He's
really old. More than that, I find it hard to believe he'd be allowed 400 years without entering the Academy; as I understand it (from Hitsugaya's flashback regarding the issue), there's real danger from someone with lots of power and little control. Just seems odd that he'd wait
that long. What could he possibly need 300 years of training for in a noble family? I could maybe see 50-100 years, but 300?
Even more than that, I find it rather unbelievable that he'd be allowed to just wander the Mortal World by himself. Even in a gigai, he'd have a noticeable spiritual signature; it'd be like hanging a sign on his back that says "Hollows! Free Meal Here!"
-
I like that he is really old, and while Hitsugaya indeed had trouble holding it in, that doesnt mean every potential Shinigami has to be that way. He is that old, because i feel it conveys the seriousness his family has with their membership and dogma for joining the Gotei.
-
the family is not a "noble" family, i make that clear. They value training and dedication. They treat the Soul Society like a precious gift, and what they do there reflects on them past their days in it. They train and study, that is just who they are i dont see why that is a bad thing. Its just a different kind of history than the norm.
-
As for the "wandering" the Earth realm. I always had it in there as a means to provide potential future RP, and if you read where i went with a version of this character in another RP you would see how it can work. (i can provide the link if you want). It was meant as a gift to his family for some ancient service rendered, and due to limitations in characters i am not sure if the fact that they have to check in often with a communication device and even come back to SS regularly is included in my description. also i make it clear that they are not in Gigai. Having said that, i could clear that up a bit, to make it more clear that they have to come back regularly as well as have some kind of special Gigai that hides Reiatsu like Urahara. Bu, as for it being unbelievable, that seems just a matter of opinion. TO me it seems kind of interesting, and as i said something that has potential for future RP if someone chooses.
"Family Zanpakutou"...Thing is, we've discussed "passing down Zanpakutou" before, and I think our general consensus was "It doesn't happen". Zanpakutou are a section of a Shinigami's souls; a reflection of their identity and character. He'd have the beginnings of a spirit from the moment he came to Soul Society with power (again, I point to Hitsugaya, who had no physical sword, but still had Hyorinmaru calling to him), let alone after centuries of sitting around. Someone else who recalls these discussions can correct me, but I thought we established that Zanpakutou spirits died with their weilders. You can, perhaps, pass on the empty "shell" of a sealed physical zanpakutou, but that's all it is: an empty shell. Tousen didn't claim his friend's shikai, he claimed her physical sword. He then used it to unleash his own potential (and both his shikai attacks are sound/vibration based, so it's not like they don't both fit, alongside his bankai) with his own actual Zanpakutou Spirit.
Basically, I'm not sure that Zanpakutou work that way, at least in our setting.
-
I can understand where you are coming from here, perhaps i can tighten this section up to make it more clear by making it more vague. The way i saw it was that, it was that each family is intrinsically linked through something beyond their personal soul. And that little piece is what they pass down into the Zanpaktou. I see it kind of like Byakuya and his dad and Ginrei. High degree of spiritual pressure is passed down it seems. If i had more space, i would explain that each new person in the Goto family, manifests their "Goto" zanpaktou in different ways with different powers. The through line just ends up being the name "Goto" which is how it is named and thus activated. Since the family doesnt allow for any other family members to enter the Academy then there is never potential for overlap. So while it is a "family" zanpaktou, the way they connect to it is the only thing that is passed down, not the powers or strength of power.
Most of the rest of the family stuff makes sense. Though...who in the world is he afraid of getting poisoned by? Or is he suffering from paranoid delusions? :smallconfused:
-
it is purposely vague, so as to provide some backstory, since he would be appearing out of nowhere. It can make for RP or it can not
Academy history seems fine.
Um...why do you have one of the past Commander-Generals "Disappearing"? We kind of already have a set history with those guys. Check
here. Notice how there was 1 CG for the last 1000 years, until just 2 years ago. No "mysterious disappearances" or anything of the sort.
-
I can change that, and make him just have been a normal 1st Division member gradually working his way up. I only was trying to make it unique, so as to give a reason for him gaining more leadership and confidence. No worries.
One problem is that in all of the prose describing what life was like for him at these various points...there's no chronological frame of reference. When was he in 1st Division? When was he promoted to 3rd Seat there? When did he become VC of 9th Division? You give us a timeframe for pre-Shinigami days, but after that, it's all really vague.
-
I purposely made it vague since i figured there would be some timeline things i was unaware of. Once he was accepted in general, i could go back and fill in the blanks.
Moving on to his Zanpakutou entry. Putting aside the "ancestral spirit" thing for the moment...
Okay. I understand you're the sort of person who likes describing things. That's fine, generally speaking. However, you should keep in mind that these entries are for the benefit of other players as well as for your "initial approval". Part of this benefit is a handy quick reference for some things. Specifically, I'm looking at the "Sealed state physical appearance" section. All that information is all well and good...but it takes reading two paragraphs to find out the umbrella has a sword in it. Might I recommend a sort of "summary" of the physical appearance, similar to other entries?
Here's Masaru's as an example:
Short and to the point. "It is this big, this color, this style". Photo links aren't bad at all. If your physical description is over a paragraph, consider condensing the information.
Part of the problem in this case is that you're including information extraneous to the interests of that sub-section. You're talking about history, abilities, attitudes, when it should just be the physical description itself.
-
i understand what you are saying, but i just disagree. I feel like all the extra stuff makes it more interesting and have deeper meaning, than a simple. As for it being for quick reference, i had not read that anywhere that i should write it as such, and if that was to be, then why was i not told so that i did not waste my time?
-
I don't like to be brief, i believe it as rich of detail and context as i can, i dont think i should be overly criticized because of it. But maybe i deserve it.
The "Sealed state special ability" section suffers something similar. You start off as if you're going to briefly describe what it does...and then give us 3 paragraphs before we find out. Give us the short, condensed description first, then if you want that extra explanation, put it in another spoiler, or say "long version", or something. Again, this entry should strive to be a quick and easy reference to your character, so that other players can take a look and quickly form a mental picture of your character and his actions, even as you might be posting descriptions.
-
see above
For skills:
On Zanjutsu: It's hard to tell...Is he supposed to be average for a Vice Captain, which means better than many other Shinigami? Is he sub-par for a Vice-Captain (not that there's a completely set level of "competence" there anyways)?
-
i think it is clear, there are 1000's of Shinigami, Hirokatsu is above most of them, but when it comes to Vice Captains in general he is not of the upper echelon (i guess unless they are all terrible or something).
Also, and this might just be the tabletop gamer in me, when you say he "fights two-handed", it evokes the image of him using two hands on a single weapon. "Paired weapons" might be better, but this is much more subjective.
-
i did say two handed...not "two-handed. I can make this more clear, but i think the extra explanation after those words, makes it very clear "He will often fight two handed with his sword in his right hand and his open or closed umbrella in his left to deflect or block."
His special technique is a bit...um. What you're describing, especially the last bit about hitting so precisely he drives a possessing Hollow out of a Shinigami's soul, is much more like a Shikai ability. That kind of easy reference to "hit this spot for massive damage" is too powerful for a simple concentration ability. Even making it a Kido, especially one that's not high level, is too much of a stretch.
-
i can ditch it, it was only meant to show that while he is not an expert swordsman, he has still trained extensively with what he IS good at. If it is a huge problem, then i can ditch it. It was only, again, a potential ability that could be used for helping RP or making something more interesting. NOT as a loophole so i can dominate. I think i reiterate more times than not that this character doesnt like to fight, or even draw his weapon unless it is dire. I wouldnt play him away from that idea regardless of his powers potential.
As well, this feels like it conflicts with some of your earlier descriptions, where he has so much power his spiritual pressure is overwhelming unless he holds up the umbrella (if I read that correctly; honestly I had trouble sorting that out) to keep it from pressing down on others. Because spiritual pressure is, in essence, "overflow". If your character can't control the overflow enough to prevent it from leaking out to the level of inconveniencing others, it begs the question of how he suddenly has precise enough control to do something with his spiritual energy that is entirely unprecedented and unfounded.
-
this is all about description and setting a mood of uniqueness to him. The idea was always he has too much spiritual pressure for him to handle at one time, and the umbrella helps focus it on him instead of others. This does not change how he senses it in others. This can be redone on my end, but i liked that he uses the umbrella to focus his spiritual energy on himself as a kind of fighting aid to help explain his speed.
His speed is...really, it's a bit much. The "moves so fast he can be in 2 places at once" likely places him above
anyone else in the game, at least offhand. I'm pretty sure even the Captain of the 2nd isn't actually that fast, at least not without releasing. If you had to rank his speed, on a scale of 1 to 100, where would you place it? Because right now, I'd place it at 100, possibly 110 (which kind of breaks the scale, but that's the point). I'd suggest notably downgrading it, and just saying he's "very fast, but not the fastest", and maybe saying it's "Captain level speed". That keeps it vague, unless you do battle stats (which aren't required, but are another handy quick reference), where you can say it's, say, 90 out of 100 or some such.
-
i think this is clear also, "Hirokatsu is perhaps the one of the fastest Shinigami in the Gotei, eclipsed only by Captains and perhaps a few others, though it is hard to tell with speeds at such a high level." is what i wrote. Not as fast as Cpts (though leaving it open if there is a really slow one), but probably faster than all the other Vice Captains (leaving it open for others to be if it is to be so). I wouldnt rank it out of a 100, since i do not know the levels of others, which is why i explained in the way i did to leave it somewhat open on both ends. The descriptions were to help visualize that. In the series it seems like most Shunpos are blurs, so i say faster than blur, since he is supposed to be fast (it and Reiryoku are his two main talents, i dont see why they cant be high). Also i say "talk in one place and be in another), which only speaks on terms of his voice not his visual place. And most of this is entirely context driven since the opponent or personal observing may have uber-perception.
I can't speak for the KC, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't have to make a special request to learn. Just not sure how the "private lessons" part factors in.
-
how would i know that? i think the way i put it makes it more clear that by him "asking" shows that he is still struggling with it yet wanting to get better
His spiritual pressure control is...it's a bit much. The amount of pressure you're describing feels like more than even the Commander-General can put out. Beyond that, he's performing "tricks" with it that are beyond the scope of what spiritual pressure ought to be able to do. It's just overflow of spiritual energy, a "leak on the tap", if you will.
-
i disagree, i think the "tricks" as you say are more meant to show he has high control of it as well as high perception of it. Which is what i think they show, i am not making someone pass out by just getting close to me (like Yamamoto does), i am just showing i have a high degree of control of it which calls forth the those ideas of what Yamamoto did, just on a lower scale, but that is my opinion. As for the sensitivity. Again, it is means of emphasis, i say he can do these things "when he focuses", which would lead to believe that if he does not focus he cannot do so, which opens the possibility that he can be stopped or made to be in a position where he cant focus. Which is up to the discretion of the RP.
-
Of the 5 powers, i chose 2 to be very good at (both of which have limitations), the others i diminished my capability or only made it as high as what would be expected of a Vice Captain, and in the case of Zanjutsu specialized on a specific way to fight.
As well, being able to casually track everything in Seireitei like that also feels like a Shikai ability of some sort. It's one thing to have some sort of spiritual awareness. But he's going way way beyond that, turning himself into a sort of spiritual radar array.
The description of his shikai blade is somewhat confusing, with various references to its length not giving a totally clear picture.
-
i think it is clear, slightly longer than 1ft blade (from wrist past elbow), with about 1ft long handle.
The shikai power...well. It's definitely interesting. But again, I'm wondering if there's any counter at all for it? Considering his speed and how he apparently fights with it, it seems really easy for him to kill an opponent. Just put a couple nicks in vital areas, then start striking random spots on their arms, legs, and back. By the time he severs a limb, the enemy's organs will be mush, and their head likely gone. But if an opponent can, at least to a point, resist the effect, either through how tough they are, having some sort of regen, or even having enough spiritual power to "push back" against the effect, at least lessening it, then it would feel much less...final.
-
I thought figuring out a counter to it was what made this all fun. I think it is kind of lame for me to have to come up with the ways to defeat me before i get to even RP with it. And as i have said before, i am not trying to abuse anything. It's all about the story. In bleach it seems most of the fights, are a battle of trying to figure out a way around people's powers.
-
if it is required of me to give multiple examples of how my power could be defeated, then i will, as i have thought of it at length, and fought with a similar version in other RP situations (not all of which I won). I think it has intrigue, uniqueness, a cool look to it, and that combined with the fact that the character doesnt want to use it or fight in general leaves it to be a rather special thing and something to be treated with respect as a player playing it and as a player interacting with it
-
it is supposed to feel intense, and "final" which is why i explain the theory of it and how Hirokatsu uses it. He uses it only if he must, and even when he fights with it the ability itself forces the foe to reevaluate. If they want to die, it is up to them, as i say in the text. Which should feel "final" and stressful. That Hirokatsu knows of its devastation and doesnt uses it often only furthers that. It isnt unstoppable it is only terrifying and a tough power to work around.
Finally, as for the bankai, as a Vice-Captain, he shouldn't currently have access to it (a decision we made for the whole game); however, you will want to submit a revised version at some point so that we can help you craft it properly.
-
as i said in my earlier post (to Knight's), "i had no idea about VC's not having Bankai, (even though i think it is kind of weird that magically you can have Bankai if you are promoted one day...since Cpts all have it in the Manga...which is why i said my character had started to achieve it in his inner world, but cant do it in RP, showing he is training in his inner world so as to show he could be Cpt worthy if given the shot and it to not be some magic power up)". I said he has achieved it in his inner world, but he cant use it in RP. And since it isnt approved anyways, it couldnt be used regardless. I will work on a new one and propose it and get it approved before i would ever use it, the statement was merely to show his training of it, so if a promotion came it COULD make more sense