Haha pretty much. Luck favored me pretty well with that character. Normally when I'm a PC I'm consistently rolling ones. That wasn't even the only insane thing he pulled, though. He was a tank/crit build with heavy on the cavalier side, going with a heavy spiked bashing shield and a kukri. Even when he was 2 levels behind (a death and a couple missed sessions) he carried the rest of the party in combat (and often in social situations, he was an arrogant braggart of a character and had the CHA to pull it off)
JackOfAllBuilds: Hahaha yes, I like it. I'll have to use that meme when the subject of Jason Swift next comes up.
Eh, I'll post a few of his other stories that I can remember. None of them are quiiite as awesome as the cliff, but they still show what he was about.
Caves of Darkness:
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These caves were actually pretty well lit... for everyone else. Very soon after entering these caves, Jason got hit by a blindless spell, and our group had no cleric to fix that with. This only served to piss Jason off, and yelled at the group's other fighter where the bastard was. Upon getting the cleric's general location, Jason charged until he bumped into the guy and proceeded to eviscerate him while blind and having no feats for it.
Unfortunately, town was a week away. And Jason Swift doesn't retreat when there are people watching. So, while the rest of the party was getting ready to head back to town, Jason swift proceeded to call them all ******* - while facing the wrong direction - and got them to continue through the dungeon. The whole time, he had the other fighter shout directions at him, and he survived the whole dungeon while still doing a fair amount of the tanking/killing.
The (temporary) death of Jason Swift
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It was actually a pretty un-badass way to die. I forget what dungeon we were all in, but the mini-boss was a big bruiser type - some kind of ogre, I think - who was rocking a greataxe. Round one, Jason Swift shouts some obscenities, tanting the ogre, and the ogre responded appropriately - with a critical max damage on a charge. Jason Swift was still up though, if barely - and continued to tank for another couple rounds before being killed. The party loved their ******* womanizer of a tank so much though that they got him raised right away.
The next item Jason bought was the determination enchantment on his armor - which 1/day had a contingent breath of life to be cast on the wearer. After getting the armor, he got a LOT of use out of it - he died once almost every adventuring day, and every time kept getting back up for more.
Ice Wyrm on the cliffside
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While climbing a snowy cliff, the party got attacked by an ice wyrm of some kind that shot out from the rock. Everyone was having a hard time hitting it, the casters couldn't get past its spell resistance, and Jason's buddy was pretty hurt. After a round that seemed to last forever, my turn finally came around. After a moment's pause - and the DM seemed to know I was about to do something reckless, I said "I rage, challenge, and jump inside the wyrm."
The wyrm only lasted for one round after that.
The fighter ruse... was a DISTACTION
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We were in the city of the BBEG, about to bust into his stronghold. Feeling pretty cocky, we bust right in there, but soon find things are going to **** once the majority of the stronghold was trying to kill us. I guess they didn't like us busting in or something. Anyway, things are going to **** and the rest of the party starts to run, but Jason Swift has a better idea. He runs a different way, taunting everything he can see to try to get it to chase after him. The party sees what hes doing, and move further into the stronghold to hide and reposition. For some reason the assassin went with Jason, so they started tag-teaming for a bit. They locked themselves in a supply room, and just before the enemies busted the door open, they both used their capes of the mountebank to get the hell out of dodge, giving the rest of the group time to heal and set themselves up.
The Chair (A.K.A. "I SIT IN IT!")
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I had been particularly caffienated this day, and was feeling hyper. Which meant that Jason was even more reckless. We were going through a dungeon and come up to this room, and the first thing the DM starts describing is that there is a throne in the center of the room. As he's about to say more, I blurt out
"I SIT IN IT."
DM: Uh. I haven't described
Me: I don't care. It's a nice throne. Now it's Jason's throne.
DM: There's a skeleton on it.
Me: I shove it off.
DM:.... Sigh. You discover that its an illusion, but he keeps on with his automated message anyway. *Something about doom of some sort*
If we were smart, we would have used the fact that it was an illusion to mean that something else was going to attack us. Maybe something hidden, or invisible. But I was caffienated, and as such, not quite intelligent. So Jason sat on the throne, shooting the **** with an illusionary skeleton while its telling us how we're all going to die. And then the invisible, tentacled monstrosity came and started to grapple jason.
Since its invisible, all the party can see is Jason floating in mid air and thrashing about. Confused, they all just stand there, leaving Jason to solo it for a bit. He busts out of the grapple just as the magus stepped in to finally help him, only for the magus to get grappled. So, since one of his buddies is in danger, Jason jumped right back in, took control of the grapple, and proceeded to make the invisible tentacle monster his bitch while the rest of the party killed it.
The next three feats he took were improved unarmed strike, improved grapple, and greater grapple. Just in case. Which sets us up for...
YEEE-HAWW!
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Were in the BBEG's stronghold, and there's his second in command (a lamia cleric of some sort) and a few giant thugs in our way to activating the portal to get to the BBEG and win the campaign. The assassin is preparing to kill a wizard miniboss, while I'm flying (boots of flying ftw) and invisible, waiting to provide backup. The assassination attempt goes badly, which is Jason's cue. Jason swift bursts out of nowhere, tackling the lamia boss armed with nothing but a 50-ft rope and his steel testicles.
Round one: Tackle the lamia into the wall
Round two: Pin the lamia, and then hogtie
Jason still had a couple things of rope left, so he wasn't done. He found the biggest thing in the room, yelled for someone to coup de grace the lamia, and tackled a giant. He took the AoO to the face, shrugged it off, and proceeded to hogtie the giant. The combat didn't last long, and then the portal was open. Still fueled with adrenaline, Jason charged in, leading us to:
The final boss
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Jason found himself alone in a huge chamber, with the BBEG. Jason was still at full health. He had not used his 1/day breath of life. He still had rage and 1 challenge left. However, he had already used his 1/day dimension door. Close enough to perfect for him.
The BBEG's readied actions went off, sending a few area of effect spells that would have killed a couple weaker members of our party. Jason passed the most deadly save, and since he had bought a ring of evasion, was pretty much unfazed. Jason charged. Jason grappled.
BBEG had freedom of movement.
However, being a raging brute of a brave dumbass provided the rest of the party to get in through the portal without dying. Right as they bust in, they see jason get trapped in a force cage. Unable to get out, Jason was forced to do nothing for the entire fight as the rest of the party used Jason's momentary distraction to beat the living tar out of the BBEG.
Epilogue
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The toughest thing killed, and Jason having needed to sit by and watch, he felt his life unfulfilled. Seeking to prove himself the best of the party, he traveled the world in search of women and badassery, and eventually rose to demigodhood. He is now a minor diety in all of our campaigns, and he and his followers will occasionally make brief cameos.