Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
What I usually do in bars is order Sprite. It's the classic "not-drinking" drink. Also I'm underage in the US. (Which is crazy...a sixteen-year-old friend is at Glasgow for a semester and he can drink, but I can't?)
Yeah, that's basically what I did (except it was Coke/Pepsi) the few times the entire house went out together. I was also the designated driver, but that didn't really bother me because, hey, no drinking!
Also, I agree on the US drinking age being kinda wacky. I'd personally think 16 is a bit too young, especially for drinking at the rate which most US young adults do, but by 18 one should definitely be allowed. It might also cut down on over drinking, which would be a positive thing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
And if you're at a bar already, most people who might flirt with you are probably single but are also probably not looking for relationships.
It's that "not looking for relationships" thing that gets me. I get too invested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
Having no experience whatsoever, might I suggest trying an online dating site? Some people on the forum recommend that.
Tried several. And I'll allow myself a bit of ego here and say that I'm quite the writer, and that's all anybody can see about you on those places (except for pictures, but I don't think I'm
that terrible looking), so you'd think I'd have an advantage. But I had three or four going at once, sending out 10 or more well-written, well-thought out messages a week, and the grand total of the replies I got after three months? 0. Which hurts a lot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
Although it may feel creepy, try facebook-stalking people. Or just regular-stalking, but facebook is a good starting point. The information you can find online these days...Anyway, that's one way to check if people are in existing relationships. Or just casually ask them at some point.
I don't have Facebook, and I refuse to get one, on principle. As for regular stalking, not really my kind of thing. Casually asking (or waiting for it to come up in conversation) works well, though. I've done that a few times. But the answer is always the same. Or at least it has been for me. I know that the whole, "there are no singles" thing is supposedly a myth, but I couldn't tell from what I've seen. Or maybe they're all lying to me :smallfrown: .
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
Also, just to meet people, try finding clubs or groups. Not just school clubs, but as an adult too. Check out the bulletin board at your local library, for example.
Clubs are great, but the few I like to go to (such as the Shao-Lin school I attend) seem to attract only couples wanting to do things together. I'm probably just imagining it, but seriously!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
And if you have social anxiety issues, which you might if you're so uncomfortable in places like bars, try seeing a therapist. I've been reading up on anxiety recently, and my verdict is that the self-help books are often no good without a therapist.
I've actually just decided on which therapist I'm going to see :smallsmile: . I'll be sure to bring that up, because I think my anxiety is actually linked to my other issues that I'll be talking to her about.