Bird begins life of crime

They say criminals always start out small... petty theft, robbery, assault. Later in life, they move on to bigger and better things such as grand larceny and auto theft.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/s...st/6907994.stm

This bird is a bad apple. Sure, he's only taking crisps (aka CHIPS), but its the manner that he does it. He clearly has no regard for law and order, much less authority. This apple is rotten to the core. He has already perfected his MO, waiting until the coast is clear to make a swipe. Will he stop at nothing to feed his addiction? He must be stopped, before he convinces other fowls to make the same life-choices he has.

http://img251.imageshack.us/img251/6...llcrispgo7.jpg

It was only a matter of time before humanity's selfish nature was passed down to the lowly seagulls. This petty theft only marks the beginnings of what may become a widespread siege on our chips. Yes, before long, seagulls all over will be assailing are stores, and robbing us of everything we hold dear. Now is the time to act! I believe President Bush has already set up a campaign for what he calls the "War on Seagulls."

Best. Seagull. Ever.

If I were a Rogue Seagull I'd steal something better than Doritos.

Even looks like a criminal. Sloping forehead, shifty eyes. I don't trust seagulls as far as I can throw them, ever since one of them crapped on my friend as we were walking down the street. No respect.

The seagulls AIM for ya man, we need to kill em all.. but keep this one alive, he is AWESOME.

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Originally Posted by s.donahue

Even looks like a criminal. Sloping forehead, shifty eyes. I don't trust seagulls as far as I can throw them, ever since one of them crapped on my friend as we were walking down the street. No respect.

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I very much agree. The health of our society demands that we immediately arrest and incarcerate this transgressor. If we don't immediately put a stop to this sort of behavior among gulls, the damn things will think they have a right to do whatever they please. They'll be demanding to vote next...

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Originally Posted by SurlySeraph

They'll be demanding to vote next...

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Equal rights for avians! *Grabs sign and begins marching back and forth, occasionally yelling out some pro-bird slogan*

I loved how in the video he sneaks through the door and runs like heck once he grabs the Doritos.

This reminds me of a story I heard about birds who stole several thousand dollars in quarters from a car wash.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/carwash.asp

Just another case of an... Eagle on the lamb! (Cookie for refrence.)

If you all have watched "Birds" you would starts killing them right now

I'm already at war with the local avian community. They have this habit of pooping all over my car when I leave it parked. :smallmad:

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Originally Posted by Moon_Called

Just another case of an... Eagle on the lamb! (Cookie for refrence.)

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I thought a similar Colbert reference when I first saw the title of the thread.

Very funny! I watched the video as well. Go, Sam, go!

Maybe the shop owner needs to swich alkaselzer for the chips in the bag. There would be no problems with the bird after that

Hehe that's pretty funny! But it prooves what I've been saying all along: Seagulls are evil I tell you! EVIL!

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Originally Posted by Sigbru

If you all have watched "Birds" you would starts killing them right now

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'Watched?' How about 'read?'

So let me get this straight. We know where this bird is. We know where he goes to steal. We have witnesses and enforcers about. And we haven't arrested it? Well that's just sloth! :smallmad:

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Originally Posted by Arameus

'Watched?' How about 'read?'

So let me get this straight. We know where this bird is. We know where he goes to steal. We have witnesses and enforcers about. And we haven't arrested it? Well that's just sloth! :smallmad:

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tell me about it, if someone becomes a celebrity they immediately have immunity from the law, and the sad part is that all the birds will act accordingly to.

And about the war against the birds? i claim first kill!, a bird hit my windshield yesterday on the highway and got stuck under my windshield wiper...

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Originally Posted by onasuma

Best. Seagull. Ever.

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seconded!

That's hilarious.

So, lemme get this straight. We have racial and gender equality down to a science, but we get these bizarre speciesist mentality when it comes to birds? Ridonkulous! We need to send that little feller up the air current.

^ Speciesist as in how these people are refusing to prosecute the stupid gull? Or are you accusing us of being speciesist? Eh, in any case that bird needs to be sent to San Quentin.

BIRD BEGINS LIFE OF CRIME!

Local authoroties are unable to catch birds thanks to their inability to sprout wings and fly!This bird recently broke out of a prison, and is now robbing supermarkets of their cheesy treats.Horrible!Local store owner comments:
"He is to be shot and nailed to a cross at once!No one steals
our doritos without suffering!The BIRD SHALL PAY!No mercy!"

This bird is more badass than Belkar.

...
Robin!

I'm sorry.

1. the bird should be savagely beaten by a panda with a bag of kittens. PETA be... smashed by a panda with a bag of kittens?
2. all pun makers see the second spoiler in my sig
3. this shows just how EVIL this bird is, and really, i hate to seem speciesist but how evil ALL birds are, no wonder our pets hunt them... they are EVIL