And now, for something on a more positive note...
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It was pitch black. Magtok was likely to be eaten by a Grue.
Somewhere, Django Reinhardt's instrumental version of Beyond the Sea was playing. Magtok recognized it instantly, having played BioShock before, and felt more than a little unnerved by the creepy music.
Stumbling about in the dark, he went towards the source of the music. Sure, it meant meeting this creepy musician person, whoever they'd turn out to be, but it was certainly not as bad as being all alone in this darkness.
There was a bit of splashing as he walked along. Someone had apparently saw fit to spill seawater all over the floor, which greatly annoyed Maggy as it soaked the bottom of his robes.
After quite a bit of walking, with his hand against a wall to prevent himself from getting lost, he found the source of the music, a decrepit wooden record player, with a small flourescent bulb above it. Below it were two or three marble steps, decorated in a black and white checkered design, which seemed to be just as old and torn as the record player.
The music came to a close, and Magtok quickly sought about restarting the thing. He wasn't quite sure why he was doing so. Maybe because he liked the song, but more likely because Reinhardt's tune was the only companion he had in this creepy, lonely darkness. He grabbed the needle, and accidentally pricked his finger on it. Blood became to drip on the record, slowly going from a gentle drip-drop to a gushing fountain, coloring the puddles around him a deep crimson with a mix of sea green.
Well that shouldn't happen...
Then again, there had been some issues with the cloning process before. This could be an unfortunate mutation with hemophilia. Regardless, it's not very fun to see one's blood drain away like that.
CLOMP...CLOMP...CLOMP...
Huge, slow, heavy footfalls were approaching. Dear gods, did it smell his blood? Was it hungry? Was it one of those diving suit freak things from BioShock? It sounded like one, made that same horrible moaning sound, it was definitely one.
With nowhere the run, Magtok desperately tries to get the music to play again, to have Beyond the Sea by his side again, but somehow his blood's already dried up on the thing and ruined it.
That whale-like moaning grew closer. He could hear a faint child's voice, a small child's tiny feet skipping along on the marble beside the massive clunking juggernaut. Magtok continued to try to get the thing to work, to get the song to continue, to-
AAARGH!
With a shout, he grabbed the thing and in frustration he smashed it against the marble floor, splitting the relic open.
Over there, Mordy! I hear one of them!
Oh gods. He just killed himself with that act, made his inevitable downfall come even sooner. In an act of desperation, Magtok grabbed the shattered record player, and hurried to the corner. There, he waited, shaking with adrenaline, waiting for the thing to show itself, to-
I see hi-IIIIEE!
Magtok savagely smashed the thing against the head of the behemoth repeatedly, cracking it even further, only succeeding in shoving the massive thing back a couple of inches in its confusion. A punch to the chest, and he sailed through the air and into a wall, smashing right through it, and sliding across the ground, until he's sitting against a large round pillar.
Magtok somehow managed to still feel nothing, but attributed it to the adrenaline still flowing through him. He tried to get back up, but his legs refused to cooperate, preferring instead to stay put. The thing lumbered over to him, drew back its drill-arm, made it begin to whir, and-
Magtok opened his eyes. Someone had put him in a gurney. Some of his mechanical bits were being repaired by a small, whirring drill thingy, and Sinatra...no, Vespe in a very convincing Sinatra voice was singing Somewhere Beyond the Sea, complete with trumpets and such. Though Magtok couldn't see Ratavo, he was absolutely certain that it was his bard buddy doing the crooning.
But none of that was important right now. Who put him in a gurney? Why did his head, and pretty much everything else hurt? And where the hell was he?
Oh! My beloved, you're finally awake! I hope you-
Something sounded a bit like someone shoving the lovestruck Surly out of the way and told to leave, and then said someone setting something down on a table across from Maggy. A moment later, our cyborg found Mordokai's face looming over him.
It seems we meet again, Magtok. Once again it seems you've succeeded in doing more harm to yourself than what was previously thought survivable. Tell me, just what was going through your mind when you thought you'd jump off a cliff with nothing but an UMBRELLA?!
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. And as the protagonist, I kinda assumed any last-ditch effort combined with a cliffhanger ending would go well for me.
Yes, well it seems the author isn't quite as much a slave to those narrative devices as you thought, because Surly climbed down to get you, and now you're here, in Castle Frosthand.
Here in wha-?
Mordokai smirked, and leaned in closer towards Magtok, gently sliding a hand against Magtok's face, much to the cyborg's displeasure and to the joy of fangirls everywhere.
Yes, Magtok. Your otherworldly associate, the feared Elder Evil himself, has been beaten by the forces of good. While you were distracted by Surly, we moved out of our woodland headquarters, taking Rabbit with us, and we defeated that "snowflake who thinks he's Cthulhu", as you so aptly put once. If THUG can defeat an ancient monster like Draken Frosthand, what could you possibly do to stop me?
Magtok then responded by wrapped his hands on Mordokai's neck, and much to the fangirls' even greater joy, planted a kiss right on the nearly-fallen hero's lips.
And then, just before Magtok's scalpel could cut its way across the neck of the now blushing defender of justice, Saint Nil walked in.
Nil!
Nil!
Sorry, am I interrupting something?
Magtok quickly shoved Mordokai away, tucking the scalpel back into his sleeve. He opened his mouth to explain that none of what Nil had seen was what it looked like, that it was something else entirely, when Mordokai stepped in for him.
It was CPR, Nil. Magtok was choking on the err...
While he was telling me about how THUG took Draken's castle and life, I took his lunch to be mean but started choking on it.
That last comment from Maggy was pretty close to the truth. Before Nil had walked in, Magtok had grabbed Mordy's meal, intending to poison and put it back on the plate before the paladin noticed, in case the decapitation somehow failed. The thing was still tucked in his robes, and unfortunately, it seemed he wasn't going to get to kill Mordy even with that today, now that Nil had ruined everything.
Speaking of Nil, the aged warrior sighed, and shook his head.
The Heimlich maneuver is for choking on Mordokai's frankfurter, CPR's for people who've been drowning. Now if you two are done making out and Magtok's done trying to slit your throat, I'd like to have a word with our captive myself.
Mordokai's face was full of hurt as he stepped away from Magtok. Said hurt then quickly turned to cold hate, and a rather profane phrase was silently mouthed by the holy fighter before he stormed out of the room.
Alright, then. As I'm sure you've figured out, we've managed to capture both you and Vespe, who's happily playing BioShock due to his earlier cooperation. Happy however, put Masato in critical condition, and is still out there, somewhere. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could give us some sort of lead to her location, Magtok. I could probably talk the others into letting you go if you did that for me.
Magtok glared at the paladin. Not out of any sort of dislike, he actually thought Saint Nil was a pretty neat guy, for a paladin, but because it was the best sort of response he could think of.
And what makes you think I'd betray one of our trio for my own personal gain?
Because you're Magtok, of course.
Oh...Right. Well, you've got me there. Hmm...No, I don't have any ideas, sorry.
No, I think you're just giving up too easily, Mag. But never mind that, we'll get to her soon enough. What's important right now, is that you put considerable thought into turning. Make no mistake, we're doing our best to repair you, to help you, but if you don't give redemption a try, I'm afraid Mordokai's going to go against my orders and kill you in your sleep.
So? I've got plenty of clones.
Ah, right. Mordokai forgot to tell you, we've bribed AMEN to shut your cloning labs down. You're currently the last Magtok remaining.
What?! But...you...
Shock gave way to a hardening of features. Sure, there were a lot of trouble-makers in AMEN, but the thought of perma-killing their kill-toy (A job he didn't relish) was unspeakable. There was only one smelly elf who'd dare to do something that backstabby...
If I get out of this, someone back home is going to die forty-two times. With a spoon.
That's...interesting. In any case, would you consider joining us, Magtok? Your life, and not just one measly clone but your entire existence depends on it now. THUG is the way of the future now. It won't be long before the rest of the evil-doers are given the same offer as you, Mag.
Magtok bit his lip, trying to resist the urge to laugh. It slipped out as a bit of snickering, moved up a bit to chuckling, and then exploded into his signature evil villain laughter.
Where's the rebel? Join me and together we'll rule? I'll bet next you'll be claiming to be my dad or something, trying to use the whole nonexistent backstory thing against me.
Nil bit his lip for a moment, not quite sure how to put what he now had to explain. Magtok recognized the look, and immediately tried to take back that recognition.
No...no, that's not true!
I'm afraid it is. I'm not sure why you went and erased me from your memory, but Magtok I am your father. It's part of the reason why you have to join us, I can't go and let my son die a crook.
Magtok screamed at Nil. It was a lie, had to be, an elaborate lie, the old man had been practicing this for a while, no other reason why he could say such a thing with a straight face.
That's...that's impossible!
Search your heart, son. You know it to be true.
Meanwhile, far away from Saint Nil's dramatic revelation, Happy had finally found her way out of the woods, and turned into a large bird to perch in a dead tree beside Draken's once-proud castle, now the impromptu home of THUG. It was now all up to her to rescue her sister Rabbit.
I have a bad feeling about this...
The End