-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
You have obviously never heard of the BoEF
If a DM opens that book, run
or sit down, depending if you want to play with those rules, but don't expect anything good to happen when you walk into a temple of Aleister
Eh, the BoEF actually handles it rather well for an entire book on the subject (for that matter, the games that do mention it in their cores seem to do it rather well, although generally without mechanics). What I was getting at is that it's very rare for a game to give rules for conception chances and gestation periods, even if it gives rules for the act nurturing the character's chi or whatever (for the record, in the game that's from it's probably the worst possible method, a training regime allows you to do it without finding a stronger person, and the actual rules don't go into more than who it's safe to sleep with). Although I'll agree that the Tantric Mage is just bad.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
Eh, the BoEF actually handles it rather well for an entire book on the subject (for that matter, the games that do mention it in their cores seem to do it rather well, although generally without mechanics). What I was getting at is that it's very rare for a game to give rules for conception chances and gestation periods, even if it gives rules for the act nurturing the character's chi or whatever (for the record, in the game that's from it's probably the worst possible method, a training regime allows you to do it without finding a stronger person, and the actual rules don't go into more than who it's safe to sleep with). Although I'll agree that the Tantric Mage is just bad.
I found one worse
http://www.rpgnow.com/product/2814/E...ymphology?it=1
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
Didn't Spoony do a thing on that one as well?
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
Didn't Spoony do a thing on that one as well?
Yes he did, a shorter review than the BoEF one, but I would say better.
He also found the nastiest creature of all D&D in that book
638) Harpoon of the Harp: A harpoon that can only be used to play harp
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
#639) Wand of Dancing Knights. Summons a dance troupe (1 member/level) clad in full plate armour. They will proceed to dance away to accompanying music.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
640) Wand of Wanda: Summons a rock named Wanda on your foot. Rock then fades away
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
641) Smartphone: This device will attempt to provide useful services to its user. Services include a reliable clock, calendar, and communication with other smartphones. However, it will also emit bings, pongs, and chimes whenever the most trivial thing happens. Noises happen more often the more attention has been paid to the device. Will invariably end conversations at the most inopportune time or overlay annoying noise on the conversation. Also, has a 50% chance to not be where it was left when its services are required.
642) Duck Tape: This adhesive tape can only secure ducks. It can, however, secure them perfectly.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
643) Ducked tape: A roll of tape that will turn I to a duck when touched
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
#644) Boot of Big Foot. Will cause one of your feet to grow to twice the size of the other. Conveys no mechanical disadvantage, it's just... ugly.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
645) Ring of Useless Increase: Increases your dump-stat by 1
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
646. Throne of Games: just big enough to hold a king. The chess piece.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
646. Throne of Games: just big enough to hold a king. The chess piece.
I would honestly use this
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
647: ring of fortitude. The wearer is able to multiply six by seven without effort.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mister Tom
647: ring of fortitude. The wearer is able to multiply six by seven without effort.
It took me a second.
648: The Trump Card
When placed on the ground, forces the target to purchase a scroll of Iron Wall and erect it between yourself and the target. No save. The Trump Card cannot touch any sort of stump.
649: The Half Sword
This sword can never make contact with anything, needing to travel half the distance to the target, then half that distance, and so on.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ImNotTrevor
648: The Trump Card
When placed on the ground, forces the target to purchase a scroll of Iron Wall and erect it between yourself and the target. No save. The Trump Card cannot touch any sort of stump.
However, when they do, there is invariably a hole in the wall. Creatures wishing to enter the hole must be able to prove that they are doing so legally.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
650.) +5 Amulet of Life: This amulet is inexplicably alive. Give it food and water daily, and take it outside so it doesn't get bored. If you fail to do so, it will become a +5 Amulet of Death, you monster.
Edit: The number gremlins strike again.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
671) +5 Amulet of Death: An +5 amulet of life that died
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
#652) +5 Amulet of Sleep. A sleeping +5 Amulet of Life.
[Corrected number]
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
653/673. Book of Procrastination: I'll get round to writing this some day.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
654) Fountain of Memes: A fountain continuously flowing with memes
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
655: The Chief Staff of Joints
A magic staff, for stoners. Plant Growth (hemp only) 1 charge, Extract Drug 1 charge, Rainbow Pattern 2 charges. Also has the special ability of transforming touched textile-grade hemp into OG Kush 1/day
Crossposted from Bargain Bin Magic Items
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
656: Staff of Fart Sound: Makes a sound as if the target farted. While embarrassing, it has no practical uses
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
657) Enchanted Disc: This Beautifully crafted model, complete with astral-chelonian and 4 elephants, will show the current weather and lighting patterns on Discworld at the appropriate command word. The command word is written on the bottom in a language that has no living readers.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
658) Sword of Board: a longsword that will turn any of the owner's belongings into a 2x4 at random
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
631. Ring of Protection: protects the user against pregnancy. No, you are not supposed to wear it on that.
But how else would I remember what it does?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
632) Eyeglasses of Rule 34: DON'T PUT THESE ON
Pff, you're not my dad! I do what I want!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
8BitNinja
658) Sword of Board: a longsword that will turn any of the owner's belongings into a 2x4 at random
#659. Board of Sword: Anything you hit with this board thinks it was hit by a sword, and takes damage as appropriate. The GM decides what kind of sword and rolls damage, but can't tell you how much you did.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ThinkMinty
But how else would I remember what it does?
Note that it protects the user against pregnancy. Given your identified gender, you wearing it - "on that" or otherwise - would probably not do very much! :)
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Reboot
Note that it protects the user against pregnancy. Given your identified gender, you wearing it - "on that" or otherwise - would probably not do very much! :)
Without specificity to the contrary, it's pretty reasonable to assume I would be unable to cause fecundity or become fecund myself with such a ring. Also, keeps me from hosting parasites and xenomorphs.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rockphed
657) Enchanted Disc: This Beautifully crafted model, complete with astral-chelonian and 4 elephants, will show the current weather and lighting patterns on Discworld at the appropriate command word. The command word is written on the bottom in a language that has no living readers.
Speak with Dead. Or just hit the library and look for the old books. You don't have to know what the word means, just the pronunciation.
Come to think of it, it's probably useless even if you got it working as long as "Discworld" isn't on the list of worlds your PC gets to visit.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
670. Wall, fourth: this wall never seems to fit anywhere, and removes all forms of genre savviness.
-
Re: 1001 Worthless Magic Items/Devices! (For Fun)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ThinkMinty
Pff, you're not my dad! I do what I want!
You're clearly mistaken
Son