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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
Happy birthday, otakuryoga!
Wow, so many ponythreaders are older than me.
Hmm, good point. So maybe:
Also kinda unsure what "5 words" to use in my submission. EqD asks for that. In my previous submissions I used "Can a heartless pony live?" but with these changes I'm leaning towards something like "Can a pony fight destiny?"
Aye, that one makes more sense for me.
As for the five words, I'm not sure I can help you there, seeing how I haven't read the story in question. The second one does sound better to me, though.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
otakuryoga
Bwah-ha-ha-ha
Tremble before me Ponythread..as of today my age is = to The Answer and I now KNOW ALL!!
You're forty-two geez somepony give me a hand we need to take gramps over to the retirement home he's gone senile
(Oh and uhh happy b-day or whatever)
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
otakuryoga
Bwah-ha-ha-ha
Tremble before me Ponythread..as of today my age is = to The Answer and I now KNOW ALL!!
Really? You know all?
What is the terminal air speed velocity of an unladen swallow in mid-flight? :smallamused:
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Maxtronaut
Really? You know all?
What is the terminal air speed velocity of an unladen swallow in mid-flight? :smallamused:
African, or European? :smallbiggrin:
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
African, or European? :smallbiggrin:
Exactly. :smallbiggrin:
Also, hey Ponythread, any of you got a general guess as to how old Granny Smith is? :smallconfused:
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
Quick! I need opinions
I decided to take one last shot at getting my story featured on EqD. I've been scouring every chapter for punctuation errors for the past two days, and I'm going to submit it in a few hours so that hopefully it can get featured before season 3 airs.
I decided to also rewrite the description, because frankly it was rather weird. So, whether you've read my story or not, what do you think of this description?
Compared to the old one:
Does it make you interested or curious? Does it draw you in? If you've read the story so far, do you think it's fitting? Any improvements I can make?
The story is about Dash and written from her perspective so it seemed really silly that the old description mostly talks about Twilight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
So what if I reduce my description to just this (with optional bits in brackets)?
It leaves out a lot compared to the original, but it's short and sort of to the point, while also very vague and mysterious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
Hmm, good point. So maybe:
Also kinda unsure what "5 words" to use in my submission. EqD asks for that. In my previous submissions I used "Can a heartless pony live?" but with these changes I'm leaning towards something like "Can a pony fight destiny?"
I do like this latest one best. I haven't read any of your story however so I can't comment on how accurate it is. "Can a pony fight destiny?" is a much better 5 words then "Can a heartless pony live?"
Though I will say that the description makes the story seem very grimdark. Perhaps even more grimdark then Fillystrata was. And if I remember correctly you didn't want this story to be any more dark then Lord of the Rings.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
I just want to be vague and mysterious, because the story has a LOT of mystery and I don't want to ruin that mystery before people even read the first chapter. I want to draw them in, and then reveal the mysteries.
It's a delicate balance, but at least for me, too much (or the wrong kind) of vagueness is actually a significant turn-off. As a comparison, if someone summarized their story as "Stuff happens. But it's exciting stuff!", would that entice you?
Now, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find that I'm more sensitive to that kind of thing than the average person, but that's my take.
Also, the wording in the last version feels a bit clunky, although I'm not managing to come up with any specific suggestions for smoothing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Maxtronaut
Exactly. :smallbiggrin:
Also, hey Ponythread, any of you got a general guess as to how old Granny Smith is? :smallconfused:
"Old."
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Maxtronaut
Exactly. :smallbiggrin:
Also, hey Ponythread, any of you got a general guess as to how old Granny Smith is? :smallconfused:
Well, Granny Smith says that she helped to found Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle says that Ponyville was founded by earth ponies around 300 years ago. It's possible that Granny Smith is merely demented, though.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
Well, Granny Smith says that she helped to found Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle says that Ponyville was founded by earth ponies around 300 years ago. It's possible that Granny Smith is merely demented, though.
Twilight doesn't give a specific time period. She says "hundreds of years" instead.
I choose to conclude Twi was engaging in a bit of hyperbole... and a little bit of inadvertently retconning season 1. Kinda like how clearly Nitemare Night and Shining/Cadance were invented for Season 2.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Forum Explorer
Though I will say that the description makes the story seem very grimdark. Perhaps even more grimdark then Fillystrata was. And if I remember correctly you didn't want this story to be any more dark then Lord of the Rings.
I don't know ... that might be very subjective, I suppose.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kd7sov
It's a delicate balance, but at least for me, too much (or the wrong kind) of vagueness is actually a significant turn-off. As a comparison, if someone summarized their story as "Stuff happens. But it's exciting stuff!", would that entice you?
Now, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find that I'm more sensitive to that kind of thing than the average person, but that's my take.
Also, the wording in the last version feels a bit clunky, although I'm not managing to come up with any specific suggestions for smoothing it.
Well, of course, the description does have to tell you something. I just have to be careful not to ruin the mystery of the early chapters by giving away stuff from the later chapters in the description itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
Well, Granny Smith says that she helped to found Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle says that Ponyville was founded by earth ponies around 300 years ago. It's possible that Granny Smith is merely demented, though.
Or Twilight wasn't exactly clear on how old Ponyville is and just guessed, overshooting by a large amount. Or she was talking about a tradition that predates Ponyville itself, maybe referring to earth ponies in the region itself.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
otakuryoga
Bwah-ha-ha-ha
Tremble before me Ponythread..as of today my age is = to The Answer and I now KNOW ALL!!
~HAPPY BIRTHDAY!~
Please enjoy pony and cake. (large image)
Also.... 42? (also large image)
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Twilight's plot is totes the meaning of the universe. Although those books were terrible...
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tvtyrant
Twilight's plot is totes the meaning of the universe. Although those books were terrible...
Indeed. Respect the wisdom of dragonkind, Twilight.:smallbiggrin:
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
otakuryoga
Bwah-ha-ha-ha
Tremble before me Ponythread..as of today my age is = to The Answer and I now KNOW ALL!!
Happy Birthday!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
Also kinda unsure what "5 words" to use in my submission. EqD asks for that. In my previous submissions I used "Can a heartless pony live?" but with these changes I'm leaning towards something like "Can a pony fight destiny?"
My 2 cents. First, I like your shorter description, I think it's okay that it leaves out details, but I do agree that the Luna thing comes out of nowhere. The issue is that we don't know what Luna sacrificed for because she was on the receiving end of the elements. It makes it sound like there's some other thing that Luna did specific to this fanfiction, but if that's the case, a rephrase to something that indicates specifically that Luna has a special plan or something worth sacrificing for would make it flow better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Grif
My name isn't there. I think that's a good thing. Right?
Yep, it's a good thing. You're alive and on track to be my highest-ranked soldier.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Forum Explorer
I don't think you can name the pilots in the new X-com game. Right?
You can't. I can still dub one Pendell. Probably not the one that got shot down. He can be whichever one brings down the special UFO if I get that far.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sean Mirrsen
Heh, that seems like a wonderful game session right there. ^_^ Sign me up as a Sean "Jaguar" Mirrsen, any class as long as the trooper is Russian or thereabouts (Russian troops seem to be rare in my games, so a Ukrainian will do as well).
Oh good, I was running out of forum names and considering my casualty rate I just started defaulting to regular ponies because I didn't want to use anypony that hadn't given me permission. I think I have a couple Russians that could be you. I don't have any Brits for Bleakbane yet though, so he's still in reserve.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tiki Snakes
I for one would like to request a more detailed debreifing. :smallbiggrin:
Sure. OOC summary of my two really bad missions.
Spoiler
Show
I suffered two full squad wipes, the first being a terror mission, the second actually coming right after I made my crazy Twilight post, which was to 5 mutons and a cyberdisc. I actually am not sure which mission you died in, as I had several snipers. Based on the fact that you got a nickname, I'm thinking it was the later muton mission, but I'll tell you both.
What happened in the terror mission is that I advanced too slowly. I had some bad luck with the 45-65% range shots getting rid of 4 floaters, so it took me ~4 turns to get past them and be able to move up freely. By that time, ~4 civilians had died, and when I moved up, I tripped 3 chrysalids and 2 zombies. The zombies had already been made, and turned into more chrysalids on the next turn. This was the first terror mission and I didn't have any upgraded gear, just regular guns and weakest armor. The chrysalids scattered backwards and killed several more civilians, but it took me basically a whole turn just to kill the chrysalids one at a time. Eventually, I ended up getting swarmed by 5 chrysalids at once with another 3 coming in progressive stages and once soldiers started panicking after a squaddie went down, I couldn't do anything and they all died.
The second wipe was a regular abduction. I was in a parking lot with several cars and a building complex on the north end of the map. I had carapace armor and some laser weapons by this point, but the mutons had advanced to being armed with the best plasma rifles. I first triggered 3 mutons. I took 2 of them down with no trouble, but the third was at 1 hp and I wanted to capture it, so I let it run into one of the buildings and didn't chase it. In killing the first two, I had my best assault run and gun in and on the alien turn a cyberdisc came out. My sniper, who was probably you, Tiki, hit the cyberdisc and I thought I could kill it with the assault using double tap at point blank range. Instead I got minimum damage with both shots and left the disc at 2 hp. I still thought I could kill it with a grenade, but my heavy's furthest move left her in a square that was getting the grenade stuck on a building corner, and because of my mistake the cyberdisc lived. It 1-shot the assault at that range, and the still living muton came out from around a corner and also killed a rookie. At that point you sniped the muton and the heavy shot the disc dead, with my support cleaning up the robot arm that had survived the disc explosion. I thought the mission was going to be over, but instead two more mutons came around a corner and attacked me that turn. I had 3 squad members left and no explosives of any kind. I had you shoot one of the mutons, Tiki, and you hit it for 5 damage with your laser sniper, but also panicked from the intimidate. I shot and missed with 65% chances on both my heavy and my support. The next turn, the mutons shot and killed you Tiki, as your panic had made you run into half cover. That left me with two guys with laser weapons against a full hp muton and a half hp muton. The full hp muton was in the open and I had 65% or better hit chances with both guys, so I tried to kill it. No luck, one shot hit for 4 the other missed, the mutons killed the heavy in return fire. I tried to finish the muton with the support from high cover, now with 65% chance to hit. No luck, both mutons fired, support went down, mission over. Having the heavy be unable to throw that one grenade pretty much wrecked the whole mission, and it was simply me not realizing that a grenade throw would get stuck on the building corner from the spot I moved to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Diego Havoc
Wow. Did they drop the rocket accuracy in classic? I only missed once during my whole normal game, and that's with two heavies on my team.
:_: i didn't get a nickname.
Although my two squad wipes are detailed above, several close calls and rookie deaths are the results of 90% chances failing. I missed a 90% capture chance twice in a row on a floater, though that one didn't lead to any casualties. And I'm sorry you didn't get a nickname. :smallfrown: I can make a Diego Havoc II if you want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SlyGuyMcFly
It's 90%, but the RNG being what it is...
I didn't even make it past Squaddie. :smallfrown:
You were whichever sniper wasn't Tiki in the squad wipes detailed above. And as with Diego, if you want Sylvestor "Sly guy" McFly II, I can make him for you.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
What would we expect from Season 3, other than Crystal Ponies?
Spoiler
Show
- Cadance's pregnancy and coming of Shining Armor's fatherhood.
- More Adventure?
- Cutie Mark Crusaders, the end or the continuation?
- More Mental Breakdowns?
- Ponies (Re)colonization of the moon (New Smith Farm)?
P.S- Am I feeling that Pony Tribes were more like the Roman's definition of tribes, which is more like geographic region that a tribune members represents.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
I don't know ... that might be very subjective, I suppose.
Well here's how I read it:
Rainbow Dash is dying and the only cure is breaking up the Mane 6's friendship.
Yeah I can't see that being anything other then dark and sad with a large potential to go straight into Grimdark.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
My bad
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tvtyrant
Although those books were terrible...
Wait a sec... *casts Reveal Hidden Text*
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tvtyrant
Although those books were terrible...
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc83qp8i011r2eaa6.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
Although my two squad wipes are detailed above, several close calls and rookie deaths are the results of 90% chances failing. I missed a 90% capture chance twice in a row on a floater, though that one didn't lead to any casualties. And I'm sorry you didn't get a nickname. :smallfrown: I can make a Diego Havoc II if you want.
I wouldn't mind another shot. :smallsmile:
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
My 2 cents. First, I like your shorter description, I think it's okay that it leaves out details, but I do agree that the Luna thing comes out of nowhere. The issue is that we don't know what Luna sacrificed for because she was on the receiving end of the elements. It makes it sound like there's some other thing that Luna did specific to this fanfiction, but if that's the case, a rephrase to something that indicates specifically that Luna has a special plan or something worth sacrificing for would make it flow better.
Yeah, the Luna thing is going.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Forum Explorer
Well here's how I read it:
Rainbow Dash is dying and the only cure is breaking up the Mane 6's friendship.
Yeah I can't see that being anything other then dark and sad with a large potential to go straight into Grimdark.
It's dark, yes, and potentially very sad, depending on how it ends (which naturally I'm not revealing :smalltongue:), but I don't see that it would be any darker than LotR or Harry Potter, both of which have their dark moments.
She's facing a very dark future, there doesn't seem to be much hope, any moment she could die and/or lose everything ... seems almost like a description of LotR right there :smallsmile:
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
t209
What would we expect from Season 3, other than Crystal Ponies?
Spoiler
Show
- Cadance's pregnancy and coming of Shining Armor's fatherhood.
- More Adventure?
- Cutie Mark Crusaders, the end or the continuation?
- More Mental Breakdowns?
- Ponies (Re)colonization of the moon (New Smith Farm)?
P.S- Am I feeling that Pony Tribes were more like the Roman's definition of tribes, which is more like geographic region that a tribune members represents.
I wouldn't expect too much, we only have 13 episodes to work with, remember. I just want a Scootaloo episode and I'll be happy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Forum Explorer
Well here's how I read it:
Rainbow Dash is dying and the only cure is breaking up the Mane 6's friendship.
Yeah I can't see that being anything other then dark and sad with a large potential to go straight into Grimdark.
That is indeed a very dark description, undermined by the fact that I heard your take in Christopher Walken's voice and it ended with 'more cowbell' instead of the friendship thing.
Also, I'm on EQD now! It's exciting, but at the same time a corner of my mind is like "Really? THAT story is the one that made it onto EQD?" I know Duel Nature would never make it past the pre-readers even if it is my most popular story, but in full honesty the story that holds a special place in my heart is still Writing is Hard.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
It's dark, yes, and potentially very sad, depending on how it ends (which naturally I'm not revealing :smalltongue:), but I don't see that it would be any darker than LotR or Harry Potter, both of which have their dark moments.
She's facing a very dark future, there doesn't seem to be much hope, any moment she could die and/or lose everything ... seems almost like a description of LotR right there :smallsmile:
I think there's a bit of a difference. In LotR, they suffer and the world looks bleak, but at some level you always know they're going to destroy that ring. From the moment of the pledge at the Council of Elrond, that strength and that purpose drive the story.
Now, I haven't read your story, but I think that a lot of dark pony fanfiction, in general tends to spend more time reveling in the suffering. Readers get upset because the ponies are in such a happy world and many authors seem to delight in making them suffer and be miserable, and there's always the possibility of a story having a Hamlet style ending. So people get a little antsy when they see a fanfic labeled dark because it doesn't have that sense of pervading hope that keeps your head up when you're reading LotR.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
Sure. OOC summary of my two really bad missions.
Spoiler
Show
I suffered two full squad wipes, the first being a terror mission, the second actually coming right after I made my crazy Twilight post, which was to 5 mutons and a cyberdisc. I actually am not sure which mission you died in, as I had several snipers. Based on the fact that you got a nickname, I'm thinking it was the later muton mission, but I'll tell you both.
What happened in the terror mission is that I advanced too slowly. I had some bad luck with the 45-65% range shots getting rid of 4 floaters, so it took me ~4 turns to get past them and be able to move up freely. By that time, ~4 civilians had died, and when I moved up, I tripped 3 chrysalids and 2 zombies. The zombies had already been made, and turned into more chrysalids on the next turn. This was the first terror mission and I didn't have any upgraded gear, just regular guns and weakest armor. The chrysalids scattered backwards and killed several more civilians, but it took me basically a whole turn just to kill the chrysalids one at a time. Eventually, I ended up getting swarmed by 5 chrysalids at once with another 3 coming in progressive stages and once soldiers started panicking after a squaddie went down, I couldn't do anything and they all died.
The second wipe was a regular abduction. I was in a parking lot with several cars and a building complex on the north end of the map. I had carapace armor and some laser weapons by this point, but the mutons had advanced to being armed with the best plasma rifles. I first triggered 3 mutons. I took 2 of them down with no trouble, but the third was at 1 hp and I wanted to capture it, so I let it run into one of the buildings and didn't chase it. In killing the first two, I had my best assault run and gun in and on the alien turn a cyberdisc came out. My sniper, who was probably you, Tiki, hit the cyberdisc and I thought I could kill it with the assault using double tap at point blank range. Instead I got minimum damage with both shots and left the disc at 2 hp. I still thought I could kill it with a grenade, but my heavy's furthest move left her in a square that was getting the grenade stuck on a building corner, and because of my mistake the cyberdisc lived. It 1-shot the assault at that range, and the still living muton came out from around a corner and also killed a rookie. At that point you sniped the muton and the heavy shot the disc dead, with my support cleaning up the robot arm that had survived the disc explosion. I thought the mission was going to be over, but instead two more mutons came around a corner and attacked me that turn. I had 3 squad members left and no explosives of any kind. I had you shoot one of the mutons, Tiki, and you hit it for 5 damage with your laser sniper, but also panicked from the intimidate. I shot and missed with 65% chances on both my heavy and my support. The next turn, the mutons shot and killed you Tiki, as your panic had made you run into half cover. That left me with two guys with laser weapons against a full hp muton and a half hp muton. The full hp muton was in the open and I had 65% or better hit chances with both guys, so I tried to kill it. No luck, one shot hit for 4 the other missed, the mutons killed the heavy in return fire. I tried to finish the muton with the support from high cover, now with 65% chance to hit. No luck, both mutons fired, support went down, mission over. Having the heavy be unable to throw that one grenade pretty much wrecked the whole mission, and it was simply me not realizing that a grenade throw would get stuck on the building corner from the spot I moved to.
Although my two squad wipes are detailed above, several close calls and rookie deaths are the results of 90% chances failing. I missed a 90% capture chance twice in a row on a floater, though that one didn't lead to any casualties. And I'm sorry you didn't get a nickname. :smallfrown: I can make a Diego Havoc II if you want.
You were whichever sniper wasn't Tiki in the squad wipes detailed above. And as with Diego, if you want Sylvestor "Sly guy" McFly II, I can make him for you.
Okay, that was darkly amusing enough. :smallsmile:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Diego Havoc
I wouldn't mind another shot. :smallsmile:
Whilst I don't dissaprove of this, I'll pass myself. Sgt Tiki "Hex" Snakes is dead, and as such unavailable on this playthrough.
If you are getting that low on available names for former Thanqol's, perhaps you should consider drafting OC's?
Spoiler
Show
Pre-approved for recruitment;
The Ponithid
Bleakmane*
Robo Ponithid
*As a Space Vampire, Bleakmane can be re-recruited after her horrific but potentially honourable death.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
I think there's a bit of a difference. In LotR, they suffer and the world looks bleak, but at some level you always know they're going to destroy that ring. From the moment of the pledge at the Council of Elrond, that strength and that purpose drive the story.
Now, I haven't read your story, but I think that a lot of dark pony fanfiction, in general tends to spend more time reveling in the suffering. Readers get upset because the ponies are in such a happy world and many authors seem to delight in making them suffer and be miserable, and there's always the possibility of a story having a Hamlet style ending. So people get a little antsy when they see a fanfic labeled dark because it doesn't have that sense of pervading hope that keeps your head up when you're reading LotR.
I know, I know ... and I like to think my story is actually very hopeful, despite the darkness. Yes, things look bleak, but the characters aren't giving up and I certainly hope the readers don't feel like it's definitely going to end only in tears and despair. Somehow there might be a happy ending, or at least a bittersweet ending, that's what I want readers to think.
I suppose the description could be read very bleakly, like there's no hope at all, ever, but I'd never write a (serious) story where there's no hope at all, ever.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
otakuryoga
Bwah-ha-ha-ha
Tremble before me Ponythread..as of today my age is = to The Answer and I now KNOW ALL!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aotrs Commander
S'what I'd do...!
I actually did - well, not a changeling, but you get the idea - one undercover mission a few years back, chief. I gotta tell you, skinning 'em right is way harder than you'd think! The look on the guy's face when I revealed myself, though...! Totally worth it! Still makes me laugh now...
...Does doppleganger/changeling/etc skin work as camo? I need to experiment with this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Balmas
Well, Granny Smith says that she helped to found Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle says that Ponyville was founded by earth ponies around 300 years ago. It's possible that Granny Smith is merely demented, though.
Really? When's she mention that? I can't remember an episode where Twilight actually mentions how old Ponyville itself is... :smallconfused:
Also ohgodmyheart.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tiki Snakes
If you are getting that low on available names for former Thanqol's, perhaps you should consider drafting OC's?
Spoiler
Show
Pre-approved for recruitment;
The Ponithid
Bleakmane*
Robo Ponithid
*As a Space Vampire, Bleakmane can be re-recruited after her horrific but potentially honourable death.
Sure, I'll use some of those. There are plenty of other ponythreaders. I haven't used Deadly, Lix, or Bleakbane yet (Bleakbane I'm waiting for a British soldier), not to mention Alabenson, Eakin, t209, Tvtyrant...I'm going to stop since all I'm doing at this point is scrolling back through this page. But as I said, since I'm killing people off, I'm not comfortable using a name without permission.
Edit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Deadly
I know, I know ... and I like to think my story is actually very hopeful, despite the darkness. Yes, things look bleak, but the characters aren't giving up and I certainly hope the readers don't feel like it's definitely going to end only in tears and despair. Somehow there might be a happy ending, or at least a bittersweet ending, that's what I want readers to think.
I suppose the description could be read very bleakly, like there's no hope at all, ever, but I'd never write a (serious) story where there's no hope at all, ever.
What about a description that asks a "how" question? Again, I haven't read your story, but something like "When Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are forced to convince their friends to give up their friendship, how will they find a way to conquer [insert problem]?"
When you ask the question "how are they going to overcome the problem?" you've pretty much guaranteed to the reader that they will overcome it.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Found this, thought I could share my nightmares.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
H
Oh good, I was running out of forum names and considering my casualty rate I just started defaulting to regular ponies because I didn't want to use anypony that hadn't given me permission. I think I have a couple Russians that could be you. I don't have any Brits for Bleakbane yet though, so he's still in reserve.
Sure. OOC summary of my two really bad missions.
Spoiler
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I suffered two full squad wipes, the first being a terror mission, the second actually coming right after I made my crazy Twilight post, which was to 5 mutons and a cyberdisc. I actually am not sure which mission you died in, as I had several snipers. Based on the fact that you got a nickname, I'm thinking it was the later muton mission, but I'll tell you both.
What happened in the terror mission is that I advanced too slowly. I had some bad luck with the 45-65% range shots getting rid of 4 floaters, so it took me ~4 turns to get past them and be able to move up freely. By that time, ~4 civilians had died, and when I moved up, I tripped 3 chrysalids and 2 zombies. The zombies had already been made, and turned into more chrysalids on the next turn. This was the first terror mission and I didn't have any upgraded gear, just regular guns and weakest armor. The chrysalids scattered backwards and killed several more civilians, but it took me basically a whole turn just to kill the chrysalids one at a time. Eventually, I ended up getting swarmed by 5 chrysalids at once with another 3 coming in progressive stages and once soldiers started panicking after a squaddie went down, I couldn't do anything and they all died.
The second wipe was a regular abduction. I was in a parking lot with several cars and a building complex on the north end of the map. I had carapace armor and some laser weapons by this point, but the mutons had advanced to being armed with the best plasma rifles. I first triggered 3 mutons. I took 2 of them down with no trouble, but the third was at 1 hp and I wanted to capture it, so I let it run into one of the buildings and didn't chase it. In killing the first two, I had my best assault run and gun in and on the alien turn a cyberdisc came out. My sniper, who was probably you, Tiki, hit the cyberdisc and I thought I could kill it with the assault using double tap at point blank range. Instead I got minimum damage with both shots and left the disc at 2 hp. I still thought I could kill it with a grenade, but my heavy's furthest move left her in a square that was getting the grenade stuck on a building corner, and because of my mistake the cyberdisc lived. It 1-shot the assault at that range, and the still living muton came out from around a corner and also killed a rookie. At that point you sniped the muton and the heavy shot the disc dead, with my support cleaning up the robot arm that had survived the disc explosion. I thought the mission was going to be over, but instead two more mutons came around a corner and attacked me that turn. I had 3 squad members left and no explosives of any kind. I had you shoot one of the mutons, Tiki, and you hit it for 5 damage with your laser sniper, but also panicked from the intimidate. I shot and missed with 65% chances on both my heavy and my support. The next turn, the mutons shot and killed you Tiki, as your panic had made you run into half cover. That left me with two guys with laser weapons against a full hp muton and a half hp muton. The full hp muton was in the open and I had 65% or better hit chances with both guys, so I tried to kill it. No luck, one shot hit for 4 the other missed, the mutons killed the heavy in return fire. I tried to finish the muton with the support from high cover, now with 65% chance to hit. No luck, both mutons fired, support went down, mission over. Having the heavy be unable to throw that one grenade pretty much wrecked the whole mission, and it was simply me not realizing that a grenade throw would get stuck on the building corner from the spot I moved to.
Although my two squad wipes are detailed above, several close calls and rookie deaths are the results of 90% chances failing. I missed a 90% capture chance twice in a row on a floater, though that one didn't lead to any casualties. And I'm sorry you didn't get a nickname. :smallfrown: I can make a Diego Havoc II if you want.
You were whichever sniper wasn't Tiki in the squad wipes detailed above. And as with Diego, if you want Sylvestor "Sly guy" McFly II, I can make him for you.
Hey if we have an OC recruitment going then feel free to use some of mine.
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Thinking Cap: (Assault please)
Paradox (Support)
Clear Thought (Support)
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Originally Posted by
Deadly
Yeah, the Luna thing is going.
It's dark, yes, and potentially very sad, depending on how it ends (which naturally I'm not revealing :smalltongue:), but I don't see that it would be any darker than LotR or Harry Potter, both of which have their dark moments.
She's facing a very dark future, there doesn't seem to be much hope, any moment she could die and/or lose everything ... seems almost like a description of LotR right there :smallsmile:
Sure that may or may not be true but I'm just going to point out that I don't get that impression at all from your description.
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Originally Posted by
Pokonic
Found this, thought I could share my nightmares.
That picture is actually really really cool.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
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Originally Posted by
Anarion
Sure, I'll use some of those. There are plenty of other ponythreaders. I haven't used Deadly, Lix, or Bleakbane yet (Bleakbane I'm waiting for a British soldier), not to mention Alabenson, Eakin, t209, Tvtyrant...I'm going to stop since all I'm doing at this point is scrolling back through this page. But as I said, since I'm killing people off, I'm not comfortable using a name without permission.
Huh ... haven't been following this. What's this about?
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Originally Posted by
Anarion
What about a description that asks a "how" question? Again, I haven't read your story, but something like "When Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle are forced to convince their friends to give up their friendship, how will they find a way to conquer [insert problem]?"
When you ask the question "how are they going to overcome the problem?" you've pretty much guaranteed to the reader that they will overcome it.
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Originally Posted by
Forum Explorer
Sure that may or may not be true but I'm just going to point out that I don't get that impression at all from your description.
Alright ... how about
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When Rainbow Dash called for help on her dying breath, she never imagined she would be rescued twice at once. Now she is neither dead or alive, and she definitely doesn't remember wearing all six Elements ...
Rainbow Dash is divided, and she doesn't have much time. To save herself and her friends she may have to convince them to give up the Magic of Friendship, or she can fight ... but how does one fight destiny?
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
Sure, I'll use some of those. There are plenty of other ponythreaders. I haven't used Deadly, Lix, or Bleakbane yet (Bleakbane I'm waiting for a British soldier), not to mention Alabenson, Eakin, t209, Tvtyrant...I'm going to stop since all I'm doing at this point is scrolling back through this page. But as I said, since I'm killing people off, I'm not comfortable using a name without permission.
There are a lot of Ponythreaders :smallsmile:
You have permission to use my name. Just have him/me die a good death!
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
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Originally Posted by
Deadly
Huh ... haven't been following this. What's this about?
I like the new description. :smallsmile:
I'm playing a game of X-com (the turn-based game where you fight an alien invasion) using the names of posters here in ponythread for my soldiers. It's on classic ironman, which is a hard difficulty that doesn't let you take back any mistakes. So I've killed off a good chunk of the thread, but we're still going.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tvtyrant
There are a lot of Ponythreaders :smallsmile:
You have permission to use my name. Just have him/me die a good death!
Duly noted. Thank you.
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Re: Ponythread LV:55 Ponythread learns Agility!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anarion
I like the new description. :smallsmile:
I'm playing a game of X-com (the turn-based game where you fight an alien invasion) using the names of posters here in ponythread for my soldiers. It's on classic ironman, which is a hard difficulty that doesn't let you take back any mistakes. So I've killed off a good chunk of the thread, but we're still going.
Yay! :smallbiggrin:
And Deadly is always up for dying, especially if it's grisly and over the top. So you have my permission to go nuts :smallcool: