Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread

*I can't stop Inevitables from attacking by telling them they need to get authorisation from the UN Security Council.

* I can run a campaign about fighting Nazis with ray guns on Mars.
** Not before I establish if the Nazis or the PCs get the ray guns.

* May not homebrew a race called the Kaydee'ee
** Nor Trnscriptome or Pr'teome
*** Gankerage, Gjuneua and Gfairbanks are right out

* [Tenra Bansho Zero] No longer allowed to replicate the Wing Zero (Gundam Wing) so well that the GM suggests everyone else rebuild their Yoroi Armours...
* Even if someone took my original concept, which was more reasonable in the offense department but had 30 Vitality. On just the Yoroi Armour.
* If my Tenra character's dice pool rivals that of an Exalt, I am to assume I should play something else. :smalleek:

* Being a large ham is not compulsory for members of the Order of the Sacred Hamaxe.
** My telepathic war priest cannot have a higher technology rating than the group's engineer.
*** May no longer use the fact war priests can be any Martian Caste.
* May not hoard Story Points just in case we come across an abandoned Europan saucer to reverse engineer.
** May not one up the Europans by building a better ship with their technology.

* There is a difference between stealth and a carpet bombing.

* When I GM, I may not make a religion worshiping "The Statless Entity"
** The priests of it are not called "Math Priests" and they do not worship and fear it for being beyond all numbers.
*** They cannot say in response to "If it has stats we can kill it!" with "What is statless can never die."
**** Nor can they be afraid of the Mathless Plane, a place where no numbers or measurements exist, where Mathless Monsters dwell, and warn all adventurers against going into it for their own safety.

* Yes the Multiform is a horrible DBZ technique.
** Yes it halves your power with each duplicate.
*** Yes it has never won anyone a single fight.
**** Still not allowed to come to the conclusion that it was invented just to pleasure one's lover with multiple versions of themselves, or to pleasure narcissists with themselves in bed.
***** Cannot attempt to solve harem anime problems with multi form technique. Even if it would probably be successful.

* [Pathfinder] Not allowed to giggle when the GM announces he wants to use the new "critical fumble app" he got.
* Especially if I am playing a Witch with Misfortune Hex (curse that forces foes to roll twice, take the worse result).
* Ability score damage has no place on fumble tables.

* Not allowed to suggest we decide who will be team leader through a "dominance fight."

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Originally Posted by GrayGriffin

* Not allowed to suggest we decide who will be team leader through a "dominance fight."

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**If challenged to such a contest by the Fighter, may not cast Dominate Person on him and make him perform "I'm a Little Teapot" for the spell's duration.

* If I ask for less railroading, I may not then attempt all the quests in the setting at once.
** Not even if I can pull it off.
*** Also, I may no longer use any form of long-duration minion summoning.

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Originally Posted by JAL_1138

**If challenged to such a contest by the Fighter, may not cast Dominate Person on him and make him perform "I'm a Little Teapot" for the spell's duration.

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***If then the whole team thinks the fighter is awesome and should be the leader due to his performance of "I am a little teapot" then you should probably retreat because he is a bard.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JAL_1138

**If challenged to such a contest by the Fighter, may not cast Dominate Person on him and make him perform "I'm a Little Teapot" for the spell's duration.

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*** At no point should anyone say "Wizards are overpowered, DM do something please".

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Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard

* There is a difference between stealth and a carpet bombing.

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... crud! *snaps fingers dejectedly*

*not allowed to call on vaarsuvius' law to solve a diplomacy check.
** the requisition of large amounts of black powder, alchemist's fire, acid, explosives, incidiaries, and other harmful substances will net me at best an alignment change, at worst, books thrown violently from a great height.

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Originally Posted by goto124

*** At no point should anyone say "Wizards are overpowered, DM do something please".

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**** As GM, May not respond with: "Very well, I am an Old Testament Deity however, and shall not be merciful. The world shall be flooded for 40 days and 40 nights to wipe away all wizards. you want any non-overpowered wizards to survive, build an arc and put them on it."
***** Nor may I say I'm a Greek God DM and say that the wizards efforts are tragically in vain, for no man can escape their fate no matter how great they are and that they die for their hubris for thinking they can even come close to godhood in a cursed way like being turned into a tree or an animal.
****** Nor may I go Norse on them and laugh as the inevitable Ragnarok comes to bring an apocalypse upon all things and the Wizard dies as foretold in the prophecies no matter what he does then new wizards get introduced as the world is reborn
******** May not be an Aztec God DM and demand a sacrifice every time you prepare your spells at dawn.
********* May not be a Cthulhu Mythos God and say that the more spells you acquire, the more your sanity lowers as you learn forbidden knowledge not meant for mere mortals.
********** May not be a Buddhist God DM who causes karmic events to happen for all their shenanigans while demanding that they can only be so magically powerful if they take levels in monk, then makes them ascend to Nirvana and thus lose their individual identity if they get to epic levels.
*********** Or a Shintoist God DM who demands that all wizards have to take levels in samurai for their magical power, and even then you have to negotiate with fickle uncaring alien spirits for your spells to work/to acquire them
************ Finally may not be a Roman God DM who does basically the same thing as the Greek God DM, but you have to be loyal to and worship the Emperor of Rome as a requirement of being a wizard.

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Originally Posted by noob

***If then the whole team thinks the fighter is awesome and should be the leader due to his performance of "I am a little teapot" then you should probably retreat because he is a bard.

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****May not then challenge them to a fiddle contest to see who's the better bard.
*****If ever involved in a fiddle contest, may not play "Fire on the mountain."
******Unless the fiddle contest is against a devil (especially if said devil is looking for a soul to steal), in which case I'm absolutely required to.

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Originally Posted by goto124

*** At no point should anyone say "Wizards are overpowered, DM do something please".

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****If prevented from simply winning with mind-controlling spells, may not challenge the Fighter to an arm-wrestling contest, cast Enhance Ability on myself, and finally get a bit of use out of having taken Expertise in the Athletics skill.

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Originally Posted by GrayGriffin

* Not allowed to suggest we decide who will be team leader through a "dominance fight."

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** May not play a Thri-Kreen.

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Originally Posted by JAL_1138

****If prevented from simply winning with mind-controlling spells, may not challenge the Fighter to an arm-wrestling contest, cast Enhance Ability on myself, and finally get a bit of use out of having taken Expertise in the Athletics skill.

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***** My wizard cannot complain that bards are overpowered.

* Even if it is rules legal I can't start running in abject terror because my hair was singed or my mum was insulted.

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Originally Posted by Anonymouswizard

***** My wizard cannot complain that bards are overpowered.

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******May not use Mass Suggestion to make the wizard believe bards aren't overpowered, or at least not complain about it.
*******May not use Modify Memory to make the wizard believe the bard just got lucky, but that it's still a valid win, rather than it being due to bards being overpowered.

OMG, these are all hilarious. Thanks guys, I needed something like this.

Here are some D&D 3.5 ones, as that's the only TRPG I have experience with.

*My Chameleon may not duplicate summon giants from the Disciple of Thrym list, even though it's a 4th-level spell.
**Or abuse the wording of Shape Soulmeld to get a meld in every slot.
***Or introduce himself as a new character every day, even though you can pull it off with those Incarnate and Binder levels.
****Or use Illumian to get 7th-level spells.

Spoiler: Context

Show

The first three are entirely possible for a well-build Chameleon character.

summon giants is normally an 8th-level Cleric spell, but is also a 4th-level Disciple of Thrym spell.

Soulmelds last a week after they're shaped, so technically you can use the floating bonus feat to shape lots of melds.

Incarnates and Binders can literally swap their entire skillset on a daily basis, which is also the main purpose of Chameleon. One guy said he played a character like that, and it was really fun.

The Illumian sigil thing is a bit iffy even by RAW, but some people do things like that in TO.

Edit: These never happened, but they'd probably get me a metaphorical book in the head. Is that allowed?

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Originally Posted by danielxcutter

Edit: These never happened, but they'd probably get me a metaphorical book in the head. Is that allowed?

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If hypotheticals weren't allowed (particularly in responses, but in main entries as well), we wouldn't be on the 11th iteration of the thread. We'd likely be on, like, thread number four or something. Maybe. :smallsmile:

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Originally Posted by JAL_1138

If hypotheticals weren't allowed (particularly in responses, but in main entries as well), we wouldn't be on the 11th iteration of the thread. We'd likely be on, like, thread number four or something. Maybe. :smallsmile:

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Good, I'll be able to participate more in the future then.

* May not insist that if we were limited to stuff that happened we'd still be on thread one.
** Or that we'd be on thread 29 due to them timing out.

* If, under some circumstance, I'm allowed to play a gnome, I'm not allowed to stick all my skill points in knowledge (engineering), knowledge (architecture), craft (alchemy), craft (metalworking), craft (woodworking), and craft (machinery).
** May not pick the name 'Know Man's.
*** Or Gnome Ann.
**** My home cannot give from the Gnome family. Their first name is not Gno.
** My Fortress of Doom cannot be better than the BBEG's.
*** May not make my Fortress of Doom fly.
**** May not arm it with cannons and bombs.
***** If my reasoning for stopping the big bad is 'I can't take over the world of its destroyed' my gnome is not Lawful good.

*May not take Leadership.
**Or Thrallherd.
***Or any of the Cohort feats. Ooookaaaay, maaaybe Wild Cohort.

*May not take Planar Shepherd.

*May not make ass puns if one of the players is an Aasimar.
**Or intentionally misspell the word.

*May not use my Smite on everything that pings on Detect Evil.

*Not allowed to have 4 dots in Crafts
**Especially not Crafts (Duct Tape).
***May not take Advanced Specialty: Duct Tape.
****All of this goes double if I have invisibility.
*****Or super speed.

*May not commit acts of verse about Flumphs

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 2D8HP

yo

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**Especially if inspired by Sir-Mix-a-lots "Baby got back"

***Never have "yo" and "Fiend Folio" in a rhyme ever again!

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Originally Posted by goto124

*** At no point should anyone say "Wizards are overpowered, DM do something please".

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Welcome back goto124!

Good to see you!

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Originally Posted by danielxcutter

*May not use my Smite on everything that pings on Detect Evil.

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** May not skip the detection stage and go straight to the smiting bit.
*** And not because it's a waste of spell slots.

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Originally Posted by 2D8HP

Welcome back goto124!

Good to see you!

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Same! Plenty of old friends still around.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JAL_1138

If hypotheticals weren't allowed (particularly in responses, but in main entries as well), we wouldn't be on the 11th iteration of the thread. We'd likely be on, like, thread number four or something. Maybe. :smallsmile:

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either i'm a blabbermouth, or some people seriously need to reign in their "no fun" settings. i've only invented 3 out of my too many entries in these threads. i've translated all of them from french, though, so some have been modified beyond belief to create a working pun or joke.

also helps i'm the token alcoholic/ basket-case/ loony-bin escapee in most of my groups. whaddaya know, i'll invent my 4th ever:

*if my ideas come from watching looney tunes or batman the animated series as a late twenty-something-old, either it's got to have crazy good backstory, or it's banned.
**unless (gods forbid), the team summons edward.
*** the team needs to give 3 sessions notice to the dm to summon edward ever again.

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Originally Posted by Guizonde

either i'm a blabbermouth, or some people seriously need to reign in their "no fun" settings. i've only invented 3 out of my too many entries in these threads. i've translated all of them from french, though, so some have been modified beyond belief to create a working pun or joke.

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Its less restraining myself and more not having the opportunity really. some of these simply never come up.

* May not troll a past version Princess Celestia twice in one conversation
** Especially not while reviewing all the canonical threats to Equestria in order that occur in her future
*** Especially if the second time is by accident because I forgot that another persons PC was an alicorn.
**** May not troll her if the first time if its revealing to past Celestia that future Celestia brought Discord to be redeemed by Fluttershy in the first place when Past Celestia thinks I'm making it up and that she would never allow that
***** Especially if the first trolling is in revenge for Celestia trolling me by not reacting to my Trollgrape Surprise Soda.
****** The surprise can't be that it tastes horrible.
******* may not rant about starlight Glimmer being worst pony in front of Past Celestia.

All of that however is completely true.

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Originally Posted by Belac93

**Especially not Crafts (Duct Tape).
***May not take Advanced Specialty: Duct Tape.

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Haha, and one of my characters has about 5 rolls of the stuff for his inventions. XD


* I'm no longer allowed to find suitable medical applications of duct tape.

*I may no longer send monsters with the Pseudonatural template(ELH) at the party while I'm DMing unless we're already at epic levels.
**Even then, no Pseudotarrasques, Pseudosolars, or Pseudoforce Dragons.
***Pseudonatural creatures do not get bonuses to attacking female characters.
****Or male characters for that matter.