LGBTAIitp # 49: Please check all baggage before boarding the Rainbow Rail Road

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Originally Posted by SiuiS

Only if you're absolutely sure sir. It does require changing the bulb.

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*snrk*

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Originally Posted by SiuiS

You can grow a body with a uterus in, you can take a uterus out, but I'll be darned if it's as easy to put one in where it wasn't before... :smallbiggrin:

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...you put your uterus in, and you shake it all about...

Ew, self.

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Originally Posted by EvilRoeSlade

Thanks, Batmare is always ready to defend the innocent.

I'm just stopping in to introduce myself. Even though I've got that little venus sign on my profile, I was actually assigned male at birth, I just haven't been able to bring myself to change it to M<F because issues. I was actually introducing myself as female on the internet long before I came to terms with my need to transition.

Anyway I'm not there yet, the road is long and painful. Don't know any queers in RL, I plan to change that but I'm shy and socially awkward so I don't know how it will go. Until then I'm just poking my head into little nooks like this to meet other people.

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Hi! :smallsmile: Here, take some cheesecake.

You're MtF? Female symbol is fine, IMHO. I think about half the trans girls here have the female symbol. Personnally, I identify more strongly as a woman than as a trans woman. + You don't have to come out as trans to everybody.

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Originally Posted by EvilRoeSlade

Alright since my therapist hasn't replied to my E-mail yet, let me just see if you guys have any advice.

CW: Street harassment, sexual assault.

So despite various body issues, I've never really liked the idea of cosmetics. But on St. Patty's my cis friend offered to let me try on her nail polish and I ended up really loving it. I'm tempted to get my own and start wearing it places to help me feel better about myself.

The thing is, even wearing a My Little Pony hat in the colder parts of winter has brought on threats and harassment from cis, straight males.

And what worries me even more is that I was sexually assaulted on the bus last week. I had my hand on the empty seat next to me (since the bus was half-empty and there was plenty of room for everyone) when a stranger sat on my hand while I was looking out the window. Then he grabbed my ass and ask me if I was a '(gay slur I'm sure you've all heard).'

Despite what I'd like to do, I'm terrified that I'd just be opening myself up to more harassment and assault.

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I really don't know what to say, so... *hug offer*

Gloves, perhaps? It would allow you to chose when you display you nail polish or not. (I have no idea what masculine gloves would be.)

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Originally Posted by golentan

So I got kicked pretty hard in the feels.

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Child Abuse

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Someone just linked me to a comic about a guy who was abused as a child and was worried about himself becoming an abuser. It had a good ending, but it hit me pretty hard. A lot, okay, pretty much all of my sexuality baggage is tied up around being abused as a child myself, and I really like kids. The idea of anyone taking a child's innocence, or hurting them, is one of my berserk buttons and at the top of a very short list of things that can provoke me to physical violence. But the whole "victim becomes the offender thing" is so prevalent, I've got a lot of angst about whether I'd be tempted to do that myself. I know I'd never do it, but it's still a source of doubt, so seeing someone else wrestling with the same fear knocked me right in my weak point. Even though it ended pointing out that that stereotype is false, it poked at one of my wounds.

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... *hug*

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Originally Posted by Asta Kask

ION, some happy news:

Spoiler: TW Suicide

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I no longer want to die. There's a strange feeling that's the lowest level of suicideal ideation - I want to die, but I don't feel like killing myself. It's more a sort of "wouldn't it be better for everyone if I had a heart attack" feeling. And I don't have that feeling anymore. Which is good.

Right? :smallsmile:

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Yay! :smallsmile: *hug*

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Originally Posted by Arkhosia

So what we're doing is waiting till I'm out of High School to start with HRT and other stuffs. Mainly due to not having much money to spend on this sort of thing currently.
Plan to talk about puberty depressants.

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That seems like a good plan.

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Originally Posted by Arkhosia

So what we're doing is waiting till I'm out of High School to start with HRT and other stuffs. Mainly due to not having much money to spend on this sort of thing currently.
Plan to talk about puberty depressants.

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There's puberty suppressants?!? Dangit! i feel like I missed out on something great... or.. at least something... I don't know, helpful for my current situation...

Gratz on the decision though, I'm surprised one can decide so quickly! I'd wish you luck, but you already seem to have it. Well, good luck anyways!

And congratulations on having such an understanding mother.



Personally, ill be back soon, just working up the courage to rant, as I find i listen to myself and what I want to say better when I'm talking to others... That is to say, Im also kinda hoping my commitment issues will make me realise that what i need to rant about is no issue, and I can just forget about it, and live on my life.

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Originally Posted by Lord Raziere

Which is why I don't read Cracked anymore. I don't even know what your talking about, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. and in case of Cracked I think for once is better for me to not go looking for trouble to rage about.

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You may be surprised, it was an article written by a trans women about trans women, with a nod to other trans folk. On the other hand, since it's about dispelling pervasive and harmful myths, you're probably already familiar with what she chose to talk about.

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Originally Posted by Enrico Dandolo

I really don't know what to say, so... *hug offer*

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I'll take it, and the cheesecake too. <3

*offers wing-hugs*

Same here. Though I also have a question! It sounds kinda mean to call you 'Evil', fishy to call you 'Roe' (:smalltongue:), and 'Slade', well... Supervillain, so perhaps not the best choice. Is there any good way of shortening your name to address you, or something you'd prefer to go by here?

If not, it's fine, obviously, it's just I wanted to check, because I wasn't sure how to adress you just now. *smiles*

~Raven

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Originally Posted by Astrella

My girlfriend helped me order some underwear, very little steps everytime, but I'm making progress I guess. :smallsmile:

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Yay progress!

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Originally Posted by Arkhosia

So what we're doing is waiting till I'm out of High School to start with HRT and other stuffs. Mainly due to not having much money to spend on this sort of thing currently.
Plan to talk about puberty depressants.

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Cool! Good luck on the blockers. It may be covered via Proframs. Not sure though. Months even sure where you live country-wise... XD

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Originally Posted by Lord Raziere

Which is why I don't read Cracked anymore. I don't even know what your talking about, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. and in case of Cracked I think for once is better for me to not go looking for trouble to rage about.

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Yeah. I'm actually with you there. It's basically an article listing things Kender and Astrella have talked about, but angrier and more swearing.

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Originally Posted by Lauren

*snrk*

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*Bows*

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...you put your uterus in, and you shake it all about...

Ew, self.

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... You do the hanky panky then you pop a baby out?
I know what's stuck in My head for the next six hours now.

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Originally Posted by Enrico Dandolo

Hi! :smallsmile: Here, take some cheesecake.

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Spoiler: ?

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http://www.ccad.edu/blog/wp-content/...cheesecake.jpg

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Gloves, perhaps? It would allow you to chose when you display you nail polish or not. (I have no idea what masculine gloves would be.)

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Or carry around some MALE POLISH!!! and assure people it's the most masculine thing EVER when they give you trouble. Also, stab them with the blunt MALE POLISH!!! container to drive home the point.

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Originally Posted by MuffinPuffin

There's puberty suppressants?!? Dangit! i feel like I missed out on something great... or.. at least something... I don't know, helpful for my current situation...

Gratz on the decision though, I'm surprised one can decide so quickly! I'd wish you luck, but you already seem to have it. Well, good luck anyways!

And congratulations on having such an understanding mother.



Personally, ill be back soon, just working up the courage to rant, as I find i listen to myself and what I want to say better when I'm talking to others... That is to say, Im also kinda hoping my commitment issues will make me realise that what i need to rant about is no issue, and I can just forget about it, and live on my life.

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We'll be here when you're ready. :)

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Originally Posted by Astrella

My girlfriend helped me order some underwear, very little steps everytime, but I'm making progress I guess. :smallsmile:

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Wait, you have a girlfriend now? Damn, it has been a while since we talked.

Raz: if you hover your mouse over the link you'll see it's about why it sucks to be trans, not making fun of trans people or anything. Nothing much new to people who've been talking about this stuff for a while, but I think it's the first article of its kind I've seen on there, and is probably informative to a lot of the readers.
I had a quick look at some of the comments (responded to one), and at the time I don't think they were *too* bad. I would never recommend going too deep in something like that, though.

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Originally Posted by Serpentine

Raz: if you hover your mouse over the link you'll see it's about why it sucks to be trans, not making fun of trans people or anything. Nothing much new to people who've been talking about this stuff for a while, but I think it's the first article of its kind I've seen on there, and is probably informative to a lot of the readers.
I had a quick look at some of the comments (responded to one), and at the time I don't think they were *too* bad. I would never recommend going too deep in something like that, though.

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No see, that is why I don't read it. I read Cracked too much and saw that it was too truthful and depressing not insulting or anything, just.... at a certain point I just couldn't read that site anymore. Couldn't stand its constant deluge of....Cracked being Cracked. not whether or not it was offensive or anything, because its not offensive. it means well I just....can't handle it anymore.

Oh, okay. Fair enough then.

Heading off to IPL in girl mode for the first time :smalleek:
Not sure this is the best idea, as I have to have stubble, but I really didn't want to dress guy, and my new haircut makes it hard to pass as male anyway. I'm wrapping a scarf round my face and hoping it's okay :/

You'll be fine, hon.

Something to cheer people up:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bcjLccknhA...rd_box-392.jpg

Eeee~ Got called miss at the subplace and again even after having talked. :smallsmile:

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Originally Posted by Serpentine

Wait, you have a girlfriend now? Damn, it has been a while since we talked.

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I think when we last talked I talk about fretting about asking her out and worrying about not being a good girlfriend?

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Originally Posted by Heliomance

Heading off to IPL in girl mode for the first time :smalleek:
Not sure this is the best idea, as I have to have stubble, but I really didn't want to dress guy, and my new haircut makes it hard to pass as male anyway. I'm wrapping a scarf round my face and hoping it's okay :/

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I'm sure it'll go fine. :smallsmile: (And, heh, at least you don't have to tape plastic wrap to your face for your sessions. :smalltongue: )

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Originally Posted by Asta Kask

I think we need pictures of you in a ballgown now.

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I checked, but I don't have any uploaded to the internet. But I will bear your request in mind. :smallwink:

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Originally Posted by Coidzor

Shamrock-flavored crisps? :smallconfused: And those were from Eire but napkins simply saying Happy St. Patrick's Day could only be obtained in the U.S.? Interesting.

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Well, I probably could have gotten some Patrick-themed napkins here if I wanted to, but it's not the kind of thing I'd bother with. The GREENGREENGREEN section of the shops that shows up in March is mostly for tourists and kids. Most Irish people I know, St Patrick's is not that big of a deal. You might go to the parade, some people would go to Mass, some people would be in a parade, you might make the effort to have a Guinness or some coddle or shamrock-flavoured crisps, for the day that's in it, but you wouldn't go mad.

And the crisps are shamrock and sour cream, and very nice! :smallbiggrin:

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Originally Posted by Asta Kask

ION, some happy news:

Spoiler: TW Suicide

Show

I no longer want to die. There's a strange feeling that's the lowest level of suicideal ideation - I want to die, but I don't feel like killing myself. It's more a sort of "wouldn't it be better for everyone if I had a heart attack" feeling. And I don't have that feeling anymore. Which is good.

Right? :smallsmile:

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That's great! :smallsmile: ((hugs))

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Originally Posted by EvilRoeSlade

Alright since my therapist hasn't replied to my E-mail yet, let me just see if you guys have any advice.

CW: Street harassment, sexual assault.

So despite various body issues, I've never really liked the idea of cosmetics. But on St. Patty's my cis friend offered to let me try on her nail polish and I ended up really loving it. I'm tempted to get my own and start wearing it places to help me feel better about myself.

The thing is, even wearing a My Little Pony hat in the colder parts of winter has brought on threats and harassment from cis, straight males.

And what worries me even more is that I was sexually assaulted on the bus last week. I had my hand on the empty seat next to me (since the bus was half-empty and there was plenty of room for everyone) when a stranger sat on my hand while I was looking out the window. Then he grabbed my ass and ask me if I was a '(gay slur I'm sure you've all heard).'

Despite what I'd like to do, I'm terrified that I'd just be opening myself up to more harassment and assault.

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I would go with subtle polish and/or gloves. It's horrible that people have harrassed you like that. Maybe there are areas where you feel safer? Could you talk to other LGBT+ people in your town?

Anyone else get the feeling that LGBTA locales should offer self-defense training? Although there are people who would take that as a clear sign that you're attempting an armed takeover.

I return from the dead, kinda. Been really really busy lately, namely with school. Now GED stuff, don't wanna go into that right now, but I'm kinda back around.

It wouldn't hurt for people to know how to protect themselves, and that knowledge alone may help them find a bit more courage to be themselves.

I think that would be the main effect. My understanding is that the first advice is still to run. But strengthening confidence is not a bad thing.

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Originally Posted by Heliomance

Heading off to IPL in girl mode for the first time :smalleek:
Not sure this is the best idea, as I have to have stubble, but I really didn't want to dress guy, and my new haircut makes it hard to pass as male anyway. I'm wrapping a scarf round my face and hoping it's okay :/

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If it makes you feel better, my wife (who is FAAB) has stubble because of a medical condition. Stubble =/= male.

...owwww

They used a different machine to normal. More intense. Hopefully it'll produce better results. But owwwwww.

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Originally Posted by Heliomance

...owwww

They used a different machine to normal. More intense. Hopefully it'll produce better results. But owwwwww.

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That stinks. But on the bright side, if anybody asks why you're groaning about being in pain, you can say you got shot in the face with a laser. How cool is that.

So I outed myself to the people I work with as bi (they asked if I had a girlfriend) and nobody cared. So yay.

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Originally Posted by Asta Kask

Anyone else get the feeling that LGBTA locales should offer self-defense training? Although there are people who would take that as a clear sign that you're attempting an armed takeover.

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Touchy topic. I brought it up before; the usual consensus is shifting the onus of defense to the queer folk is victim blaming.

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Originally Posted by Astrella

I think when we last talked I talk about fretting about asking her out and worrying about not being a good girlfriend?

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I do believe you were indeed. It worked out well, then :smallbiggrin:

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Originally Posted by SiuiS

Touchy topic. I brought it up before; the usual consensus is shifting the onus of defense to the queer folk is victim blaming.

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...what?

Being able to defend yourself is living with the sad reality that LGBTQ people are more likely to be attacked. I don't think that would be blaming the victims for an attack. That would be preparing the victims for an attack.

Re: Defense; I think the thing Siuis is referring to is people expecting that we should be able to defend ourselves, rather than try and fight societal bigotry so we don't have to.

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FYI, that video is basically non-stop transphobic slurs.

Mew, sorry, should I pull it down?

The warning should be fine, I think, unless it was insufficient for Zorg.

So this is pretty adorable.

Hard to be homophobic while hugging someone.