*confused* it still says crack-pairings when you come in doesn't it?
:smallbiggrin:
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THIS THREAD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!
:smalleek: I just realized that Nothing on this thread is squicky to me at all!!!
6 Cookies to anyone who can make a story that is squicky to me!
I've been feeling a little lacking when it comes to my output, so I'll try to make up for it. I haven't got a story, sadly, but I do have the next best thing - a picture! Perfectly work-safe, though rabid old-school Star Trek fans may not want to click...
In case you were wondering, yes, those are my dolls. And yes, they do cuddle like that. Almost all the time, in fact. I can't help it, they just look so cute together. In my defense, the relationship does make senseas much as any such thing canin a way - both are intelligent, logically-minded, nonhuman humanoids who tend towards verbosity and occasional snarking.
Something interesting I've noticed - not only is V the most popular character for both story and banner, almost everything (meant seriously) involving our favorite androgyne is either sad and emotional or incredibly cute, while often both. It's like V just injects woobie-ness into everything.
Gee, thanks!
Wow, an actual cookie... *stares at it in awe* I do have ideas for a short photostory to go with the pairing, but it would require a Kirk doll. (No, not for that, you perverts. :smallamused: Though I suppose V could narrate to someone instead... hmm...)
Ok, I get out my Diceshaker app...(On my iPod, same as rolling dice really)
blah blah blah roll roll roll
The Orc Chieftain x Haley x Kazumi with True Love.
Someone. WRITE. THIS.
Someone needs to write a crack about those girls Belkar just introduced him to.
Eh, go ahead and sign me up for the PM list.
I most certainly meet those age requirements.
It's not used very often, as I don't really like writing smut, but someone asked me to do it. Once a month or so at the most.
oh gods what have i done
That is...actually pretty adorable.
Also, sign me up for the PM list too. I know I only contributed a few stories (and not my best work, either), but hey, maybe I'll write some more if I feel like I'm part of the gang, eh? :smallbiggrin:
I would like a pm for Wei-man's old story about THE GREATEST THIEVES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!/Overpriced Apples girl
First I noticed all the odd signatures people had. Quite a few of them made me laugh, so I figured I'd take a look at this thread.
First reaction: "WHAT THE?!" :smalleek:
Second reaction: "Hey wait..." :smallconfused:
Third reaction: "HAH HAH HAH HAH!!" :smallbiggrin:
Other than the occassional "go-bleach-brain" story, a lot of what I read while skimming through this was hilarious! I love the idea of crack pairings that make no sense at all but get written up any way... The less sense they make, the better! :smalltongue:
Unfortunately, a friend of mine has my dice, so I myself cannot make any pairings at the moment... Bummer.
I will, however, take you up on that offer as soon as somebody reminds me who Kazumi is. :smallbiggrin:
The pregnant Redshirt-turned-Noble ninja-killer. :)
There is no excuse. :smallamused:Quote:
Unfortunately, a friend of mine has my dice, so I myself cannot make any pairings at the moment... Bummer.
Online Die Roller
Crystal and Lord Kubota w/ Pregnancy.
Hoo boy.
-Ba-dum-TISH-
Okay, lets see what I can do...
Orc Chief Grukgruk x Haley x Kazumi (True Love)
Spoiler
One day Chief Grukgruk, the Orc who'd helped to lead his people into the comedic glory of Giggles the Puppet-god of Slapstick, recieved a letter. Luckily, it had been written with very simple grammar and lots of stick figures, so he got the gist of it. Apparently, Lord Hinjo, the man who's underlings had helped bring Chief Grukgruk's tribe out of their ignorant worship of Banjo, had invited Chief Grukgruk to his kingdom as a sign of good will between their kingdoms. Lord Shinjo believed that they would make better allies than enemies... and plus there would be pie. Chief Grukgruk could not argue with pie. (Giggles forbid arguing with pie, after all...)
At some indeterminable point in time later, Chief Grukgruk, Shaman Vurkle, and a few other orcs wearing orange and red robes found themselves in the court of Lord Shinjo. While Lord Shinjo was seated in the center of the room, several other people were sitting around the sides of room, including several humans that looked oddly familiar. (Order of the Stick is there to say hi...) Chief Grukgruk let Shaman Vurkle do all the talking for two reasons - 1, Vurkle was a Shaman, and Shinjo was a Paladin, so Chief Grukgruk assumed they'd understand each other a bit better since they were both religious guys. 2, the raven-haired noblewoman (Kazumi) standing in one corner of the room looked really, really hot. Chief Grukgruk began to make small steps to the side, slowly creeping across the room and over to the lady who'd caught his eyes.
"Hi, my name Chief Grukgruk. What your name?" Chief Grukgruk introduced himself with a small bow, which made the bones atop his head rattle.
"Kazumi Kato..." the noblewoman replied, wincing from the aura of stank that permeated the air around Chief Grukgruk.
"Kazumi Kato," Chief Grukgruk grinned stupidly, Chief Grukgruk thinks he's in love.
Dead silence followed, naturally. Kazumi's expression was one of shock, Lord Shinjo stopped talking and stared in confusion, and the Order of the Stick began to place bets on amongst themselves on how this would turn out. Everyone except for Haley, of course... She just sat there, mouth agape. Finally, Shaman Vurkle broke the silence. Hurray! Shaman Vurkle finally gets to do marriage rites of Giggles! He took long time to write them in way that properly shows love of Giggles in the happy union. Somebody go get slapping sticks!"
"Marriage?!" Kazumi gasped, taking a step back. "I- Uh... I don't think my husband Daigo would like that very much!" (Daigo was not there, since he was off taking care of the future air of House Kato...)
"Daigo? Why that name sound familair?" Chief Grukgruk scratched his green chin in confusion.
"That scrawny guy we tried to sacrifice to Banjo, in our ignorance..." Shaman Vurkle interjected.
"Ah, fond memories..." Elan sighed from beside Haley, who was still staring with her mouth open in shock.
"Ah. Right. Yeah, Chief Grukgruk take good care of you if you be his wife. You much better off with Chief Grukgruk!" the Chief exclaimed triumphantly.
"No she's not!" Haley's voice suddenly filled the court of Lord Hinjo.
"She's not?" a chorus of confused voices answered back.
"No, she's not!" Haley snarled, jumping up onto the table the Order of the Stick was seated at. "And Chief Grukgruk wouldn't be better off with her!"
"Who he better off with, then?" Chief Grukgruk cocked his head to the side, rattling his bone hat yet again.
"ME!!" Haley yelled, pointing at herself. "Don't you remember me?! Try to imagine me with long hair, instead of this haircut..."
Chief Grukgruk gasped. He began to experience a flashback, remembering many years ago when a merchant ship had stopped by his island to trade goods with his people. He recalled a young woman who'd snuck off the ship and plundered his camp, stealing many things from him... including his heart. In the few days the ship's crew was on the island, Chief Grukgruk and the thief had grown very close... and had even fallen in love. But alas, the woman had to leave with the ship, for she had a mission in her life that still required completing. But she'd promised that one day, they be re-united... and they could share their true love yet again. And since the day he'd watched that ship dissappear over the horizon, Chief Grukgruk had looked forward to the day he'd see Haley Starshine again. "H-Haley?! Chief Grukgruk not believe it!" the Chief exclaimed as he began to ran towards the table.
"You'd better believe it!" Haley yelled, leaping off the table and into Chief Grukgruk's awaiting arms. "So if anybody is getting married, its us!"
"Fine by me!" Chief Grukgruk grinned. "Shaman Vurkle, fetch the slapping sticks! You has marriage to do!"
"Yaaaaaay! Shaman Vurkle exclaimed, waving his arms in the air.
"WAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Elan wailed, his tear-drenched face collapsing into his hands. "WAAAAAHH!!"
"There, there, lad..." Durkon patted the Bard on the back. "Aye, too, have known tha stinging pain of heartbreak..."
"Its not that!" wailed Elan. "Its just... That was such an epic plot twist! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!! BUHWUHAHAHAH....."
"Riiiiight..." Durkon blinked confusedly.
"So now that Haley's left you, who you gonna play the hero for now?" Belkar arched an eyebrow. "The only other chick who's ever had the hots for you was that half-Orc ninja you told us about..."
"Oh, you mean Therkla?" Shaman Vurkle suddenly asked. "Giggles showed Shaman Vurkle the wonders of resurrection. Very handy when worship services include mass beatings..."
"Sooo..." Elan suddenly looked up from his tear-fest, a confused look on his face. "What you're saying is-"
Elan was interupted by an orange and red robed Orc looming up from nowhere behind him. The orc suddenly threw back the hood of its robe, revealing Therkla. "So what was that you wrote about an awesome girlfriend on my tombstone?"
"Shaman Vurkle!" Elan yelled back to the Orc. "Get more slapping sticks! We're going to have a second wedding!"
---
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Xykon suddenly screamed, flailing his arms and legs as he rolled out of his bed and onto the floor. The impact set his left arm skittering across the floor, and Lich panted for breath as he tried to rationalize the nightmare he'd just had. "Pant... pant... pant... Phew... Just a nightmare... Just a nightmare... Phew..."
"Hey boss..." Redcloak suddenly entered Xykon's bedroom, a letter in his hand. "Apparently, we've been invited to a wedding for some Orcs and the Order of the stick..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!" Xykon screamed, once again flopping out of his bed and onto the floor. This time, both his arms popped out of socket and skidded to opposite sides of the room. "*%@#ING DOUBLE DREAMS!! GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHRRRGGG!!!!"
Phew... Okay... That was not supposed to be that long... but I was bored, and I hate leaving loose ends, even for crack fics... :smalleek:
Reminds me of my chief Grukgruk story...
Please don't tell me I spent all that time writing something that has already been done... :smalleek: