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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Knaight
The 574 count isn't to be trusted. We jumped from 259 to 300 earlier in the thread, and that's just one example of it getting off count.
Well, yeah, but that just makes it worse! :smalltongue:
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jormengand
Well, yeah, but that just makes it worse! :smalltongue:
That's a weird way to spell "1000x better."
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
621) Amulet of Bad Counting: Makes the wearer skip from 259 to 300 when counting
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jormengand
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Knaight
The 574 count isn't to be trusted. We jumped from 259 to 300 earlier in the thread, and that's just one example of it getting off count.
Well, yeah, but that just makes it worse! :smalltongue:
Okay, I've just checked what the actual count is (funnily enough, about half that particular jump is accounted for by prior skipped counting).
The Amulet of Bad Counting is actually #594.
Spoiler: Where it all went wrong(er)
Show
Not including instant-corrections:
2x #15
After #41 (unnumbered), count is reset to #28
After #33 (2nd), a third #29. Count continues with #34
2x #128, although the second is a correction of #114
2x #130, followed by #131 and five unnumbered ones. Count continues with #132. HOWEVER, after a second #140, this group of errors are corrected as of #149
After #157, count is reset to #156
#168 is skipped
#177 "remade" without an additional number. Count continues without including the remake
After #219, count is reset to #218
2x #236
After #259, count is set to #300
After #379 (unnumbered), count is set to #400
2x #458 (first unnumbered)
After #468, count is reset to #460
After #529 (unnumbered), count is set to #528
2x #537
2x #545 (first unnumbered)
#611 is skipped
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
So, what I'm hearing is that we might need a few more amulets of bad counting.
595) The amulet of bad counting: When worn, this amulet magically compels the nearest noble with sufficient authority to make you a count. Take a -10 (or whatever a nice big penalty is for the system in question) to every roll even tangentially related to statecraft.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
No no, the count is accurate. We had an item that ate all the items in the missing interval. We're good to go.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mister Tom
604. Goggles of minute seeing: these will protect the users eyes but take about 60 seconds to completely fog up.
Only 60 seconds? Much better than my glasses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rysto
609) The Boots of Cat-Like Aloofness
This grants the wearer the famed social skills of the common housecat. For example, when they want something from another character, they'll sit in the corner and stare at that character until they give in. If that doesn't work, they'll move on to repeated loud and annoying noises, and then finally lightly head-butting the character.
But it does grant the ability to kill commoners.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
Xzibit would be proud
610) Shirt of the Senpai: wearer will attract high school anime girls to them. Wearer will automatically succeed any diplomacy checks against them and act as if charm was permanently cast on them. While it may seem great, it gets 4d6 percent creepier every hour. If you are over 18, Lawful authorities, town guards, paladins, good-aligned Clerics, and Lawful and Good dieties will be standing by.
Hey, as long as they're over 16 I'm good!
###) Kawaii Ribbon: Senpai finally notices you!
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
###) Kawaii Ribbon: Senpai finally notices you!
597) Bracers of the Gaijin: Wearer must look up all anime terminology every time he wants to use it. Will think that Kawaii is just an island that is a part of Hawaii
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
Xzibit would be proud
610) Shirt of the Senpai: wearer will attract high school anime girls to them. Wearer will automatically succeed any diplomacy checks against them and act as if charm was permanently cast on them. While it may seem great, it gets 4d6 percent creepier every hour. If you are over 18, Lawful authorities, town guards, paladins, good-aligned Clerics, and Lawful and Good dieties will be standing by.
..... shut up and take my money.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kelb_Panthera
..... shut up and take my money.
I was just going to give it away anyway, I don't need anime schoolgirls camping outside of my fortress.
Also, I don't need it, Paladins always have high charisma. I could get a girl without it. Yeah... Totally... (In the background, voices singing the song "I am beautiful")
But seriously, take the shirt
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ReaderAt2046
I think you mean:
413: Pumpkin of Spontaneous Ontological Failure: What pumpkin?
612: Pumpkin of Spontaneous Ontological Manifestation: THIS ****ING PUMPKIN!!!
613: Orb of Apathy: Bearer generates an aura of Mundane Presence as a Beige Dragon of his or her Hit Dice. The Bearer is not immune to the effects of this aura.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
614. Cracked Orb: user loses hours due to reading articles.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
615: Gauntlet of the Red Warrior: Wearer feels compelled to shoot the food
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
#616?: Orb of Confusion - What is this orb? What do you mean it can't understand anything? Why is the orb sentient in the first place? What does confusion mean? Who are you anyway? Why aren't we actually sure what the number of this magic item is?
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
617: Orb of Bouncing: The orb continuously bounces up to the same height at the same place, cannot be moved
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
618. Sword in the Scone: ...you're not certain exactly how this makes you a king.
619. Orb of Vague: this item's use is kind of hard to define.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Sword in the Clone: A sword lodged into an exact copy of that sword
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
621: The Companion Cube. They're sentient, of course. We just have a lot of them.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord Torath
621: The Companion Cube. They're sentient, of course. We just have a lot of them.
622) The Companionless Cube: This Cube needs a friend
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
623) The Scone of Stone: You're not really sure how THIS makes you a king either. It's probably just made of plaster, anyways.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
624) Scone of Stone: A carved out rock in the likeness of a scone
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
625. The 'It's Scone': no matter how hard you try you cannot have this scone on your plate long enough to eat it.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Scone of Coldness: a Scone that is always slightly below room temperature
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SirBellias
623) The Scone of Stone: You're not really sure how THIS makes you a king either. It's probably just made of plaster, anyways.
I wonder if anyone else realizes that this is a discworld reference.
Item: Poisoned guillotine. Insures that targets will most certainly be poisoned,
Should they survive the...Oh, wait.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
IntelectPaladin
I wonder if anyone else realizes that this is a discworld reference.
Duh, I just thought I'd let it slide by. Thud, the scone has to be replaced occasionally, and speaking of which.
627. Chicken: probably useful for something, but THIS. IS. NOT. MY. COW!
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
156) Board of Hovering: A wood board that hovers 3 inches from the ground, cannot go over water or obstacles higher than 3 inches
secure a bottle of infinite water to it, secure your feet to it, and prepare to shred the desert on your new mode of transport :smalltongue:
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Try not to spill the bottle.
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
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627. Chicken: probably useful for something, but THIS. IS. NOT. MY. COW!
628) Chicken, other: Attacking the chicken will call a horde of invincible chickens that even the gods themselves fear to kill you
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Hazrond
secure a bottle of infinite water to it, secure your feet to it, and prepare to shred the desert on your new mode of transport :smalltongue:
"Hey...Rashid?"
"Yes, Lemek?"
"Do you recall this ocean being here?"
"Ocean? My friend, we are in the Kazzadi Desert!"
"That looks like an ocean to me."
"HOLY [EXPLITIVE][/EXPLITIVE]!!"
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Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
#615: Amulet of Bad Counting III: Will cause the wearer to automatically assume any number posted is the number that should be followed on from, regardless of what the last relevant number was.
#616: Ring of Random Death: Will cause death to become a random ailment for the wearer, giving a 1/20 chance of being either killed or revived in any given round. Cannot be removed (including from corpse) without use of a Wish spell or equivalent.
#617: Hat of Hulkspeak: WILL CAUSE WEARER TO SPEAK LIKE HULK. HULK KNOWS NOT THE USE OF PERSONAL PRONOUNS. WILL ALSO GIVE WEARER LOVE OF SMASHING.