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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
Spoiler
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Humans haven't evolved from chimps, humans and chimps evolved from the same species but are seperated evolutionary routes.
Yes, I am quite aware of this. However, my spell caster might not :smalltongue:
Now, would that be high-INT/low-WIS that would cause this mixup, or high-WIS/low-INT?
*May not make a high-INT, low-WIS wizard…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* When confronted by a mere 20 of the BBEG's mooks (each with a CR of 1/2), the 13th-level Wilder/Cleric and 15th-level Cleric/Bard are not to surrender to them.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not to live my character by the Chicago Way.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*I am not to live my character by the Chicago Way.
** Cannot watch Spoony's Counter Monkeys series in search for ideas.
Quote:
Yes, I am quite aware of this. However, my spell caster might not
Now, would that be high-INT/low-WIS that would cause this mixup, or high-WIS/low-INT?
High Int, low Wis, I say - guy' smart, but not exactly educated...or wise for that matter.
* Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
*** Cannot drive rest of the party and DM insane by asking them to explain how the two are possible at the same time.
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*before researching a reverse-evolution spell, I am to consider that birds, crocodiles and dinosaurs are all distantly related and it might be unwise to poke them, chonologically speaking.
** Cannot use reverse-evolution to see where the hell does owlbears come from.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*I am not to teach amazons how to 'polish the long spear.'
**Sheathing the longsword is not appropriate either.
***Replacing longsword with shortsword solves nothing.
****Teaching "put the longsword in the alternate sheath" is right out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ksheep
*May not make a high-INT, low-WIS wizard…
Wait...there are wizards that aren't high-INT, low-WIS?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Flame of Anor
Wait...there are wizards that aren't high-INT, low-WIS?
** Harkle Harpell is NOT what all wizards should aspire to be…
EDIT:
*** Neither is Rincewind…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
*** Wizard can NOT use Rapid Evolution on the god.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
High Int, low Wis, I say - guy' smart, but not exactly educated...or wise for that matter.
To paraphrase SMBC...
"How dare you! With who were you cheating on me!? You ****ing bastard!!"
High-WIS answer: "Baby, I love you! I'd never cheat on you!"
High-INT answer: "You mean 'with whom'."
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I am no longer allowed to throw guards off of their towers, solely to bodyslam them once they hit the ground.
* I am no longer allowed to be worshiped as a god at level 1.
* If my plan is to convince everyone that I'm a knight of noble birth, and not just some brigand who stole his stuff, I had better have a pretty good plan.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I will not try to take Weapon Focus and Weapon Specialization: Caltrops
* I will not give my gnome giant slayer climbing pitons so he can make climb checks on giants.
* I will no longer ambush my players with sociopathic halfling barbarians from inside their own Heward's Handy Haversack
*I will no longer call for random perception checks just to make them jumpy.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*"Attempting to create a god of atheism" is not an appropriate goal for my Ur-Priest.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My character may not be named "Dr. Spaceman."
**Pronouncing it Spa-che-man does not help
***He does hand out prescriptions of animal blood to "straighten the spine."
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
*** Cannot drive rest of the party and DM insane by asking them to explain how the two are possible at the same time.
****I am also not allowed to use rapid evolution to prove the theory of evolution wrong.
*****The existence of monsters that turn people into more monsters does not support my theory of evolution through mass spawn creation.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* "Captain Proton" is not a valid character concept
** The BBEG is not Chaotica
*** Nor is it Queen Arachnia
**** Holonovels written by Tom Paris are not to be used in character/world creation
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* Party's wizard cannot use rapid evolution to prove world's religions wrong.
** If Party's wizard does this, party's cleric cannot summon his god to prove him wrong
*** Cannot drive rest of the party and DM insane by asking them to explain how the two are possible at the same time.
The gods created the first organism, and set it into a suitable environment, which over billions of years and with the aid of divine presence, eventually emerged in their image. What's so hard about that? :smallbiggrin: :smalltongue:
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* I am no longer allowed to throw guards off of their towers, solely to bodyslam them once they hit the ground.
Again, once you have the hit due to survive it, when is this ever a bad idea? :smalltongue:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am to stop writing entire game systems, only to hide them inside my house only to be discovered after my suicide
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Doorhandle
Again, once you have the hit due to survive it, when is this ever a bad idea? :smalltongue:
Yes, but it's doing it at level 1, when you have single digit hit points, that makes it inadvisable. Granted, the fact that that character hasn't miraculously died yet is a good part of the aforementioned worship, given the stupid things he's done.
That said,
*Grappling two ogres in order to throw them into a river of lava is something best done at high levels, not Level 1. (To be fair, those ogres couldn't roll above a 5 to save their lives...)
Also, newBlazingAngel, is everything alright? That one's oddly specific, and a bit worrying.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
It's based off this writer who did something similar. I frankly have no idea who, could have even been a false memory on my part. I in no way plan to commit suicide and don't have the attention span to leave behind many home written game modules.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
* Not allowed to assassinate the big bad by hiding a vial of poison in my vagina.
(Not kidding, after I did it, the group literally told me "never do that again")
It's the GM's fault, really, s/he failed to remember Evil Overlord item #26:
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No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
* Not allowed to assassinate the big bad by hiding a vial of poison in my vagina.
(Not kidding, after I did it, the group literally told me "never do that again")
** Not allowed to assassinate the big bad via energy drain due to my succubus/thrall of the succubus queen (I can't spell her name to save my life) levels.
*** Not allowed to use sex as a weapon unless it does NOT involve the perform (sex) skill. I.e Flirting with the guard to get him to let us through.
****Smothering a guard with my Heaving Bosom/Chiseled Pecs is more acceptable, but still not encouraged.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
* Not allowed to assassinate the big bad by hiding a vial of poison in my vagina.
* If big bad is a woman I have to remind the DM that I can use Smite Evil on anything, before she attempts to rape me.
(I heard of a guy who did this once).
* If male character is trying o buy their freedom by offering BBEG night with female character, I can reveal BBEG is gay and have him drag said male character to his bedchambers. However, making this face while doing so is crossing the line.
** So is quoting that picture.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* If big bad is a woman I have to remind the DM that I can use Smite Evil on anything, before she attempts to rape me.
(I heard of a guy who did this once).
I once tried to deal with this by houseruling that Smite Evil can only be used with weapons capable of drawing blood.
And it... well... you can probably already guess how that turned out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am to stop insulting my players in foreign languages.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*I am to stop insulting my players in foreign languages.
** I am to stop using normal phrases in fictitious languages that sound menacing.
I had decided that the language of the Orcs in my campaign is Klingon (since I had a Klingon-English dictionary lying around. Don't ask.) They managed to capture an orc and started questioning him. He spat out answers in his guttural language. They thought he was threatening them, until one cast "Comprehend Languages" and found out he was simply asking where the bathroom was…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Craft (Cheese)
I once tried to deal with this by houseruling that Smite Evil can only be used with weapons capable of drawing blood.
And it... well... you can probably already guess how that turned out.
**Smite Evil can only be used with weapons which are capable of drawing blood from people other than female virgins.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Using Smite Evil with a whip while crying out, "Kneel before your master!" is not acceptable behavior for a paladin.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
** Not allowed to assassinate the big bad via energy drain due to my succubus/thrall of the succubus queen (I can't spell her name to save my life) levels.
I'm confused. Isn't that basically what that class is FOR?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lord_Gareth
*Using Smite Evil with a whip while crying out, "Kneel before your master!" is not acceptable behavior for a paladin.
** No, not even for a Grey Guard
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* I may not try to kill off annoying NPCs by setting them up with my character's psycho ex from their backstory.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Flame of Anor
**Smite Evil can only be used with weapons which are capable of drawing blood from people other than female virgins.
It was a pit fiend of all things, actually.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am only allowed one character at a time.
**Controlling a platoon of level 2 warriors does not equal a level twenty fighter.
***Trampling only does a d1 of damage.