Out of morbid curiosity, Pay and benefits?
XoXo Blondie
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Purple-text, you can find the Cthulhu Mythos in any library.
Finding an unabridged copy of the Necronomicon can be difficult. Philip Memorial Library has one, however. In fact We highly recommend spending time in that wonderful place of learning if you want to expand your horizons beyond your own insignificant mote of perception into the uncaring vastness of the Cosmos.
This is an intern position and as such you'll gain valuable experience as the meat puppet of an Old One (that's Us), perfect for a bright future as a deranged cultist, mad sorcerer, or insane alienist! A stipend will be provided so your fragile material body doesn't waste away over the duration of your internship.
Galapagos Finches are preferred, though not required.
We look forward to reviewing your applications.
<3 K'rax-Naggath
Sounds perfect to me! I'm going to head over to the library then, and I'll send in my application as soon as I can get my hands on a finch.
Written sideways beside the large block of NO text
Umm, so regarding that whole adventurer licence thingy. Just a few questions, if any of these were answered already in your big spiel over there just humor me and answer as plainly as possible.
. First- How is getting licenced by you guys different from becoming a member of the group?
. .Number two- Is there a test involved like for a drivers licence?
. . .Third- Would I be able to take jobs that are not ok'd by you?
. . . .htruof- Is there a hight requirement?
_____ Finally: Where do I sign up? and How d-
Seems the chalk broke before the end of the last question.
To answer your questions:
- Not being an NO member means you don't get access to exclusive NO contracts. Also, NO members are going to supervise the entire mercenary network and certification process. This is why NO recruitment is now closed, as we need to re-work the whole thing.
- There's a basic test of competence and a background check. Then your name gets filed in.
- You can take any jobs, so long as they obey our regulations. That is, they're not involved with slavers or AMEN terrorists. Further restrictions may be added later.
- Height requirement? Obviously not. You do realize the head of NO (that is to say, myself) is a goblin.
- In our Inside office, Riverside office or the NO base itself.
K'rax-Naggath wanting an avatar? What happened to Zee? I thought she was that entity's avatar in the Nexus.
Heheheh. I wish we kept her torn up corpse. Maybe I'll go back to her grave later and keep her head as a war trophy. Heh.
There's a note scribbled just a bit to the right of this.
Because, as everyone knows, there is absolutely nothing more neutral than taking sides, or singling out a party you don't like for persecution. Duh.
Also, it isn't relative morality if one is imposing a set of values on a community that does not necessarily share those values. In fact, it's the polar opposite. In many cultures, keeping slaves is an acceptable activity, but obviously you don't care about that because you've placed a blanket ban.
Your vaunted neutrality is a joke, Goblin, and you know it.
~ The Heart of Iniquity
Well, then. You're responsible? I'll be mounting your brainstem on my wall shortly.
Laaaaaaaame. This is the wall not a college bulletin board. Don't offer internships. Cash, jewels, something, worthwhile.
XoXo Blondie
I've always been more of a scavenger than a merc, but this entire thing strikes me as super meh, on one hand union's are important and useful in this sort of thing, that protection thing especially, but a union run by a mercenary band should make anyone wonder exactly where union dues go.
My advice to those signing up, learn where your money goes, demand NO's receipts, and demand voting rights. I can not stress that last one enough. People run the system, not the other way around.
I see NOZING. I vas not here. I did not even get up zis morning!
XoXo Sgt Schultz
Ah, but now you hide behind false assertions. There are many bands of disciplined, well-organized slavers in existence, not just the stereotypical demons and gnolls running around causing problems and wreaking havoc. They are indeed quite professional; I prefer working with individuals who have some idea what they're doing.
Similarly, while I'll concede that many members of AMEN are juvenile and amateur at best, there are plenty of others who are fairly civilized, competent, and take professional pride in their work. In spite of this, your general rule against individuals with association with AMEN precludes even mercenaries who have been, say, contracted by Magtok, at any point, ever.
Your attempt to justify an imposition of personal morality as "Professional Standards" falls apart with anything more than a fleeting inspection.
~ The Heart of Iniquity
Exactly. See, Mr. Dipsnig, you've met me before. A long time ago, but you've met me. I am completed disgusted and disappointed in your... Fall into commercialism. To monopolize the mercenary business. As a neutral organization, you straddle the line between good and bad. This is... This is making money, only. Your political prejudice to AMEN shows that you are happy to break your own companies rule of neutrality. So what is your organization in the end? Neutral as long as you find it beneficial to your own obese paycheck? Scum. I am an AMENite, and proud. But I am a Captain. A civilized, military gentlemen. I stand FIRMLY by what I believe in. You change your morals to whatever makes you the most money. You should be ashamed.
Based on data gathered from various sources by Evolution Industries representatives, there is a near one hundred percent probability that associating with the organization designated 'AMEN' will result in a massive popularity drop among potential customers.
Data was gathered primarily from residents of Inside and Riverside. Study reveals that AMEN has engaged in terrorist actions against both cities, including a massive assault immediately after the Imperial Vanishing and the recent plague. Information suggests that their claims related to the latter are-OVERRIDING
Bull****.
Override over. It can be inferred that working with AMEN is an inappropriate business decision, likely to result in bankruptcy or destruction, with the possible exception of the entity designated 'Magtok'. This unusual exception is likely only partial at best, given the political opinions of the political figure designated 'Vyrn Altaran' and recent activity against Magtok by the organization designated 'Excelsior'.
The official Evolution Industries policy is to refuse business to anyone known to work with AMEN. Evolution Industries encourages other businesses to do the same, as it is morally wrong and will almost certainly have poor effects on business in the long term. OVERRIDING
What the robot here means to say is, working with AMEN is about the stupidest thing you can do as a business. Or anyone else, really, but that's beside the point. I applaud Mister Razortooth's sense in refusing to associate with these scum. And I just want to add that watching AMENites of all people moralize is hilarious. Seriously, what? No one's going to listen to you, and the most you can possibly get is them pretending to so you don't start hitting them with more terrorist attacks.
It's either really stupid of NO to be called Neutral when it's not, or really stupid of AMEN to have pissed off even the neutral dudes. Take your pick.
"So, let's say that all of this anti-AMEN backlash caused a few members..."
"a few extremely handsome members"
"... to rethink their membership. And let's say these incredibly good-looking individuals decided to make their own faction known as... um..."
"YAY MEN!"
"Oooh, nice!"
"I thought so too."
"So would NO, or EI, or any other potential AMEN boycotters be willing to do business with this sexy new organization called YAY MEN! that would be totally independent of AMEN and not at all just a transparent ploy to avoid accountability?"
Both. The answer is both, light blue text. We all deserve to die. It's a known fact. Everyone in existence here, has done evil things. Everyone. It is a cruel world... And a crueler afterlife. It's a world where the dog eats the dog, my friend. AMEN is merely ensuring that it's going to be the dog on top. Lives were lost on all sides so far in this plague and war. AMEN is securing it's place in history, and doing great things! I don't see HALO or GLoG changing the world.
I will moralize with you, businessman. You don't know what it's like to have nothing, to own nothing. To live as anything less than a rich and powerful ruler. Your words should be true and correct. But think about it... AMEN is staying in charge, and keeping itself running. We are changing the world. We have decided to make a world where those who aid us shall be on top, cruel and selfish... Yes. But not everyone can be happy and powerful. It's impossible. We will not involve ourselves in this... Monopolization of the power and riches of The Nexus. I at least won't.
Basically... Not everyone can share in riches. We take what we want, for that is the true way of life. There is no such thing as world happiness.
Hey, guess what, dark blue ****-for-brains?
I can think of four people, at least, off the top of my head who defintely deserve to live, period, not even counting me, and a whole lot more who still don't deserve to die. I can also count one stupid bastard who wants to take from others and be top dog, then whines about somebody else trying to put their foot down on things.
By the way, you being a rich and powerful ruler? So not gonna happen.
Also, Dark Blue is definitely not invited to join YAY MEN! due to crimes against hygiene. :smallyuk:
Seaweed, technically. And there is no need to be insulting. T certainly shows a certain lack of civility.
Four people, who? Who? All creation has sinned, all sentient creation. There is no way to avoid it. The seed of evil lies buried in all of us, growing... Silently, secretly, slowly. But it's there. I will take things from the weaker. It's natural. Somewhat like a food chain. The bigger, stronger, wiser... Less morally-hindered ones are always on top. With the good people at the bottom.
I was not talking about myself. I am a Captain of my ship, and loyal AMENite. I was directing that remark to Vyrn.
Yeah, I know who you were talking about. And also who you're jealous of, seaweed brain.