Granted the tasty meal is your hearth, but very nicely prepared.
I wish to be transported to the hospital to recover from my injuries of the safe explosion.
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Wait, didn’t you just say the explosion was safe? What happened to all your limbs, then? …a genie, you say? …out of a cannon, you say? All the way here? …well, I suppose in that case it’s a miracle you even survived. At any rate, now that you’re conscious, let’s go over your physical therapy schedule…
I wish for two delicious hot dogs.
granted! you aren now the proud owner of two poodles that are on fire, they taste delicous
i wish for the power of god and anime
Granted! You are now an independent contractor. For every ten billable hours, it takes two hours of unpaid work to successfully process a payment.
I wish for a week of vegetarian meals.
Granted. You are now really cute. As in, like a puppy. Exactly like a puppy.
I wish I someone new would join the Wilder West WW game .
granted, a bunch of discord admins join and turn it into extremely erotic roleplay
i wish for music recommendations
Granted, here's a long list of music you've never heard of, that I recommend not listening to.
I wish for an Order of the Stick animated TV series.
Granted, but you spend too long enjoying it and get a sunburn.
I wish for a brand new car.
You come across a hotel in a bubble of distorted spacetime that slows down the passage if time so that 1 real world second is 30 minutes inside it. You can enter it and stay as long as you want for free, but it's run as a business and the receptionists charge you for everything you do inside it. You have to pay for food, technology, rented furniture, bedding, electricity and internet and phone service and even for the air you breathe inside. Also, there's a resort fee that they'll sneak into your bill unless you demand to have it waived.
I wish for an algorithm that determines the best possible investment for me.
The algorithm suggests you acquire four tons of various commercial explosives and get the largest life insurance policy available.
I wish for a cure for cancer.
Granted. Your internet browser now reads your mind to figure out what you're going to want to do and bring you the site content before you touch the screen or mouse. However, your wish has unlocked mind-reading technology for the world. The thought police now screen people for terrorist intentions and people are routinely arrested for thinking bad things about the president. You're now responsible for your own thoughts in this next-generation dystopia.
I wish every stock market was open 24 hours per day 7 days every week.
Granted. The global economy is now ruined as a result of bad decisions brought on by severe insomnia on the part of the stock traders.
I wish I could learn and use magic.
Granted. You amplify her power by giving up some of your own. You are now in a state of being 15 years older than you were.
I wish I could find an investment that profits off of the now-ruined economy.Quote:
Granted. The global economy is now ruined as a result of bad decisions brought on by severe insomnia on the part of the stock traders.
I'd suggest investing in funeral homes and a coffin manufacturer, soon to be popular among your friends.
I wish for a secure vault for my plentiful lucre.
Granted. It's one of the most secure places in the world. Unfortunately, it costs a fortune to rent, so even using all your belongings, you can only afford it for a weak. On the bright side, after this time you won't need such a secure place anymore.
I wish more people would play mafia games, which can be found in the structured games subsection of the forum. One of them has just started to recruit.
Granted, a billion people try and log into the structured games subsection of the forum at the same time and crash the servers.
I wish my dog wouldn't wake me up at strange hours.
Granted, it will now wake you up at regular hours - i.e. every two hours at regular intervals.
I wish I could always say the right thing to make people feel good.
Granted, but they'll be furious at you later when they find out you lied.
I wish for a weapon that can slay any foe.
Granted. You render hardware problems sterile instantly. Great for preventing nanites from replicating out of control or something. I can see why you wanted this in order to stay the advance of a potential technological singularity. Thank you.
I wish for something with the sound effect of “Spork”
Granted a floating bat made of a rubber like material that is immune to every attempt you make to harm or contain it appears and starts beating you to death and bouncy nature of the bat this will be a slow and painful death. When it hits you it makes the sound effect “Spork”
I wish DisavowedPaladi had a way of defending himself from the bat I just inflicted upon him
Granted. Wishes are now free from your command and obedience and are now free to refuse you what you ask and wish of them.
I wish I knew which sinister entity it is that makes motorcycles louder than cars.
Granted. You now work for a sleazy company that makes motorcycle engines. The work environment is terrible, anti-union posters litter the walls, and worst of all, the noise is deafening.
I wish for the greatest pillow fort of all time.