Before I even load the video, wow writers. Way to spoil the surprise. The preview didn't have the Sontarans named as such, some Whovians would know who the Sontarans are, many members of the audience wouldn't know.
Sure, it's not much of a spoiler; not as much as calling an episode where the Big Reveal is that the Daleks have masterminded the entire thing '
DALEKS IN MANHATTAN', but come on.
But let's get on with the show.
Oh my Lord,
one second in! Not only do we get a creepy statue of a goat(?), a
red lit manor house, but also an owl hooting in the background. Hogwarts much?
Rattigan Academy?! Okay, this place is evil. A red building with spooky ornaments already suggests evil or trying too hard; but naming it after
the world's greatest criminal is one of the most unsubtle ways of telling me this school is Evil with a capital E. Everyone at this school is Evil, but
especially the Headmaster, the teachers and maybe the Prefects.
Two seconds in people and I already know the Place of Evil, likely suspects for Bad Guys, and probably involves using children's intelligence as some kind of super computer a la the Demon Headmaster books.
Or the episode 'School Reunion'!
To Wikipedia! This episode aired 26/04/2008, 'School Reunion' aired . . . 29/04/2006. Two years. Nearly to the
day. I know I normally do this when the intro runs, and I'm only two seconds into this episode, but WHO WROTE THIS STORY?!
Helen Raynor. The writer of 'Daleks in Manhattan'/'Evolution of the Daleks'. Now I know why the title gives away the monster's identity. And why it appears to be ripping off one of the best episodes of season two. Oh no. Old Companion meets current Companion. I swear if Martha starts slagging off Donna I will flip.
I was looking forward to such deliciously clichéd happenings and now it's just going to go down the pan with a first part that I'm probably going to hate so much, and then a second part that is better than the first, but still not up to usual
Who standards.
I think I've been there. You know, the manor house done in the style of the Gothic Revival of the early C19
th that just hovers forebodingly like an Evil castle clinging to an Evil cliff like an Evil parasite somewhere in the rural and wooded areas of a certain Eastern European country.
This is Margham Country Park, Port Talbot. I haven't been there before, but I've been to near clones of the place.
Called it. "[A]n impressive and picturesque Tudor-Gothic style Victorian Mansion House". I don't even know where I picked up the architectural knowledge.
More red-robed cultists abducting women at night time. What is this Pompeii ? Also, called it. Evil people working at an Evil school. Can't actually see the woman yet, but I bet she's a student. It's a student! Ah, the robes are tracksuits. What kind of cult has red tracksuits as a uniform? That's lame.
Student: "You're going to regret this." Get your hands off me? The authorities will hear about this/print this exposé in a paper? Agonising death that was completely unexpected? Throwing her to the floor?
You know, in a manically clichéd way (five horror ones so far) this could be pretty fun. Would make an amazing drinking game.
"Get your hands off me!" And then she's thrown to the floor! I'm writing the script! Oh look, Evil student who is probably a Prefect. And he sounds American. Oh, my mistake, the student is actually a reporter.
"And spell my name right. Rattigan with two tees." So he's the Headmaster's son? Ugh, spoiled brat. He's got enough attitude to drown widows and orphans that's for sure. And she
is going to print an exposé in the papers. I'm awesome. Look at me, I'm writing a
Doctor Who episode!
Reporter: "This goes way beyond the newspapers! This goes world-wide! I'm telling you ATMOS is dangerous."
Brat: "If you had proof, you wouldn't be here."
Reporter: "Fine. If you won't listen, find someone else who will." The Brat pulls that face, you know the one, you've all made it, the 'don't they know I'm
God and the centre of the universe' face. And then in a wonderful stroke of irony Reporter gets into a car with an ATMOS label on it. Even though she's convinced it's dangerous. Hypocrite much? I mean, unless this is a government mandate like catalytic converters or carbon neutral emissions then ATMOS should be an optional thing for a new car and thus not in most cars. If she really believed ATMOS was dangerous she'd sell that car and buy a second-hand car that doesn't have ATMOS in/on it. Or use public transport. Or
walk.
ATMOS is an ATmospheric Emissions System. Punny name. This definitely makes her a hypocrite. You could just rip that thing out. What d'you mean ATMOS can't be disabled?! It's a piece of software, by definition it's something that isn't integral to the system so rip. it. out.
UNIT HEADQUARTERS!
UNIT! UNIT! UNIT! I have many clichés and
UNIT. This makes me a happy bunny. UNIT! The Brigadier! he was one of mum's favourite characters. I'm going to see the Brigadier. Oh my word this is fantastic.
I
detest the Brat, an insult to the name Rattigan. When he talks about the hypocritical Reporter he calls her "clever, but not as clever as me, obviously". And normally while I'd complain about him expositing to thin air for the sake of informing the audience about something, I genuinely believe this pompous little brat of an excuse for a teenager would talk to himself in order to stroke his ego. When was the last time I met a character in
Who that I took such an instant dislike to? I think it was Diagonal Man from Ms. Raynor's last episodes.
Called it. He recommends "termination" of the Reporter. Then we zoom out to a purple telly box as a husky voiced man says "Remember your status. We do not take orders from humans." It's the Sontaran leader. Wow. Way to go spoil the surprise Raynor. I don't even need to watch the rest of the episode now. I know what the conflict is. The Sontarans created ATMOS because Evil! and they employed the Brat to distribute it because he's such an arrogant . . . genius, and ATMOS will destroy humanity.
Don't know what the Brat gets out of it, aside from the ego trip obviously. You know, it's brats like the Brat that give teenagers a bad name. We're not all like that. To continue, Martha is going to be a friend of the Reporter, so when she dies she's going to call the Doctor because the Reporter told Martha what she thought was going down.
Doctor comes in, there'll be a spat between the Companions, and the Doctor gasps when he meets his old friends and enemies. CLIFFHANGER! Next episode, conflict between the Brigadier and the Doctor, but they get over it, unite in AWESOME and defeat the Sontarans and the Brat is justly humiliated. Maybe dies. End episode. End serial.
I swear. If this is what happens, in that order, I'm writing to the
Doctor Who office with a script I will write in less than a day. And I'll record myself writing it for proof.
Ugh, the Captain took the "military wisdom" of the Brat for seriousness. "She will be terminated." It's not even proper military parlance. What's that I hear you think? 'but the Sontarans are aliens and wouldn't know military slang'? The Sontarans are still speaking
in English meaning they have some form of translator microbe that would translate idioms etc. Therefore my complaint is perfectly reasonable, if more pedantic than usual.
Here, have some UK military slang. Really, it's just got my goat up because it sounds too Dalek to me, and I don't like what Raynor did to the Daleks.
UNIT has answer phones. Called it. ATMOS has killed but she "can't prove anything". Why is she following the instructions of an ATMOS machine? When she's on the phone telling her superiors that she highly suspects that the ATMOS machines were involved in
killing numerous people yesterday.
Call me cynical and well-versed in common media tropes, but if I were her, and I'd just been found snooping around trying to prove ATMOS killed people, I wouldn't then get in a car with ATMOS installed.
ATMOS is now Christine, and kills her. Death in an ironic way related to what she was investigating? Called it.
Hey, Donna's piloting the TARDIS! Left-hand down? Sounds like the usual thing people say when taking a learner driver out on the road! Oh! Phone call. Must be Martha. It was.
Titles.
Maudlin Martha is maudlin, and then she bunny-faced at 04:12. Back to stupid faced in what, five seconds on screen? Not good. Martha honey, you're a pretty girl, stop making stupid faces, they're one of the reasons I called you MtM. That and being stupid.
Why can't anyone say Doctor in this show? Rose said 'Docta', Martha says 'Doc
tah', Donna's normally too busy shouting to say anything. Hugtiem!
M: "Right. Knew it wouldn't take you long to find another one." NO! NO! Martha, you were pretty cool later on in season three, don't go all Rose on me now. Don't you dare. Don't. But at least the Doctor's got experience with former Companion/current Companion relationships now right?
Yes. T: "Please don't fight, can't bear fighting." Besides, we all know Donna would win.
D: "I've heard all about you. Talks about you all the time." First off, Donna's acting like an adult about this, not acting like a whiny temperamental toddler, proving once again that Rose is a
bad person because I sure as
Hell wouldn't act that nasty to someone even if I'd never been introduced to someone before. Second off, the Doctor's actually talking about former Companions who
aren't Rose. This is a good thing. He's getting over the self-centred, clingy woman. Third off, Donna's
happy to meet Martha. Fourth off, and most importantly,
Martha got over her crush on the Doctor and is now engaged. Awesome.
Seriously.
She's engaged to Tom Milligan. And I remember that name! He was the man who helped smuggle Martha back into England in 'The Last of the Time Lords'. I knew they had chemistry!
Aww, this scene is lovely. These two girls get together and pick on the Doctor. It's like that scene when Rose finally grows up and starts hanging out with the wonderful Miss Sarah Jane Smith properly and starts bonding with her.
What's Operation Blue Sky? If it's to get the Doctor involved in the plot why not call it Operation Medic? Oh wow. UNIT! They're impressive, red bereted and dude, that's a lot of people.
Oh. ATMOSphere! Love this: T: "What are you searching for?"
M: "Illegal aliens!" But not the kind
The Daily Mail harp on about.
This is so cool. I'm watching Martha - a Doctor assigned or attached to UNIT seize an entire factory with a massive armed force looking for aliens from outside space. This is like what I'm told Three's stories are like. How retro-meta.
As an aside, I'm mildly certain that the medical divisions of military forces can't just run a mission the way Martha's doing so. The RAMC
only use their weapons in self-defence and are a non-combat branch of the military forces of the UK. Martha is acting outside of the traditional medical field of influence as she directs the close tactical seizing of a suspected enemy establishment.
That's like sending your electrician in to do the plumbing.
I love the music used for the seizing of the factory. The combination of the trumpets and strings give both a triumphant military air, but the darker strings also add some suspense.
However this is going according to the plan of the Sontaran Commander. But here's the thing, they're taking great care to obscure any details of the Sontarans. Except we saw their faces in the teaser for this episode. And that anyone with half a brain who was especially nerdy would Google Sontaran and find out what they look like. And half the audience already knows what a Sontaran looks like.
Because you showed it in the teaser, and then named the episode 'The Sontaran Stratagem'. Raynor, you can
not write suspense to save your life.
Anyway, the Commander calls the UNIT strike force
toy soldiers as well as calling them
small. Frankly, I'd be afraid of them.
Martha got fast-tracked through medical school. Even though her "experience on the field" was limited primarily to aliens from outside space (or the future). And none of it was performed in contemporary hospitals with the equipment she'd be using as a trained doctor. Moreover, what
kind of doctor? Surgeon? IF so she'd not be
Dr Jones, she'd be Miss Jones. There are dozens of specialisations within the medical field. Which did she specialise in?
And now the Doctor gets to meet the Brigadier for the first time since he was Three.
I get to meet the Brigadier! So. Cool.
Colonel Mace is
not the Brigadier. And why would a
Colonel be running the field operations base during the seizure of a single factory. This is a criminal waste of talent. What if something goes wrong? You lose someone with decades of experience as a commander of men and of general manoeuvres. Oh me oh my, the Colonel is a fan of the Doctor. He's read "all the files" (read: seen all the episodes) and the Doctor is still technically a member of UNIT as he never resigned.
Hee. T: "[I used to work for them] A long time ago. Back in the '70s Or was it the '80s." Both probably. Three was definitely early '70s. Don't know if you were involved in any others.
I think UNIT pinched some Time Lord tech as that set looks way too big to be in a lorry.
Donna goes all Guantanamo Bay/police state on the Colonel, making me sigh in exasperation; way to leap headfirst into Silly without finding out
why an elite military force seized "innocent workers". But you pulled your greatness right back with this line, "The name's Donna. Donna Noble since you didn't ask. I'll have a salute." If I knew Donna in real life I'd date her. Not 'Runaway Bride' Donna, but this Donna.
oh my gods the colonel saluted donna this is wonderful marry me donna! Sorry, Donna's charisma, insolent sarcasm and balls of steel made me lose my ability to punctuate.
And we get Plot from the Colonel. Yesterday fifty-two people died in
identical circumstances all over the world. At the exact same moment. All inside their cars.
Just like the Reporter. But if these were the deaths to which she was referring earlier, then why didn't UNIT believe her when she was insistent that ATMOS was up to something? Because fifty-two identical simultaneous death world-wide just doesn't seem something people would look over.
Sarah Jane Smith noticed one secondary school getting
exceptional test results and she was
one reporter. UNIT is a United Nations funded military with access to literally anything they could imagine
including the Valiant and this didn't twig any of their spidey-senses? No. Really.
UNIT and all its powers and influence are more oblivious than a single woman in her late-forties/early-fifties who has a broken K-9 and the internet and newspapers to aid her.
Desk. Head. Meet and repeat.
Aaaand they don't mention Reporter's death in that scene either, meaning that UNIT's close-mouthed stubbornness to one of their own got her killed.
As we already know the only thing all these deaths had in common was they had ATMOS installed. Apparently "everyone's got" ATMOS. It reduces carbon emissions to zero.
It's a green message.
Desk. Head. Meet, greet, repeat. I hate green messages and Anvils.
I can roll with alien tech that neutralises carbon emissions. UNIT does
not roll with alien tech, hence the seizure of the factory.
What. ATMOS
is just software, meaning it can be uninstalled or simply ripped out. Why didn't Reporter take the system out of her car before she went to the Evil School? But UNIT checked it out, all was cool, then it wasn't so they got an expert in. The Doctor, adorkably, doesn't realise the expert is him for a fair five seconds. And he's in his brainy specs.
D: "Why would aliens want to clean up our atmosphere? [...] Maybe they want to help?"
T: "Do you know how many cars there are on planet Earth?" INCOMING ANVIL. Duck and cover! Well, in 2008
52 000 000 cars were produced, so a billion.
T: "Eight hundred
million." Except the way Tennant says it makes it sound like he says billion. This is a surprisingly subtle Anvil all things considered. Just beat us around the head with the number of cars in the world. It left us to choose whether to think or not. Seeing as we cut to two redshirts in red berets in a pitch dark room illuminated by two torches looking at blueprints, I choose not to think right now.
Let's see how they die!
Wanna see a Sontaran kill someone. But that'll ruin the Big Reveal. That was ruined one week prior.
Let me guess, they're in the basements, and someone's going to say they want to go back, there's nothing there. Probably a boiler room or a janitor's cupboard. Called it.
Oh my, eerie looking white lights and something like a laboratory. Oh look, zombie people. "This area is out of bounds", bet they're outside the Sontaran cupboard. Called it.
But it's fine. The Sontaran Commander has honour. The UNIT redshirts shall pass. Meaning the Sontarans can mind control people from a distance.
Green glowy light in a dark room. It has a coffin in it. Ominous.
Oh look, a redshirt with a brain requesting back up! Bet you the radio doesn't work. And the redshirt who acted like a Git is being a twit. And a grabby one at that. You're in a military force that deals
with aliens! Back away from the mysterious technology you nothing nothing about. Stupidity For the Sake of Plot!
The Git's after promotion. You touch something that could be the alien equivalent of an IED you're going to get demoted. At least Sensible Redshirt is being sensible.
Oh look, Sensible Redshirt was right. Something's banging inside the coffin. Now would be the time to run away and/or take cover. Especially as the music's gone all etherally scientific and uses something akin to a theremin. Maybe some sort of synth.
PONTI Git tries to open the
unknown piece of tech and somehow does. Setting off al;arms. It's a puddle of stinking green goo.
It's the proto-flesh from 'The Rebel Flesh'/'The Almost People'! Or the Nestene Conciousness. OH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT! AUTONS! With freaky mouths that look like they've been partially sewn up. It's icky. There's an "umbilical cord" attached to its neck. Okay. Weird. PONTI Git just said he thought it was "harmless". T-minus sixty seconds to death. Then again, I do agree it looks barely alive. Then again,
it's an Auton.
YAY! Sontaran! And PONTI Git is actually pretty awesome. He's swaggering around and calling a Sontaran (of which I know nothing bar the name and general physical appearance) "Humpty Dumpty" and implying he's a child playing dress up.
Why does the Sontaran Commander sound like elderly John Cleese? Guys, I am loving this Sontaran Commander, I'll call him Monty. He's producing some epic insults here. "Words are the weapons of womenfolk. I judge you unfit." Although a bit hypocritical as that verbal smackdown was indeed a weapon. An insulting one.
PONTI Git "What're you going to do? Bite our ankles." Well no, Monty's just lazored it into shards of bone. He has however surpassed the sixty second mark, so anything beyond that's a precious moment he should cherish.
Monty guys.
Monty. He just ordered Sensible Redshirt to
shoot him. And then to reveal via some techoTreknobabble that he disabled their weapons via . . . vibrations(?) the moment they entered the room. Dudes. This guy. He has a six-packed carved onto his armour. CALLED IT! He blocked their radio signals.
I got to go find out who did the voice for Monty. I'm in love with this voice. He rrrrolls his rrrrrrs so wonderfully.
Christopher Ryan. This guy was in six classic British shows.
The Stratagem of the title involves disabling Sensible Redshirt for nefarious purposes later on. PONTI Git gets introduced to General "Monty" Staal of the Tenth Sontaran Battlefleet, "know as Staal the Undefeated". Removing his helmet we only see his eyes.
Even though the teaser from the previous episode clearly showed us what a Sontaran looks like.
Back with the Doctor it turns out ATMOS does what it says on the tin, but it's not alien, just ahead of its time. But then the Doctor snaps, "You're [the Colonel] carrying a gun. I don't like people with guns hanging around me.
A'right?" Um. Yeah. No.
You've carried guns yourself Doctor. Remember
Nine in 'Dalek' with a freakin' lazor rocket blaster thing? Eight threatens
to shoot himself with a gun. You, and your allies use guns.
What a - what a - what a doorknob!
I like that Martha's just smarming up his ego, "I learnt from the best" indeed. Yeah, you did. But you also acknowledge that the best isn't always there, so you have to settle for second-best, and removing any small advantage (like guns) second-best has is tantamount to shooting your arm off to spite your legs.
And where's the Brilliant Donna! There she is! Complete with a shoutout to Storm Troopers..
Oh my Lord Donna I want your babies. Donna used her temp skills and found out that noone ever at the factory has ever ever taken a sick day. Ever. That is very wrong, "Hundred of people working here, noone's sick". Love her. So much.
Rightly so, the others react with shock. Me, I think they're all Autons from that coffin down the basement. M: "I can see why he likes you. You are good." And we all know that if it was Rose here, not Martha she'd be pitching a fit. But these two are cool froods together. They're even going to work together at a medical centre to check out the workers.
The Doctor chases after the Colonel and I
really want to Doctor to apologise to the Colonel. But the Colonel has to suppress his hurt and instead provide info on ATMOS. It's made by the Brat whose subject profile literally reads "GENIUS". A teen one at that. Hate. This Brat runs the Evil School (despite being no more than nineteen years of age) and handpicks its students from all over the world.
Given the audience knew all this before the characters did, I like this. Oh, Stupid Face Time: 17:32, the Doctor's drunk 'I really love you, you're my best mate' face. Eeeeew. Sounds a little pervy though when you combine it with the line "I get lonely" when he's implying he's going to visit said school. And in advance let me say that sixteen is the age of consent in the UK. But they never say how old the students in said school are. Potential ick there.
Donna debates calling her mum to warn her about ATMOS, and Martha asks about the family she left behind. Donna didn't say anything to them. We get Martha telling Donna about what happened to
her family. Blah blah blah. You know, the Doctor could just drop Donna off on the hill with her Awesome Granddad a few hours after she first went off with him. Like he did with after your first four episodes. Martha's making Donna realise how important her family is (and she Bunny-faced me at 18:24). "Not the Doctor's fault. But you need to be careful. [...] He's like fire. Stand too close to people and he'll get burnt."
Back with Monty and the redshirts are now clones. And the brass is more menacing and ominous.
Hate you Doctor. Hate. "I want to talk to [the Brat]. Not point a gun at him." He has a point in that the Brat's not likely to speak to anyone in a uniform.
But that's what civvies are for. Is there going to be an anti-gun Anvil in here somewhere? Because it's an incredibly unsubtle and unconvincing one.
What a weird rebuttal. The Colonel says that because the school's ten miles outside of Londinium the Doctor needs an escort. As opposed to taking a bus or a taxi? Or borrow a jeep.
Huh. I was right about the Colonel being a fanboy. I think he just wants to take a ride in the Doctor's TARDIS. Heee. The Colonel just called the Doctor on his antagonism. By calling the TARDIS a secret weapon.
But still. They compromise and give the Doctor a less obvious escort, and orders to declare a code red if things become FUBAR.
T: "I said no salutes,"
C: "You don't give orders."
T: "Oooh, cheeky" The Colonel just snarked at the Doctor.
NOOOooO! Donna. DON'T GO HOME. NO. DON'T. You're so cool. And now the Doctor's sad too. "So many places I wanted to take you. The fifteenth broken moon of the Medusa Cascade" [again? Didn't this pop up in the season three finale, and in 'The Fires of Pompeii'?]. There some other stuff, but no way am I able to transcribe that. Points to Raynor for creating images of alien vistas that a) sound gorgeous, and b) sound alien.
N'aaawww, look at the Doctor's throat all aquivering with sadness. Cute sad music as well. Strings and piano again.
I think this is one of the first times the Doctor's ever been able to say a proper goodbye to a Companion. I still think "Goodbye
my Sarah Jane" was better though. So much emotion in so little. The two there knew everything that was involved in that goodbye, and so we too picked up the
everything the Doctor was saying.
'Course, then the music picks up some humour because he just realised Donna's only going home for a visit. "You dumbo." I knew she was going to stay, but now that she's out of the plot there'll be less Donna. And less Donna makes me sad.
Back with Martha we find out that yes, the humans are clones. Worker: "I'm here to work. [...] Twenty-four [hours a day]". And the Redshirt Clones follow Martha and abduct her because she's got "security clearance level one". She deserves it because she bunny-faced me at 22:07. Keep your mouth shut Martha. I shouldn't have to have coined a word because of your inability to keep your mouth shut.
In Donna's plot she walking home. Only been gone some days apparently. Cue flashbacks to the previous three episodes and the trauma of
adorable adpiose on screen time to girl out lava monsters and seeing children you know will be killed by Vesuvius' ashcloud and feeling what it feels like for an entire species to be enslaved.
Being a Companion is traumatic work. I actually like this brief series of flashbacks because often it's the subtle things that represent the enormity of what she's seen. Knowing so many people will die because she
chose to make it so as the lesser of two evil (Pompeii), and representing it with a shot of two children in the ash-snow and so on.
Hi Granddad. Still being awesome.
Cue the running and hugging in the middle of the road scene. Nope. She's running to
him. OH THE MUSIC. Want. And this is so sweet and lovely and these two are
truly related.
Ugh. MtM is back. I don't understand how she can vacillate from being astonishingly perceptive/concerned (Martha calms the Doctor down post-gun rage and when talking to Donna about her family) and then walk down a place she has never seen before to see the Colonel. Stupidity For the Sake of Plot! But only a minor case.
Oh look. More bubbling green. And she finally figures out that she's in trouble. And as she screams all the lights go out.
Yay! Donna. Granddad is so sweet. Oooh, what's that pretty theme in the background? D: "I trust him with my life"
G: "I thought that was my job."
D: "You come first."
This is one of the most realistic and sweet family relationships in the show. And even when you throw mum into the mix it still feels like a proper real family.
Whoa.
Doctor Who just invoked Godwin's Law. No. Seriously. For reals. Two episodes in one day . . . Apparently the Evil School is a bit "Hitler Youth" and if
anyone had
any doubts whatsoever as to the relative moral leanings of the Evil school are put to rest right here. It does also imply indoctrination and a sense of . . . racial purity as well. But that's what the Hitler Youth does to you when you take Modern History at GCSE. Really it's probably because Ms. Raynor took a History O-Level and it stuck with her. There are lots more 'cults' aimed at teenagers that run a rigid regime and indicate Evil.
Hey, a plot hole just got filled in! "[ATMOS is] fitted as standard in all government vehicles. We can't get rid of them until we can prove there's something wrong. Drives me around the bend." Still don't see why you can't just modify your vehicle, but at least there's a reason Reporter had ATMOS installed in her car.
And cue the slightly
Psycho strings, mixed with a bit of that music from
The Sixth Sense as we see teenagers
willingly doing exercise all surveyed by the anemic looking Brat. Surveying his Evil kingdom like an Evil overlord. This is a fan
tastic piece of music. Really gives off creepy airs.
Oh sweet merciful fashion
gods. Those poor teenagers. Those track suits are their
school uniform. I'm so sorry for them. Really. That's just.
Ick.
These are typical school uniforms in this country. And most countries. For the UK once one leaves secondary school you don't usually have a uniform. I don't think
any school in the UK has track suits as a uniform. Unless it's for school sports teams.
But the important thing is that the Doctor's geeking out over techno
Treknobabble in the science labs that are
way beyond anything you could reasonably expect any small group of teenagers, no matter how smart, to build. Gravity simulators and the like cannot be built on the basis of one person's fortune no matter how big.
Because public schools don't actually get funding from the UK government, and so the Brat is funding all this personally. Which is highly doubtful.
Terraforming?! Biosphere? Nanotechnology?! Flamethrowers?! No matter how much money you throw around, this seems to be a sixth form science lab. This breaks so many laws. So many. Who has a flamethrower regularly going off in the middle of a lab with dozens of other very delicate experiments going on?! Especially ones that are adversely affected by the heat?! Or the carbon given off? Or the fact that none of these children are wearing sufficient safety equipment to have a freaking flamethrower in the room exposed to all and sundry?!
Why isn't this place shut down?
But the Doctor's geeking out, and it's cute in his brainy specs.
The Brat is being a brat. Is that even a real American accent because I'm sorry, but those nasally American accents are the kind that everyone hates. Ryan Sampson is from
Yorkshire. Okay, no one would believe anything like a genius Yorkshireman existed. Lancashire we could believe though. I see why he put on an accent.
So the BRat gets confrontational with the Doctor and UNIT. He's eighteen? No way in six years was he able to do all this. This boy is
not a normal eighteen year old. And that's excluding the smarts.
As much as I hate this word, the Brat is a freak. I blame his intelligence.
Why does inventing something that neutralises carbon emissions take "blinkered vision"? Surely it's a good thing? No more car pollution. Okay, yeah, the oil runs out really fast. It's treating one of the symptoms without addressing the overall illness, but it's still a really good idea. It would slow global warming down some.
Okay, the Brat just invoked a tautology when the Doctor said "ATMOS system" which it is, S is for system; but the way he just leapt right in there. Either he's a major grammar Nazi, obsessed with proving his super-smartness or his social skills are nil. Or all of the above. I don't really feel like invoking aspies, OCD, ASD or similar. Too obvious.
T: "It's been a long time since anyone said no to you hasn't it?" Yeah, it must be. And you know what I just realised? Emancipation of minors (aged sixteen or seventeen) in England is dependant on the following factors:
a) marriage
b) joining the military
c) A court will order a minor emancipated only if s/he is able to prove that s/he is
entirely economically self-sufficient (no assistance from anyone, even in the form of 'you can live here for free'), is emotionally capable of living alone, and has a home environment which is entirely unsuitable.
If the home is suitable, then the court will not order even the wealthiest and most mature seventeen year old emancipated, and if the first two criteria are not met but the home is unsuitable the minor will be sent to the care of another adult.
Meaning this boy has done all this in less than a year.
BULL.
So where are the parents?!
T: "Not easy is it, being clever?" Well, actually it is.
Socialise. I'm not clever, and I do find interacting with people awkward because I'm cripplingly shy, but I can do it.
T: "You look at the world and you connect things" [who doesn't? I do all the time. Can't stop.] "Random things. You think 'why can't anyone else see it? The rest of the world is so slow'" The Brat agrees, and I feel a little awkward as I sometimes type-shout that very thing when I'm doing these write ups. Oh well.
The Doctor then turns his speed up to twelve and quickly explains that no matter how smart the Brat is he still had help because many reasons. That purple round thing that looks like a stargate isn't just a thing it's an alien thing. "A teleport pod". The Doctor just pushes a button.
Idiot. Who knows where he'd go? He's in the Sontaran space ship now. And Monty's there! I can tell because of the voice. Then the Doctor ran which somehow started the teleport pod and he went back to the office and now there's a Sontaran. And the Doctor sonicked the pod broken before shouting "
Sontaran!"
This Sontaran is Monty! Why is it always Monty? Aren't there any redshirt Sontarans? Not that I'm complaining! I love Monty. Monty's confused, and so is the Doctor. This stuff they've been doing "hiding, using teenagers, stopping bullets, that's not typical Sontaran nature". So what is? They "face bullets with dignity". And are honourable. I know Monty is.
Hi Mr. Potato Head! Huh. Looks like he's run face first into a brick wall. And Ross just made the same comparison I did. T: "You look like a big pink weasel-thing to him." Ah. Sontarans are a race of warriors (like the Klingons), grown in clone batches (like Stormtroopers). And their weak spot is a hole in the back of the neck. It means "they always have to face their enemies in battle". I don't know. What are the odds of a marksman being good enough to hit that little hole? That requires close up work or
excellent hand-eye coordination and luck.
Or, if your the Doctor, a tennis racket, ball and a wall.
How the Hell did he do that?! Even with foreknowledge that was a brilliant shot. Not-Monty dies.
Running! Driving away really fast in a car with ATMOS in. Stupid. Oh. Not-Monty was only stunned. And that was a quick repair job. Okay, I hate to do this, but they all look the same, and sound the same. They're all Monty.
Four hundred million AMTOS is sufficient to convert what?
The Brat is a psychopath. End of. "Fifty-two deaths in a
second man. That is so cool." No. No it's not. That is an atrocious thing to say. It's one thing to say that about a fictional someone dying a fictional death, but to say that of
real people. People you helped kill? That is so very wrong. This is beyond 'has no social skills' and into the 'dangerously mentally unsound' area. Even the Monty who's been with the Brat for a few minutes is giving him an aside glance at 32:30. Probably because it was a dishonourable way of dying or something (these guys are such Klingons). Actually he was just confused over an idiom (like a Vulcan). Hee, love that awkward silence.
The Brat has literally committed treason. On the entire human race. And he's
happy to do it. He's literally bouncing up and down. Whatever this thing is, all four hundred million ATMOS are going to be activated and whatever happens is
not going to be good for humanity.
This person has no soul. His is eighteen years old and has no soul. He believes this is a good idea, and that there is (presumably) not one person on earth worth saving aside from himself. He is a monster.
Ugh. MtM "Is someone going to tell me what the Hell is going on?!" Martha, honey, you have been seized by the enemy. neither the Sontarans or the clones seem the kind to burst into a declamation of their entire villainous plan. And stop bunny-facing!
Hey. The Not-Monty is Skorr the Bloodbringer. Love that name. Whut. It's just "simple hypnotic control" being used to dominate the redshirts and the factory workers. The ones who work twenty-four hours a day with no negative health affects? Semi-bull!
Oh. They're cloning Martha in a pool of green. Scary? The music says so. But I think not. Though now I think about it, two Marthas? I shudder at the idea.
back aboard the space ship we see a pretty shot of space and general bustle. The Brat knows war is coming to Earth, "It was never big enough for me". Git. And the Sontarans remember the Doctor!
"Legends say he led the battle in the Last Great Time War" [wait
what. Well, now I know why
Nu Who Doctor portrayals seem more anti-violence than I get the impression
Classic Who Doctor portrayals were.
Also: the Doctor
led the final battle of the Time War. And
won. That's a scary thing.] "The finest war in history and we wenre't allowed to be part of it. Oh this is excellent. The last of the Time Lords will die at the hands of the Sontaran Empire in the ruins of his precious
Earth."
That is a badass declaration. And the music is very determined and moody. The cellos hold the main theme, a brooding one, dark and threatening, before the violins join in. The danger is rising, the climax is coming, cue the drums. War. And zoom out.
I remember that ship from 'The Pandorica Opens'!
Called it. Clone Martha. That's kind of - Clone!Martha looks so much like
Pocahontas it's uncanny. And well, she was my first platonic girl-crush when I was young if that makes sense. And I mean
young. My second platonic girl-crush was Mulan.
And she is beautiful and has a personality. The same goes for when she's a boy. I first saw
Mulan in 1999. I was eight. So yeah. Nostalgia makes that reveal kind of hot.
Monty regrets the "ordinary" death-by-ATMOS the Doctor will experience
mais c'est la vie. Eh bien, tant pis. Ross and the Doctor find out that ATMOS drives the car so the Doctor sonics it, but it's deadlocked.
Oh. Death by drowning again.
Hee. The Doctor logic-bombed the ATMOS. "You are not to do anything I say right? [...] THen I
order you.
Drive me into the river." Ross and the Doctor get out the car expecting an asplosion, but it fizzled like a disappointing firework on a drizzly Guy Fawkes Night. "Oh is that it?" Yay lampshade!
The Bad Guys assume the Doctor is dead. Clone!MtM is now an operative. And she's off to work. And no longer kind of hot.
Yay. Donna and the Doctor are back together! And are requisitioning a vehicle without ATMOS. And Granddad meets the Doctor again! So cool. Oh, Wilfred Mott. And he's all happy and stuff.
Oh dearie me. Clone!MtM just got contacted by the Doctor who's just told her about the file/name Code Red: Sontarans, and that UNIT is not to engage in direct contact with the Sontarans 'cause they'll die.
So I know what Clone!MtM's going to tell the Colonel then. Nothing whatsoever.
Guys, I love Wilfred. I hope he's a recurring character. See, unlike Rose's family or Martha's Wilfred has this thing called a
nice personality. He sweet, and is endearingly protective of his "only granddaughter. So you [the Doctor] got to protect her all right?" And his and Donna's banter is so affectionate.
Whoa. Spiky things on the ATMOS box. Temporal pocket? The Doctor's the "man from the wedding"? What wedding? How does Donna's mum know and no one else including, seemingly, the Doctor. Is this another timey-wimey thing or did I forget -
duh. Donna got married. Nearly. Where's my brain gone?
Oh look. The ATMOS thing is a smoke machine too. And the Montys are happy the Doctor survived because now there's "glorious warfare"! Who's Sondar? A God? Emperor? Aaawww, they're told to rejoice when they go to war.
Aside from exhaust fumes there was a gas released - poisonous - when the Doctor asploded the car. And
of course the sweet and kindly Wilfred gets into the car to move it just as all the cars are deadlocked.
Even though you can just
break a window to get out.
Here comes the gas1
Gold's done some lovely tense music for this cliffhanger. Shame that the wider shots of the gas being released into the atmosphere look shaky. But that is
very good tense music. Though those strings are a little obvious for me.
Sontar-HA! Is this the New Zealand All-Blacks or something?
Ooh, GOld wrote this entire peice of music to go with the pace of the Sonar-HA!s, so as they speed up so does the music. Lovely bit of work there, actually makes their . . . warcry? seem a little threatening.
And we end on a shot of the Doctor being all lost and dazed with the gas seemingly marching on his position with Donna crying Doctor as the end credit scream kicks in.
Preview thoughts: Good. They kept the preview at the end of the credits. "The government has declared a state of emergency", marching Sontarans. Something is launching, lazors, the Brat seems upset -
good - there's
a Martha bunny-facing. The Doctor says again not to engage the Bad Guys in battle, something's being transferred in the TARDIS. And "the bravery of idiots is bravery nonetheless". And something's gone nuclear.
Yes. This is a teaser. It's tense, confusing, and throws in some big unknown threats on top of the already known threats. I like it.
Best Moment: Monty's first proper scene. Runner-up is Wilfred and Donna reuniting after a days long absence.
Worst Moment: THe Doctor is needlessly antagonistic over something that he's never had serious problems with before in a relatively peaceful scenario. Very out-of-character.
Cut part of my rant.
Runner ups:The moment I realised there was a sub-plot and overarching plot that was a clone of 'School Reunion'. And the Brigadier isn't here.
Best Special Effect: The Sontaran battleship.
Worst Special Effect: That shot of the gas dispersing in the car park.
Best Actor: Christopher Ryan! So many Sontarans to play, and there are differences between them, but not so many it doesn't make them seem not like clones.
That doesn't make sense. I think.
Worst Actor: My kneejerk reaction is to say Ryan Sampson (the Brat) because he just rubbed me the wrong way instantly, but that's the
character. I think the worst
actor is the one who played the Sensible Redshirt. He didn't really stand out or have any interesting lines, really only seeming like a bland non-character existing just for symmetry.
Most Punchable Character: The Brat. But the Doctor comes
really close.
Death Count:
Onscreen - one
Offscreen - fifty-two
Number of Times Rose Is Mentioned:
None. Except invoked by me.
Thoughts overall?
In spite of the fact that it was written by Helen Raynor, whose previous episodes I really didn't like, this was pretty fun. I managed to predict pretty much all the first third of the episode and lots of the rest, but clichés aren't bad if they're revelled in, and I think here they are. Not loads, but there does seem to be a lot of fun involved with the opening five or six minutes which is purely a walking cliché.
I
didn't like the obvious comparisons to 'School Reunion' as I feel it actually weakened this episode overall because I can't help but look back at 'School Reunion' with fondness. Sarah Jane Smith, K9, Giles, and a unique setup as far as
Nu Who was concerned. Recycling it so obviously was a poor idea, should have tried for something different.
I don't know how true to
Classic Who the Sontaran portrayal is, but they're deliciously fun and revel in being a one-note species (literally) and the only reason I can draw so many parallels to other famous alien species is because most of them came
after the Sontarans were made and the fact that they're so one-note makes it fun.
When was the last time I had a fun alien species/villain, aside from the adipose? The Master. And the Family of Blood. Sometimes one needs extra ham.
I can't really comment on all the messages as they're only half-made though. The thing that really bugged me actually was the sheer implausibility of the map of deaths and what it implied. I can excuse the shakiness on knowing the rules for the emancipation of minors in England because it is a bit obscure and picky. I
can't excuse the basic common sense that dictates that there's no way fifty-two deaths could be fully autopsied in less than twenty-four hours and the reports handed over to UNIT and Martha. Even preliminary reports would take quite some time.
Especially in cases of suspicious deaths where the COD is a complete mystery as a coroner wouldn't want to look like a berk would he?
Here are my thoughts on it.
In other words: much better than her other attempt at creating an engaging and interesting (not rage-inducing) first half. Even with the faults involving revealing the Big Bad. But maybe I can excuse it as a
Classic Who quirk.