Two things, first, mention who is talking more - particularly in that opening scene. Second, it's a facehoof, not a hoofpalm (don't tell me how that would work, please).Quote:
Teaser for my fanfic I am working on:
SpoilerShow
Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack were cleaning up the library after a storm that came roaring through Ponyvill. They had to individually dry each page in the books, and then put them back on the appropriate shelf.
“Ah can’t believe that the storm broke all the windows!”
“Neither can I, now there’s glass everywhere!”
“I just hope the books are okay……”
“Don’t worry, Twilight! We’ll be able to put everything back the way it was!”
“Especially with me here, we’ll have it done in no time!”
They had just put away the last book when Applebloom walked in, she had something in her saddlebags too.
“Hey there Applebloom, what yew got there sis’?”
“Something ah want you guys to try, it’s called Caverns and Centaurs!”
Twilight gave a small frown.
“I don’t know, I’ve read some books about it, and there’s people who say that it’s evil…..”
“That’s hogwash! Just play it, and then you’ll see there is nothing to worry about!”
“Well, we did just finish up here, I guess we could play.”
“Ahright lil’ sis’, show us how to play.”
---2 Hours Later---
After taking some time to teach them, and to help them create their character sheets, Applebloom set up her CM screen and got out the dice. She also grabbed snacks and drinks. She set them down on the table where everypony else was sitting. Applejack had chosen to be a paladin, Twilight; a wizard, Rarity; an enchantress, Rainbow Dash; a ranger, and Pinkie Pie; a psion. They each took a set of dice from the dice Applebloom brought, and rolled them a couple times nervously to get used to them. Applebloom cleared her throat, somehow making her accent not apparent in her voice.
“You all met in a tavern, and decided to help fight the dragon on the edge of town together. This task was given to you by the lord of the town himself, for the dragon had been burning crops on the edge of town-“
“That fiend! What will all the ponies do without their apples!”
“Sister, please talk in character!”
Applejack cleared her throat, her voice rang clear without her usual speech.
“My fellows, we shall defeat this beast, lest he creates more trouble!”
Applebloom hoofpalmed.
“Just, just let me finish, sis’.”
She cleared her throat again.
“For the dragon had been burning crops on the edge of town. Your reward for the job is being able to take all you want from the dragon’s hoard, which is rumored to be large.”
Anyone have a suggestion on how I can do Applejack's and Applebloom's accents right? I'm having a hard time with that.
Edit: Ooh, page 49, care to give hints on the next thread's title Oh Great and Powerful Trixie?