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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I cannot be Bard with 1 level of Paladin of Freedom just so I can seduce every BBEG of opposite gender and then use Smite Evil on my Secret Hyper Weapon.
** BBEG of the same gender isn't allowed either.
* Cannot be Chaotic Good and spend entire game trying to break and corrupt every single Lawful character I stumble upon and claiming I just want them to be themselves.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to convince the fighter that his new sword is talking to him.
** Not allowed to use Ghost Sound to convince the cleric that his god is speaking to him.
*** May not convince said cleric that he must make an ark and collect 2 of each animal.
**** Not allowed to use Ghost Sound.
* Not allowed to combine a Decanter of Endless Water and a guitar to make a guitar that gently weeps.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- My INT 40+ epic wizard may not Genesis a demiplane with flowing time, discover all of modern physics, and return to the Prime Material with a working hydrogen bomb one round later.
- I may not name my wizard Mark and demand to be addressed as Arcane Mark.
- Similarly, I cannot play a dwarf raised by humans and named Rodney, all for the sake of one day taking levels in dwarven defender and earning the nickname Immovable Rod.
- I may not polymorph myself into a copy of my familiar while polymorphing my familiar into myself, on the off chance that someone gets close enough to try to assassinate me.
- In the same vein, my familiar will get a veto on all suicidal familiar-abuse plans.
- I may not try to invent spells like Contact Other Game (focus: a rectangle of white marble with an apple carved into it) to consult with my munchkin buddies.
- I may not use other posts in this topic for inspiration.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*The internet is not a plain of existence
**That doesn't mean I can create it.
***Facebook is not the most powerful of all the warring social networks
****Apparently myspace can be a completely deserted nation.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Just because my character spent all his skill points on Sing, Craft (Women's Clothing), and Profession (Lumberjack) does not mean he'll be OK.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- Knowledge (plot spoilers) is never a class skill.
- It also cannot be used untrained.
- I may not Awaken a cannabis plant.
- I may not play an Awakened cannabis plant.
- If I violate the previous rules, the character does not do INT damage to everything nearby when struck with a fire attack.
- I may not use metamagic cheese to Intensify the Awaken spell and produce a 36 INT kitten.
- I may not crush civilization beneath the mechanized paws of a thousand genius cats.
- I may no longer even consider casting Awaken.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not name my characters by sticking two random words together
**I am to burn the character sheet of Trash Boat the monk
***And Bottle Gum the bard
****The Urge can only be a villains name
*****I can only take names given off the example list in the players manual.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dire Panda
- I may not use metamagic cheese to Intensify the Awaken spell and produce a 36 INT kitten.
- I may not crush civilization beneath the mechanized paws of a thousand genius cats.
- I may no longer even consider casting Awaken.
- The above rules also apply in regards to Awakened squirrels.
- If the previous rule may only be broken by a halfling Druid, and then only if said halfling carries a THICK Scottish accent.
- I may not abuse the Awaken spell and liberal use of the leadership feat to produce 8 cohorts and over 300 followers of Awakened squirrels, flying squirrels, giant squirrels, and giant dire squirrels.
- making every single squirrel in the above army Druids, and then having them all cast Summon Nature's Ally and/or Summon Swarm at once will cause your DM's brain to hemmorhage.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*The verbal component of eldricht blast is not "Hadouken!"
**Nor is it "Sonic Boom"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My monk's battle cry is not "Round One: Fight!"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
I totally did this first time I even used the forum dice roller. :smallbiggrin:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
** If my orc fighter 2 character doesn't have at least a +10 attack with his weapon, he's doing it wrong.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*It is assumed that a wizard actually knows how magic works.
**If for some reason your wizard has absolutely no clue, I'm going to give your spells ransom effects until you invest at least one skill point in spellcraft and/or knowledge arcana.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
*My monk's battle cry is not "Round One: Fight!"
*Neither is it "Heaven Or Hell?! Lets Go!"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- The "Rod of Wonder" is a magic item, not a nickname for my character's anatomy.
- Should I violate the previous rule, pointing it at a foe and speaking the 'command word' gives them an immediate sunder attempt.
- Make Whole doesn't work that way.
- I may not be a Eunuch Warlock with the worst backstory ever.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dire Panda
- The "Rod of Wonder" is a magic item, not a nickname for my character's anatomy.
- Should I violate the previous rule, pointing it at a foe and speaking the 'command word' gives them an immediate sunder attempt.
- Make Whole doesn't work that way.
- I may not be a Eunuch Warlock with the worst backstory ever.
*nor am I a Lord of Rodly Might
**No, a Rod of Lordly Might does not work like viagra
***I am to warn my next DM that I can't play male characters
****A Rod of Wonder/Rod of Lordly Might are not to be used as strap-ons (acutally tested this)
*****I am to inform the DM that I am to play genderless characters...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am allowed to play NPC classes, but I may not play a mob of them as a level adjustment.
**A mob of level 12 aristocrats cannot crush a gelatinous cube to death.
*My bard is to never perform standup.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
- I may not attempt to unionize another PC's followers.
- The same goes for the BBEG's orc legions.
- Skeletons are right out.
- Looting the king's castle is not redistributing wealth.
- I must be prepared for the party cleric to hit me if I go around telling NPCs that religion is the opiate of the masses.
- My character may no longer be a communist.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No the fact that we all have a set wealth level based on how many wombats we've killed doesn't count.
*No the fact that we can't sell anything at market price and making it ourselves is simply more useful doesn't count either.
*No the fact that most monsters no matter how powerful also have set parameters for wealth doesn't count either.
*I must stop drawing parallels between dnd and communism.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*We are allowed to play awakened animals, but I may not be an awakened rabbit
**Or Panda
***Or crab
****Now I HAVE to play as an awakened fish.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dire Panda
- I must be prepared for the party cleric to hit me if I go around telling NPCs that religion is the opiate of the masses.
*Cannot answer any quote from anyone's holy book with anything involving words "3:16".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*We are allowed to play awakened animals, but I may not be an awakened rabbit
**Or Panda
***Or crab
****Now I HAVE to play as an awakened fish.
Claus?
* I may not play as an awakened fish with profession(psychotherapist)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Socratov
Claus?
* I may not play as an awakened fish with profession(psychotherapist)
* awakened frog bards may not choose perform (dance) as their performance art. Neither perform (sing).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
**That's it. From now on, all living things that are targets of an awaken spell are now extinct due to a ecological catastrophe caused by an awakened mouse.
Congratulations. You've brought untold suffering down upon worlds that don't even exist yet! *edits nature out of the next four campaigns*
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Just because we have a staff of raise dead doesn't mean we need to use it.
**I am not to hold the staff of raise dead until the DM forgets about it.
***If I use said staff to raise a plot important death, it is turned into a staff of fireball.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
*Neither is it "Heaven Or Hell?! Lets Go!"
** Yelling "Rebel One, Action!" is not an appropriate Join Battle stunt.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
newBlazingAngel
*My half orc may not have a melee bonus of +7 at level two.
I totally did this first time I even used the forum dice roller. :smallbiggrin:
Your DM is under the impression that this is something to be afraid of?
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
planswalker
* awakened frog bards may not choose perform (dance) as their performance art. Neither perform (sing).
** Perform (kiss) is likewise prohibited.
All women enjoy the kiss of prince Navine.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*pointing out the absurdity of ranger's favored enemy bonuses applying to dracotaurs, satyrs, and gargoyles as the same category yet somehow a kobold, elf, and dwarf are too different to be same category will not get all humanoids approved as a single category.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
In PTTA
* I may not create a SAD character that gains damage, health and DR from one stat, and pump only this stat.
** Especially if it is not a Psychic.
** Gaining more HP per level than a SAD CON class will get me far tougher encounters than everyone else.
*** If I do this, I may not complain about always having to tank everything for all the other squishy party members.
** I may not create a build like this and then say that I am a pacifist.