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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am to stop bringing soundtracks for my bard music
**Skrillex is indeed, horrible at inspiring confidence.
***I am not to pronounce it Skillrex and turn it into a monsters roar.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ksheep
* I may not make Glasses of Disguise using the alternate body slot rules for magic items.
** Said glasses do not provide my extremely well known, super strength character with a secret identity.
*** Especially if all it does is change my brightly colored leotard into a suit, brush my hair back, and make it so I'm wearing a pair of glasses…
**Nor wil lifting those glasses and saying my name, temporarily and only for the person spoken to, reveal my real identity
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jivundus
****That's it. Dactylic trimetre for all dialogue, no exceptions.
Why do you curse us perniciously?
I feel that dactylic trimeter
Lends no iota of dignity
To dialogue one must use it for.
Now, tetrameter trochaic
Though it seem a tad archaic
Has a sounding beat of progress
Dignity in all its lines is.
Much though I am loath to lose it,
Yet, alas, I cannot use it,
Lest ye be all moved to laughter
By comparisons hereafter:
"Hiawatha aimed an arrow
Whom the angels name Lenore."
Iambs are swift to write and trochees not;
Pentameter is easy to be got.
But all great lines were taken by the Bard,
And writing good ones is exceeding hard.
I don't know how to write anapests
So this line is the end of my jests.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Even if in character, I am not to make a list of exactly how much I expect to be relayed for actions that would be expected of being a member of a party, e.g. helping someone regain conscousness using my own supplies and expecting reimbursement, chipping in a minor sum of money for something that benefits the group, etc.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not swap the Paladin's Phylactery of Faithfulness for a cursed fake that gives him bad, but convincing, advice.
*No crafting a magic item that lets me use ventriliquism at will. It's all fun and games until the entire party turns against each other.
**No getting Pazuzu to make one for me, either.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Randomguy
e.
*No crafting a magic item that lets me use ventriliquism at will. It's all fun and games until the entire party turns against each other.
**No getting Pazuzu to make one for me, either.
***If I use it to make trolls argue until the sun comes up, I am getting slapped so hard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not to start every session by singing the parody of the black eyed peas song "I got a feeling (that tonight's gonna be a gaming night)"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Not allowed to pronounce that my class is magic-usurer and charge people for casting Glitterdust on the monster presently bearing down on us.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Pickpocketing may not be my Assassin's main source of income
** Nor shall it be from finding unlocked treasure chests on random rooftops…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Saintheart
* Not allowed to pronounce that my class is magic-usurer and charge people for casting Glitterdust on the monster presently bearing down on us.
**Not allowed to announce that my class is magic-boozer and get drunk before all of my casting.
***Not allowed to announce that my class is magic-loser and forget all of my spells before combat.
****Not alllowed to announce that my class is magic-abuser and make my party members' lives hell.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Flame of Anor
**Not allowed to announce that my class is magic-boozer and get drunk before all of my casting.
***Not allowed to announce that my class is magic-loser and forget all of my spells before combat.
****Not alllowed to announce that my class is magic-abuser and make my party members' lives hell.
** I may not be a magic-cruiser and "Pimp my Floating Disk"
** Casting sleep on myself as a magic-snoozer is also forbidden.
** Being six inches tall does not make me a magic doozer.
*** Not even if I make edible constructions out of radishes.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
May not use a bag of marbles to defeat the big bad.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am never again to dump WIS
*If I dump CHA, I am to be kept away from important people.
**If taking 10 gets me a result worse than a Nat 1 from the party face, I am to just remain silent. He's got it under control.
*I may not pretend to pass out in the poison gas and make a CON check to withstand it because my character is in a personal spat with another party member.
**I will fail this check. Always.
*Never. To play. Low INT. B****y/a*****e high INT is still preferable to that.
*Doesnt matter that it's the second highest STR in the group, +3 mod isn't that much.
*You're 6 CHA. You're not a catch by anyone's standards.
**Above average STR doesn't make it better.
***Being female, it may actually repel people. Now set that nice man down.
*Not to point out illogical scaling of Power and Intelligence capabilities.
**I don't care that they technically suggest that a supercomputer is only 25% more likely to be right than a mentally disabled infant.
*If a system switch brings me from lowest CHA to second most charming party member while keeping the same classes, suddenly becoming the second party face may still be a bad idea due to personality remaining the same.
**I may make Intimidate checks though to feel useful.
***Nevermind.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am no longer allowed to claim that my wizard schooling came from a red-headed wizard/artificer with a green pseudodragon familiar who gave firsthand lessons through the usage of an enchanted wagon.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I use the Heroes system but...
*My Teleporter cannot Telepport People off cliffs and similar hazards.
**Above Lava is a similar hazard, even for dragons and people immune to fire.
***Usuable on others as an attack is now a revoked advantage for all non-attack abiliies.
****Usable on others is now a revoked advantage.
*I can no longer perform my 'blink' trick in order to avoid being shot at by over 50 goblins using magical arrows.
**My character is not allowed to survive being shot at by a small horde of goblins by dodging and the use of 1 healing potion for 1 or more turns.
*I can not use spells to turn the butcher shop into a basically limitless source of character points for enchanting.
**The GM will now actually make the Enchanting Rules.
***I can nolonger play an enchanter of any kind.
*The GM will now actually make investment/housing rules.
**My character is now a bad invester, and always has any house they by burn down.
***The above rule doesn't apply if I manage to by an castle occupied by an opposing force from the king, thus immolating the (Insert race/group here) Horde/Army.
*I am not allowed to build my own magical items.
**Other players are not allowed to sell me magical items they supposedly bought for themselves.
***No one is allowed to use any of the item creation rules.
*When the GM kills my character, one of the many Heroes characters I have lieing around because I like to make characters does not immediately or soon after join the party.
**I am not allowed to have pre-built character sheets.
***I can nolonger occasionally GM to get around this rulling by pretending for them to be NPC's.
****I can not be currently helping another player build a character.
*****Other players can not bring in their backups for me if my character dies.
****** Yes, all these apply nomatter what, it does't matter if it is because of the parties 'Jenkins', we forgot something in the plan, bad luck or plane ineptitude on one or more players part.
*Any gunpowder analouge will kill me in its creation.
*I am nolonger allowed to use the martial arts rules.
*Dispite the crappy falling system that would allow me to survive, the fact other players have survived the same thing with worse preperation, and the ability to teleport mid fall to the ground at 0 velocity, a fall from a 10 story building is an instant death. The .2g just became 1g.
*I am nolonger allowed near the rulebook without GM supervision.
**Yes, despite the fact I own it.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not go hunting Flumphs and after capturing them, stuff them into my bags of holding just to throw them out underneath me whenever I am falling from a great height.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not allowed to summon "Satan claus" due to misprint on the memo from the mall boss.
** I am not allowed to explain that she came "because she's my girlfriend"
*** I have to explain in-game how me and Satan are dating.
**** "SCIENCE!" is not an acceptable answer.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
**** "SCIENCE!" is not an acceptable answer.
Should have just used "SILENCE!" as your answer then they would not be able to point out the fact that it is unacceptable.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*No character of mine may have full ranks in every single Perform skill available. Even if I am playing a Bard.
**No character of mine may have full ranks in every single Knowledge skill available. Even if I am playing a Wizard.
***No character of mine is allowed to have full ranks in every single subskill of a skill.
No, not even then.
****In fact, I may not have characters that more than 3 subskills maxed out in a single skill.
*****I may not put less than full ranks in a skill to get around this
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Techwarrior
*No character of mine may have full ranks in every single Perform skill available. Even if I am playing a Bard.
**No character of mine may have full ranks in every single Knowledge skill available. Even if I am playing a Wizard.
***No character of mine is allowed to have full ranks in every single subskill of a skill.
No, not even then.
**** This goes double for all Profession skills…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
My bard may no longer take the perform skill, but not carry an applicable instrument. Especially if I do not know the spell Summon Instrument
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Things my psion is no longer allowed to do:
1) I may not set the druid on fire to prevent ninja attacks.
2) I may not set myself on fire, even if I have the fire resist to take it.
3) Ditto for the swordsage.
4) The elf's woodsy nature does not make her extra flammable.
5) Pointing out that forest fires occur naturally will not make the druid less upset
6) Even if it makes him do more damage, I may not set the grappling barbarian on fire.
7) I may not set the bard on fire for the sole purpose of making "flaming" jokes at his expense.
8) I will stop referring to the halfling as kindling.
9) While fire is a versatile problem solving tool, setting the rogue on fire does not improve his sneaking ability.
10) I may not set enemies on fire as an intimidation technique.
11) Especially if I have no way to extinguish the fire.
12) I may not try to set records in the "Most enemies set on fire in an encounter" category
13) This goes double if it is a social encounter
14) [redacted]
15) If the DM includes monsters with fire resist in the encounter, I will not complain about having to use one of the "boring" elements (aka cold, lightning, or sonic).
16) I am not allowed to make a knowledge (flammability) check upon entering a building.
17) I do not receive xp for anything killed in any tavern, brothel, stable, castle, or forest fires I start.
18) I may not refluff my energy ray power as coming from my eyes, mouth, or any other orifice on my body.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I am not allowed to make the BBEG think he is an orange (flavor for psychic crush)
*I am not allowed to play a mind flayer.
*I am not allowed to play a psion
*I am not allowed to play a vampire wizard with one level in fighter (Actually the DM's idea- the vampire bit anyway. Don't think he counted on the 46 AC).
*I am not allowed to convince the underlings of the BBEG that perhaps they are undervalued as people, and should unionize
*I am no longer allowed to play a half-celestial warforged paladin.
*Balor's nimbus set to "Hug" is not for burning down forests.
*I am no longer allowed to play any class that utilizes spells with the [fire] descriptor.
*I am no longer allowed to come up with "Xanatos gambits" as plans of attack.
*I am the DM
*I am no longer allowed senile wizard npcs who forget they have war wizardry (4e)
*I am no longer allowed to set the adventure in a haunted house.
*I am no longer allowed to tell scary stories afterwards
*If I break these rules, I have to cuddle the players to sleep because that was not nice, you big meanie (Totally fine with this).
*The deck of many things is right out.
*I am not allowed, to prove a point, to pit the party against a like-leveled group of doppelgangers- with NPC class levels.
*Maybe you should just read a book, Hyde.
*I am no longer allowed to bring romance novels to the weekly DnD session, and read the steamy bits in my "creepy little asian girl" voice.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Things I am no longer allowed to use the deck of many things for:
-Texas Hold 'em
-Fortune Telling
-Solitare
-Magic Tricks
-Playing a Gambit expy
-Building card houses
*In fact I'm no longer allowed to find a deck of many things as a player, even though i'm the only one brave/foolish enough to want to/acutally use one.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
** If I ever find a Deck of Many Things, the DM will explicitly tell us that it IS a Deck of Many Things, not just "You find a deck of cards"
*** The DM will do this even if we don't check it for magic or get it identified.
**** The DM may not drop a Deck of Illusions and make us THINK that it's a Deck of Many Things…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Divinations may no longer interact with the Deck of Many Things in any way.
**When challenging Death to a game, I may challenge with 52 card pickup exactly once.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I have to tell rest of the party that Frenzied Berserker I'm making may turn on others after failed Will save, before they pick up classes that don't know a single spell, power or ability that could stop her.
(I'm really afraid that once our party in all-Orc game will have a serious fight, this will bite us hard).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
NM020110
*Divinations may no longer interact with the Deck of Many Things in any way.
**When challenging Death to a game, I may challenge with 52 card pickup exactly once.
*** 26-card Stud is also disallowed…
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Morithias
**** "SCIENCE!" is not an acceptable answer.
Oh, but it's poetry in motion...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Wookieetank
-Texas Hold 'em
*There is no such magic item as the Bag of Hold 'em.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Flame of Anor
Oh, but it's poetry in motion...
*There is no such magic item as the Bag of Hold 'em.
Yes there is, I just made it.
Bag of Hold 'em
weight: 1/2 lb
value: 500 gp
properties:once per encounter the player may reach into the bag of hold 'em and withdraw a deck of cards, a game of texas hold 'em immediatly begins with all sentient creatures within 20 ft participating unless they pass a DC 50 will save. Ante starts at 1 gp. During the game the 5 cards in the center will magicaly conform to whatever the owner of the bag wishes them to be, however they will not change value once flipped face up thus, to the casual observer the owner of the cards will not appear to be cheating.