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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Zorg
If only there was some automatic function you could set to post the same text beneath your posts every time... a signature if you will :smallwink:
Yeah, but all my characters are used up at the moment :smallwink:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Yes, and apart from acknowledging the new gender, I would try to keep everything as near business as usual as possible. And obviously, if someone messes with my kid they mess with me.
But I'd still worry.
Very much agreed with this. Also in agreement with the, "showering them with love and acceptance", bit as well. Yeah, my fist would be saying hallo to anyone who happened to want to share their bigoted, jerky thoughts with my child........:smallannoyed:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Hmmm.
I think (hope) my first response would be "Okay. What do you need?"
What would your (all the varieties of "your" there is) ideal response to a coming-out be?
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
With how endemic it is to the thread to have people injuring themselves from shaving with no knowledge base, I have to wonder whether a disclaimer to remind people not to jump in head first into body modification without first making sure they've learned enough to do it safely is in order. :smallconfused:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Hopefully people won't perform SRS or mastectomies etc. on themselves but will leave it to trained surgeons.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
Also does anyone here follow Rain; cause the last update: :smalleek:
I do. I also thought the last update was :smalleek:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Knowing how my family is, my reaction would probably be "... Do you want to go shopping for some different clothes?"
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Originally Posted by
SiuiS
Also! Kitty fair is best fairy (with apologies to Kenderfairies the world over; it was a close election! But the teacup crawled in my lap and purred :3)
The KenderFairies know that we are locked in an eternal and unwinnable battle of cutness against the KittenFairies. :smallwink:
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
I agree with basically everything you said but that little bit of inclusiveness made me really happy. :smallsmile:
:smallsmile: Well, "women's issues" are important to me, but I always try to remember that not all women experience every "woman issue" and not all "woman issues" only affect women. Like a lot of things, it's a world of shades of grey and "most" and "statistically" and "almost all". Specifically, menstruation, pregnancy, etc, are very important topics to me, and they're feminist issues because they are overwhelmingly divided along gender lines, but even just restricting ourselves to cis people, not all cis women menstruate or can get pregnant. Besides, who wants to restrict themselves just to cis people? :smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Hopefully people won't perform SRS or mastectomies etc. on themselves but will leave it to trained surgeons.
Indeed, but I'm pretty sure you know what I was mostly concerned with here.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
Specifically, menstruation, pregnancy, etc, are very important topics to me, and they're feminist issues because they are overwhelmingly divided along gender lines, but even just restricting ourselves to cis people, not all cis women menstruate or can get pregnant. Besides, who wants to restrict themselves just to cis people? :smallwink:
Made me a little sad, and not a little angry, when a moderator on a supposedly inclusive forums using "people with uteruses" as a synonym for "women".
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Celtic_D&Der
......as well as other emotions that are deeply confusing.....:smallwink:
:smallconfused:
[QUOTE=SiuiS;14032748]Oh? Such as~?
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Those are less fun than I thought :smallfrown: :smalltongue:
What kind of thing were you hoping for?
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I believe it is the last one; someone did all the mane 6 as changelings based on their dominant coat color. I'm not sure if it's a "changelings win" story or not. They are in thread though. I'll find the link.
Sounds intriguing.
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The soap you see Barbers lather and leave on the face soaks into the hair and softens it, makes it easier to cut while also helpin the blade drag vet your skin without issue. All razors are mechanically identical (blades at an angle) and usually the same blade as well. The differences are in blade count, pivot strength if there is one, and whether they have a moisturizing strip.
At the very least, buy a dollar bar of dove soap, and slick up your legs. As for how to tend it now, well... Go easy on the skin, drink plenty of fluids and be sure to shave again soon, so the skin doesn't get the same level of stress.
Alright.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Arachu
*So many hugs* Hope it gets even better soon. :<
[/COLOR]
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Originally Posted by
Absol197
Oh, Lucy! :frown: *MASSIVE HUGS* I'm so sorry you've been feeling that way! I've felt that way before, and it's no good at all...If you ever want to talk, my PM box is open. Just know that no matter how bad it gets, we're all here for you. Don't give up!
:smallredface: Gee...thanks!
~Phoenix~
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
*hugs*
Those feelings of just exhaustion with existence is something that happens to me quite often. It's really sucky. :s I hope you feel better soon.
Gender; it's really confusing and can require a lot of introspection to figure out. But we're here to help you and support you. :smallsmile:
!
Thank you all *hugs everyone*
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Originally Posted by
bfm1991
Here I am. How are you meant to see if i am worthy of the almighty Mynxae. LOL
Welcome! :smallsmile:
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Originally Posted by
Heliomance
I just had a fantastic night out to the local gay club with LGBTsoc. Great fun. Got clocked a couple of times, sadly, but gay club, so no-one gave a damn. I actually got asked by one guy how long I'd been on hormones! Proper pronouns used all round, a really friendly atmosphere, a bit of judicious flirting, and a respectable quantity of alcohol all combined to make a really good time ^_^
Made a few new friends, too, though sadly nothing more :P
Hey, that sounds great!
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Originally Posted by
PairO'Dice Lost
Update on yesterday's situation:
My manager filed his complaint about the nurse, hasn't heard anything back yet. Probably won't for a bit, if at all.
Lunch was...unpleasant, but not as bad as I expected. Most of the people who'd said stuff in the past apologized and said they didn't mean it and wouldn't have said anything if they'd known there was "a gay" in the room, which was a pleasant surprise--I didn't bother to point out that they shouldn't have said any of that anyway because, y'know, common decency...but hey, baby steps. There were, however, two of them (the girl I mentioned before and one other) who decided to turn it into a religious/moral debate, and we had a small audience as I basically played Whack-a-Mole with their arguments for an hour or so.
I've had plenty of practice with that sort of debate (:smallannoyed:) and it seemed like they didn't, so it went well. Having most of the people around be on my side for once was a very nice change of pace (yay California!), and while I doubt I changed their minds at all we're at least back on exchanging-idle-chitchat terms again. So, yay, crisis mostly averted unless the re-org that's going on gets one of them shuffled onto my team or vice versa, but that's down the line and not something to worry about right now.
I hope it continues going well!
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Originally Posted by
Absol197
Okay, I'm actually back now! :smallsmile:
So here's how things went yesterday, for those of you who are interested:
Spoiler
Show
The drive up went pretty well. We steered the conversation away from what was going to happen, so we didn't get that awkward pre-meeting stuff (I'm not sure what that would be like, but I'm sure it exists :smalltongue: ). We did talk about politics, because that's one of my mom's favorite topics, and it's relevent in the States, with our election coming up.
We got to Boulder much earlier than we needed to, so I directed us to a little local coffee shop that I like.
Then, the actual meeting. At first, it looked like I was going to mess up. I was so scared and nervous. It took probably five minutes of me staring at the letter I had written, looking like an idiot, before I realized that that wasn't how I wanted to remember that moment, and that I wanted to say it myself. I blocked out as much as I could of my surroundings, and barreled through my letter (slowlyy enough to be understood, of course).
At first, at least with my mom, it looked like it was going to be a disaster. She kept saying that she could handle gay, but not this. :smallfrown: My therapist really helped out, though, and I was able to get my brain back in gear and give some explainations.
My mom was really quiet during the car ride home, but by the end, she had calmed down, and explained that what she was most worried about was my job, and my being safe in a world that is, frankly, still a very scary place.
She still doesn't quite understand everything (when she asked about why I had been down on Sunday, and I explained it was about all the people I interact with not seeing me the way I want to be seen, she asked, "Why does that matter?"), but she at least seems like she's accepted it. She was happy last night, at least :smallsmile: .
We'll see how it goes, but I have hope!
Also, I got to leave my door open for the first time in a while last night, so I got a visit from the black kitty fairy! :smallbiggrin: He hogs the bed something fierce, but I don't really mind.
~Phoenix~
Oh, I'm so glad it went so well! I hope it will get even better! :smallsmile:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
:smallconfused:
Heh, sorry. Was a Futurama reference. Leela poses as a male soldier, and Zap is attracted to "him"(her) and is confused about it, and his line is, "That soldier fills me with hope.....as well as other emotions that are, deeply confusing...."
:smallredface:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
Also does anyone here follow Rain; cause the last update: :smalleek:
Yeah. The expressions in the last two panels made me burst out laughing, though the atmosphere for the last week or two has been a wee bit tense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Coidzor
With how endemic it is to the thread to have people injuring themselves from shaving with no knowledge base, I have to wonder whether a disclaimer to remind people not to jump in head first into body modification without first making sure they've learned enough to do it safely is in order. :smallconfused:
Meh, it's just shaving various body parts. My dad doesn't, so when I started I just kind of winged--wung--uhh--played it by ear. Worst that'll happen is a bit of discomfort the first few times until you figure it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Made me a little sad, and not a little angry, when a moderator on a supposedly inclusive forums using "people with uteruses" as a synonym for "women".
That is upsetting.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
...dammit. I don't think I pass as well as I thought I did. I'm starting to get the impression that everyone I've talked to for any length of time has worked out I'm a guy. Sure, they're fine with it - I've not had any trouble from it - but it's kinda depressing. :smallfrown:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
:smallconfused:
What kind of thing were you hoping for?
Probably the kind of thing he'd expect me to say, probably accompanied by a selection of the following smilies. :smallamused::smallwink: :smalltongue::smallbiggrin:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Probably the kind of thing he'd expect me to say, probably accompanied by a selection of the following smilies. :smallamused::smallwink: :smalltongue::smallbiggrin:
I don't find Changeling Rarity remotely attractive. :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
noparlpf
Meh, it's just shaving various body parts. My dad doesn't, so when I started I just kind of winged--wung--uhh--played it by ear. Worst that'll happen is a bit of discomfort the first few times until you figure it out.
Mostly it's just annoying how it keeps coming up once a month or every month and a half. And AFTER they've already cut themselves to ribbons.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Coidzor
With how endemic it is to the thread to have people injuring themselves from shaving with no knowledge base, I have to wonder whether a disclaimer to remind people not to jump in head first into body modification without first making sure they've learned enough to do it safely is in order. :smallconfused:
I have an extensive knowledge base of shaving - I've been doing it every day for the last 17 years - just not on my legs.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Zorg
I have an extensive knowledge base of shaving - I've been doing it every day for the last 17 years - just not on my legs.
*raises eyebrow*
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Zorg
I have an extensive knowledge base of shaving - I've been doing it every day for the last 17 years - just not on my legs.
Same here, not as long, but same here. So if anyone needs advice, I have given some before, just PM me, or ask me in here. Either/or :smallsmile:
~Matthew~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
*raises eyebrow*
Her face, you twit.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zorg
I have an extensive knowledge base of shaving - I've been doing it every day for the last 17 years - just not on my legs.
Your point being? :smallconfused:
Either you looked into shaving your legs before you did it or you didn't and if you didn't then you still had no knowledge base for shaving your legs. If you did, me gusta. If you didn't, well, here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
...dammit. I don't think I pass as well as I thought I did. I'm starting to get the impression that everyone I've talked to for any length of time has worked out I'm a guy. Sure, they're fine with it - I've not had any trouble from it - but it's kinda depressing. :smallfrown:
Well, I'm not sure how well you've been avoiding people who recognize you and have interacted with you in the past, but at least for the gay bar and LGBTsoc, those are the closest to a place where people have been trained to spot it that you could go, so I hope those aren't what's getting to you.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Mystic Muse
I don't find Changeling Rarity remotely attractive. :smalltongue:
She'd be hot if it weren't for the holes. xD
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Coidzor
If you did, me gusta.
Pretty sure that means "I like it", not "sorry", which context would appear to indicate it's meant to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Coidzor
Well, I'm not sure how well you've been avoiding people who recognize you and have interacted with you in the past, but at least for the gay bar and LGBTsoc, those are the closest to a place where people have been trained to spot it that you could go, so I hope those aren't what's getting to you.
People that knew me already, I'm not so worried about. And yes, largely the LGBT lot, because they make up most of the new people I've been interacting with, but the one that really got me was some people from the church I've just started going to, who apparently worked it out almost immediately.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Zorg
@ Astrella - that's a really nice colour :smallsmile:
Thank you~ Purple is my favourite colour.
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Originally Posted by
Serpentine
Hmmm.
I think (hope) my first response would be "Okay. What do you need?"
What would your (all the varieties of "your" there is) ideal response to a coming-out be?
Hmm. I'm not really sure. Cause in the ideal case sexuality and gender as such would be something that isn't stigmatized, so coming out would be a way less big of a deal? Like, one of the big stressy parts is that you don't know how people would react but in a more accepting society that whole worry would be a lot less too.
Hmm.
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Originally Posted by
KenderWizard
:smallsmile: Well, "women's issues" are important to me, but I always try to remember that not all women experience every "woman issue" and not all "woman issues" only affect women. Like a lot of things, it's a world of shades of grey and "most" and "statistically" and "almost all". Specifically, menstruation, pregnancy, etc, are very important topics to me, and they're feminist issues because they are overwhelmingly divided along gender lines, but even just restricting ourselves to cis people, not all cis women menstruate or can get pregnant. Besides, who wants to restrict themselves just to cis people? :smallwink:
The thing is also, reproductive rights don't only affect cis women either. Stuff like how trans people are still forced to get sterilized if they want gender recognition in a lot of places (Belgium sadly being among those) falls under reproductive rights too. Here's an interesting read on it.
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Originally Posted by
Coidzor
With how endemic it is to the thread to have people injuring themselves from shaving with no knowledge base, I have to wonder whether a disclaimer to remind people not to jump in head first into body modification without first making sure they've learned enough to do it safely is in order. :smallconfused:
I don't know. Like, I shaved (my face) on Monday for my psych appointment and then when I tried to shave again Wednesday it hurt a lot, even though I was using a razor I had only used once before, used shaving cream and applied an anti-irritation thingie afterwards. It's just, shaving just seems to hurt a ton no matter what I do, which makes the whole deal so much worse. :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heliomance
...dammit. I don't think I pass as well as I thought I did. I'm starting to get the impression that everyone I've talked to for any length of time has worked out I'm a guy. Sure, they're fine with it - I've not had any trouble from it - but it's kinda depressing. :smallfrown:
Mrr, what makes you get that impression? Ugh...hmm, maybe try asking one of them in an appropriate context? :<
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
I don't know. Like, I shaved (my face) on Monday for my psych appointment and then when I tried to shave again Wednesday it hurt a lot, even though I was using a razor I had only used once before, used shaving cream and applied an anti-irritation thingie afterwards. It's just, shaving just seems to hurt a ton no matter what I do, which makes the whole deal so much worse. :/
Well, I wouldn't suggest shaving so close together. You sound like me, very sensitive skin. If I were to shave on a Monday, and then shave again on a Wednesday, my face would be SOOOOOOOO angry at me!! I'd give yourself a little more time in between shavings.
~Matthew~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Celtic_D&Der
Well, I wouldn't suggest shaving so close together. You sound like me, very sensitive skin. If I were to shave on a Monday, and then shave again on a Wednesday, my face would be SOOOOOOOO angry at me!! I'd give yourself a little more time in between shavings.
~Matthew~
I know, but... I don't like stubble... :c
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
Actually, I'd suggest exactly the opposite. Try and accustom your face to it so you can shave more often. Shave religiously every two days until you can manage that without pain, then start shaving every day. It'll hurt at first, but the more frequently you shave, the easier it gets, both because you're taking less off each time and because your face gets accustomed to it better. I'm now at the point where I can, and occasionally do, shave twice a day. I normally don't bother, because I can't be bothered to spend that much time shaving. But on the occasions that I do, I get a noticeably easier and more comfortable shave.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
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Originally Posted by
Astrella
I know, but... I don't like stubble... :c
I definitely understand that. Maybe try a sharper razor? What kind do you use now? Also, using some sort of shaving cream works wonders. I use my wife's leg shaving creme, Skintimate "Sensitive Skin" shaving creme, on my face and it not only helps TONS with helping my skin coping with being shaved, but also keeps it smooth longer.
What I do is get a LOT of the creme, put it on my face, and then go over my face once with the hair. Then I re-apply the creme, and go against the hair. Then I re-apply one more time and go over my face again, usually against the grain. Now, while shaving, don't press down too hard, and if it starts to sting or hurt to shave a certain area, stop. Bascially, if it hurts to shave a part a certain way, find another way to shave it. That's my advise, for what it's worth.........which probably isn't much :smallwink:
~Matthew~
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
@Coidzor - my point was that I think only one person in this thread has expressed any lack of knowledge while everyone else has asked for advice on re-applying a skill. The only injuries seem to be a bit of razor burn here and there, which is completely normal for a lot of people regardless.
Calling it endemic to the thread was over the top - rather than criticising people for posting their problems repeatedly, why not link to some helpful resources if it bothers you so much?
Speaking of: Cycling forums have quite a few good guides for men. Here's a video too.
Be careful shaving against the grain as it can cause more ingrown hairs though.
I use two electric razors and three manual ones to shave, which might be a bit excessive, but it works. Many electric razors have a flip out pair of clippers on the back that can be used to buzz those stray one or two hairs rather than chopping at them with a manual blade.
@Celtic - I sometimes get pretty messed up skin and I shave daily. If I don't shave I get dysphoric. I'll take the chance of razorburn over dysphoria :smallwink:
@Helio - have you done any work on vocal training or body language?
Voice training is probably my biggest issue at the moment as I have a very low voice and a tendancy to go lower when inflecting. Dead giveaway.
Stuff like how much you use your hands when you talk, inflections at the end of sentances, eye contact and even the choice of idioms are wired into people's brains as triggers for 'male' or 'female'.
Doing things to create illusions with your clothing can help also. For example you can see above I make a plank of wood look like Christina Hendricks, so it'd be in my favour to wear things loose around the hips with a structured waist and a wider neckline to trick the eye into seeing a more female figure.
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Re: LGBTAitp 27: Of Shoes, and Ships, and Sealing Wax
I wonder how many times per day Christina Hendricks has to say "Eyes up here."?