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Originally Posted by
Beni-Kujaku
I'm a bit disappointed by the Zurrzirr's attacks. Only claws, really? I would have liked to see a scorpion stinger if you want to go the scorpion/dragonfly hybrid route. Not even a poison, or Improved Grab, or any rider at all? At least affecting a grappled creature with pollen every round would have given the zurrzirr a bit more personality.
The "scorpion" part of the description is mostly because it was the best way I could come up to say "it's got a long tail like a dragonfly, but it can move and bend it instead of being stiff". I also don't see why it should have Improved Grab or something like that; it's not a carnivore after all.
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Can it do that at will? Isn't it out of pollen at one point? Does it eat the pollen itself? Does it have a hive? Does it willingly pollinate the flowers of the plane?
Yes, it can do so at will. I thought about having some kind of mechanic where it needs to "reload" pollen, but it got to complicated for no gain. So I went with the simple "whenever it needs pollen it has pollen". No, it feeds on the nectar of the flowers. No, it doesn't live in hives. It forms at best small packs. Pollinating is practically all it does.
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I'd like to know more about its society, or, barring that, its life cycle. I don't know what makes it "wood plane"-ey, or why it can live in the plane of Air. As it is, it feels like a background monster with no reason to interact with the party. Overall, a bit disappointed by the monster, besides the name which is great.
I mean, its a horse-sized vermin that exists to pollinate impossibly large flowers, the kind you'd probably see on a world-tree. So it fits Wood, and it fits Air because it has too many wings and just the bare minimum of legs. I mean, I could take off the rest of the legs and have it have even more wings I guess.
But a bit more life cycle I can do. Do you like this additional paragraph:
Zurrzirrs are nectar drinkers. Their preferred flowers are those large enough that they can practically bath in them, covering themselves with pollen of all kind while sucking up the nectar at the ground. Zurrzirrs are usually solitary, but from packs if food is plentyful. As the Elemental Planes don't have seasons, zurrzirr matings don't happen periodical. Instead the formation of a pack triggers the mating instincts. Zurrzirr matings are preceded by acrobatic flight displays. After mating, the female lays sticky clumps of eggs at the undersides of the leaves of their food trees. The eggs hatch within two weeks and the nymphs, who are vegetarious, grow to full size and winged state within three months. Zurrzirrs live up to three years, less when mating often.
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Sure, that's not a bad template. I'm a bit doubtful of the +0 LA. Burrow is generally slightly better than swim, and gaining +2 Str for -2 Dex is just asking for min-maxing. My first thought was that Water Orcs would love this template. Maybe you already thought about it by restricting it to non-humanoids, which I thought felt a bit artificial. Perhaps the type restriction is enough, but I'd consider removing the +2 Str to align this template with the Amphibious one.
Yeah, removing the Str is probably the right call. Fixed.
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Like was already said, a very wholesome monster, with well-written appearance (I particularly like the mask-face), lore and personality. I very much likey. Agree with LA+5 (maybe +6), but I'd increase the CR to 7. Even if we don't count limited wish, there are slightly too many high-level SLAs for CR 6, especially on an Outsider. I chuckled at the fact that even the narrator got bored listing all the Huangdi's titles ^^ Also agree with how Calm Weather uses the 5e dispelling method, only requiring a roll if the targetted effect is of a higher level than the dispelling effect. Probably should have been the same in 3.5 as well.
CR increased. I'm glad you like them.
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Urgh. One single ability on a 7 RHD creature, and it's a defensive one? The number of options of a monster should grow with its number of RHD. Here, there is no reason I can see not to only give it 3 or 4 RHD. Especially for a nice and playful species, 7 RHD seems kind of a lot. I'd like to know a few ways with which they use their natural talents to play pranks. How do they use Smoulder if not in combat (since they don't seem the fighting type)? "They supplement their diet smoked meat and vegetables." I think a "with" is missing here. Also, where do they find smoked meat? It's not that common either on the planes of Wood or Fire.
This may require me going over them again when I'm more focused. Regarding the meat, I'd assume that there are beasts that can be hunted and eaten on both sides.
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Originally Posted by
Metastachydium
Get better, you fiend!
Thank you, thank you. I do feel a bit better, though that cough is annoying.
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Originally Posted by
Beni-Kujaku
Thank you for that, it's surprising that we don't have a leafy seadragon monster in the first place.
... Why?
... How?
Would you believe me that I came up with a great story about that, but after I sat down to actually design the creature, I'd already forgotten it? :smallredface:
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Normalization remarks : Sea Serpents generally have their swim speed increased by increments of 20ft rather than 10ft,
That's intentional. Leafy appendages make good camouflage, but lousy streamlineshape.
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and have all their SLAs on even-numbered age categories.
Switched a few around.
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CR 2/3/5/7/9/11/12/14/16/17/19/21 ?
Thanks!
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The fact that the Strength score increases by 4 at the age categories immediately following a size increase and not during the during increase triggers me slightly.
Huh. Didn't notice that... let's change it a bit.
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Does it have hands? Generally creatures with no hands make pretty bad PCs. Still, +4 seems good if slightly high even for WotC, and I'd say CR 8.
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Fun to have an evil creature made of Positive Energy, and the biblical references everywhere are very much appreciated. Love it all. I'd have gone even further and made it not that physically strong (since its physical attacks are lackluster anyway), but increasing its Cha even more to go with the "Father of Lies" aesthetic. Alternatively, lean into the serpent thing and give it Improved Grab on its bite, maybe with a Suggestion ability on grappled foe to emulate it wrapping around its prey and whispering in their ear. It already has fire and electricity resistance 10, why not go with acid and cold immunity to finish up the angel-like energy resistances?
I went with fire and electricity because of the energy types, these two feel very "positive" or "energetic" to me, while acid and cold are more "negative" or "decaying" (and sonic is neither nor). See also the Conqueror Worm being immune to acid and resistent to cold, but not to fire and electricity. Cha boost is a good idea, as is the whisper ability (I was looking for a way to bring in the Forked Tongue feat anyway; I wasn't sure if it would work with Apple of Discord).
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"Any creature except other mala mala". So, this particular malum malum is affected by its own Apple of Discord, as written ^^
Why not add something like "and is compelled to use it at any occasion if applicable, such as donning an armor, striking with a weapon, eating affected foods and using affected magic item's special properties"? I feel like it would add even more to the ability.
Didn't think of it. The Apple of Discord is wanted for itself, it is usually not used. Still something to think about.
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More of a compulsion, isn't it?
Is it? I find it more interesting as a charm. It's in a certain way like Charm Person. The base assumption of your thought is changed ("I like that person", "I want that thing"), but how you react to it is still you. Not only does that fit to the rider that codes of conduct and such aren't broken in the pursuit of the thing, I like the thought that people being good and less greedy stymies the malum malum.
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How long does the fruit stay enchanted? One day? More? It would be fun to have the malum malum walk around with three apples of wisdom, one for itself to show it's harmless, one for Eve and one for Adam.
I think I imagined them being permanent, but that's probably too much. Three does fit, so I'll add a rider.
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Gosh darnit, how are we even supposed to rate a CR 60 dumb stupid thing? Still, 60 seems a bit too much. Summoning two CR 33 monsters to help is good, but not that impressive at such immensely overpowered heights. I'd say CR 48-50 is already plenty (remember the Phaethon is only CR 34. Maybe it would be CR 60 by the Hecatoncheires' standard, but the Hecatoncheires is already over-CRed, and at least they have half a brain).
Wanted it to have a higher CR than any other abomination. So yes, that's the Hecatoncheires' standard. *shrug*
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That definitely should have been an Elder Evil, it having signs of apocalypse would not be out of place.
If you can gate it to the Material, you can have it bring Signs.
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Funny, a gnome that succeeds on this roll can move more than their speed just moving out of the way.
I'm imagening gnomes flying around like bowling pins.
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This is a fantastic ability. Everything in there is great. Adding something that actually suppresses the effect if they reach 0 CL as by an antimagic zone would make it slightly more encompassing.
Didn't think it was needed. I usually assume that CL 0 or lower means it stops working. (Not even suppressed, but simply gone.)
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As written, only works on Gargantuan or smaller creatures. You should specify it works on Colossal creatures.
Does it? The text says:
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To use this ability, the Conqueror Worm must hit a creature with a bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can swallow the opponent whole.
Should affect all creatures, shouldn't it?
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How long do they stay around? Are they controlled? Because honestly, them being uncontrolled but friendly would be much better than them being controlled by a creature with Int 3.
Creatures summoned by abominations stay 1 hour and are usually totally controlled. Still, good point. I'll add that (and double the number of summoned creatures just for fun).