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What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I've heard discussions about applying Real Life Physics to D&D, but let's examine the flip side of the coin. What if you woke up one morning and realized that instead of the normal laws of reality, RAW was the guiding principle of the universe? (Would catgirls spontaneously reanimate? :smallwink:)
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Cats would be kill on sight instead of pets.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'd trade in my RHD for a class level in a heartbeat.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
All scientist would suddenly be as strong as soldiers. Inversely, soldiers would be as skilled as those who focused in their profession.
As people get older, they get smarter, wiser, and more keen of eye and ear. Basically, the degeneration of the brain is reversed.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Nobody would take a bath unless they were already dying.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
A utopia of no more alignment debates...Also, people would really respect religion. A lot.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
IthroZada
Cats would be kill on sight instead of pets.
That or everyone would have ranks in Handle Animal. All Ambulances, (Para)Medics, etc. would carry a drowning bucket in order to bring people to 0 HP regardless of their current state. All conversations would take less than 6 seconds. Instantaneous travel would be viable, given sufficient Horses and riding ability. Instantaneous communication would be viable, given sufficient commoners. Also, since falling is a free action, acceleration due to gravity would be brutal.
Then we come to the question of "Does Magic exist?" If it does, then we've got even more fun stuff - gems like "Conservation of Mass/Energy? What's that?!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by
dextercorvia
I'd trade in my RHD for a class level in a heartbeat.
You and me both.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'd never sleep again :smallbiggrin: As long as I'm not walking anywhere I won't get tired.
I'd also do my utmost to get PAO'ed into a Warforged.
@Drowning: What everyone forgets about "drowning to heal" is that once you start the process, nothing can stop it. Yeah you'll go to 0 hp in the first round, but the following round you go to negatives and the third you're dead. RAW, this happens no matter what is done to aid the victim.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Psyren
I'd also do my utmost to get PAO'ed into a Warforged.
I have not compiled a comprehensive "List of Races Into Which I Want to be Polymorphed," but I imagine I, too, would want to become a warforged at some point in time for a significantly long amount of time.
World hunger will be a lesser issue. I mean, don't get me wrong, even with the whole Create Food and Heroes Feast and whatnot, we'll still have some trouble getting food to where it needs to be until we set up the massive inter-commoner-railgun-net, but that's okay because you no longer die from hunger, you just get knocked unconscious.
...
:smalleek: "Decorating your prom with streamers" will take on an entirely different meaning.
Forget just about everything you know about economics.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'm not 100% sure I'd want to step foot near any place with potential strife if clerics, druids, sorcerers, or heck, pretty much any class are running around.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Serial killers would quickly become unstoppable.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Serial killers who level up to eventually do Locate City Bombs :smalleek:
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Romance would be so much easier. "Hey, wanna go out for coffee sometime?" -rolls Diplomacy check- "Sure, that sounds like fun, Miss Whoeveryouare!"
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
"In other news, yet another unemployed musician has been sighted entering the White House. He has been declared the Chief of Staff earlier this afternoon. The president has also declared the man to be officially 'awesome'."
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I would realize how much my build sucks.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I wpuld immeadiately start taking levels in Wizard. :smallbiggrin:
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'd go with Psion. Bat poop is hard to find in this town, and the expensive components are even worse.
Plus, it's more fun to have powers if nobody knows you have them; just ask Xavier ^ ^
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Imagine how zoos would look. People would keep trying to climb into the tiger cage, not because they were drunk but because they wanted to level. Other people would just be looking at everything to wildshape into it later. Wizards would be constantly taking the bat-poop. There would have to be magic everywhere to stop people from mind controlling the animals and making their own army.
...I just imagined the idea of an evil druid with an army of dolphins. That's not good.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Meh, bat poop is overrated. That's what spell component pouches are for. Speaking of which...........:smallbiggrin:
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I would hope so. People are stealing metal already at pretty bad rates, no need to encourage them more because they get paid every time someone wants to do a sending.
Oh dear god, your mother using sending on you constantly to ask if you've given her grandchildren yet.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'd imagine that, unless you want to be stuck without spellcasting until you actually get the items, which for higher levels would be almost impossible I'd imagine unless you felt like spending hours, days, or even weeks finding the right item, people would take eschew materials. Would cost a feat, which would suck, but not having to handle all that random crap would save a lot of time.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Perpetual motion machines are just a Decanter of Endless Water away.
taking wizard levels? pfff, Three words for you (well actually one repeated) Pazuzu, Pazuzu, Pazuzu.
Hey, you said if RL worked by RAW
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Horses. Hundreds of horses. Allllll in a row.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
HappyBlanket
Horses. Hundreds of horses. Allllll in a row.
Horse railgun? Wouldn't that kill you?
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
We would rapidly achieve Singularity. Slavery would have probably involved Elementals. Wars would cross planes and there would probably be colonies and refugees on every other plane.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Pi equaling 4 would end in a whole crapload of mathematical, physical and other consequences.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
3.5 would be hailed as the most realistic system ever, WoTC would recieve nobel prizes for such a perfect game. Running businesses would be impossible, and economics just wouldn't work. I would retrain one of my feats to Wedded to History.
EDIT: Not to mention every single Science being F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition. Life wouldn't even resemble what we know and love, Evolution would have resulted in some horrific mess of inherited templates like the Emerald Legion or something...
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
The first person to take the "Self Aware Player Character" PRC (from the 3rd party book Bride of the Portable Hole) would destroy the world by effectively dividing by zero.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Psyren
Horse railgun? Wouldn't that kill you?
Oh. Good point. Ahem: Bluff/Diplomacy check. Then horses. Hundreds of horses. Allllll in a row.
No. No it wouldn't kill me.
Why would it?
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Honest Tiefling
"In other news, yet another unemployed musician has been sighted entering the White House. He has been declared the Chief of Staff earlier this afternoon. The president has also declared the man to be officially 'awesome'."
I lol'd. Hard.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Slipperychicken
...Evolution would have resulted in some horrific mess of inherited templates like the Emerald Legion or something...
Platypuses would be the result of wizards. They would also look quite normal next to all of the owlbears, bunnywolves, penguinlions, and ducksnakes and such.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'll trade all of my levels to Telepath and invest heavily into Profession (rules lawyer).
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Charm Person would be... well... *ahem*
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Honest Tiefling
Platypuses would be the result of wizards. They would also look quite normal next to all of the owlbears, bunnywolves, penguinlions, and ducksnakes and such.
Oh, yeah: The "Australian" template would be +3 LA. :smallbiggrin:
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I think the Australians might be dead, considering what mother nature throws at them without access to magic. It would be an epic level dungeon.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Well, I'd take Wedded to History. (what books that in again?)
And I'd also be a Artificer/Wizard into my homebrew prestige class the Artytheurge.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Psyren
@Drowning: What everyone forgets about "drowning to heal" is that once you start the process, nothing can stop it. Yeah you'll go to 0 hp in the first round, but the following round you go to negatives and the third you're dead. RAW, this happens no matter what is done to aid the victim.
I'm told Stormwrack allows you to make a Heal check to stop drowning, as well:
"It's Wet Outside lets someone make a heal check to stop drowning."
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Honest Tiefling
I think the Australians might be dead, considering what mother nature throws at them without access to magic. It would be an epic level dungeon.
So true.
Also, by now someone would have used the Locate City Wightocalyspse somewhere.
My money's on LA.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Honest Tiefling
I think the Australians might be dead, considering what mother nature throws at them without access to magic. It would be an epic level dungeon.
Obviously not; first you have the most likely epic Aboriginals, then you have the fact that Australia was likely the prison for all the epic criminals that couldn't be contained anywhere else. Once you reach epic Australia is the only place to level grind if you're feeling suicidal.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Imagine some of the more terrifying spells:
Summon Monster/ Animal (dinosaurs)
Gate
Anything from BoVD....
Everyone run, its a stampede of Celestial Bison!
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
hamishspence
I'm told Stormwrack allows you to make a Heal check to stop drowning, as well:
"It's Wet Outside lets someone make a heal check to stop drowning."
I just looked through Stormwrack and I can't find this. It only references the DMG entry on Drowning.
The SRD says you can use First Aid to stabilize someone at negative HP with a Heal check, so maybe that would work... but a literal reading would point out that you stabilize the character on round 2 and they still drown on round 3.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Well, I don't think I would be able to get out of bed half the time. I sleep in a lofted bed and wouldn't have put very many "ranks" into climb. Though I think last time I checked the climb DCs they're ridiculously easier than what they would be in real life. On the bright side, practically anybody could be a parkour master with climb DCs that low.
And if anybody has seen one or two of my other posts, of course I have to say this. I would be able to lift around twice what I currently can, and I would be able to jump about a quarter what I currently can. (Those two mechanics are so screwy. Apparently game designers are the indoorsy type.)
Also, I think people would die much more easily with the ridiculous abstraction that is HP. A few caltrops can kill a commoner, or (this estimate is based on carrying capacities, so it's a little silly, like I said before) someone with my strength could kill a commoner by punching them, without even taking Imp. UaS. (Because how many commoners are actually going to take that AoO? Seriously.)
And yeah...I think my overall common sense might decrease if the DM considered high Int, low Wis to still not be able to learn from past mistakes. We were sizing me up to give a newish player an idea of what the abilities equate to in real life, and they assigned me a Wis of 4.
But since RAW is kind of vague like all the time, who's going to adjudicate? Is there a DM? How do I brush my hair in the morning? Why do my glasses now count as a 5500 gp magic item? (Actually, probably more than a +5 to spot. I'm pretty bloody blind. But where's there a mechanic for eyesight that poor? I've only seen traits with +/- 1 to spot, I think, and "nearsighted" compensates with +1 search...which I'm too blind to even have. So do my eyes just get better so I only have a -1 spot/+1 search? Sweet deal.)
And yeah, if not for the clause about nat 1s not being an auto-fail for skill checks, doing anything would suck. A 5% chance of complete failure? That's a big chance.
(Though with the existing real-life "rules", "rolling a 1" still causes failure on plenty of skill checks it shouldn't by RAW based on the person's "ranks" in the skill; for example, I've tripped while jumping plenty of times when even with a roll of 1 I would have been able to make the jump, based on my typical jumping capability being around +22. Maybe that counts as failing a balance check. Hard to say. Who's the DM for Real Life?)
So when do I get to buy a periapt of wisdom and start taking levels of druid? I think that would be a better class choice than anything I can practice IRL, considering that's pretty much limited to "fighter"/"warrior", "expert", "aristocrat", "commoner", and maybe "barbarian", "rogue", or a few other nonmagical classes.
Wow, this got long.
Edit: Oh yeah, first I need a level of cleric or maybe a few paladin levels so I can turn undead. I really need to find out who the DM for Real Life would be so I can ask to be gestalt and take both paladin and druid simultaneously. I hate undead. Maybe I would be a radiant servant of Pelor instead.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
If real life worked by RAW, we could assume that there would be a DM to arbitrate those rules. In such a scenario, "Rules Lawyers" would operate much more like the Agents from The Matrix, making sure those filthy powergamers don't keep winning the Olympics using exploits/loopholes in the wording.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I would quit Nursing school and trade my RHD for a level of Cleric
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Honest Tiefling
"In other news, yet another unemployed musician has been sighted entering the White House. He has been declared the Chief of Staff earlier this afternoon. The president has also declared the man to be officially 'awesome'."
That's brilliant. Mind if I sig that?
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Also, any man could literally kill himself while shaving if they rolled a 1.
A burly strong as hell general-type man wouldn't necessarily be more intimidating than street musicians who have high Cha and Intimidate.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
You wouldn't be able to see the sun, due to the distance penalty to spot checks.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Whammydill
You wouldn't be able to see the sun, due to the distance penalty to spot checks.
Yeah, but it's REALLY, REALLY big. That's plus a gazillion for its size.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
True, but the size modifier in the SRD caps out at Colossal I think? -1 per 10 feet, times 93 (or so) million miles. That's a -491,040,000,000 to the spot check!!!
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Whammydill
True, but the size modifier in the SRD caps out at Colossal I think? -1 per 10 feet, times 93 (or so) million miles. That's a -491,040,000,000 to the spot check!!!
Oh yeah. They do do it that way, don't they. How can they possibly think that something could be even harder to miss the bigger it gets? Because I know that I've missed houses before, but those mountains are just as easy to hide as houses, right?
You win, by RAW.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I'd be a multiclassed expert/monk, with Weapon Proficiency: Rifles, and most of my skill ranks in Knowledge:Random Stuff. And as such would be hideously gimped rather than impressively skilled.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
Basically the planet would be renamed D'ehmfeeaht, instead of Earth
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Dvandemon
Obviously not; first you have the most likely epic Aboriginals, then you have the fact that Australia was likely the prison for all the epic criminals that couldn't be contained anywhere else. Once you reach epic Australia is the only place to level grind if you're feeling suicidal.
Come to think of it, the Aborigenees would have the class features of a barbarian of their HD, seeing as they are a different race.
Actually come to think it, it wouldn't be racist not liking the welsh anymore, seeing as all the countries will be different races.
We might all share the same subtype but that doesn't mean we all have bonus feats and skill points. (That would be reserved for the british.)
So the french would probably be Elves/Halflings. (With a penalty to AC against Gnomes.)
The Australians would be like Human's only a penalty of diplomacy with non Australians.
The Americans would be Dwarves.
The german's would be Gnomes.
The Japenese therefore must be Goblins because their too short to be Giant's and have had major wars with America.
I have just started the statting out of the Human race.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Hazzardevil
Come to think of it, the Aborigenees would have the class features of a barbarian of their HD, seeing as they are a different race.
Actually come to think it, it wouldn't be racist not liking the welsh anymore, seeing as all the countries will be different races.
We might all share the same subtype but that doesn't mean we all have bonus feats and skill points. (That would be reserved for the british.)
So the french would probably be Elves/Halflings. (With a penalty to AC against Gnomes.)
The Australians would be like Human's only a penalty of diplomacy with non Australians.
The Americans would be Dwarves.
The german's would be Gnomes.
The Japenese therefore must be Goblins because their too short to be Giant's and have had major wars with America.
I have just started the statting out of the Human race.
So... would the Spanish be Halflings then?
EDIT: And the Russians Half-orcs?
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
An average sword would cost $7,200.00.
Someone would try the "ladder to 10' staves" trick, only to find out that aluminum ladders make poor staves, and there isn't much of a market for 10' poles.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Eric Tolle
An average sword would cost $7,200.00.
Someone would try the "ladder to 10' staves" trick, only to find out that aluminum ladders make poor staves, and there isn't much of a market for 10' poles.
What is this "market" you speak of? Everything has a fixed price, regardless of ease of manufacture or whether anyone's buying it.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Whammydill
You wouldn't be able to see the sun, due to the distance penalty to spot checks.
Ah, but that penalty is only used for determining the distance at which an encounter begins. Unless you're trying to engage the sun in combat or otherwise have an "encounter" with it, this isn't a problem.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
I would put on a blindfold and throw myself at the ground repeatedly until I failed my 50% miss chance for blindness and gained the ability of Dentian flight.
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Re: What if Real Life worked by RAW?
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Originally Posted by
Larpus
Also, any man could literally kill himself while shaving if they rolled a 1.
A burly strong as hell general-type man wouldn't necessarily be more intimidating than street musicians who have high Cha and Intimidate.
Fumbles (aside from automatic misses [and nothing more] on attacks) aren't RAW.