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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
Kneenibble: Courage, friend. Courage is what you have when something scares you, but you go out and do it anyway. So you need not feel bad just because something scares you, the question is what you do then. Then again, if you simply have no reason or desire to crossdress, going out just to prove you're still willing to seems kind of silly to me.
Also, mmm... sensitive rabbi look. :smallredface:
Heh, thanks, but I really don't think there's anything mmm-worthy about me these days. :smallwink:
It did used to scare me, but it was also fun. I'd ride the bus, walk around campus and downtown, and confuse the hell out of guys by using the mens' washroom in heels, makeup, hair, nails, a dress, the whole picture.
What really concerns me is reputation and respect now. It's not that it scares me, it's why it scares me. Then, it scared me because people might have tried to hurt me. Now it scares me because I am a professional in a career and I don't want to make waves like that: the fear is of negative attention and humiliation, a loss of face. It's a sense of propriety I've developed that I confess ashames me a little.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
A sense of shame is a terrible thing to have. I want you to repeat after me: "What I do on my own time has no bearing on my professional time, and if I enjoy it and it doesn't hurt people it is nobody else's business but my own. If need be, I am willing to verbally defend my right to be a person outside of my career."
Or stand up to me for why that isn't a valid opinion to hold. Either one will earn/maintain my respect.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
A company shouldn't be doing anything to you based on an extra curricular, as it were (non-company related activity, you get what I mean). Just like, although the CEO might not like, say, square-dancing, he has no way to do anything that would actively affect your job position based solely on the fact that you go to a square-dancing club after work (just one really terrible example).
If you are worried more about your coworker's finding out, there seems to be a simple solution; don't let them see you do it.
If you actually want to do it at work; there isn't really a way to get around this one. Your job might not be in trouble, but the social situation of your position might go down because of how you dressed. I can get that. However, I would ask myself first, why exactly do you feel like you need to wear a dress to work? Is it because you like wearing dresses, or because you want to prove something to yourself, that you aren't fully assimilated? Why, precisely, would wearing a dress accomplish this better than say, protesting for LGBT rights, or working with the homeless, or something like that? What, precisely, does cross-dressing get you that you can't find elsewhere? Is it the thrill that you seem to be associating with it? If yes, then that is sort of the point. If you want to feel a thrill, there has to be some sort of implicit danger involved; if there were none, you wouldn't really be feeling anything.
I for one, happen to like suits; I like wearing them, I like to see men wear them. I generally prefer them to women's clothing (although I did cross dress in preschool; also, my parents are AMAZING. Like, I went through all of preschool wearing a dress every day, and never got any flak for it, from anyone. I don't remember a single person ever saying that only girls wore dresses, or that I was being "wrong". I am so glad my parents are so awesome). I don't like to wear women's clothing at all though, so maybe it is just me.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I totally agree that you should be yourself outside of your job and it shouldn't affect it... but I also understand that if you're a public figure for instance, that will affect it, because your image is an important part of your career, and what you do in your private life can affect your image.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
unosarta
A company shouldn't be doing anything to you based on an extra curricular, as it were (non-company related activity, you get what I mean). Just like, although the CEO might not like, say, square-dancing, he has no way to do anything that would actively affect your job position based solely on the fact that you go to a square-dancing club after work (just one really terrible example).
While in theory your boss can't fire you because you like square-dancing, there are a lot of ways to fire someone arbitrarily without using the real reason. There's all sorts of dumb legal loopholes employers can use to fire someone they want gone. So if your square-dancing hating boss finds out you square dance then all they have to do is keep making your job worse and worse until you quit or find a superficial reason to fire you that will stand up in court - and there are a lot of those.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
unosarta
although I did cross dress in preschool; also, my parents are AMAZING. Like, I went through all of preschool wearing a dress every day, and never got any flak for it, from anyone. I don't remember a single person ever saying that only girls wore dresses, or that I was being "wrong". I am so glad my parents are so awesome
This is:
A) adorable
B) superawesomefanstico
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kneenibble
Heh, thanks, but I really don't think there's anything mmm-worthy about me these days. :smallwink:
LIES.
LIES AND SLANDER.
*buttslap*
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Slurpintime
LIES.
LIES AND SLANDER.
*buttslap*
Seconded. ALL OF IT SECONDED.
(Is a Serp fangirl and a Kneenibble fangirl)
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
(Is a Serp fangirl and a Kneenibble fangirl)
Just, you know, as a general guideline, Lix is an everyone fangirl. Not that that isn't incredibly obvious.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rae Artemi
Just, you know, as a general guideline, Lix is an everyone fangirl. Not that that isn't incredibly obvious.
Contemplated making this very comment but figured somebody else would word it better. And now you have. :smallbiggrin:
If we're limited to one flattering thing to say about Lix it's that her obsessive flirtations are reassuringly consistent. :smalltongue:
As for Kneenibble and to a slightly lesser extent (as in, I babbled for fewer "paragraphs"), The Rose Dragon... I typed up obscenely verbose responses to your posts this morning only for the home computer to eat them. The gist was essentially:
@TRD: This sort of misconception is widely spread, in reality and in fiction. Sigh.
The German thing is cool though - one of the reasons I ended up taking French as half of my joint degree was that French and German were the only classes that I was able to express myself about "issues" in unimpinged by school rules - as long as you're grammar and inntonation was sound you could make whatever ridiculous argument you liked! We talked about veil policy and gay marriage and adoption in French and in German - subjects that were entirely taboo, innapropriate or "dangerous" in essentially every other subject area I had experience in.
@ Kneenibble:
Your situation isn't without precedent either. What you're describing seems to be very common within the transvestite community. I use the word transvestite because that's the term Eddie Izzard identifies as and I'm a big fan of his work. If you've never heard of him I reccommend a google and/or youtube search - you're likely to come up with something that resonates with your experiences.
(+ 70% added waffle.)
It's probably for the best that my connection's bad and I use tech that's on it's death bed. :smallbiggrin:
[ER wonders whether she sounds as patronising as she suspects she does, and puts it down to paranoia]
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Eleanor_Rigby
@TRD: This sort of misconception is widely spread, in reality and in fiction. Sigh.
I'm not sure how to take this, really. Did I offend you somehow?
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Eleanor_Rigby
Contemplated making this very comment but figured somebody else would word it better. And now you have. :smallbiggrin:
If we're limited to one flattering thing to say about Lix it's that her obsessive flirtations are reassuringly consistent. :smalltongue:
Would you describe her as bi-, pan-, or omni-flirtatious? :smallbiggrin:
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
TRD: I think she's referring to the "bisexual in denial" thing. Which leads me to suspect she's confusing it with the "everyone's just a bisexual in denial" thing.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Rae Artemi
Just, you know, as a general guideline, Lix is an everyone fangirl. Not that that isn't incredibly obvious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Eleanor_Rigby
Contemplated making this very comment but figured somebody else would word it better. And now you have. :smallbiggrin:
If we're limited to one flattering thing to say about Lix it's that her obsessive flirtations are reassuringly consistent. :smalltongue:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Would you describe her as bi-, pan-, or omni-flirtatious? :smallbiggrin:
Omni, but limited to living beings. :smalltongue:
And thank you. I think. xD
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I have a sex-related question. (As in sexual intercourse. Not gender)
Is the proper protocol asking via PM, or is it just discouraged on these boards period?
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
It's not discouraged, but it is safer to use instant messengers, since PMs are still subject to board rules.
From what I can tell, moderators and admins can't actually check your PMs for violation of board rules, but better safe than sorry.
((If you want to ask me, my IM information can be found in my profile.))
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Blisstake
Is the proper protocol asking via PM
Yes, you just ask for people, prepared to hear you and give you advice, to PM you.
Or you just directly PM peoples that seem to give the most advise and see whom responds :smallsmile:
but then you risk them having a full PM box and not even noticing that you PM'ed them.
You might want to also check out the Relationship Woes and Advice thread for peoples filled with advice. :smallwink:
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Rose Dragon
It's not discouraged, but it is safer to use instant messengers, since PMs are still subject to board rules.
From what I can tell, moderators and admins can't actually check your PMs for violation of board rules, but better safe than sorry.
((If you want to ask me, my IM information can be found in my profile.))
Actually, they can, but they need to be given a reason to before they will.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Seconded. ALL OF IT SECONDED.
(Is a Serp fangirl and a Kneenibble fangirl)
Were you operating under the impression this wasn't abundantly clear to everyone? :smallconfused: Because that was achieved about 3 months ago.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
Would you describe her as bi-, pan-, or omni-flirtatious? :smallbiggrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Omni, but limited to living beings. :smalltongue:
And thank you. I think. xD
Actually you could be toti-flirtatious as well. My bad for forgetting that.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Coidzor
Were you operating under the impression this wasn't abundantly clear to everyone? :smallconfused: Because that was achieved about 3 months ago.
Really? My Serp-fangirling is a newer thing... or at least the openness of it.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
One of my friends on Facebook posted this earlier.
Quote:
The transgendered community has to be protected. I just don’t have any tolerance for that sort of intolerance. And I think we need to legislate aggressively to protect them.
– Barack Obama
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Now that's good to hear?
Can we get a citation..? :smallconfused:
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Now that's good to hear?
Can we get a citation..? :smallconfused:
Och, aye.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Really? My Serp-fangirling is a newer thing... or at least the openness of it.
You've kinda built up a persona where that goes without saying though.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Omni, but limited to living beings. :smalltongue:
What? No robots. :smallfrown:
I would call it bioflirtual, but I am hurt that you discriminate against robots!
This shall be punished by tickle-hugs! :smalltongue:
*Tickle-glomps*
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lix Lorn
Really? My Serp-fangirling is a newer thing... or at least the openness of it.
I've been a Serp fanboy for... more than a year now.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Asta Kask
I've been a Serp fanboy for... more than a year now.
Not that it really matters, but I've been a Serpentine fanboy since before I was The Rose Dragon.
((One day you'll be mine.)) :smalltongue:
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Rose Dragon
Apparently, I read as androsexual to people. They seem to be amazed that I am, in fact, heterosexual, and not into guys. My psychologist seems to think that I am a bisexual in denial, or at least that that's how people may view me and will as a result of my perceived denial find me more difficult to approach.
:smallconfused: That is... Strange. Do they say why they think you're secretly androsexual?
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
I'd like to point out that to the best of my knowledge, I'm the only one here who's provided serp valentines chocolates and/or gotten her drunk (depending on number eaten in a setting).
Thank you, this has been a test of the emergency creepiness broadcast system. We now return to your regularly scheduled golentan creepiness.
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golentan
I'd like to point out that to the best of my knowledge, I'm the only one here who's provided serp valentines chocolates and/or gotten her drunk (depending on number eaten in a setting).
Thank you, this has been a test of the emergency creepiness broadcast system. We now return to your regularly scheduled golentan creepiness.
And now: Segue Dance!
[dances to the segue song]
[segue dance ends]
you're watching the Playground Emergency Broadcast System... Remain in doors!
[watches the Quiz Broadcast politely]
Oh that Unknown Male 282... such a joker...
...and if you just tuned in and were hoping for something more closely related to LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen...
...Then you're in luck!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s04umYHWYls
[watches]
That's all folks.
(For the uninitiated, "Gary Rhodes" is a real person, and really did have a hairstyle like that.)
Out of curiosity, does anybody here actually have a "Gary Rhodes" or "Cary Grant" to help them with nerves on dates?
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Re: LGBTAitp - Part Thirteen
No, but I have an itemized list of social cues I've found that I can give to increase my chances of a successful date (by which I mean arranging a second one) without feeling I've compromised my personal integrity. It includes a list of recommended and "to be avoided" physical contact points arranged by time and appropriate response situations, key words to be used or avoided (avoided words are particularly important), and rehearsed gestures and physical responses (posture and pupil dilation practice have proven particularly effective).
I actually have the full list typed out, and do read through it right before dates.