (On a side note, I was impressed by the form; the questions dealt with more than just the gender binary, included most of the LGBTQA* in the orientation answers, and stuff like that.)
One of the possible activities was giving blood. Those of you familiar with US laws on the subject probably see where this is heading. :smallannoyed:
I answered all the questions honestly and figured that would be the end of it. Now, I haven't had sex before, with another male or otherwise. I don't have anything that would be communicable via blood donation, HIV or otherwise. I emphatically did not want to give blood today because eew needles and I stated as much on the form. Yet that didn't stop the nurse there from coming over and telling me--in the public waiting room, mind, not in the private room where they were discussing test results with people--that "people like me" aren't allowed to give blood. When I told her that I had not checked the giving-blood box on the activity selection form, I had checked the never-had-sex-with-men box, and oh by the way there were probably some people two floors up who hadn't heard her and would she like to say that again a little louder, she apologized for misreading the giving-blood checkbox...but reiterated (loudly) that it's not allowed and that I shouldn't go try to give blood somewhere else, because I could be lying about not being a MSM.
Because if you're gay and you really want to give blood, you're obviously going to tell the truth about your orientation and then lie about your sex life. :smallconfused:
So basically I got to skip breakfast and give up my lunch break in order to be poked with needles, humiliated in front of my co-workers and manager, and unexpectedly outed to a bunch of people. My manager said he's going to file a complaint with the insurance company over the unprofessional conduct, but the damage is done; some of the co-workers who were present have expressed some not-exactly-gay-friendly views in the past, and when I ran into one of them later in the afternoon, instead of exchanging the usual friendly smalltalk she very unsubtly snubbed me.
Every Wednesday we have a catered lunch where the whole company eats together and gossips networks, so I guess I'll find out then how many of those coworkers who apparently skipped LGBT sensitivity training are still willing to talk to me. Tomorrow is going to be a looong day. :smallsigh:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well. Today sucked.
This morning at work we had a free sponsored medical clinic thingy where some healthcare people came in and gave flu shots, checked blood sugar, dispensed nutrition advice, did a normal checkup, and such. I'm not a fan of needles at all and would gladly have passed on it, but it's sponsored by my employer's insurance company as part of a Healthy Incentives program, and each thing you do gives you a discount on your insurance premiums for a year (up to 2/3 off if you do the maximum number of activities), so given the insurance prices around here I figured I could put up with my trypanophobia if it meant saving that kind of money. We had to fill out a bunch of forms beforehand, one of which had questions about relationship status, orientation, sexual practices, etc. for demographics and benefit eligibility purposes. (On a side note, I was impressed by the form; the questions dealt with more than just the gender binary, included most of the LGBTQA* in the orientation answers, and stuff like that.)
One of the possible activities was giving blood. Those of you familiar with US laws on the subject probably see where this is heading. :smallannoyed:
I answered all the questions honestly and figured that would be the end of it. Now, I haven't had sex before, with another male or otherwise. I don't have anything that would be communicable via blood donation, HIV or otherwise. I emphatically did not want to give blood today because eew needles and I stated as much on the form. Yet that didn't stop the nurse there from coming over and telling me--in the public waiting room, mind, not in the private room where they were discussing test results with people--that "people like me" aren't allowed to give blood. When I told her that I had not checked the giving-blood box on the activity selection form, I had checked the never-had-sex-with-men box, and oh by the way there were probably some people two floors up who hadn't heard her and would she like to say that again a little louder, she apologized for misreading the giving-blood checkbox...but reiterated (loudly) that it's not allowed and that I shouldn't go try to give blood somewhere else, because I could be lying about not being a MSM.
Because if you're gay and you really want to give blood, you're obviously going to tell the truth about your orientation and then lie about your sex life. :smallconfused:
So basically I got to skip breakfast and give up my lunch break in order to be poked with needles, humiliated in front of my co-workers and manager, and unexpectedly outed to a bunch of people. My manager said he's going to file a complaint with the insurance company over the unprofessional conduct, but the damage is done; some of the co-workers who were present have expressed some not-exactly-gay-friendly views in the past, and when I ran into one of them later in the afternoon, instead of exchanging the usual friendly smalltalk she very unsubtly snubbed me.
Every Wednesday we have a catered lunch where the whole company eats together and gossips networks, so I guess I'll find out then how many of those coworkers who apparently skipped LGBT sensitivity training are still willing to talk to me. Tomorrow is going to be a looong day. :smallsigh:
Ouch, that's rough. I'm sorry. I certainly hope something's done about the insurance company's employees' conduct, not that you're likely to find out. How are your employers/the company about non-discrimination policies? I don't want to just expect a rough week or two, but from what you've said it sounds like that might be in store. Hope things work out alright.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
Ouch, that's rough. I'm sorry. I certainly hope something's done about the insurance company's employees' conduct, not that you're likely to find out. How are your employers/the company about non-discrimination policies? I don't want to just expect a rough week or two, but from what you've said it sounds like that might be in store. Hope things work out alright.
My employer has a fairly comprehensive non-discrimination policy and such training is mandatory for new hires, but someone's behavior would have to be a bit more blatant and repetitive than giving me the cold shoulder and cracking a few gay jokes before anything could really be done about it.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
My employer has a fairly comprehensive non-discrimination policy and such training is mandatory for new hires, but someone's behavior would have to be a bit more blatant and repetitive than giving me the cold shoulder and cracking a few gay jokes before anything could really be done about it.
Yeah, that's basically what I expected. Best of luck. Awkward surprise outings are always tons of fun.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well. Today sucked.
This morning at work we had a free sponsored medical clinic thingy where some healthcare people came in and gave flu shots, checked blood sugar, dispensed nutrition advice, did a normal checkup, and such. I'm not a fan of needles at all and would gladly have passed on it, but it's sponsored by my employer's insurance company as part of a Healthy Incentives program, and each thing you do gives you a discount on your insurance premiums for a year (up to 2/3 off if you do the maximum number of activities), so given the insurance prices around here I figured I could put up with my trypanophobia if it meant saving that kind of money. We had to fill out a bunch of forms beforehand, one of which had questions about relationship status, orientation, sexual practices, etc. for demographics and benefit eligibility purposes. (On a side note, I was impressed by the form; the questions dealt with more than just the gender binary, included most of the LGBTQA* in the orientation answers, and stuff like that.)
One of the possible activities was giving blood. Those of you familiar with US laws on the subject probably see where this is heading. :smallannoyed:
I answered all the questions honestly and figured that would be the end of it. Now, I haven't had sex before, with another male or otherwise. I don't have anything that would be communicable via blood donation, HIV or otherwise. I emphatically did not want to give blood today because eew needles and I stated as much on the form. Yet that didn't stop the nurse there from coming over and telling me--in the public waiting room, mind, not in the private room where they were discussing test results with people--that "people like me" aren't allowed to give blood. When I told her that I had not checked the giving-blood box on the activity selection form, I had checked the never-had-sex-with-men box, and oh by the way there were probably some people two floors up who hadn't heard her and would she like to say that again a little louder, she apologized for misreading the giving-blood checkbox...but reiterated (loudly) that it's not allowed and that I shouldn't go try to give blood somewhere else, because I could be lying about not being a MSM.
Because if you're gay and you really want to give blood, you're obviously going to tell the truth about your orientation and then lie about your sex life. :smallconfused:
So basically I got to skip breakfast and give up my lunch break in order to be poked with needles, humiliated in front of my co-workers and manager, and unexpectedly outed to a bunch of people. My manager said he's going to file a complaint with the insurance company over the unprofessional conduct, but the damage is done; some of the co-workers who were present have expressed some not-exactly-gay-friendly views in the past, and when I ran into one of them later in the afternoon, instead of exchanging the usual friendly smalltalk she very unsubtly snubbed me.
Every Wednesday we have a catered lunch where the whole company eats together and gossips networks, so I guess I'll find out then how many of those coworkers who apparently skipped LGBT sensitivity training are still willing to talk to me. Tomorrow is going to be a looong day. :smallsigh:
At least now you don't have to go through the struggle of trying to come out on your own? But yeah, that has really gotta suck. I'm sorry.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Yeesh, that sucks. Best of luck tomorrow with the lunch. Here's hoping you have some allies at work.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Oh gods that's miserable. Hopefully decent people outnumber jerks at your office.
*hugs*
That and it's new information. Give the gossip machine some time to chew on it, and then it'll find something else to focus its attention on as people get used to the idea. It's not perfect, but there's a good possibility that it will not be like day one all the time.
Good luck, hon
~Laura
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
My manager said he's going to file a complaint with the insurance company over the unprofessional conduct,
Definitely. Complain the **** out of her. It was incredibly rude and unprofessional, and a massive breach of confidentiality - in fact, was there a section on that form about privacy? I'd be surprised if there wasn't. That's ridiculous, and I hope it's made excruciatingly clear to that woman :smallmad: I just... RAWR! :smallfurious: I suppose I understand if you'd rather not, but I really, really hope you stick it to her in every means you have available, because my sense of justice demands it :smalltongue:
More immediately, I hope your coworkers get over it :smallfrown:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Thanks for all sympathy, guys. I'll keep you posted on how things go tomorrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
It was incredibly rude and unprofessional, and a massive breach of confidentiality - in fact, was there a section on that form about privacy? I'd be surprised if there wasn't.
There wasn't, actually, I just got a separate sheet after the examinations along with my results that outlined their patient confidentiality policy. I guess her little disclosure didn't break that because I didn't have the right piece of paper yet. :smallsigh:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
There wasn't, actually, I just got a separate sheet after the examinations along with my results that outlined their patient confidentiality policy. I guess her little disclosure didn't break that because I didn't have the right piece of paper yet. :smallsigh:
I doubt it. And in any case I'm pretty sure that's the sort of thing that should be made available at the start :smallannoyed:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Ouch, that sucks PairO'Dice. Firstly, I absolutely guarantee that what the blood lady did (at least how she told you) is a breach of professional ethics, and possibly grounds for her being fired if you bring it to her employers, because that is absolutely not cool. Secondly, yeah. After I first had sex with another man, I went to give blood and remembered at the last moment the "men who have sex with men" exclusion. It sucks. I'm not willing to lie to give blood, but I want to donate. The fact that you got called out on that ridiculous policy when you hadn't even tried to donate blood has to be just as painful. All my hugs.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well. Today sucked.
This morning at work we had a free sponsored medical clinic thingy where some healthcare people came in and gave flu shots, checked blood sugar, dispensed nutrition advice, did a normal checkup, and such. I'm not a fan of needles at all and would gladly have passed on it, but it's sponsored by my employer's insurance company as part of a Healthy Incentives program, and each thing you do gives you a discount on your insurance premiums for a year (up to 2/3 off if you do the maximum number of activities), so given the insurance prices around here I figured I could put up with my trypanophobia if it meant saving that kind of money. We had to fill out a bunch of forms beforehand, one of which had questions about relationship status, orientation, sexual practices, etc. for demographics and benefit eligibility purposes. (On a side note, I was impressed by the form; the questions dealt with more than just the gender binary, included most of the LGBTQA* in the orientation answers, and stuff like that.)
One of the possible activities was giving blood. Those of you familiar with US laws on the subject probably see where this is heading. :smallannoyed:
I answered all the questions honestly and figured that would be the end of it. Now, I haven't had sex before, with another male or otherwise. I don't have anything that would be communicable via blood donation, HIV or otherwise. I emphatically did not want to give blood today because eew needles and I stated as much on the form. Yet that didn't stop the nurse there from coming over and telling me--in the public waiting room, mind, not in the private room where they were discussing test results with people--that "people like me" aren't allowed to give blood. When I told her that I had not checked the giving-blood box on the activity selection form, I had checked the never-had-sex-with-men box, and oh by the way there were probably some people two floors up who hadn't heard her and would she like to say that again a little louder, she apologized for misreading the giving-blood checkbox...but reiterated (loudly) that it's not allowed and that I shouldn't go try to give blood somewhere else, because I could be lying about not being a MSM.
Because if you're gay and you really want to give blood, you're obviously going to tell the truth about your orientation and then lie about your sex life. :smallconfused:
So basically I got to skip breakfast and give up my lunch break in order to be poked with needles, humiliated in front of my co-workers and manager, and unexpectedly outed to a bunch of people. My manager said he's going to file a complaint with the insurance company over the unprofessional conduct, but the damage is done; some of the co-workers who were present have expressed some not-exactly-gay-friendly views in the past, and when I ran into one of them later in the afternoon, instead of exchanging the usual friendly smalltalk she very unsubtly snubbed me.
Every Wednesday we have a catered lunch where the whole company eats together and gossips networks, so I guess I'll find out then how many of those coworkers who apparently skipped LGBT sensitivity training are still willing to talk to me. Tomorrow is going to be a looong day. :smallsigh:
oh, that is seriously bad juju. Good luck tomorrow. And good luck with the complaint against breach of confidentiality. At least where i'm living, leaking personal information of any sensitive nature (medical information, discussions between lawyers and clients, etc.) is grounds bor a ban from the job or indeed industry.
On a different note I recently learned that only 1 or 2 months ago it was allowed to discriminate against Homosexuals in The Netherlands when it comes to giving blood. I mean, it's one thing to declare a group of people as having more risk to certain stuff and thus do more tests to be absolutely sure it's ok, but outright rejecting a group for their sexual or romantic preferences? That is just bad. I'm glad that is beïng changed. I mean, maybe 30 years ago the risk was much greater but after about 30 years people have caugt up on the whole STD thing right? You know, maybe Plato was right, we should have a technocracy.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Serpentine
Definitely. Complain the **** out of her. It was incredibly rude and unprofessional, and a massive breach of confidentiality - in fact, was there a section on that form about privacy? I'd be surprised if there wasn't. That's ridiculous, and I hope it's made excruciatingly clear to that woman :smallmad: I just... RAWR! :smallfurious: I suppose I understand if you'd rather not, but I really, really hope you stick it to her in every means you have available, because my sense of justice demands it :smalltongue:
More immediately, I hope your coworkers get over it :smallfrown:
What she said.
If I caught someone saying stuff like that in my section of Outpatients I would come down on them like a particularly vengeful ton of bricks. When you put on your hospital uniform, you leave your prejudices, etc at that front door. :smallmad:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
*terrible story*
Oh, I'm so sorry, Dice! Here's hoping that the majority of your co-workers are decent people! And you should definitely talk to your boss about that woman - like everyone else said, that's not only rude, but it's a major violation of privacy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
You are a real woman, Laura. Let no-one tell you otherwise.
But yes, I know those fears as well. *offers all the hugs*
This. I, uh, can't always say I don't worry the same thing, but if that's who you are, that's who you are!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
Ooh, I love Chaos Life. :smalltongue: And the lesbian 101 series have been pretty neat so far. There's general useful stuff about gender stereotypes in there as well.
:smallsmile: I really liked it, too! I should read more of that artist's stuff...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Astrella
Good luck tomorrow, Phoenix!
Thanks, I'll try my best...:smalleek: Now that the day is finally here, I'm jittery as...something that is really jittery!
~Phoenix~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Damn. The policy is already crappy, everybody knows that, but that nurse adds a whole layer of fail on top of that. :smallannoyed:
Complain. Loudly.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well. Today sucked.
WHAT! :smallfurious: Get that person fired! For feck's sake, isn't it bad enough that we still have this no-gays blood policy without coming down on essentially random gay people who happen to be nearby, which is what she did? Guess what? They screen all donated blood for HIV because to do otherwise would be extremely negligent.
Oh, I forgot to say I read Lesbians 101 and it's really cute and I love the first part about not being able to tell anyone's sexuality or preferences by how they look. My only issue was that they said that nowadays heteronormative couples split housework equally. That may be what people know should happen, but in the overwhelming majority of married couples, women do more of the housework than men. That article is British, but this appears to be true for any western country I've seen statistics for. This is partly, but not completely, explained by women being less likely to work outside the home, work fulltime outside the home, or earn as much as men, but even if it could all be explained by that, that's not really a good thing! Also the explanation goes backwards too; can you afford to go out networking to get that promotion if you have to get home to tidy the house and put on the dinner? This has been your daily feminist aside. :smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well. Today sucked.
Yeah. Complain. If nothing else you can scare the crap out of her, which may make her think twice before acting like a complete *******. Probably won't, but miracles sometime happen.
Kender... have you ever considered mixing the power of tea and whisky in one glass? Or would the power splinter the glass immediately?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
WHAT! :smallfurious: Get that person fired! For feck's sake, isn't it bad enough that we still have this no-gays blood policy without coming down on essentially random gay people who happen to be nearby, which is what she did? Guess what? They screen all donated blood for HIV because to do otherwise would be extremely negligent.
Oh, I forgot to say I read Lesbians 101 and it's really cute and I love the first part about not being able to tell anyone's sexuality or preferences by how they look. My only issue was that they said that nowadays heteronormative couples split housework equally. That may be what people know should happen, but in the overwhelming majority of married couples,
women do more of the housework than men. That article is British, but this appears to be true for any western country I've seen statistics for. This is partly, but not completely, explained by women being less likely to work outside the home, work fulltime outside the home, or earn as much as men, but even if it could all be explained by that, that's not really a good thing! Also the explanation goes backwards too; can you afford to go out networking to get that promotion if you have to get home to tidy the house and put on the dinner? This has been your daily feminist aside. :smallwink:
yeah lesbian 101 is funny, it probably tells you the state of sociëty if it needs a webcomic like that, but let's put that aside for now before the mods come a knocking at my door :smallwink:.
On de division of housework. I'm partly agreeing and partly not. that it happens doesn't make it bad. I admit to have seen a gender inequality between rewards etc. But on the other hand studies have shown that the difference is often put because women tend to go on a sebattical (so to speak) to have and raise kids. Most of the time the rewards like salary etc. are based on the amount of education, nature of the function and the amount of work experience in a given field. Now if Person A has less experience then Person B it could stand to reason that Person B gets a bigger reward. So my question is (one that is sadly rather hard to research): what part of the genderinequality is explained by a difference in work experience and difference in capabilities, and what part is to blame on us men beïng mysoginistic *******s (in general)?
One funny thing is the fact that some time ago, the women, through complaints of genderinequality, have gotten the reward for women's grand slam tennis raised to equal the men's reward. The thing is that, to win the trophy, the men have to play best of 5 versus the women's best of 3, which results in the women getting paid more per set played then the gents :smallbiggrin:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Well, I'll add to the mutual frustration at PairofDice's situation. What a [female dog]! Especially the "people like you" comment. That woman is just horrible. I hope people are willing to gossip with you and not about you.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Yeah... truth be told, taking care of the housework partially hinders my search for a work. On the other hand, BF has to work and study quite a lot, being a med student, so that I take care of the home is only the most optimal choice.
Honestly though, I feel it has almost nothing to do with my gender, and everything to do with the truckload of poor choices I've made all those years. If I had studied in a better field, or had not listened to some advice coming from my mother, I would already have a job. It's not so much my gender as my complete and utter lack of experience that keeps shoving me out of an office.
And yet, I was so pleased yesterday when BF randomly decided to clean the sink. It's much more motivating when both parties participate, even if it's only once in a while. :smallbiggrin:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
Ouch, that sucks PairO'Dice. Firstly, I absolutely guarantee that what the blood lady did (at least how she told you) is a breach of professional ethics, and possibly grounds for her being fired if you bring it to her employers, because that is absolutely not cool. Secondly, yeah. After I first had sex with another man, I went to give blood and remembered at the last moment the "men who have sex with men" exclusion. It sucks. I'm not willing to lie to give blood, but I want to donate. The fact that you got called out on that ridiculous policy when you hadn't even tried to donate blood has to be just as painful. All my hugs.
I think the "no sex with men" thing has been around since the '80s during the first HIV/AIDS scares, and the people in charge haven't kept up with improving screening techniques and stuff.
The Red Cross site seems really adamant that people who have used needles not prescribed by a physician not donate blood; they list that four times under "HIV/AIDS" and then a fifth time under "Intravenous drug use".
I only ever ran into the "a fit, 165-lb (75 kilos) sixteen-year-old guy can't donate because he's not eighteen, even though that 100-lb (45 kilos) girl who only worked up from that to 110 pounds by eating fast food all month can because she's eighteen" thing.
(I also don't know if I'm allowed because I've had Lyme twice; I don't think it's chronic, but every so often two of the spots I've had Lyme tick bites get inflamed and itchy. At least I'm not anemic anymore, but that only happened because of two months on drugs, first for Lyme, and then for the ulcer the first month of drugs caused.)
Can Europeans donate in Europe? None of you are allowed to donate here, and even people who've spent just a few months there can't.
The restrictions seem a little strict to me. Why can't people be tested for these things and come in with a doctor's note saying "this patient doesn't actually have x, y, or z"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
WHAT! :smallfurious: Get that person fired! For feck's sake, isn't it bad enough that we still have this no-gays blood policy without coming down on essentially random gay people who happen to be nearby, which is what she did? Guess what? They screen all donated blood for HIV because to do otherwise would be extremely negligent.
Well, I can understand not wanting to accept blood from somebody who knows they have whatever, a. because it's a waste of time and effort for both parties, and b. because to try to donate blood when you know you have a communicable and/or incurable disease is bad. But, excluding people who have no cause to think they have a disease is stupid and discriminatory. They accept blood from promiscuous and possibly unsafe heterosexual people, but not from monogamous gay men. It does seem that this year there's been a movement to reexamine and modify that outdated policy, though.
Quote:
Oh, I forgot to say I read Lesbians 101 and it's really cute and I love the first part about not being able to tell anyone's sexuality or preferences by how they look. My only issue was that they said that nowadays heteronormative couples split housework equally. That may be what people know should happen, but in the overwhelming majority of married couples,
women do more of the housework than men. That article is British, but this appears to be true for any western country I've seen statistics for. This is partly, but not completely, explained by women being less likely to work outside the home, work fulltime outside the home, or earn as much as men, but even if it could all be explained by that, that's not really a good thing! Also the explanation goes backwards too; can you afford to go out networking to get that promotion if you have to get home to tidy the house and put on the dinner? This has been your daily feminist aside. :smallwink:
Yeah, I did notice that bit and read it as a little idealistic and inaccurate.
If I were married to a woman, I'd want to pay for the house and bills myself but I'd also want to do all the housework myself. I'm bad at sharing things, including responsibilities (and also I want to make sure it's done right, because there's a right way and there's a wrong way to clean a toilet or wash the dishes). No idea how kids would factor in, but I approve of having one stay-at-home parent until the youngest kid is at least going to grade school for the day. And I'd both want to be the stay-at-home parent and the working parent. Maybe I should just clone myself and marry myself, then I'd know I was taking care of things.
Edit: Oh yeah. And women already have enough of a handicap without having additional household chores. I didn't realise it was still this bad even in academia. I was naively supposing academics were the educated, rational sorts who wouldn't continue to subscribe to old biases.
Oh, they recently figured out how to de-differentiate mature cells (skin cells or something) back into stem cells, then make those differentiate into eggs, and then grow healthy mice out of them. In a few years we won't need men or women, just a sample of skin tissue in a petri dish and an artificial womb. Which is kind of creepy because it'd be reminiscent of "Brave New World".
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Yeah. Complain. If nothing else you can scare the crap out of her, which may make her think twice before acting like a complete *******. Probably won't, but miracles sometime happen.
Kender... have you ever considered mixing the power of tea and whisky in one glass? Or would the power splinter the glass immediately?
That's a thing, and it doesn't splinter the glasses.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
That stupid nurse should be fired. Seriously. There's no way that can be ethical. :smallfurious: I don't generally advocate for people to lose their jobs, but man. This woman deserves a total ban on the healthcare industry. Even IF there were no confidentiality clauses in the paperwork... confidentiality is supposed to be key in their education. They're supposed to value it. What she did was just plain mean-spirited and I bet she likely is some kind of horrible homophobe. She doesn't deserve to work in the healthcare system with that kind of gross misconduct.
I hope your co-workers get over it, really. It might be a shock to some, but I do hope they're smarter than that. At least most of them.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Well. Today sucked.
(TIGHT hugs)
I guess you'll learn who's worth talking to at least? :smallfrown:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
I'm not allowed to donate blood either, but that's because I'm on psychotropic medication. Some of this stuff could really screw a person up if they got it without a habituation period and when they've just been operated on.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Ugh, I'm really sorry that happened to you, Pair. I hope you don't get too much backlash about it at work and that they can do something about the whole situation. :/
*all of the sympathies*
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Socratov
On de division of housework. I'm partly agreeing and partly not. that it happens doesn't make it bad. I admit to have seen a gender inequality between rewards etc. But on the other hand studies have shown that the difference is often put because women tend to go on a sebattical (so to speak) to have and raise kids.
The default response to "women get paid less or are less likely to get hired because they take time off for kids" is almost always "that is a good reason for women to get paid less or to not hire a woman". My response is "well men should get time off for kids too".
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
100% agreement there Serpy. Looking after a newborn is no holiday as my sister recently discovered. Offering men the opportunity to realise it's no holiday either will do more for sexual equality than any number of protests and pamphlets.
On the positive side though, my brother-in-law does actually have some officially recognised paternity leave, so he'll be there for sis and kiddo too. :smallsmile:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Yeah. Me and the wife are expecting another little one come January. And I can say that it is not fun, but at least she'll be able to get a couple of nights rest a week since I work overnights.
Also, Pair'o'Dice: it occurs to me that if this was under US law, as I believe you said, they would have been required by HIPPA to give you that information up front, and to allow you the chance to deny them from using that information in any public setting. If they did not, it is a serious breach of conduct, and would be grounds for a suit.* So I would really impress this upon that woman's supervisor, especially if you get a lot of harassment at work.
*I am not a lawyer and am therefore basing this opinion off of twenty some odd seasons of Law and Order, common sense, and a year of pre-law courses.