I hope they've at least told their husbands that they can't get pregnant :smallconfused: Not very fair if not.
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Well... it has been quite a long time since I last posted here...
First of all, I want to welcome all our new friends, and give special hugs for Elynnia and Lolligiggle. It's good to have more experienced people around. :smallsmile:
Special hugs for Lykan and Gezina as well. Coming out of the closet, even in such way is never easy. :smallsmile:
Now, a small update on my situation...
After a few months with the full HRT pack (estrogen, anti-androgen and progestins), results started to become visible. I didn't really noticed it, but my ex roommate did, and that made her to become slight troubled with what was happening. I've told her several months before that I was TG and bisexual as well, and while she said it was okay, she was still in doubt.
So, when I went to spend a holiday with my parents a few weeks ago, she checked the computer for logs. With that she found the pictures I posted here and had a major breakdown as she realized it was for real. She simple couldn't belive that, even though I told her and always showed a mostly effeminated behavior while at home.
That made she decided to move, after living with me for 5 years. Let is be stated that we were engaged during the first 3 of those 5 years... and decided to remain living together as friends from there on.
We went through three massive and stressful weeks looking for a new place for her and preparing the moving, where I had to provide her with emotional support during many days when she couldn't stop crying or when she was too affraid to sleep, and that was a strange situation for me, being the only one able to support her and being the cause of her distress...
So, fast forwarding a bit, we moved yesterday. I moved with my brother, and she is living alone, a few blocks away from here.
Now that I'm living with my brother, I have started my real life test. I'm dressing and assuming a woman role while at home, and I'll start going out in girl mode far more often. And from a few weeks from now, I'll talk to my company partners to assume my TG condition and inform them that I'll be presenting to work as a woman from there on. With that I'll go full time.
It's not like I can hide it much longer anyway, my body is far more feminine now with breast size nearing A cups. I'm having trouble passing as man most of the time... :smalleek:
Hopefully, I'll get to have my SRS before 2009 ends.
Also, I have to get used to live with a man once again, after sharing a place with a woman for so long... Yesterday I had a most shocking experience... for the first time in years I went to the bathroom and found the toilet lid up... I was shocked with that, but I guess I'll have to get used to that... :smallconfused:
Regarding relationships and dates, I'm happy to say I'm with Amber, known here as Vael by most of the people, for about two months. I'll definitly go to the US visit her soon. Kisses, my beloved Amber. :smallsmile:
Well... that's all I have to say now. Sorry for being absent in this thread for so long, and sorry for not being of much help for most of the recent posters lately. I was sorting out... something... :smallfrown:
And sorry for this very long post...
Hugs,
Beatrice.
I'd like to welcome to all the new faces as well!
Wow, SMEE... sorry to hear about your friend, and I'm sorry the situation put so much stress on you.
Good luck with your "real life test". I hope it goes well for you all around.
Also congratulations to you and Vael, I wish you both the best :smallbiggrin:
SMEE: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you don't have to apologize for putting your life in front of a forum thread. We all love you, and you've been a fantastic help to a lot of people (most especially me... :smallredface: ), but life waits for no one, and when it comes down to it, you just have to take care of yourself.
Of course, you being you, you also took that time to take care of someone else. :smalltongue: :smallsmile: I'm glad to see you back here, though. I hope things smooth over between you and your former roommate, and wish you luck as ever as you move forward with your transition... *hugs*
Take it from me- this is completely, absolutely true. It's still hard for me to think about and work out in my mind, but it's better than going through the kind of breakdown I had when I first admitted it all to myself.
And thanks, LightWraith. ^-^"
In the latest installment of grief with my mother... she got a haircut today. I noticed- wasn't entirely impressed with it, didn't think much of it, so I elected not to say anything.
Well that turned out to be a bad idea.
She didn't insult me, exactly, I'm not even sure she thought about what she was saying, but it hurt nonetheless. After remarking on my lack of comment, and hearing my rather vague excuse that avoided my opinion on the subject, she decided to remark that "if she had had a daughter..." and then went on about how a daughter would have commented and understood things from her point of view in all these different areas (starting with noticing and complimenting her on her hair.)
I think people can understand why that got under my skin.
I really, really need to leave this house.
SMEE - congrats and best wishes on your RLT! You'll be done with it in no time at all!
Hi all - I'm posting the following as a community service in the hopes that it might be of help to anyone following this thread. Feel free to ignore.
On January 24th, 2008, I and a group of colleagues gave a panel discussion at Stanford University as part of the Transfigurations Tour. Transfigurations is a very well-done portrait display of both male-to-female and female-to-male transsexuals, including their individual statements on what transition has meant for them in their lives. It is not sensationalistic in any way, indeed, it is perhaps the most moving and humanizing work I've ever seen put together on the transsexual community. I am honored to be a part of it. It is something I recommend viewing for anyone who is trans, or has a friend or loved one involved with the transsexual community, or is even simply just trans-curious. Warning to minors - it does contain some black and white pictures of full frontal male-and-female nudity.
This discussion was hosted by the Gender Studies group at Stanford, directly presented by the host of the show Jana Marcus, and included myself and three others, another male-to-female and two female-to-males. The first half of the presentation was Jana talking about the show, the second half is question-and-answer from the audience. I've attached a link here of where this video is available on the Internet:
http://deimos3.apple.com/WebObjects/...4?i=1568432703
For those that are interested, I first appear at 34 minutes into the overall film. I'm sitting in the middle - the blondish one with the dark green blazer.
This is an ITunes-only video - if you haven't already, you will have to install ITunes to view it.
The Transfigurations show itself is a fantastic thing and has been touring the country in various forms for years. I've been attached as a speaker for the last year, now and then travelling around the country to speak about my experience with the show and simply with being trans. Next stop that I know of is in the fall, we're all headed for the University of Illinois, to a town called "Normal"...which seems an entirely appropriate venue for us to speak at as far as I'm concerned.
Further information about the show and a wonderful display of SOME of the artwork in it is available at the links below, I highly recommend checking it out!
http://www.janamarcus.com/docus/Tran...tion/index.htm
http://www.janamarcus.com/docus/docus.htm
On a purely personal note - wow, I've never seen myself that way before! I had no idea I batted my eyes that much! I don't even know when I do it! Geez! Well, I was nervous, as always...
...*hugs*...that's really awesome. Thank you for sharing with us.
Just popping in to say, SMEE: Congratulations - I'm glad that you're well on your way to SRS. :smile:
Wow, thanks for sharing Lolligiggle. Those images are completely amazing, the changes are breathtaking. I've never seen changes to such a degree. That's wonderful. And by the way, you look great.
To the extent that it matters, I actually purchased a few outfits over the past week... Despite the fact that I look like a freak in them, I still love how it makes me feel. It saddens me I will be unable to get anything else for quite a while.
So, just out of curiosity, where does one get the code for a "straight but not narrow LGBT supporter" sig line thing? Cause that's the category I'd fall under.
Well, you could just right click the image and look under properties... or use the following link which I obtained with that method.
http://www.smeenet.org/images/LGBTitP.gif
Ah, thanks! Fun facts are duly updated.
That's awesome to hear, Lykan. I still hold on to my original outfits because not only do they leave me all nostalgic and remind me of how far I've come, but they still look great!
And welcome to The Journey! It's scary and unknown, but filled to the brim with personal discovery and happiness!
One thing that sticks in my memory from one of my psychology classes (psychology of human sexuality, coolest college class ever!) is the day we had several transgendered people and their significant others (if they had them) come in and talk with us. I remember one lady (mtf) and her wife, and the wife self described as a "(lady's name)sexual." She was with her before during and after the change. She loved her, not just the form she was in. If you find that one special person, and they care enough about you, your physical form should not matter to them as long as you are happy with who you are.
Hi everyone.
I'm a teenager, and a lesbian. I've known about it for a while. I grew up as a tomboy...skateboarding, reading, and playing video games while the other girls were having girly sleepovers.
I've been wanting to start dating, but I live in one of the most conservative areas of the united states. Almost no one is open about it where I live. I don't really have alot of friends that are girls because as soon as they find out I'm gay, they sort of distance themselves.
A month ago I met a girl two years older than me, and it almost turned into something...but I called her a week later and she said I was too "immature and childish," for her :smallfrown: .
I'm not really that experienced with dating, and one of my friends said I needed a girl as inexperienced as I was, or who wouldn't mind if I was a little shy...but I don't even know where to start looking for that girl :/. It just seems as I get older that most girls have had alot of partners already and I just get left behind. It's been really depressing me lately.
As for the rest of you, I hope you all find happiness...you deserve it :smallsmile: .
Soooo...it's been a while. Spring Break is approaching, and on Saturday, I'm hoping to be able to finally tell my mom that I'm gay. I've been out to my friends for a good while, and it's gotten to the point where I no longer actively hide it so much as...well, I mean, I don't flaunt it. I get a couple shocked reactions every now and then from new people, because I "don't act gay." I've put off telling my mom and dad for a long while, and I hope I don't chicken out again.
Largely because I think this particular issue is a big part of the mental block that keeps me from feeling really comfortable with being gay...then again, it may also be the fact that I'm almost 20, and I've never been in a relationship of any kind, never been on a date, never gotten kissed.
Yeah...lovely.
Anyway, I'll let you all know how it goes (or, depending on circumstances, doesn't go).
Atheistina, are you in high school? If you're going to university, I think you'll find it to be a wide new world. It's the place for experimentation, exploration, self-discovery and self-development (not saying people who don't go to uni don't do these things, but it's a concentrated cookpot of people at the same time of life just starting to get to know who they really are). Be patient for that, I think you'll find it a lot easier there.
Hey, just thought I'd drop a post on the thread
I'd always considered myself straight, but recently I've been juggling the possibility that I'm sort of Bi, if you know what I mean - I definitely fancy girls first and foremost, but theres a nagging little undertone.
The thing is, I don't really know. I couldn't care less if decided I was or not, it's just not being sure of myself that bugs me. I imagine that getting with a guy might help, but I don't really fancy any specific guy really. The only gay guy who I knew who I would be praperd to experiment with moved away and I lost contact. Damn this flux
Ah well. Such is life
And yes, yes it is. Even if I spend most of the time playing Dnd or browsing the net.Quote:
If you're going to university, I think you'll find it to be a wide new world. It's the place for experimentation, exploration, self-discovery and self-development
I consider myself "straight but flexible", and think sexuality rarely strictly adheres to the extremes, if that helps at all.
It's funny because your avatar is a snake personQuote:
I consider myself "straight but flexible"
...
:biggrin:
I never thought of that.
Terrible jokes are my specialty
Well, I just wanted to drop in and apologize for having let "gay" slip into my vocabulary as an insult a few years ago. I blame my older brother and my lack of exposure to the gay community, but it's still a callous thing to do. I'm trying to do my part by claiming to be gay when people in online games with me call me gay, then soundly beating some of the stupid out of them.
However, I'd like to note that I don't really care about you guys. Not in a bad way, I just don't see gay people as different; as far as I'm concerned, you are all just people, and I'm not even likely to care about your sexual preference even if you were to tell me. That's exactly why I get angry at people being "homophobic", it just doesn't make sense to me why they're being so rude, and it pisses me off because they're just causing problems for everyone.
Hopefully that made sense. I have trouble expressing my philosophies with words. I pretty much reserve words for puns, misc. humor, and antagonistic debate. Maybe I should think of an analogy, those generally work better.
Yeah, I'm a senior in high school. I was hoping also that I would find more girls there, but I was kind of worried they'd be more experienced than me. Like I said, I don't have alot of dating experience because of the scarcity of openly gay people, so I don't really have confidence in that area.
I sort of took the romantic approach...I've always kind of been kind of a romantic. I got my first and only girlfriend flowers and treated her respectfully like she said she wanted me too...and she promptly cheated on me after two weeks with some guy from her work. :smallmad:
I feel like a blind man trying to weave a carpet...I have no idea wtf girls want or how to act...I mean they say they want you to be chivalrous but then they dump you or blow you off anyway. At least the ones I met did. :smallsigh:
I mean I thought I wouldn't have any trouble understanding girls...oh how wrong I was :smallannoyed: . I keep trying not to get cynical but it's really hard :[.
Hopefully once you hit university or community college you'll find some more people, as Serp said. I know I found a college that had a small section of it devoted entirely to LGBT, and many of them were women (formerly men) or women who gender-identified male, and the random smattering of experimental bi's. I doubt your going to find a place that open very quickly, but I also don't doubt you'll find some place that'll clear your head and your thoughts a bit.
Don't get too frustrated Atheistina. It gets better.
I went all the way through high school without gaining any kind of romantic experience myself. Or anything even approaching it. For that matter, I only know one guy who had a relationship with another guy in high school, and I'm not even sure if that was common knowledge or whether it was a romantic relationship or just a physical one.
I was also the only out student at my school though, so that made a difference.
So don't be in a hurry. I know it sucks, I've been there. It'll happen.
On a related note, I think I have a date. I invited him over for dinner, which my mother will be cooking in her typical overkill fashion. He's been a friend of mine for a while, but we've been getting closer recently.
At least.. I think we've been getting closer. That's where the emphasis on think comes in. He's pretty friendly by nature, so he might have considered it just a friendly invite. I know that's not the way I intended it, but I've never asked anyone out before, so I'm not sure if that was clear.
I guess I'll have to see. I'm calling him tomorrow to confirm the day/time, and then whatever happens happens.
I'm pretty excited regardless. I'll be sure to keep ya'll updated.
So, 25$ a session of therapy for me. I got the first time free.
There's a major council and support group with two of their own buildings for LGBT.
I did not expect this from Salt Lake City. Weird.
Ohhh! Those are great news, Reina. :smallsmile:
I definitly wasn't expecting that as well... :smalleek:
But it's good to know that things are moving for you as well. :smallsmile:
Hugs,
Bea.
Thank you for the advice everyone.
I hope I didn't sound too whiny...I know everyone has problems like that. But it gets hard sometimes, especially since I also deal with severe depression.
I mean I'm not even completely out to my family...only my mom knows. She's a sweet lady. I'm afraid of telling my brothers because they constantly make homophobic comments. My dad came from a conservative religious background.
and it just struck me the other day...I remember when I told my mom, I asked her why she looked so serious. She told me it was a big deal.
I just thought...*why* is it such a big deal? So I like girls....so what? I think my sexuality is a small thing about me, and it shouldn't define all of who I am.
*hugs*...well, if you ever need someone to chat up when you're depressed, my PM box is open, or hit my up on AIM.
...as for coming out, I've no experience there...*hugs*...good luck.
...and it shouldn't be a big deal. It really shouldn't. It's a shame that's the world we live in. :smallfrown:
My heart goes out to the high-schoolers who have to deal with it. I got off pretty easily being a little scrawny, but even graduating in 2001 was long ago enough that I'd hope things were a better affair by now.
Can't say I understand the struggle but I do wish you the best. :smallsmile:
Dude, I know what you mean. I finished sixth form last year, but if I'd have suggested that I might fancy boys as well, I'd have lost a lot of friends.Quote:
My heart goes out to the high-schoolers who have to deal with it
Meh. Uni's better. Everyones afreak, so you stand out less :smallwink:
I am not L,G,B, or T. But I am mocked, teased, and taunted on the suspicion of being one. I go to a real conservative, private Christian school. Of course almost none of those words describe the kids that go there. They are incredibly mean and there is alot of touching and feeling going on between the girls and boys on a regular basis. There is one boy who is gay who came out to some of his closest friends who told people I guess. I am not exactly sure how the rest of the school found out but they did. And he was a complete and utter outcast. I was one of the few boys didn't tease him and also happened to be one of the few boys who had no open intrest in the girls at our school. ( As I have already stated I am not L,G,B, or T the girls are simply too loose for my tastes.) I hated to see him suffer like that. So I started hanging out with him. He became a close friend. One day when he was being picked on especially bad I stood up for him. That combined with my ( lack of) intrest in the girls at my school have earned me consant teasing and ostracizing at school along with constant jeers and accusations that I am gay and my friend and I are romantically involved. Apparently open-mindedness is now gay.
I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with that, but you are doing the right thing. Some people just suck.
That kind of rampant homophobia is usually more indicative of the person doing the harassing than the harassee.
Just stick with your friend, I guarantee it means a lot to him.
------------------------------------------
On a completely non-related note. I had my date mentioned above last night. We had a huge dinner then watched/made fun of a series of really bad movies on the Sci-Fi Channel (Seriously... have you ever watched Sci-Fi on Saturday nights? *shudder*). Lots of almost cuddling. Much fun was had.
At the end of the night I walked him out to his car and we ended up kissing, so I'd say it was definitely a date. A good date at that.
/me is Happy :smallbiggrin:
Another thing that bothers me is that all the boys in the school seem sure than me and my friend have crushes on them. For some reason they seem to think that being gay doesn't mean you are attracted to people of the same sex as you, it means you are a sexual deviant who is sexually attracted to EVERYONE of the same sex.
Also I am only in 7th grade. High school would be much worse me thinks.
That's great news, Lightwraith!
And corrupted one, i'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation. I sometimes get accused of being gay (I'm bisexual, gorramit.), but it's really only one small-minded little idiot. You'll learn to phase the kids out, but alas, the presumption that gay guys "Have a crush on every boy" seems to be universal in the world of children and adolescents.
It might be the case, too, but so many of them are so horribly unattractive in both personality and appearance, it's shocking anyone likes them at all.
C'est la vie, one supposes.
Just wanted to update with a little bit of news. I have a couple of appointments left with the sperm bank (since I want to have biological children in the future) and then I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday to which the much sought after first prescription will be given to me. I'm feeling pretty excited since this is a LONG time coming and I wanted to tie all loose ends before going into this.
And now a question...Do any of the other transfolks here want to have biological children? Or children in general? And based on your experiences, what will you do in terms of raising them?
Oi, Dryken, congratulations!
And to answer your question, I do want to have children in the future, preferably biologically mine, but I don't know what I'd do about raising them. It would be awkward, I think. First I'd have to find someone to raise them with me, as I certainly don't want to be a single parent. It wouldn't even have to be a significant other, just someone well balanced that I could put up with every day.
I know I don't want to even attempt to have kids until I'm financially secure enough to home school them. I had enough problems of my own in school, and I can't imagine what it would be like for kids whose peers found out their parents were "freaks." But then again, I found out recently that having unchecked diabetes for so long may have made me sterile. So it may be a moot point. *sigh*
morbid
Thanks Kael and Az. I've been smiling all day today, despite it being the last day of Spring Break. It's a weird feeling. :smallsmile:
It made for a nice end to my Spring Break.
As far as the children question, I'm not among the transfolk, but I'll answer anyway, since it's a good question. I honestly don't know whether I want children of my own. I'm not even remotely close to the point in my life where I can think about stuff like that.
If I do, I'll probably adopt... my genes are all sorts of screwed up, no sense passing them on when there are other valid options.
*shrug* Like I said, no idea.
Oh and yes, I can backup the other comments that straight guys seem to think all gay guys are interested in everyone of the gender. When I first came out I had several people ask me if I had a crush on them, simply because I was friends with them before I came out. Oddly, none of the straight guys who I could have been said to crush on asked me. It's a strange world.
We have another anonymous needing our insight, my friends.
I'm about to leave to work. I'll comment on this later on the day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Person
And those are great news Dryken.
I ought to have biological children myself, but being sterile doesn't really help my case.
Still, I'm looking for options regarding pregnancy... I'll pretty much offer myself as a guinea pig if I can find a doctor willing to try such.
Hugs,
Bea.
Anonymous,
It really depends. But if you're sure that you're transsexual, I have to say "be a girl". Trying to be someone you aren't meant to be will be difficult, to say the least, and there is no shortage of gay girls (OK, straight girls are far more common, but the point stands).
Ah, my heart goes out to the anonymous. However, I think this situation is not so bad for you. In my experience, women on the queer spectrum have very flexible sexualities. I hear very often about the bisexual and homosexual female partners of transwomen. And I frequently run into transmen whose lesbian partners stayed with them all throughout transitioning. This is interesting to me ... I think that it really is the person inside that counts with most women. So transgendered people who are attracted to women are lucky in that. It seems to be a lot harder with, say, gay FtMs. I honestly think that your dating pool isn't that much smaller than that of a cisgendered homosexual woman. Especially since there are a metric ton of lesbians who like tomboyish women, butch women.
Once you start trying to pass, maybe hang around LGBT groups and this sort of thing. I think you'll probably find a good woman soon.
First Disclaimer:
SpoilerLong time supporter of groups like these, heterosexual male. Felt like dropping by with a response:
Well, Anon. Its simple. You don't. Just liek you didn't sit there in the womb and say "Dear God, I love this female brain o' mine, but can't you give me a boy's body? That would be swell!".Quote:
Originally Posted by Good Ol' Anonymous
Second Disclaimer:
SpoilerNo offense intended to the religious, non-religious, and no making assumptions into Anon's religion. I don't belief in a classic, Christian God, myself, and the above is simply a turn of phrase
Now, I definatly cannot begin to say "I know how you feel." (Read first disclaimer), however, I can say that I have a friend, whom I venture at times to call my best friend who is also Trans, and hes having the same difficulties (although he is a "guy", brain-wise, and these difficulties are compounded by still being physically female).
He and I have come to the conclusion that Humans being what Humans are, and Love/Lust being what Love/Lust is, you don't have to choose. Somebody who loves you will Love you regardless of your body and parts, whereas those who lust will be after your body (And most Love starts as Lust, anyway), when you do acquire girl-parts, you will attract girls who are interested in girl-parts.
You don't have to choose, beyond wheather or not you want to be comfortable in your body.
Third Disclaimer
SpoilerI am not a professional of any kind (In fact, I'm probably showing my ignorance in this matter) , and simply tried to share my thoughts in the least offensive manner possible, treading on light ground with my selection of words, phrases, and puncuation. If I have offended you, Anon, or anybody reading. Please sned me a PM and I will be glad to ammend this post
Let's see, erm.... I come from rural, catholic, conservative Ireland. I go to a "mixed" school (99.9% Catholic 0.01% Protestant) I've known I was gay for quite some time now but only in recent weeks have I begun to accept it. (Still not quite all the way yet but I'm getting there :smallbiggrin:)
The thing is, I'm the joker in my group and one of the running gags is I'm Gay :smallredface: (Don't get me wrong, it is most definately a case of laughing with rather than at) And while my friends are ok with my making jokes, I think that they would be uncomfortable if they knew. I spent three years being ostracized and bullied for no apparant reason. I'm not coming out and handing ammo to the bigots.
I'm not telling my family either, there was enough trouble when I told two members (self-professed agnostic/athiests respectively) that I was a Pagan and I'd have considered that relitively acceptable.
So that's my situation at the moment. Roll on college.
Actually, since this is a D&D site I thought I'd mention. Coming to terms with my sexuality has improved my characters. I always play male characters but I find it difficult to play masculine males. Fighter types etc. However, recently I wrote a character who was both masculine and gay and I am a lot more comfortable playing him. (Although sexuality isn't really an issue in our campaign, understanding and identifying with him makes it easier to roleplay him.)
--------------------------------------------------------------
This is an excerpt from the poem Two Loves written by Lord Alfred Douglas, the lover of Oscar Wilde. I found it helped me come to terms with my sexuality and understand that I wasn't alone.
Spoiler"...But he that was his comrade walked aside;
He was full sad and sweet, and his large eyes
Were strange with wondrous brightness, staring wide
With gazing; and he sighed with many sighs
That moved me, and his cheeks were wan and white
Like pallid lilies, and his lips were red
Like poppies, and his hands he clenched tight,
And yet again unclenched, and his head
Was wreathed with moon-flowers pale as lips of death.
A purple robe he wore, o'erwrought in gold
With the device of a great snake, whose breath
Was fiery flame: which when I did behold
I fell a-weeping, and I cried, 'Sweet youth,
Tell me why, sad and sighing, thou dost rove
These pleasent realms? I pray thee speak me sooth
What is thy name?' He said, 'My name is Love.'
Then straight the first did turn himself to me
And cried, 'He lieth, for his name is Shame,
But I am Love, and I was wont to be
Alone in this fair garden, till he came
Unasked by night; I am true Love, I fill
The hearts of boy and girl with mutual flame.'
Then sighing, said the other, 'Have thy will,
I am the love that dare not speak its name.'"
------------------------------------------------------
EDIT: Yikes! It's only just hit me, I just openly said I'm gay for the first time. :smalleek: :smallbiggrin:
Welcome to the thread Draemr :smallsmile:
I'm sorry to hear that you're stuck in the closet over there, but it can occasionally be for the best. You should only come out when you are ready.
College is indeed a popular time for that, so if you're worried about repercussions at home and school, by all means wait.
Oh, and to spoiler something, do the following:
[ spoiler]Stuff to be spoiled[ /spoiler]
Take out the spaces and that's it.
Hope that helps!
Uhh..I know I don't necisarly belong here. but hey, I gots a story too!
My biggest idol in life has been David Bowie since I was a young age, and despite being a raging fan of his music, we have quite a bit in common...
Basically, through-out most of my teenage years (Now being 20 and settled with the missus) I was a closet heterosexual.
I've dated a few guys, had some run ins and stuff like that, but as I grew older, I knew I was just straight
To echo everyone else - you don't. You are who you are and that comes first - be true to yourself and you will find somebody who loves you for who you are in time.Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good Ol' Anonymous
I'm a transsexual. I've grown to accept that fact over the past few months, but lately I have doubts that I really want to go through with it because I am still attracted to women, and if I were to be a woman, the amount of ladies that would actually may like and would like me in return would be severely limited. I know I'm young (teenager), but I still can't shake the feeling that I'm never going to find someone if I transition.
How do you choose between being with a girl and being a girl?
Or how about this for an alternative: <cue old geezer voice> back in my day, when I was a teenager dreaming of transition I concluded that transition was an impossibility AND I would never be with anyone, because the thought of being with anyone who wanted me as a guy was really a huge turnoff for me. I grew resigned to that.
Cue lots of high-schooler social abuse b.s. about me being gay, because I was into theatre, kinda femme and not into dating. So I took it upon myself to prove I *wasn't* gay. Oops. One thing leads to another, fast-forward fifteen years and wow, married with kid - and while I dearly love my daughter, the fact that my life was built on not being myself was a tragedy waiting to happen.
Don't put yourself through a nasty wake-up call years down the line, when you might end up disrupting not just your life but the lives of those you love.
Be yourself now, whatever that ends up being for you - and there are plenty of women out there who will love you for it.
Best wishes!
I had my daughter back when I was still trying to make it work as a guy. I also banked sperm prior to transition - note to MtF transitioners, bank sperm BEFORE you go on hormones for best results!
That said, since I'm now divorced I split time with my Ex in raising and being with my biological daughter pretty much like any divorced couple would. Of course, I'm not "mom" to her, I'm "babby" in public (our made-up word) and that's just fine too - it's a relationship she and I are defining with every passing month as she gets older, I don't think there's any socially well-established roadmap for this one.
I'm getting to the upper end age-wise of where I'd want to have a baby again, and it could possibly be with a partner and my banked sperm, but I'm less and less concerned about the need for a child to be biological. I'd be really very fine with adopting or even possibly coming into a relationship as a step-mom. I simply know I wouldn't want to raise a child through another divorce situation - I think perhaps because I lack it at present, with any new child that came into my life I really want to be a full-time mom.
Oh, and as an addendum - I dated a FtM guy for awhile and we got to the point of seriously talked about having biological kids - he still had his ovaries/uterus and was willing to conceive and carry a baby to term via artifical insemination using my sperm. But he was very firm on my being mom and taking that kid in my arms the *second* it was done baking. He, of course, would've been happy as dad...funny how the world can provide perfect symmetry even for us trans-folk. :smallamused:
*Jumps into thread*
This is pretty much the only reason I've ever been hesitant about telling people that I'm bi. I'm not worried that my friends will treat me badly, just that they'll treat me differently, like my sexuality is such a big deal it means I'm a completely different person all of a sudden. To be honest that's probably just me being paranoid, though.Quote:
I just thought...*why* is it such a big deal? So I like girls....so what? I think my sexuality is a small thing about me, and it shouldn't define all of who I am.
It really shouldn't be a big deal, at least not for people who know you, no more than any other secret you may or may not have kept from them.
And also, Hi! *Waves at everyone*
I feel a bit strange posting in this thread for the very first post on the board, but then again it is the thread that made me decide to actually register after months of lurking. Partly it is to give myself the push to actually join the boards here and partly it was to show support for the initiative behind the thread. Of course it was above all for an opportunity to tell my story in a coherent manner, something that is hard to do to my friends and family because they have been part of large amounts of it.
Like most stories belonging in this thread, and especially most of those that like mine tie primarily or exclussively to the T part, my story begins at a young age. The first signs of my not being male would be some that happened as i was just a toddler, among the quirks i had back then was a refusal to use the men's toilets when in public and my favorite toy was a classic babydoll.
As i grew older it become more and more obvious to me that i was different than other boys. Not only did i hate sports and was friends with several girls as the only person with a Y chromosome in my kindergarten, i also refused to stand up and pee feeling slightly sick at the thought. It even reached the point where i wondered if i was really a girl, though my anatomical knowledge as a six year old told me that girls didn't have penises so it couldn't be true.
That piece of wondering would come up through-out the next twelve years of my life. I grew up as a rather socially dysfunctional geek who secretly obsessed over things such as the girdle of masculinity/feminity or Elminsters time as a woman in the rather poor novels by Ed Greenwood, often wishing for something like that happening to me but always repressing it quickly. A tactic i used in my teens was to insist to myself that it was merely sexual and not that i was truly transgendered, even as a voice in the back of my head said that if i got the opportunity to become female i would accept and never turn back.
I think that part of why it was so hard to accept for me was because i had seen numerous tv documentaries about transgendered people and as intrigued i was, the sensationalist tone of the shows scared me. They did not aim to make people understand a troubled minority, instead they just presented a group of people who were different like exotic zoo animals. And i did not want to be an exotic animal for people to look at. Another aspect of why it scared me was because the women in said shows seemed to be picked to look as masculine as possible to heighten the value of them being exotic. What i dreamed about was not being a man in a dress, but being a girl and those shows made that seem impossible.
As i grew older repressing it became harder for me and the quality of the information i found about the topic grew much better. Which led me to accept it enough to decide to explore my feelings on the matter instead of repressing them. By the next spring i reached the conclussion that there was something more and even if living as a girl would in the end turn out not to be the right thing for me, i would need counseling. So i saw my doctor to get an appointment for a psychiatrist, the only way to get such an appointment in Denmark, learning that there was a one-year wait. Over that year i told most of my friends as well as my parents about my issues.
The year of waiting for the psychiatrist and my few discussions with him convinced me that i was truly transgendered. Shortly afterwards i started accumulating girl's clothes and dressing female while at home, searching my feelings in search of absolute certainty. Being the mix of lazy and cautious that i am with most important issues it took me over a year to buy enough clothes to be able to live as a girl. When i had it, however, i came out to my sisters, my extended family and just about everyone else who didn't already know and started living as a girl this january, just a week after my 22 birthday.
And in the flurry of changes this has brought i got my doctor's appointment to go with the one the psychiatrist had written to be able to go to the national gender center. I had my first appointment there yesterday, one that started with the therapist saying that i appeared very feminine. This was just reassuring given how important it is for me to not just see myself as a girl, but to be seen that way by others.
My entire family and my friends have been supportive of my changes, even my conservative old grandfather who typically only talks about the greatness of his ancestors and why Germans and Muslims are evil. About the most negative reactions i have had has been one of my friends who keeps slipping up on what pronoun to use and who keeps saying "he" instead of "she". Everybody agree that i seem more relaxed and self-confident than i used to, my father even commenting that my movements seem much less nervous than before my change.
Ummm...and sorry about my vanity in going on about this when there is no real need for me to tell my story in a thread dedicated to giving support. It even seems to be easing my loneliness, though i haven't had many opportunities to meet new people since starting to live as a girl and i won't get any before i return to school this summer.
*hugs Terra*...aww...don't feel bad about talking about yourself!
...also, it's lovely to hear that all those people close to you support you like that. *smiles*