Devotee of Keala Mensha Khaine.

Okay, despite being a complete begginer (I play mostly warhammer 40k, Necrons. Dance! Dance to the song of my Gauss Cannon!) I have decided to make my own base character class. A base character class, I might add, that includes backstory, a completely new deity, and I'm certain is not balanced.

The thing is, inexperianced as I am, I cannot quite tell why it is not balanced, so I need some help on that front. I'm pessimistically thinking some major editing will be required, so if it is then the Altered Body and Shadow Arts are the two 'core' abilities, and should remain mostly unchanged. The individual Shadow Arts are open to editting, so long as the basic idea is kept.

Shadow Servant of Khaine.

Keala Mensha Khaine, the Bloody-Handed god, supposedly forgotten, and kept alive only by certain artifacts and decrepit temples. This is public opinion, and taken as fact, the Elf-deity of Blood, Shadow and Butchery greatly believed to be almost dead.

What fools the people of the world are.

Khaine is very much alive, with cults venerating Him the world over, offering vile blood-sacrifices, and consecrating armies in His name. Khaines gaze spreads wiser than most dare to think, and most major cities practice discreet dedications to Him, the officials turning a blind eye for fear of their lives. Khaine is not necessarily an evil deity, though it can appear as such, merely truthful. A war-deity, Khaine takes as his domain both sides of battle, the heroism, courage and valour, but also the dark, murdering side of it, the innocent blood spilled in the name of tyrants, and the battles of great champions of light.

Khaine also claims dominion of the assassins art, the shadowed knife, and the creeping slayer, some of his greatest servants have never even been seen to kill. Khaine is generally seen as a great giant clad in red burning armour inscribed with runes of hatred and battle, and wielding a pair of long two-handed swords that hum with raw power. His hands ooze blood constantly, and He inspires hatred and fearlessness in those around Him, spurring even cowardly slaves on to great acts of courage and skill.

But He is not just a deity of heroism. He has a darker side, His rituals and dedications often require sacrifice, usually blood, sometimes a few drops will suffice, sometimes dozens of people will be placed in a circle and their throats cut to bleed out in supplication to Him.

And there are other rituals too, sometimes, whole towns are devoted entirely to Khaine, such places are well hidden, and few would wish to enter, for the screams of the ghostly dead fill the area, and the air is thick with the scent of blood. Such places will often ‘celebrate’ the Day of Blood, or Death Night, a time of murder and death, where law has no bearing, and only be force of arms can you retain your life, home and belongings, even your offspring are considered fair game, and by law no vengeance can be made for acts made on this night. It is a time of chaos, when families will band together to defend what is theirs, and blurring doom stalks the streets.

Temples of Khaine are generally not decrepit just… Shifted, the constant rituals of blood weakens the walls of reality in such places, allowing servants to shift themselves slightly sideways, leaving and returning to the physical world at will to perform their arts. A difficult trick, it can take decades to master, and is physically exhausting.

And then there are the Shadow Servants, cloaked figures of frailty, but immense agility. These night-borne figures are taken from their homes at birth, and subjected to brutal training, with arcane forces altering their bodies to frightening degrees. Most do not survive, those who do, are killers with few equals. Emotionless, lightning-quick, precise, and silent, they can topple empires, given time. Unlike the more ‘normal’ Assassins though, when given a target, it will often not be a single person or creature, but entire buildings, sometimes whole villages. In these situations, morality does not exist, they simply fulfill the single purpose they were created to fulfill.

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Adventurers: Khainite Assassins often experience memory troubles due to their training as their altered minds reassert themselves over their warped bodies. This is generally seen as a rite of passage by the Elders, those who cannot adapt die off, and those who can regain their formidable skills over time, as ingrained instincts come to the fore. A Khainite Assassin might be one of these people, cursed with a partial memory and wandering blindly, or perhaps they are a temple adept, weaving a path through the world to bring back something as proof of their worth to their trainers.

Characteristics: Khainite Assassins are incredibly quick, and lack several emotions such as pain and fear, allowing them to fight with a clear head. They often try to keep their enemies at a distance, darting in to land a few quick strikes, then flashing away in a blur of augmented flesh. They tend to struggle with skills based around resilience or charisma, lacking both, but excel at feats of speed and agility, outclassing most all. They are generally taller than others of the same race, some by only a few inches, some by whole feet. Elves seem to be the most stable in this regard, and generally grow to six feet after the bodily alterations.

Alignment: Khainite Assassins cannot be of Lawful alignment, but otherwise are given free rein over their moral compass. Good Khainites often believe that the corrupt will safeguard themselves, and work to topple those the law cannot touch, bringing the truly despicable screaming into the light of justice. Neutral Khainites believe in the overpowering randomness of the universe, slaying simply for Khaine, in all His works and domains, and are most common. Evil Khainites are cold-hearted butchers, caring nothing for who the target is, generally simply killing for the sake of killing, revelling in the power of inflicting death ‘pon others.

Religion: Unsurprisingly, Khaine is the only deity these beings may worship, and their minds are altered to eliminate all thought of another deity. They live for Khaine, and none other.

Background: The dubious honour of becoming a Shadow Servant of Khaine, is not one made by choice, or easily. An adolescent or adult body is not malleable enough to accept the changes to their body, and their minds are too set to be altered so extensively. As such, only newborn children are at risk from capture. This somewhat limits the diversity of their origin, but all react differently to the training. A Shadow Servant in possession of a full memory will usually see others of their kind as kindred of some sort, perhaps even siblings, and generally think of themselves as entirely another race.

Races: Khaine is an Elf-deity, and as such the children brought to the temples are usually Elfish in nature, though others may end up joining. Humans are generally too short-lived to last the long training times, which sometimes last in excess of fifty years, and dwarves are far too stocky. Half-orcs are strong however, and this muscle-power translates itself well to great speed and jumping ability, Gnomes and Halflings make good Shadow Servants, small size, agility and endurance combining for a potent combinations. Half-Elves are sometimes taken, though rarely as their diplomatic temperament is something of an affront to Khaine.

Other Classes: Khaine is a focussed deity, and as such diverting from the path of His service is frowned on somewhat, yet it does happen, as versatility is recognised as a great advantage. Other people are generally viewed as a necessity, or a means to an end, and Shadow Servants are prone to leaving a group if they deem it of no further use, or they are given orders. As a result, they generally take a cold, calculating opinion of other classes, and are usually not judging. They take a slight dislike to Clerics however, on the grounds of religious differences, and see Paladins as somewhat naive in their view of such things as ‘Justice and Righteousness’, as, like Khaine, they see both sides of the picture. They have a certain minor kinship with Rogues, due to the basic similarities, and take a fond view of Monks, both living the same disciplined, intensively strict lifestyle.

Roles: A Shadow Servant is fast, fragile, and capable of immense damage in a very short space of time, as a result archers, wizards and such are perfect targets. It’s something of a skirmisher of the party, darting in to snatch a few hits, then retreating to a different target to avoid damage. Extended combat does not fit it, but a few quick rounds against the right enemies will do wonders.

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Game rule Information
Shadow Servants have the following game statistics.

Abilities: A high Strength gives a Shadow Servant the required close combat boost, and Dexterity basically fits the entire background, and helps with certain Shadow Arts they will eventually gain. For the purposes of Feats, a Shadow Servant counts as a fighter of the same level.
Alignment: Any Chaotic.
Hit points/Hit Die: 4/d4 (Shadow Servants will have had their weight reduced at the cost of high weakening to their bodies).

Class Skills:
The Shadow Servants Class Skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex) Climb (Str) Disable Device (Int) Hide (Dex) Jump (Str) Listen (Wis) Move Silently (Dex) Spot (Wis) Survival (Wis) Swim (Str) and Tumble (Dex).
Skill Points at 1st level: (6 +intelligence modifier) X 4.
Skill Points at each additional level: 4 + Intelligence modifier.

Class Features:
All of the following are Class Features for a Shadow Servant:
Weapon and Armour Proficiency: Shadow Servants are proficient with three weapons of the player’s choice, these represent the primary, secondary, and backup weapons the Assassin has trained solely with. At least one of them must be a light weapon, and all must be melee weapons. They are not proficient with any form of armour or shield.

Shadow Training: Shadow Servants are trained from birth to honour a few basic tenets and intense forms of combat, they may never wear any form of armour, magic, masterwork or otherwise, though spell effects are allowed. They may not use ranged weapons, as they are taught that a kill must be made face-to-face to honour Khaine, which is the sole reason they live. On the flipside, they have access to the ‘Shadow Arts’ which are listed on a table below. Also, due to the fact that their training starts from birth, they only add d10 to their starting age.

Altered body: Through the course of a Shadow Servants training, their physical form will be altered, becoming stronger, faster, but also lighter and more fragile. Their minds are also implanted with stalwart mental blocks around the memories of their training, and such memories may not be accessed, by any means, even by them. Due to the changes in their body, they weigh 3/4th’s as much as they would normally, and may never benefit from more than a +1 modifier from Constitution and Charisma, for any reason or situation. However, they determine their ability scores slightly differently. Roll 4d6 six times, discarding the lowest dice each time and add the results to create your available points. You may divide this number as you please between the six Ability Scores, though at least one score must be 13 or higher, if this is not possible you may re-roll as normal. However, due to the difficulty of improving upon a body so fixed in it’s form, Shadow Servants halve the number of times they may increase their Ability Scores, removing bonuses from those gained at the lowest levels first.

Assassinate: At 12th and 17th level, a Shadow Servants eyesight becomes sharper, honed to perfection as their hand-eye coordination becomes near-perfect. As a result the blows they land become much more precise, and they benefit from an almost supernatural sense of where to hit the enemy to cause maximum damage. At 12th level, any weapon they wield increases it’s threat range by 1, to a maximum of 18-20, at 17th level, any weapon a Shadow Servant wields increases it’s critical multiplier by 1, to a maximum of X4.

Evasion and Improved evasion: A Shadow Servant gains these abilities at a rate of one level after a Rogue would gain them (so a Shadow Servant gains Evasion at 3rd level, and Improved Evasion at 11th level.)

Table: The Shadow Servant.

Base Attack Bonus: Use first column.

Base Save Bonus: Reflex and Will uses Good column, Fortitude uses Poor column.

Shadow Arts: May roll 1d12 on the Shadow Arts table at level 0, and again at levels 2, 4, 6, 8, 10,12, 14, 16, 18, 19 and 20, gaining the Art corrosponding to your roll. Note that this is a roll, not a choice. If you roll an Art you already possess, roll again until you gain one you do not possess. (If, for some reason, you do not have a d12, use 2d6, and in the event of a double 1, choose either the first or secoond skill. If you don’t have any d6’s, then what the hell are you doing playing this game?) This roll should be made by the DM, as the Shadow Servant has no real choice over what they remember, though on agreement the controlling player may do so instead. All Arts have a required Dexterity, if you do not meet the required Dexterity score, you do not gain the Art, and the roll is wasted.

Shadow Arts Table
1: Blurring speed: The Shadow Servant runs almost supernaturally quickly, blurring into an arrow-quick figure that moves all too fast for their enemies to track.

The Shadow Servant’s basic movement speed is doubled at no penalty. (Dexterity required: 14)

2: Great leap: The Shadow Servant uses the enemies around him as a springboard, striking as he bounds between them to finish in a high leap, mocking the enemy from out of range of their clawing, crude strikes.

At any point in time when the Shadow Servant is in combat, the Shadow Servant may take a Jump test to remove themselves from combat, at a standing start. Should they succeed, unless the enemy they were fighting has a reach higher than their jump distance, they may not be attacked for the remainder of that round. The ability may only be used every two rounds. This does not provoke an Attack of Oppurtunity, but may only be used once the Shadow Servant has attacked. (Dexterity required: 18 )

3: Endless fury: Driven by old wrongs and hatreds, the Shadow Servant strikes again and again and again, blades flashing over and over in an eyeblink to obliterate their foes in an orgy of blood-offerings to Khaine.

The Shadow Servant may make half again as many attacks as they have on their basic profile (Rounding down), these attacks may not be made with an off-hand weapon, and are not subject to any feats, Shadow Arts, or special abilities the Shadow Servant may have. These attacks will be made at the lowest bonus to hit listed on their basic profile. For example, a 6th level Shadow Servant with this Art would have one attack at a +6 attack bonus, and two at a +1 bonus. (Dexterity required: 18 )

4: Impossible accuracy: The Shadow Servants awareness of time itself is slowed as amounts of adrenaline that would kill normal people course through their veins, giving them the time to act out each strike in their head for greatest accuracy.

Shadow Servants with this Art may re-roll the dice for any of their basic attacks which miss. For example, a 6th level Shadow Servant with this art with a Sabre and an enchanted shortsword granting an extra attack (above and beyond being used as an off-hand weapon.) Could re-roll any missed attacks with the sabre, but not the shortsword. This may be used to ignore critical misses, however if used as such, only the critical miss may be re-rolled. You may not re-roll a re-roll. (Dexterity required: 22)

5: Inhuman reflexes: A Shadow Servant has acute senses, nigh-preturnatural reflexes, and do not feel shock. As such it is very dificult to catch them unuwares, or to hit them before they act.

A Shadow Servant may roll an extra dice and pick the highest for initiative. In addition, they may roll as normal for iniative at all times, even when Ambushed, though in such cases they do not get the extra dice.
In addition, they may ignore the penalties for the extra attacks granted by the Improved, and Greater Two-weapon fighting. (Dexterity required: 21)

6: Supernatural Agility: The Shadow Servant twists and contorts, sliding away from killing strikes like shifting sand. To try and land a blow upon them, is like trying to pin smoke to a wall.

If a Shadow servant is hit by a spell or an enemy strike that does not hit automatically (Such as Magic Missile) roll a d6. On a result of 4,5 or 6, the hit is ignored and no damage is taken. There is no limit to how many times this ability can be used, and it is counted as a free action. Damage must be automatic to disallow this, so something that that allows a saving throw to avoid damage can be saved by this. If it allows half damage or similar, then this ability may not be used. Also, note that as the Shadow Servant is concentrating so fully on darting aside, they count all incoming attacks as flanking, and halve any AC bonuses they might recieve from mundane sources (including the Dex bonus). (Dexterity required: 25)

7: Quickblood: The Shadow Servant coils around enemy strikes like smoke, directing them away with the barest glance from their weapon, appearing in one place for mere moments, then another, and another, until it seems they are a mere illusion. For surely, nothing can move that fast, can it?

As Supernatural Agility. If a Shadow Servant has both skills then the dice may be re-rolled, tough it still does not apply to attacks which automatically hit. (Dexterity required: 25)

8: Blink and you’ll miss them…: A Shadow servant charges with impossible speed, closing the distance before an enemy has even registered they were there in the first place. Oftentimes, the only indication a Shadow Servant is even involved, is a slight blur, and wounds appearing with no apparent cause.

Unless the enemy wins the Iniative roll in combat, Shadow Servants never provoke Attacks of oppurtunity for any reason, except for the Break attack Art. (Dexterity required: 28 )

9: Break Attack: Running slightly off-center from the target, the Shadow Servant speeds past an enemy, slashing at them as they do so, disappearing again in a heartbeat, leaving behind a broken corpse as they move on.

A Shadow Servant with this Art can choose to move up to half their movement allowance into contact with an enemy, attack with up to half their total attacks (To a maximum of two with the primary weapon, and a third if they have an off-hand weapon) and then move the rest of their allowance. The enemy may not attack them if they choose to do this, however an iniative roll is made, and if the enemy succeeds the Shadow Servant provokes Attacks of Oppurtunity as normal. (Dexterity required: 22)

10: Inner Veil: Focussing the residual magics left behind by the agonising process of altering their bodies, a Shadow Servant sheets themselves in an arcane veil, hiding from mortal sight.

The Shadow Servant gains Invisiblity As a Spell-like ability, at half duration but with an instantaneous casting time, which they may cast twice a day as standard action. Any form of action other than movement (Including jumps, climbing and such) instantly cancels the effects, making the Shadow Servant fully visible again.(Dexterity required: 10)

11: Long time no see: Shadow Servants are often away from civilsation for long periods of time, or spend several years in harsh landscapes. In comparison to the horrer of their training, such things are easy enough.

Shadow Servants with this skill do not suffer penalties for resting in cold weather or uncomfortable ground or other such things, and roll two dice and pick the highest for Survival checks.

12: The Bell Tolls For Ye…: A Shadow Servant is not a cloaked knife, but rather a blindingly efficient warrior, capable of impaling their enemies in one swift motion, slicing at exposed throats or darting to the enemies rear. Razor-keen weapons guide their will as they do not see the enemy, only the danger of enemy strikes to be dodged, and the soft exposed parts they can break.

The critical Threat range of the Shadow Servants primary (Not off-hand) weapon, is tripled. For example, a weapon with a critical Threat range of 18-20 would be tripled, to become 14-20. A Threat range may not be improved beyond 12-20. (Dexterity required: 30)

How does Altered Body work in a point-buy system?

Roll the dice for the ability scores as normal (roll 4d6 six times, discarding the lowest dice each time). Now, instead of choosing each result and assigning it to a stat, you add it all together, and choose how many to give to each stat.

It's supposed to represent the fact that they will have been subjected to very strict training, designed to mold their bodies in certain directions, and their physical structure will have been forcibly altered to emphasise certain characteristics.

No, I understand rolling stats. But many DMs and games, including a lot on these boards, use the Point-Buy system of stat generation instead.

Basically, it gives the character X amount of points (anywhere from 25-40), with stats starting at 8. Each +1 to a stat costs a certain amount of points - 1-for-1 up to 14, then it spikes. Look in the DMG if you have it, it explains this much better.

Also, would you mind highlighting the name of each ability in the first post in Bold? It'd make it much easier to read.

Good point, I'll get to that right around now.

As for the point-buy system: I wasn't aware of it.

Hmm, interesting question. I suppose the easiest answer would be, it replaces it, and I can't really think of anything much better.

*EDIT: Okay, done.

Well I looked more at your description of Kaela Mensha Khaine (trans. Bloody-Handed Khaine) than at the class you made so this is based on what I found wrong there according to Eldar fluff so you can choose whether or not to correct it.

Firstly, Kaela Mensha Khaine is not the Eldar deity of Blood, Shadow and Butchery. In the Eldar mythic cycles he is the god of War and Murder and he is the very symbolisation of destruction and violence.

Everything else until the description of Khaine is good, however the description of him is off by a bit. The Avatar of Kaela Mensha Khaine is a being with molten iron for flesh and magma for blood. In battle he wields the terrifying Suin Dallae (trans. Wailing Doom) in his right hand, it is no mortal weapon but in itself a manifestation of the god, a part of the Avatar imbued with his power. His left hand holds no weapon but constantly drips with the blood of the mortal Eldar hero Eldanesh who Khaine slew in the War in the Heavens.

EDIT: Forgot to mention that all information I have used here is from the 2E and 3E Codex:Eldar

First, I was describing Khaine himself, not his Avatar, since Khaine himself has never been drawn, I have a certain amount of artistic licence, and, loving the Avatar, just went for a suped-up version. Second, I adore Khaine, but for the purposes of my own narrative desires, I warped him a bit so i didn't just wholesale take GW's deity.

A minor shift, but still a shift.

I am well aware of what the Avatar of Keala Mensha Khaine looks like, I have it as my Avatar, after all! Hehe, Avatar as an Avatar...

Also, blood shadow and butchery was something of an analogy. Butchery meant to represent the slaughter of battle. Blood, the personal touch of murder, which ties into Shadow, to represent Assassins. And don't tell me Khaine doesn't make use of Assassins, Dark Elf army book, Warhammer Fantasy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Imrix.

First, I was describing Khaine himself, not his Avatar, since Khaine himself has never been drawn, I have a certain amount of artistic licence, and, loving the Avatar, just went for a suped-up version. Second, I adore Khaine, but for the purposes of my own narrative desires, I warped him a bit so i didn't just wholesale take GW's deity.

A minor shift, but still a shift.

I am well aware of what the Avatar of Keala Mensha Khaine looks like, I have it as my Avatar, after all! Hehe, Avatar as an Avatar...

Also, blood shadow and butchery was something of an analogy. Butchery meant to represent the slaughter of battle. Blood, the personal touch of murder, which ties into Shadow, to represent Assassins. And don't tell me Khaine doesn't make use of Assassins, Dark Elf army book, Warhammer Fantasy.

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I myself did that on a message board other than here. Used the avatar as an avatar I mean. I wish I had something more constructive to say, but it's nice to see that a new poster would put so much effort into all that. I hope you stick around. I'm a 40k player myself, as well as D&D.

Hmph, what can I say, when i start a pet project, I put a lot of effort into it.

Now then, since the backstory has been solidified as possible, if I could get some help actually balancing the rules?

Don't care for the attribute rules - how do they work in multiclass situations?
Skill points per level should (RAW) match up with initial skill points - so either 6+ int bonus per level and 4x that a first, or 4+ int bonus per level and 4x that a first.
The dexterity requirements on the random abilties are so high that MOST of the rolls will be wasted at non-epic levels. This is particularly true one the character has a cuople of the ones with lower equirements - either he rolls a "new ability" he cannot receive (a wasted roll) or he rolls an ability he already posesses (a wasted roll). OR did you mean to allow players to start with a dexterity above 18 (or 20)? In that case the ability score generation is out of line with a beginning character.
Some of the abilities seem extremely powerful (Double base movement at level 0?)

In all this seems like you MIGHT be able to make a prestige class if you chage it around a lot, or you could create a monster with appropriate abilties (assassins make better enemies than PC's particularly blindly fanatical ones). As is I would not want to see this as a PC whether I was DM'ing or playing and it was another PC.

O-V-E-R-P-O-W-E-R-E-D. Even with the dex requirements, most of the abilities are overpowered. Seriously, you're basically making a class that can only be defeated by high level wizards stocked up on MM. Please, look at them. Many of them make him take NO damage. 50% miss chance with invisibility? Only 25% of the attacks will hit, so it is more luck and win than strategy and ability. That's what I think anyway.

I can definately see a bit of Warhammer 40k's influence here. The abilities sound like something a Templar or Necron would have. (Yes, I must agree...Necrons rule).

Unfortunately, your class does not confrom well to the D&D system. I like where you were going with the class, the flavor is good, but the mechanics need a lot of work.

First, this is definately prestige class material. The goals, motivations, and powers are just too specific to be anything otherwise. Second, many of your abilities (even with a Dex requirement) break the game. To eliminate this problem, may I suggest the following?

Devotee of Keala Mensha Khaine

Requirements
Alignment: Any non-lawful
BAB: +4
Feats: Lightning Reflexes, Quick Draw
Skills:Move Silently 5, Balance 8
Special: Must be initiated into the order by a current devotee
Special: Must endure special training by a current member for a period of at least one month

HD: d6
Skill points: 4 + Int
The Shadow Servants Class Skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex) Climb (Str) Disable Device (Int) Hide (Dex) Jump (Str) Listen (Wis) Move Silently (Dex) Spot (Wis) Survival (Wis) Swim (Str) and Tumble (Dex).

BAB: 3/4 progression
Saves: Reflex good, Fort and Will poor

ABILITIES
Shadow Arts (Su or Sp): Beginning at first level and every other level, a devotee of Keala Mensha Khaine begins to learn special arts that help protect him from harm and make him a more potent assassin. The character may choose one art from the table below. His level plus his Dexterity modifier determine which arts he may choose from. A devotee may only choose a given art once.
TABLE
1: Improved Initiative as bonus feat
2: +2 bonus on Will saves
3: Increase all base speeds by 5 ft.
4: Once per day, the devotee may reroll any initiative roll.
5: Once per day, the devotee may reroll one attack roll. This must be made before the DM annouces the result of the roll.
6: Uncanny Dodge (or Imp. Uncanny Dodge if they already have UD)
7: Critical range of any light weapon wielded doubles (does not stack with similar abilities)
8: Gain Invisibility 1/day as a spell-like ability
9: +1 insight bonus to AC
10: Gain Greater Invisibility 1/day as a spell-like ability

Evasion (Ex): At second level, the devotee of KMK gains evasion. If they already have evasion from another source, they gain Imp. Evasion instead.

Uncanny Dodge (Ex): At 4th level, the devotee of KMK gains uncanny dodge. If they already have uncanny dodge from another source, they gain imp. uncanny dodge instead and levels stack to determine the minimum level to be sneak attacked.

Improved Evasion (Ex): At 6th level, the devotee of KMK gains Improved Evasion.

Blend into Shadows (Ex): At 8th level, a devotee of KMK may use the Hide skill to hide in any shadow illumination, even if it doesn't offer any cover or concealment. A devotee may not hide in his own shadow.

Code of Conduct: A devotee of KMK may not wear medium or heavy armor of any type. However, they may use any magic effect that would grant such a bonus. If they violate this code, they lose all abilities until they attone.

How's that?

I'd say the new one is a lot better. It really is great prestige class material. I take it that this is a 10 level PrC no?

A-yup. Forgot to mention it.

Props to Tarkhan for his redo- that makes more sense then the random roll. Love the backstory part- i can see some potential there. A few things:

1: 50 years training? too long. Nobody but an elf is willing to devote that kind of time. Also, you said human don't live long enough to become one but half-orcs make good candidates? Half-orcs live to be about 60.

2: What specific domains does Khaine promote? I'm thinking Courage, Death, Destruction, War.

3: D4 hp? If the character is even going to say the word melee he should have at least a d6. A d6 assumes that while yourcharacter is fighting they won't be hit to often, like a rogue. "get in, attack, get out" Incorporate a feat like spring attack, so they can use their high speed. D6.

4: Blood- they're is a huge story focus on it, but no related skills. Why not? Work in some blood juju or bleeding attack, whatever. It's your character, what seems appropriate to you?

But seriously, good work. This class has a unique flavor do it, and it tastes good.

P.S. The Tau own the Necrons.

Hey I know barely anything about D&D and i still managed something half decent, yay me.

That would, hopefully explain my lack of knowledge about half-orcs lifespan...

Now then, I now have to deal with the character being slaughtered...

TomBoniface: How does it match up with multiclassing? It doesn't. Either you start as the class and get it, or you don't and you don't.

The skill point thing isn't meant to match, it's supposed to represent the fact that they start off with a lot of training in certain areas, but after that have trouble improving and adapting to increase their expertise by themselves. They've spent most of their lives in a rigid training system, and are certainly chaotic and adaptive in the field, when it comes to improving themselves, it mostly comes from memory.

As for the atribute bonus: Yes, the whole point of it is to take certain atributes far above 18 or 20. The motive of this class is not for them to be well-rounded, but to have almost insurmountable strengths, but at the same time truly crippling weaknesses.

Maryring: I know it's overpowered, that's why I'm asking for help. As for the invisibility thing *Frowns* hmm, I may alter that slightly to basically say any action other than movement in general, instantly brings a full halt to the ability use. Actually that's not a bad idea.

I can't look at them really, I don't have much for comparison, which is why I'm asking for help.

Green Magus: Khaine doesn't really do priests, so Domains aren't exactly something that figures in. I always thought of Khaines priesthood as more before-battle blessings and then frenzied berzerkers in the fight. But you have a good point, War is a no-brainer, a darker side is good for Destruction, and people on Khaines side tend to be overcome by visions of what they can accomplish, which a real morale-booster, so Courage is good too. Not sure about Death though, Khaine never was much for dealing with what happens after he's stabbed somebody, that's ynneads forte.

As for the hit points: It's calculated. I know it's horribly weak, that's the point. They have weak muscles, thin skin, lighter hollow bones, fewer ribs and generally an incredibly fragile body, all in all: They cannot take hits, they have to avoid them. This forces the player to choose the fights they can win quickly, instead of just wading in and slaughtering all and sundry, if I gave them much more HD, it would be tempting to take the risk. As it is, they are something to very qwuickly, and very easily pick off the people surrounding the main battle.

As for the blood thing: I figured that would more be the forte of the priesthood (Or priestesshood), not what is effectively a large-scale assassin. The main focus of the blood thing is when they fight, every life they take is an improvised sacrifice to Khaine. Still, you're right, maybe I'll replace a Shadow Art or two for something concerning blood, maybe make all attacks that cause say... five damage or more bleeding attacks? Seven?

Tarkahn: I like it, I really do, still I would prefer to try and balance mine as well, and I disagree on the Prestige Class thing, by the backstory it couldn;'t really be a base class, what with the whole stolen-at-birth thing. And it's more of a Warhammer Fantasy vibe actually.

Oh, and I happened upon an idea for balancing the Shadow Arts in general: With the exception of the Long Time No See, Break Attack, and possibly Great Leap, Shadow servants may not benefit from more than 3 Arts at any one point in time, chosen at the beggining, and may not be changed. Also, once they use even one Art, they may only use them for up to half an hour, after that point they must wait for four times the amount of time they maintained use of the Arts before they can use them again.

By backstory, this would represent the fact that using such potent abilities requires flooding their body with near-lethal amount of adrenaline and les... natural, fluids. Their body cannot stand it for long, and if used too much will basically kill itself, as the mass of stimulants ravages their internal organs, messes up blood flow, and generally messes their whole body structure up.

The time needed could be halved, if they spent the entirety of it in a meditative trance state, meaning they can't do anything for that time. Quite possibly incur a penalty to any skill checks in the 'cooldown' period, as their whole system is hopping about frenzeidly with stimulants, making it incredibly dificult to concentrate. -3? -4?

Thoughts? Oh, and I added something to the Supernatural Agility and Quickblood Arts.