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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Man on Fire
* BBEG does not get villain song to explain his motives
** He doesn't summon a rock band from other time to perform it
*** If that song is Sabaton's
We Burn or
Carolus Rex I'm buying everybody a beer.
*** Megadeath's
Prince Of Darkness isn't a good way to reveal the bad guy is really the Devil himself.
*My bard's name is not Johnny.
**My bard may not challenge devils to fiddle duels.
***My bard may not have a mansion with a room full of golden fiddles taken from defeated devils.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
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Are the attacks in-game or IRL?
Yes.
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So you need to generate gunpowder in less than 6 seconds in order to produce it in game?
If I wish to do it inside of a combat round, without provoking attacks of opportunity, yes.
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So, if I need to demonstrate that a lightning bolt does indeed turn water into Hydrogen and Oxygen, do I need to acquire a river and a lightning bolt in those 6 seconds? Or are the 6 seconds only after acquiring all materials my PC already has?
Or do you mean explaining the theory? In such a case, up to how technical can I get?
You can explain your theory as much as you like before the DM starts throwing books at you. You get whatever materials are available in the house/shop/school you play at. Not allowed to leave the building to get more. If you DO have access to a high-powered electric generator and some water, then yes, you can pull that off, but need to do it within 6 seconds if you don't want to provoke.
Generally, it is considered bad manners to attempt an action that requires more time to explain than it does to execute.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Acanous
Generally, it is considered bad manners to attempt an action that requires more time to explain than it does to execute.
Electrolysis doesn't take 6 seconds to say though, so he's good. :smalltongue:
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beowulf DW
*May not create an Unarmed Swordsage specializing in Desert Wind in 3.5
*May not make a Monk of the Four Winds in Pathfinder
*On the off chance that I'm able to create anything with similar abilities, under no circumstances may I yell "Falcon Punch!"
*You know what? You say Falcon Anything, you're getting polymorphed into a newt, and you will not get better!
the same applies to a magus with force punch
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Esprit15
Electrolysis doesn't take 6 seconds to say though, so he's good. :smalltongue:
True enough!
..No longer allowed to apply the second law of thermodynamics in a fantasy setting.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* When the DM says the field of battle contains any weapon in the PHB, that does not mean I can take all of them.
** Especially if it means looting small sized Dwarven Urgoshes and Orc Double Axe's.
*** I no longer allowed to use the PHB weapon list as a check list of what weapon I used to kill things.
**** My character does not have the title "Doorslayer" "Doorbane" or anything related to smashing doors down.
***** If I am an evil kobold paladin, it is assumed I am not a fanatical worshiper of Pelor.
****** No longer allowed to dodge bluff checks by using logic.
* When the water orc barbarian is the voice of reason in the party, there is a problem.
** No longer allowed to commandeer an airship and force it to ram two other airships as a means of distraction.
*** Shouting profanities at the bound elemental is not the best idea.
**** Airships are destroyed, not killed or slain.
* As an artificer, I'm not allowed to forget that I have spell scrolls, especially if they could have ended the previous fight in one round.
* If I am the party wizard, my first reaction to city guards asking us to help them is not to teleport away.
* No longer allowed to play a bard that is useless to the party (must have been drunk when I built that character)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Beowulf DW
*My bard's name is not Johnny.
**My bard may not challenge devils to fiddle duels.
***My bard may not have a mansion with a room full of golden fiddles taken from defeated devils.
* My bard's name is not Jack Butler.
** Just because I'm RPing that he sold his sold to a Devil in order to be an expert musician, doesn't mean that I don't have to point any points into Perform (Instrument).
*** He also does not have DR vs. Rock and Roll.
**** Even if he does have Weakness: 5th Caprice.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*I may not flirt with the BBEG
**Especially if my significant other is at the table
***Especially if said BBEG is a ghost wizard known for possessing people in the night to act out his nefarious plans and I have NO will save.
****I am not to sleep outside the magical warded safe area after taunting said ghost wizard
*****After defeating the BBEG I am not to go into mourning.
*High diplomacy is not an excuse to make friends with the BBEG
**If I do so, I should not demand the XP we would have gotten for killing him.
***I will not aid the BBEG in his nefarious plans to the detriment of party goals.
****Even if my party doesn't trust me anyway
*****Especially if my party doesn't trust me anyway
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
The BBEG can not be defeated by my Fighter 5/Bard 2/Arcane Archer 7 casting the spell Charm Person.
Especially if he is a Cleric and my Charm Person DC is 11.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Techwarrior
The BBEG can not be defeated by my Fighter 5/Bard 2/Arcane Archer 7 casting the spell Charm Person.
Especially if he is a Cleric and my Charm Person DC is 11.
well, technically that's what the critical failure is for... If it works, it works by raw and blame the bad railroading skills of the DM. Also did I hear phat lewt and lots of XP? :smallamused:
*I may not abuse the critical succes and critical failure rules just because I can
**No, not even If my schtick is being a lucky bastard
***not even with the luckstealer, fortune's friend and fatespinner PrC's, the luck domain, surge of fortune etcetera...
***neither may I create the Luck dragon as a mount, and even if I do it won't say "With a little bit of luck"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Given that checking accounts have not yet been invented in this gameworld, my character's background fluff may not involve scamming people via bad checks.
** My character's background may not involve checks at all.
*** Even if I invent checking accounts in-character and convince a banker to extend credit to me, I may still not write bad checks.
**** And I am now also disallowed from referring to Forgery, Bluff or Profession (Scam Artist) rolls as Kite checks.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*If my DM allows me to be a werebeetle, I turn into an insect, not Ringo Starr
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Ever since he was a young boy my bard did not play the silver ball.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
I may not play a savage bard who never ever learned to read or write so well but he could play the guitar just like-a ringin' a bell.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bayar
* No longer allowed to play a bard that is useless to the party (must have been drunk when I built that character)
** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* Trying to rob a party member does not count as joining the campaign.
** Even if they robbed you first.
* Trying to bull-rush a party member into shark-infested water does not count as joining the campaign.
** Even if they are a size category larger than you.
* Trying to Turn a party member's undead familiar does not count as joining the campaign.
** Even if you are not a divine caster.
* Trying to kill/incapacitate a party member does not count as joining the campaign.
** Even if they are 2 size categories larger than you.
* When the paranoid warforged killing machine has become the voice of reason for the party, there is a problem.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sith_Happens
** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.
**** I may not use up all the charges in the Staff of Resurrection within the first 10 minutes of play
* May not ask the NPC paladin to step outside for a minute whenever we want to torture a prisoner for information
** May not do this so often and in such an obvious manner that said paladin realizes when we're about to do so and finds the most trivial of distractions to facilitate our wants.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* I may not rip off The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising
** I may not rip off The Gamers.
*** I may not rip off Journeyquest or any other Dead Gentlemen or Zombie Orpheus materials.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sith_Happens
** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.
Yes! Thank you!
*I may not weasel a lightsaber in as a "psionic spirit blade"
**Even if I manage to somehow pull that off, "gnomish mechanical buzz-swords" are right out.
***As are "dwarven speed-mining sticks"
*Raise Dinner is not a spell.
*The DM is rule 0 so I'm to stop whining about how he cut off my cleric from his god.
**Yes even if it got the party killed
***Because maybe it would FORCE ME to ROLEPLAY!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Snicker Snack is the sound effect for a nat 20 while wielding a vorpal sword, not the sound effect of a player eating a snickers bar.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Riverdance
*I may not weasel a lightsaber in as a "psionic spirit blade"
**Even if I manage to somehow pull that off, "gnomish mechanical buzz-swords" are right out.
***As are "dwarven speed-mining sticks"
** A "hollow, manually-operated golem" offers no protection from thrown DMGs.
Quote:
*The DM is rule 0 so I'm to stop whining about how he cut off my cleric from his god.
**Yes even if it got the party killed
***Because maybe it would FORCE ME to ROLEPLAY!
* I am not to point out to the DM that the group's munchkin actually has a good point about three-fourths of the time.
** Conversely, I am not to point out that playing an elf monk is grounds for immediate revoking of one's munchkin license.
* I may not badger another member of the party to make a Wish of practical benefit when the campaign is over and we don't even know if we'll still be playing the same characters.
** If she instead Wishes to revive the DMPC who was killed by the final boss, I may not ruin the dramatic impact by pointing out that we are currently surrounded by mid-level clerics.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
* No longer allowed to prove that enough sneak dice means I don't need special metals to overcome DR.
** Double for a high crit range.
* If I play a secretly evil PC, I am not allowed to be obviously evil.
** Tieflings are a bad idea if the party LG is an aasamir.
** If said aasamir (who trusts EVERYONE with NO good reason) is suspicious of me inside of two minutes of introductory conversation, I need a higher bluff score.
*** Me, not my character.
** When said aasamir puts me in a Zone of Truth spell and flat-out asks me "are you evil?", sullen silence broken through a light hissing through my pointy teeth is its own form of answer.
*** I am being barred from the party, not for being evil, but for NOT BEING ABLE TO COME UP WITH A CONVINCING HALF-TRUTH RESPONSE GAWD HOW HARD IS THAT QUESTION TO GET AROUND?
((Just to be clear, the above wasn't MY secretly evil PC. This was ANOTHER player's secretly evil PC. MY evil PC is the most-loved (least-hated?), least-suspected member of the party, and no one has even NOTICED all the crap she's been pulling on behalf of the Quori. The next ruleset is for MY evil PC.))
* I may, of course, take the item I was ordered to retrieve from the box prior to the party looting it, as I was commanded. However...
** If I am to replace it with something so that the party doesn't suspect the rogue who found an empty (and jeweled, magic, and fancy) box, it is to be something of reasonable value. I am NOT to furnish a goblin cookbook that I picked up from the bargain bin for 3 copper against just this eventuality. (Yes, I thought that far ahead.)
*** I am also not to prepare said cookbook by adding to the inside of the front cover the words "Captain Zanzibar" followed by a pageful of gibberish that LOOKS like a cyphered message but is, in fact, utter gibberish, and to then go through the book underlying random words on random pages.
**** The magical box (which at my urging we pawned without closely examining) does NOT strip an object of its personally-connective properties, thus explaining why scrying on the book's owner reveals me, the first person to have contact with the book after it was removed from the box.
***** I am not to allow, and definitely not to ENCOURAGE, the rest of the party to go on a quest to unravel the nature of this mystery, nor am I to construct and drop further "clues" into the party's hands with the intent of feeding them misinformation and also covering up my own thefts.
****** Nor, at the end of this unproductive and all-around frustrating set of sidequests, am I allowed to use above-mentioned zone of truth to have the epiphany: "Wait! I think the book was a decoy! What about the BOX we found it in? Suppose that the book was meant to distract us from the BOX!" and use the timing of this apparent epiphany to further deflect non-existent suspicion from me.
******* I'm not allowed to gloat to the rest of the group. Not that I am. I just WANT to.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Reltzik
* I may, of course, take the item I was ordered to retrieve from the box prior to the party looting it, as I was commanded. However...
** If I am to replace it with something so that the party doesn't suspect the rogue who found an empty (and jeweled, magic, and fancy) box, it is to be something of reasonable value. I am NOT to furnish a goblin cookbook that I picked up from the bargain bin for 3 copper against just this eventuality. (Yes, I thought that far ahead.)
*** I am also not to prepare said cookbook by adding to the inside of the front cover the words "Captain Zanzibar" followed by a pageful of gibberish that LOOKS like a cyphered message but is, in fact, utter gibberish, and to then go through the book underlying random words on random pages.
**** The magical box (which at my urging we pawned without closely examining) does NOT strip an object of its personally-connective properties, thus explaining why scrying on the book's owner reveals me, the first person to have contact with the book after it was removed from the box.
***** I am not to allow, and definitely not to ENCOURAGE, the rest of the party to go on a quest to unravel the nature of this mystery, nor am I to construct and drop further "clues" into the party's hands with the intent of feeding them misinformation and also covering up my own thefts.
****** Nor, at the end of this unproductive and all-around frustrating set of sidequests, am I allowed to use above-mentioned zone of truth to have the epiphany: "Wait! I think the book was a decoy! What about the BOX we found it in? Suppose that the book was meant to distract us from the BOX!" and use the timing of this apparent epiphany to further deflect non-existent suspicion from me.
******* I'm not allowed to gloat to the rest of the group. Not that I am. I just WANT to.
That is perhaps the best example of "secret evil" I have ever seen. And you can gloat when the campaign is over, just be prepared to dodge books.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*no matter how much skill I have in archdetecture I may not construct a stairway to heaven.
**they tried it once before, didn't work
***a highway to hell is out of the question
****I may not pave it with good intentions
*If my plan contains any of the folowing statements it is immediatly vetoed
- So if I take the cross product of the vectors
- assuming that the coordinates of cthuluss lair are (pi,pi,pi,e,e,pi)
- First I aquire some fertalizer and soap
- So we know ro and phi but not theta
- F=MA, F=kx, e=mcc, e=.5mvv
(all of these have featured in a plan created by myself or my group)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sith_Happens
** I may not play 50 bards that are useless to the party.
*** Becoming a pile of corpses large enough to grant total cover does not count as being useful.
*When the bad guy kills the Bard, I will act impressed.
*My paladin is not interested in the rustic architecture right over there.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eulmanis12
*no matter how much skill I have in archdetecture I may not construct a stairway to heaven.
**they tried it once before, didn't work
***a highway to hell is out of the question
****I may not pave it with good intentions
*If my plan contains any of the folowing statements it is immediatly vetoed
- So if I take the cross product of the vectors
- assuming that the coordinates of cthuluss lair are (pi,pi,pi,e,e,pi)
- First I aquire some fertalizer and soap
- So we know ro and phi but not theta
- F=MA, F=kx, e=mcc, e=.5mvv
(all of these have featured in a plan created by myself or my group)
* I may not construct a perpetual motion device using a wheel, 2 bags of holding, their maximum weight capacity in ballast, and a mechanical mechanism that dumps out their ballast into a bin at the height of the wheel's motion and back into the bag at the bottom.
** I am also not allowed to go online and share this in a thread full of people who apparently love to drive their DMs crazy with this sort of exploit.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*It is in poor taste to use Decanters of Endless Water for purposes other than drinking, washing things, and occasionally knocking down scrawny goblins.
**Perpetual motion machines, limitless clean energy, hovercraft, orbital rockets, aquaforming, siege engines, steampunk railguns, and other technological marvels may be natural consequences of a society capable of mass-producing Decanters of Endless Water, but I am not allowed to create any of them.
***Not even as an artificer.
*Making the logical conclusion that it would be possible to make a Decanter of Endless Fire simply by changing the mini-gate's destination is frowned upon.
*Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
**Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*Calling my character Farren d'Hite is fine; calling myself Mr. Farren Hite is not.
**Even if he is burning through the skies at 200 degrees, he cannot travel at the speed of light.
***He will not make a super-sonic man out of you
****No, not even with the right acquired template.
Edit:
*My character should refrain from "taking samples" of all of the victims of a crazed cannibal "for science," even during a time of widespread starvation
**In front of the party Paladin
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
Quote:
Originally Posted by
byaku rai
*It is in poor taste to use Decanters of Endless Water for purposes other than drinking, washing things, and occasionally knocking down scrawny goblins.
**Perpetual motion machines, limitless clean energy, hovercraft, orbital rockets, aquaforming, siege engines, steampunk railguns, and other technological marvels may be natural consequences of a society capable of mass-producing Decanters of Endless Water, but I am not allowed to create any of them.
***Not even as an artificer.
*Making the logical conclusion that it would be possible to make a Decanter of Endless Fire simply by changing the mini-gate's destination is frowned upon.
*Decanters of endless [x], where x is any substance associated with a given elemental or demi-elemental plane of the D&D planescape, are frowned upon in general.
**Special consideration goes into the frowning upon of Decanters of Endless Gasoline, Whiskey, Oil, Grease, Lube, Gunpowder, Tiny Shards of Glass, Bees, Spiders, Scorpions, Dragons, Sewer Water, Urine, Lasers, and/or Gold.
*** "Decanter of Endless Decanters of Endless X" is right out.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing III: I May Not Iron Heart Surge Rule Zero
*When the DM claims that something is physicaly and magically impossible, I may not take this as a challenge
*likewise I may not consider any statement along the lines of "this is the craziest plan i've ever heard" when not refering to one of my plans as a challenge
*if my character drives cthullu insane, I have done something horribly horribly wrong (read as right)
*as a barbarian with an int of 5, I may not come up with plans involving multivariable calculus in any way (with the exception of using a multivariable calculus textbook as an improvised weapon)
**As a barbarian with an int of 5 I should not be intelegent enough to come up with a plan in the first place
***in fact that character should not know what the word plan means
****I may not have characters with an int of less than 10
*if I am not a wizard or artificer, actually even if I am a wizard or artificer, my plan may not involve nuclear fusion
*If the entire list of equipment for my plan to defeat the BBEG calls for a paperclip, two ball bearings, a rubber band, sovereign glue, duct tape, an axe handle, three sewing needles, and a fork. And it works. I will be beated relentlessly with the DMG.
* I may not use magic Items to approximate walkie talkies
**I may never again use the line "This is Sierra Echo Alpha Lima Six reporting Bravo Bravo Echo Golf and 20 Tangos in grid square, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Requesting Foxtrot India Romeo Echo Bravo Alpha Lima Lima. Over." in a D&D session. Even if it makes sense with the "walkie talkies"
***I must stop assuming anyone else in my group understands the Military Alphabet