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Long ago, at the conclusion of the Primordial War, there were twenty three defeated titans who begged for their lives at the feet of their conquerors rather than face death. At first, such a prospect seemed absurd, but the question arose of what the Exalted were to do after they finished reconstructing the shattered remnants of the world they had just laid waste to in the course of their battles.
Surely they would have palaces, and many harems, and go on epic adventures to the farthest reaches of reality and beyond. There was much discussion but, in the end, yes, these were the three things the Exalted truly wanted with their immortality and boundless power. Palaces, Harems, Adventure. And therein lay the problem. With so many harems, and so many adventures, when would they have time to raise their prestigious mountains of offspring? They certainly couldn't have tiny Half-Castes running around, cramping the style of their many palaces, and forcing their parents to use their free time teaching a new human life when they could otherwise be engaged fishing in the Deep Chaos or bungee jumping down that big hole in the Labyrinth.
And so it was that the Exalted exacted Surrender Oaths from the twenty three Primordials that still lived, slaying their king's Fetich Soul in the process, and transmuting them into the lowliest, most degrading form of life possible - High School Faculty.
The very fabric of existence yawned and tore apart as a new plane of being unfurled itself: Malfeas, the Public High School. Here, the young minds of Godbloods and Half-Castes would be molded into productive members of society (their bodies would be along for the ride, too, I suppose) so that their parents wouldn't have to take responsibility for them or their actions (and, for most female Exalts, the far more harrowing task of figuring out who the father was).
The Faculty
Malfeas, the Public High School: This fallen Primordial was twisted into an actual, living campus of flesh, bone, and brass. His body composes all of the structures beyond the inner border of Cecelyne, which can be difficult for many new students to get used to. Accordingly, he is also the janitor and groundskeeper.
Cecelyne, the Desert That You Must Walk Twenty Miles Uphill Through To Get To School Every Morning Which You Will One Day Lecture Your Kids About Because They Don't Know How Good They Have It: If you don't say the whole thing, you're mispronouncing her name and she gets very indignant about that. Cecelyne is the wasteland that separates Malfeas from the Dormitories, and no matter what form of transportation a student takes, or how fast they're moving, she always takes exactly 5 hours to traverse. First period starts at 8am sharp, which means students who do not wish to be tardy will have to wake up at 2am or so to get there on time.
As it is one of the first questions asked by freshman, no, you may not just sleep on campus. Cecelyne builds character.
Elloge, the Spherical Literature Professor: Students will have Elloge for Old Realm 101 as freshman, classical literature as sophomores, public speaking as juniors, and rhetoric as seniors. Despite being a sphere of pure madness, Elloge is rather popular among students for her laid back attitude. She is secretly an avid comic book collector, and will debate you into a gibbering shell of emptiness over which franchise is superior.
Hegra, the Typhoon of Visual Art Design (And Nightmares): Hegra teaches 2d Art to freshman (drawing/painting), history of art to sophomores, 3d Art to juniors (sculpting/film-making), and 4d and 5d art to seniors. After school, she runs the AV club and Art club, and every Calibration collaborates with Elloge to put on the School-wide Calibrationmas Play.
Kimbery, the Sea That Marched Against Your Lack of Appreciation for Home Economics: Anyone who has had an older sibling pass through Malfeas High will know not to sit in the front row of Ms. Kimbery's class, lest you increase your chances of becoming the Teacher's Pet - an occupation every holder has survived, but none of which have wished to. In addition to teaching Home Ec. 101 to freshman, and Culinary Arts 101 and 102 to sophomores and seniors respectively, she also presides over Drivers Ed. for juniors. One would think such a class wouldn't take a full school-year to learn but, by the end, students typically know how to parallel park an Indomitable Class Heavy Battlecruiser while doing a double helix off of a burning rooftop. Her appointment to this class is an awkward side effect of Sail being used for piloting.
She Who Lives In Her Name, the Principle of Mathematics: Inside her 99,997 spheres are everything you'll need to know about Algebra, Geometry, Calculus, and Trigonometry. And you'd better pay attention, because She doesn't appreciate repeating herself, yes you will use these things in real life, and no I cannot just shoot the information instantly into your brain with my mind bullets. Well, actually I could do that last one, but I enjoy watching you suffer.