-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
uncool
What happened to Taran? I thought that he would be the one Mookie owuld pair with Hirek...
=Uncool-
Taran! I was just trying to remember his name.
He's not Sue-y enough. Just like Eltu. (Or did Eltu die? I forget. Also, what happened to Kiya?
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
As the only person in-comic who even gives a damn about Hansi, Kiya ran off to find him. Eltu is probably off in the corner with Taran drinking themselves into oblivion.
I'm torn about whether I'll send feedback to Mookie about the arc. If he genuinely wants feedback in order to improve I'd like to oblige, but I'm just not sure if I can give him something that's constructive and just doesn't sound overly negative. I'd have to give my honest opinion, which is this arc turned reading his comic from what was a guilty pleasure into an act of endurance. At the end of the arc I just feel too drained to give properly constructive advice.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Taran is hiding because he thinks Melna's Domakalta is still on. Eltu is getting healing from someone trained in mundane healing, since the akta left Suyan. Kiya... Well, you guys actually got it right.
I've sent my e-mail to Mookie, explaining what I liked and didn't like, and giving him fair warning about what he should expect. Oh, and I also asked him some questions that I hope will get answered.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
M84
Sadly, panel seven was the final nail in the coffin for the Outrage.:smallfrown:
He has served his purpose.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
M84
Sadly, panel seven was the final nail in the coffin for the Outrage.:smallfrown:
I know! I can't believe that someone that bonded with Donovan would thank Donovan's son for ensuring Adrak, Thuen Gor's son, survived his ordeal. It's even worse when you consider that Thuen Gor lost his family, either directly or indirectly, to the sort of the people that the same son of Donovan always gets preachy in opposition to!
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ganurath
I know! I can't believe that someone that bonded with Donovan would thank Donovan's son for ensuring Adrak, Thuen Gor's son, survived his ordeal. It's even worse when you consider that Thuen Gor lost his family, either directly or indirectly, to the sort of the people that the same son of Donovan always gets preachy in opposition to!
Of course! You'd think he'd get kinda pissed because Dom told him to leave his son to die, and didn't even bother telling him that his son wasn't actually dead, something that The Dominus knew from the beggining!
Good thing the Shintula burial rite consists of dropping the corpse on a ditch, it would've been really akward if The OC had buried Adrak just because nobody told him that he wasn't actually dead! Could you imagine that? :smallsmile:
Edit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
M84
Sadly, panel seven was the final nail in the coffin for the Outrage.:smallfrown:
Personally, I thought The Outrage was more than dead after this. Everything else after that was just a bit of an "insult to injury."
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Webox
Of course! You'd think he'd get kinda pissed because Dom told him to leave his son to die, and didn't even bother telling him that his son wasn't actually dead, something that The Dominus knew from the beggining!
Convince me that Thuen Gor would have, at that point, believed Dominic if he said that.
Quote:
Good thing the Shintula burial rite consists of dropping the corpse on a ditch, it would've been really akward if The OC had buried Adrak just because nobody told him that he wasn't actually dead! Could you imagine that? :smallsmile:
Burials are for Callanians. Normally, Maltak is covered in food, so it wouldn't make sense to destroy a bunch of food just to stick a corpse some place where it won't be fertilizer... Especially if you want it to be fertilizer.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
M84
Sadly, panel seven was the final nail in the coffin for the Outrage.:smallfrown:
That's what I thought at first, but then I realized that he was not talking to Dominic. I tried to clean up the artwork to make it a little more clear:
http://i624.photobucket.com/albums/t...1/thankyou.gif
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ganurath
Convince me that Thuen Gor would have, at that point, believed Dominic if he said that.
Well, he did believe Dominic when he told him that he should save his power to fight the Spirit Father. I doubt a little "And don't worry too much about your son... He's stronger than he looks/ also has his own destiny to fulfill." would have hurt. He didn't really need to say: "Don't worry, Death is kinda cheap for people with names." Just a little hint to give The OC some hope/ not leaving him totally in the dark.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ganurath
Burials are for Callanians. Normally, Maltak is covered in food, so it wouldn't make sense to destroy a bunch of food just to stick a corpse some place where it won't be fertilizer... Especially if you want it to be fertilizer.
That's a good point. I remember seeing some orcs doing a burial rite, or mentioning burial, but maybe that was just my imagination... and I don't dare go back to check if the orcs actually buried their dead.
Edit:
On second thought: It's not really about how practical it is for them to bury their dead, hell, you're probably right and burying them wouldn't make sense, but still, they should have some sort of way to show their respect for the dead, an orcish funeral of sorts. Dumping someone as soon as he dies looks kinda, well... non-civilized, let's say. And this isn't just some random orc who's dying, it's the chief's son.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Webox
Dumping someone as soon as he dies looks kinda, well... non-civilized, let's say.
Well these are Piggarts we're talking about.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
At least someone has to criticize him on how NO ONE can see or hear things until they come on panel.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Heyall,
I was considering writing a message to Mookie concerning my opinions about this arc.
Then I realized that everything I was going to say could be condensed into one sentence:
"The next time you want to write a long running arc -- don't."
Honestly, I hate the Maltak arc far too much to offer any constructive criticism to Mookie. I'm also way, way too drunk right now (four beers + one gin martini + one Kamikaze + one glass of red wine + one litchee martini) to offer anything remotely useful.
Okay, I've got one thing. Mookie, never ever try to draw a dragon again. Frankly, you suck at it.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Well, this time Mookie is actually asking for feedback. I'd be an awfully ungrateful person if I turned down this invitation, wouldn't I? I'm seriously considering sending him an email saying that the answer to "what have I done wrong" is "everything".
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
You know what?
I think I'll send him criticism, without being too insulting. Let's gather a compilation of legitimate complaints. Preferably give a link to the comic that the issue came up in.
Let's see:
Why did Hukthak want to kill Melna? I mean seriously, was Hukthak even ever aware of Melna until near the end?
Maltak's sensory deprivation effect. Occasionally, there were conveniently placed ravines and hills, but otherwise, people cannot see or hear events until they come on screen, even though they were there. Though the Nakta mancers tend to pop out of the ground, so they get a free pass.
Why don't they use axes to deal with plants? And why did the clans split?
Lamest curse ever.
"Her curse as a blessing?" Maybe if she indicated that they gave their owners extraordinary magical power before she came to Maltak, but this is the equivalent of saying you turned your facial burns into a blessing, when all you've done is figure out a way to survive despite them.
Incompetent guards. Melna walked right past these two guys, despite it being one of the times people actually saw someone approaching. They should have challenged her long before she got that close. And they should not have ran smack into her fists. One of them had a spear he could have just poked in her back while declaring a challenge.
How did Luna escape from this hold?
In fact, how did Melna do the same thing?
In a comic about characters screwing destiny, Melna's inconsistent attitude over whether or not she can't fight fate is aggravating.
Sending Melna to assassinate the Doma Chief.
The Doma's complete absolution for their complicity in forcing Stonewater to rape Melna.
The fact that everyone is all happy after they kill a few despicable people. You can't run a clan by yourself, you need loyal supporters to help carry out your will. And yet, once the heads are removed, everyone is happy to submit to their new authority that the heroes largely took by force.
And smacking someone in the head with a hammer should cause it to explode like a ripe pumpkin. Not decapitate them.
Mookie's gushing over how the orcs didn't question their saviors. Mookie criticizes humans because they would question all the good that came of it. Thing is, humans would be right to. Their beliefs would be largely undermined by the events because outsiders had to do it, they would be shown the "right way" by the very people that helped cause so much damage, the outsiders manipulated them to boot, and their saviors did it by violently demolishing the old ways with numerous casualties.
Luna really didn't do much on her own accord. She was largely a puppet for everyone and everything else.
The drama bait and switching. No heroes die, despite looking like they're about to. Hansi doesn't die, Luna doesn't die. After Dex, it became apparent you didn't have it in you to kill your characters. This is a drama killer. It removes any tension from any scenes where the characters look like something major is about to happen because we already know it's going to turn out fine. And making Luna barren just felt tacked on, given that you already had a guy survive impalement where his heart and spine used to be. It would feel more natural if it had more to do with getting stabbed there with the Huk Thak by Thuen Gor.
Although they did foil the Beast's plans for Maltak, they don't seem to ever mention it since Celestro's warning.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
That's a good start, but make sure you add in Luna's absolute puppetry. She didn't do anything on her own.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Beginning of arc: 'The five castes clans must dance as one in the shadow of the last mountain"
End of arc: The five clans are about to dance as one in the shadow of the last mountain.
Weak.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
The prophecy being repeated a half dozen times.
The featureless plains that are full of cliffs and ravines whenever it's dramatic. And the raiders being able to remain hidden on them until they're five feet away.
Luna's incompetence. This one will be hard to explain to Mookie because he doesn't see it this way.
The constant drama baiting and switching. Hansi's not dead, Luna's not dead, Hukthak doesn't wait to kill Melna... That last one was a huge letdown. The largest disappointment of the arc. For years we've been waiting to know who is Huk Thak and why does he want to kill Melna, and it turns out he doesn't, did not, and never will want to.
Snuggly not doing anything despite Celesto's omen.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
One of the things that bugged me was that I never had any idea how many orcs were involved in anything. The Alheera got reduced to twenty survivors, and the Shintula and Doma appear to be maybe two or three times that, so it sounds to me like their were only a couple hundred orcs tops. The battle was also confusing - how many orcs there were supposed to be, who was winning and why, even if anyone had some kind of strategy for the fight.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
@comic: Meh. A resounding one, at that.
@newspost:
Quote:
Posted by Mookie
That's it.
The End.
FINALLY!
Quote:
The March Across Maltak has finally come to its conclusion and I, for one, am very happy with the journey as a whole.
Well, I'm not.
Quote:
I don't know if it's the best story I've written.
It's not.
Quote:
It's almost hard to believe that since January of 2009 I've been telling you folks the same tale.
I can't believe it either.
Quote:
It's almost hard to believe that you're all still with me one year later.
Me neither.
Quote:
I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did.
Quote:
Now that the story has officially concluded and the work can be looked upon from beginning to end, let me know what you thought of it. What I did well,
Almost nothing
Quote:
what I did poorly,
Almost everything.
Quote:
what could have been done better
See above.
Quote:
and what you really enjoyed.
Nothing, except for the snarking. Although some strips weren't groanworthy, just bad.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Can anyone think of anything nice to say that's not too much of a stretch? I'd like to write him some feedback focusing on his pacing problems and drama issues, but I want to think of something nicer to say, so it's not so harsh and doesn't get dismissed immediately.
I'm pretty sure there were at least a few strips everyone agreed were okay, so . . . anything positive to add?
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
..."At least Donovan's trolling of an entire race was funny." :smalltongue:
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Webox
..."At least Donovan's trolling of an entire race was funny." :smalltongue:
Don't forget his friends and family too!
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Death Dragon
Can anyone think of anything nice to say that's not too much of a stretch?
Changing the way he draws orcs to give them a piggy snout. It didn't go far enough, but it gave at least a tiny bit of variety to his humanoid faces, so that orcs didn't look like elves anymore.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Only the snarking: the necropimp, the outrage, the power of moustache, The Killing, the unholly geometry of maltak, etc.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
"Some of the strips were actually sort of poignant, dramatic or humourous.
You know, before they were sapped of all their quality by the next strip."
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
The Shintula were a cool group of characters until they stopped being outraged.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
A decent explanation for why Spark can talk, why Tuskmouth is the only mutation afflicting humans in all of Callan, the tatooes of the Shintula being painful and flesh-tearing so as to store up Nakta...
The big things needed work, but the little details were nice touches.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MReav
You know what?
I think I'll send him criticism, without being too insulting. Let's gather a compilation of legitimate complaints. Preferably give a link to the comic that the issue came up in.
I wholeheartedly approve of this approach. And I applaud the work you've already put into it.
I don't expect him to respond, mind you, but maybe showing him direct links will jog his memory. Of course, my recent experience in Alignment threads does not give me particularly high hopes.
Let us know how he responds, if at all.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MReav
These ones seem really nit picky to me. Some of them could easily just be dramatic or stylistic choices. Take the hammer decapitation, for example. If the comic as a whole was much better, I'm fairly sure it's something that would be much more accepted, or at least politely ignored. It's just because Mookie has a history of not knowing how things work that we think it happened how it did because Mookie doesn't know how hitting things with hammers works, and not because he made a conscious decision to have his head knocked off with a hammer.
Which isn't to say that it's not something to be criticized if you disagree with such a choice. However, the comic has much bigger things wrong with it, and these things need to be fixed before you get into the details. These are points that criticize moments in the story. What's much more useful are criticisms about what's wrong with the story as a whole, (like most of your other points) or moments that keep coming up over and over (like the zero visibility thing.) At the very least it might make the difference between making the letter appear constructive and making it appear hateful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MReav
Why did Hukthak want to kill Melna? (can someone spot me a link to that image?) I mean seriously, was Hukthak even ever aware of Melna until near the end?
Yo.
-
Re: Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, MK XXI - Death is not Maltak
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MReav
Except they did. Repeatedly. Donovan was a diplomat whose skill earned him a kelsheen mark, yet when the raiders see him they consider him a blasphemer. Luna manages to create enough food to feed the whole Shintula tribe, but OC decides she's a blasphemer and is stealing their gods.
Yet when Luna makes it rain, it's apparently enough that the orcs don't question it and accept it wholeheartedly, even though they were just killing each other a few moments ago.
Also, don't forget to mention Luna's arbitrary importance to the plot.