Granted, but you are exiled to live upon the life-size papier-mâché replica Earth for the rest of your days.
I wish to be able to control the weather in real life using my TV remote.
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Granted, but you are exiled to live upon the life-size papier-mâché replica Earth for the rest of your days.
I wish to be able to control the weather in real life using my TV remote.
Tragically controlling the weather burns battery life really quick. You can get a good 3 minutes before having to replace all 8 though!
I wish my hair was straight.
Your hair falls straight into the trash bin.
I wish for a mustache that I can twirl like an old timey villain.
Granted! You find that you start sleepwalking, however, and committing an escalating series of crimes while the mustache puppets your body at night. It's only a matter of time before someone gets tied to the railway tracks.
I wish to free Gravitron from the mustache's influence before things get that far.
Granted! Everyone else gets a moustache instead that puppets them, and as the sole moustache-less person, they are the desired target for the moustaches.
I wish I could see a Galapagos tortoise, a trilobite, a boabob, and whatever the previous poster forgot to wish for.
These hallucinations will let you see all sorts of things that totadileplayz forgot to wish for.
I wish for a freshly baked, non-hallucinatory, scone.
Believe it or not this piece of charcoal is actually a scone. Somebody set the oven to 940 degrees.
I wish my teakettle wasn't so noisy.
Easily solved by cursing it to never boil.
I wish for a king-sized bed.
You find yourself in the King of Eswatini's bedchamber. His bodyguards are curious as to how you got there and what the hell you think you're doing.
I wish to free the world from mustachification!
Granted. Everyone goes completely bald.
I wish I had my hair back. And that Patrick Stewart would stop laughing at everyone who is now freaking out.
The complete understanding of quantum mechanics is too much for your limited human brain, and your head explodes.
I wish I had a better job.
You're now a professional gambler.
I wish the cicadas weren't keeping me awake.
Granted, you now can't hear cicadas at all over the sound of tap-dancing elephants with accordions. And a five - six - seven ...POLKA!
I wish all genies got a bit senile and half-deaf for next three wishes.
The genie becomes retroactively half deaf and senile for the duration of time it took you to make your wish, meaning that they neither heard it exactly nor remembered the details.
You find yourself floating down a river, half dead. In the distance, some people are building a pyramid.
EDIT: I wish I wouldn't forget to make wishes
Granted! I mind-controlled you into editing your post. You're welcome.
I wish for a paid vacation.
Granted but it's not your vacation. Your coworker gets to enjoy his vacation and you get double shifts for a week to cover for him.
I wish for more hallucinations. They sound like fun.
They do indeed sound fun, but they look terrifying and feel nauseating.
I wish for the key that unlocks every door.
Granted, but it's trapped with a one way teleport to an otherworldly void with no doors.
I wish for another hour in bed
*Teleports you inside your mattress for an hour*
I wish for a giant robot spider bed that can take me to new places while I sleep! There's no way that could go wrong!
You get a giant robot/spider bed that takes you places while you sleep! (Tragically the door to your bedroom and house was too small).
I wish to lose 15 pounds.
You get it. Good luck trying to put it on!
I wish I had more money.
Granted! Here's one yen, a thousand Kronen, a million bolívares, a billion Reichsmarks, a trillion Zimbabwean dollars and a quadrillion pengő.
I wish a mariachi band would perform at my family dinner tomorrow.
The "Mariachi Band" is actually a bunch of scotish bagpipers in disguise. Your ear drums rupture from the "music"
I wish that "Fred: The Movie" never existed
It's a one man show. I'm not sure how it got classified as a comedy. Must have been a computer glitch.
I wish I had glitch from the Reboot TV series.