Winter - 23 - xxx1
An observation.
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In the morning, when I'm feeding the cows after brushing and talking to them, or milking the older ones after that...
The little ones follow me around, nosing and nuzzling me in the back. They moo gently and try and force my hand onto their heads to pet them.
I feel loved.
Also:
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STRAWBERRIES. SO MANY.
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And corn and eggplants, too. Big day for profits.
And since my spirits are restored and I'm doing well...
Well, I think it's a good idea to share some. You've heard of "The tall poppy gets cut down," right? It's a sort of thinking I've heard to be common in a place like this. Someone like me, coming from nowhere, ending with a greenhouse full of crops... I could believe I'd get a little resentment.
So I'm thinking I should show a little gratitude, and some generosity to ease my way...
Besides, I like seeing people's reactions to things.
I'll start...Well, I haven't spoken to this person much, so...Eggplant. Just to warm things up.
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"Eggplants taste so good in the fall...But I never expected a winter eggplant!"
"They seem to like the greenhouse." So far, everything I've planted does...I guess in the spring, I'll try with some other vegetables.
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...I'm not sure where, since I've seen your yard and it is just cats as far as the eye can see, but OK.
"So I can't help but envy you that."
"It was a lot of work."
See what I mean?
I give some corn to Harris and the mayor. I don't have a really strong strategy here.
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"I wonder how you'll be spending the time?"
"...I've not heard of this one. So how will I be spending the time?"
"Ah, well, that's a matter of...Personal arrangement, now, isn't it?"
Oblique, much?
And if I recall, Stu likes sweet things, so I'd bet he'd like one of my strawberries.
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Everyone seems to have a recipe for a favorite food....But I am not sure how I feel about a strawberry hot-dog.
I may as well help them study while I'm here.
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"...Something about the way the light's bouncing off the air, I think."
I try and break down some more math for Kent, but he's not having it today.
"This is dumb! I'm never gonna use this stuff!"
"Well, you want to run a farm, right? I do a lot of math. Figuring out how many bags of seeds at what margin of profit over what amount of time will get me a cow, for example."
"I need to know how to..."
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"Adult life is a pain sometimes."
Everyone can agree on that.
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"Wonderful!"
That is just precious.
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"...Can be very important to a child. Their curiosity is a wonderful thing."
Anyway, after that, I go pick up seeds.
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Except I forget how many I need. 6 will do for now at least, right?
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Hmm...Mysterious.
What sort of festival is this?
I've got one last strawberry in my pack... And I think I know who'd like it. Just call it a hunch, but...
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I kind of figured she would know a strawberry-based drink. That's what my hunch said.
"With strawberries. Let me teach you."
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And, since I'm in this neck of the woods...
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"And the smell of the soil...The sun in her hair...Great memories."
Kai is on several different kinds of cloud-9 right now.
He won't mind if I sample some of the new stuff, I'm sure.
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Ah, the smell...The taste...This is *wine*.
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You know, I'm pretty sure that doesn't really count in determining a person's personality. I am pretty sure she was never a quiet girl, just a quiet baby.
I head up to the river to do some fishing; Elli's already been there for a few hours, enjoying her catch.
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"Mind cooking up what I manage?"
"Oh, it'll be my pleasure!"
Jeff's already down by the water.
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"She's 6 years younger than me, so she feels more like a daughter than a sister."
6 years? I think she may be older than me, actually.
Also, your sense of scale is kind of off there, I think...
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I cast out my line. After a while, Elli joins us, and we fish away the next few hours, just sort of relaxing. Neither of us say much, but every now and again, we catch each other's eye, and the world fills up with the warmth of a golden winter sun and the shimmering of the water reflected back at us.
It's a wonderful way to spend an afternoon. I don't think I've ever been happier.
...But I may have been less mood-swingee, given how down I've been over the past couple of days.
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All-told, I bring home a good catch.
Also...WOW. Look at that money! That's about 14k in a single day!
I bid everyone goodbye and head home to plant the seeds I bought.
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I come up about 3 short, so I'll have to fix that next time...
Do you think shops close on the Starry Night Festival? They don't normally, for after-dark stuff, but who knows if it's not just misnamed?
I guess I'll be surprised.
Winter-24-xxx1
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...I have a bathroom?
I HAVE A BATHROOM!
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You are wonderful people and I love you all!
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I find the door attached to the kitchen.
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It's got a little sink... And a nice-looking bath...
But that all can wait!
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I. am the happiest man.
In the world!
Indoor plumbing is the THE BEST invention.
That business taken care of... I can't just hang around the bathroom all day.
...You know what's odd? No one came and said 'Hey, Fox. The festival is today/tonight. It is at LOCATION X.'
It's...a little creepy, actually. Like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I decide to stop by the bakery first, just to see if someone, anyone, could tell me what was what.
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"So I've heard...But...What sort of festival is it? No one's told me anything!"
"People get together at the church and so on."
"Oh...So it's sort of a spiritual thing."
Hmm...Knowing the goddess...I suppose I should go. I've just never been a big fan of church-y stuff.
Maybe I should talk to her about all this? Is there some big deal? Is this when she wanted me to come back and see her?
The mayor seems to be happy today.
"What's up?"
"Watching how things have changed...I feel resolved!"
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...Why am I involved in this?
"I'm glad to help," even if I didn't realize it.
I also head to see the medicine man...Though, I admit, I don't have a reason. I just feel like seeing who will tell me why they're having this festival!
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"Live life the right way and you won't catch cold."
"...Isn't your job selling medicine, though?"
"You're right there."
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"Much business. Heh, heh, heh."
Hmmm...
I head up the mountains...
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And go to summon the goddess.
"Aaaah, hello <3! You came!"
"I did."
"Well-timed...The year's beginning its death in snow's embrace...The sun's aching to return..."
Her face looks distant, a goddess for once looking, as a goddess should, like a creature otherwoldly, a creature belonging to a distant olympian peak...
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The water falling off her clothes freezes once it's free of her, forming instant cascades of sugar-glass ice in the air.
"And I'll soon rise to bring back Spring."
"...You are?" Can she even do that? I thought the motion of the sun brings the seasons, not...What is a goddess, anyway? An anthropomorphic representation of the life of the land?
"Oh, ye of little faith! Am I not the goddess who governs the growth of this mountain? Its sprouting, its growth, its fruiting in the fall?" She pauses dramatically, her hand draped across her forehead.
"...Not buying it? Well, it's true. Sort of.
OK, I don't make spring happen exactly...But I shape it. I shape the year, and call everything back from sleep because it's spring again. It's an important job."
...Much more believable.
"And you need me for this...?"
"Well, not exactly need... But with someone like you around, it goes much better..." She looks away nervously.
"Well, what do I need to do?"
"Kiss me."
"W-what?"
"The King was meant to be my partner and my helper, remeeeember? Don't worry. It's an innocent, holy kiss."
I try to back off -- I've got a girlfriend and all -- but her arms are around me before I can move. Her breath smells like flowers and tastes like rain. I feel something flow into me...And something else leave, like the hollowed-out sensation you get when something good happens to someone who deserved it, but you'd been hoping it would happen to you. Sort of cold and hungry, without resentment.
Something appears in my brain: the image of butterflies on a green wind, the unfolding of white lillies. The sun beating a shimmering path, sliding off the leaves. The vivid, eye-catching greenness, tinged with the yellow of the light and the faint, translucent unfolding of the world.
Also, there is her tongue in my mouth.
When she's done, she pulls away.
"...Innocent and holy kisses do not use tongue!"
"Yours don't, maybe. The city has such useless gods." She fans herself.
"Yes, that will do nicely.
Now...A return of the favor..."
It's not cheating if it's a goddess, right? Anthropomorphic representations are fair game for everyone, right?
I realize I haven't been listening to her. She was talking about the festival.
"It was originally for star-telling fortunes...Prophecies for the new year...How about that?"
"...But it's day."
"Pshaw. The stars are always there. It's not my fault you think you can't use them, just for not seeing them..."
She looks intently up at the sky. After a moment, she pronounces:
"Your paths diverge greatly. It comes down to a matter of self-definition -- what kind of man you are. This is not a choice I should advise you on..."
"Will it stop you?"
"Absolutely not!...But...You'll see what I mean later."
...This can only end badly.
"Well...Is there anything else?"
"...A beautiful field, that attracts followers from far and wide...That should be a goal, too!"
I wonder if she's just saying that because she likes that sort of thing.
"And one more thing...Your father's shadow...It lingers over this year, more closely than before. That's it."
...That's a cold wind at my back.
"Like...He comes here? What?"
"That knowledge is beyond the stars."
She nods.
"Sorry <3! Have a good starry night!...I bet if you hurry home, you'll get something niiice!"
That was...Strange, really. She sinks back down and, because I have nothing better to do...
I shrug and head home. I can at least plant the rest of the strawberries, right?
But I'm not there for long before...
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Elli?
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"...I...I forgot to say it when you stopped by earlier."
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"If you don't mind...Or have any plans, or anything..." She squirms in place and smiles faintly, blushing.
Oh...So that's what the mayor was talking about...
"Yeah. It's a date."
She beams.
"Good! I was worried you wouldn't come."
"Well, I'm glad you asked."
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I nod. OK, Goddess. That actually was nice.
I go plant the strawberries and consider my options. The festival doesn't really start until evening; I've got time to kill.
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I fish...But I'm unsuccessful. Bummer.
When night falls, I head into the church. Turnout is...
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Kind of skimpy. I wonder where everyone else is.
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"Yeah. I kind of wish someone had told me about it before noon, though..."
I can play music, actually. It was one of the lessons dad made me take.
Stu's actually asleep in his pew; I guess someone made him come, but he couldn't take it. Poor little guy.
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I suppose the Goddess's original meaning got lost...Or was that the meaning she saw, and not what people saw at all...
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So we're indoors. Brillaint planning, Mayor.
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"Of course."
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"I'm sure you'll do fine."
What does she even play?
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"Please listen."
I guess Maria plays the piano...It suits her.
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"The performance?"
"Go ahead, I suppose."
Were they waiting for me? That's...nice, I think. I feel better thinking maybe they just got tired of waiting for someone else to come.
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Elli and Ann step forward, and take out a pair of flutes. Maria begins to play.
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The three of them play a song together -- a hymn, I think, a little bit solemn and a little bit sweet. It puts me in mind of fireflies for some reason...
If any of them mess up, they hide it in the movement of the song; a wonderful performance, basically.
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They finish and we all applaud. Elli curtseys, Ann bows. Maria hopes no one noticed her.
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With that, the mayor leaves.
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And his wife with him.
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"...Probably?" The goddess seems good about that sort of thing...But at the same time, I'm not sure I'd say otherwise if she wasn't. You know, to a kid and all.
Kent leaves, leaving Stu still sleeping in the seat.
"Hey, Kent..." Too late. I shake Stu's shoulder gently.
"stu. Wake up -- it's time to be heading home."
He nods, blearily.
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...I sure hope he'll be OK.
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Ahh...I thought something like this might happen. Well, I make a beeline.
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"Great work. It was really pretty...
Well... Want to do a little star-gazing?"
She blushes and smiles.
"Of course. I wanted to ask you, too."
We walk out together, but once we exit the church, she takes my hand and starts pulling.
"What?"
"I know where the best spot is. I don't think anyone's there right now..."
"I'll follow your lead, then."
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We walk to the town square, and find a corner with a nice view. The night is clear and cloudless, and the stars shine brightly down at us, glimmering like points of silver.
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"My granny used to say you could tell fortunes on the stars... I hope she's alright by herself tonight."
"I'm sure she's fine. Probably better off than we are."
It's absurdly cold; the light of the stars is so bright there's no trouble seeing...But there's no warmth anywhere but our bodies, rising out with our breath.
"Where'd you learn to play the flute?"
"My mother played the flute...So I learned from her. It was something besides cooking for us to do together...And cooler, so we mostly had lessons in the summer." She explained with a wistful smile. She must have learned...very young.
"She'd play in the church...Just like I did tonight."
She folded her hands and breathed into them, her expression hidden by her hands. But something in the graceful lines of her neck, the rounded curve of her shoulder... I feel someone else's loneliness gnawing at my heart, seeing them.
I wrap my arm around her. She pauses, as if jolted from something, and snuggles close.
We don't say anything for a minute, but look at the stars.
And then:
"You know what I should have done? I should have made us pasties."
"...What?" This cannot be what I am thinking of.
"Pasties. They're savory pastries. Like a meat pie, but smaller, wrapped all up in the pastry dough.
They're really good at warming you up, and staying warm..."
She crosses her arms, now somewhat frustrated by the oversight.
"And some cider...And we could have had a star-gazing picnic."
"Well, I guess we'll just have to think about that next year..."
Next year...
"I wonder what sort of fortune the stars have for me..."
It seems her thoughts went in that direction, too.
"I'm not worried. Now, next year, I will be analyzing the heck out of them. Just you wait and see."
She chuckles.
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Winter-25-xxx1
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More snow tommorow. *sigh*
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Verne's gotten bigger; I guess she and Mocha are in a similar age group now.
*sniff* they grow up so fast.
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Anyway, I may as well mine after doing my chores. Not much better to do, you know? I may not accomplish much...But I'll get something.
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Yaaay! Iron Ore! A good omen for a first swing!
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...Yeah, I know...Did you think I didn't?
I get more iron ore, filling my pack as best I can...
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And then I hit the ground. I kind of wish I got better advance notice -- my body's not good at telling me when I'm at the edge...Well, I guess when I lose my balance like that, that's my 'edge,' since I can get back up...
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When I head home...
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The carpenter's there. Waiting for me. Talking like...I asked him to...
"What will you get started on, exactly?"
"Your order, of course. It's not what I expected of ya'...But a guy your age, with a pretty girl on his arm...Ha! That's when you think about the future, right?"
"..." What?
What.
I didn't -- I haven't -- I DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING!
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He brushes past me before I can put my confusion and outrage into words.
"At least tell me what I didn't order!"
I cry out into empty, wintery air.
To try and resolve my confusion, I go fishing.
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No bites.
I head to the bar, too, since it's been a while. Zack's thinking about his daughter.
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"What can be done? I'm just afraid that when she grows up, she won't care about her father..."
My father came home late from work, too. I understand what May's feelings might be, even if it's not what they will be...
"...As long as you love her when you're there."
That's the thing: even if it had been brief...If he had smiled with me, just a little. If he had played with me, just a little.
If that had happened... I'm sure this future would have turned out differently.
"You think? I try my best...Someone's got to keep us all afloat.
But when she understands that, will it be too late?"
I'm sure.
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I have a drink before heading home.
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And I take advantage...
Of my nice warm bath before bed.
Aaaaahh...It's so nice, to have a bathroom. You are a wonder of science.