Coid's Crowing Conundrum of a Canticle of Crookedly Random Banter #185

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Originally Posted by KuReshtin

If only I could afford to become a vagrant..

There's another job that I'm going to apply for, but I start to lose my will to live just by filling out the application.
They've stated that they won't accept any CVs, and you have to fill out this application form that they provide, which is an 11-page form with all sorts of stuff, and I just can't seem to get through it.
Luckily, I can save the progress that I've made and come back to it when my sanity sort of returns.

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question 1: in 100 words or more decribe how your previous work makes you suitable for employment here.
question2: in 100 words or more describe what you think you will bring to the company.
question 3:in 100 words or more describe how in the film 2012 the neutreno mutation occured?
:smallamused:

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Originally Posted by Dimonite

Is it weird that I pretty much understand everything freak-fleece says? Yeah, that's weird, isn't it...:smalltongue:

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No, that's just your mutant power. Mine is befriending people I don't like :smalltongue:

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Originally Posted by Archonic Energy

question 3:in 100 words or more describe how in the film 2012 the neutreno mutation occured?
:smallamused:

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Space wizards, duh.

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Originally Posted by Archonic Energy

question 1: in 100 words or more decribe how your previous work makes you suitable for employment here.
question2: in 100 words or more describe what you think you will bring to the company.
question 3:in 100 words or more describe how in the film 2012 the neutreno mutation occured?
:smallamused:

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It's more like:
"[The company] wishes to compare your experience, skills and knowledge with its requirements as detailed in the person specification. You should, therefore, try to show in the following part of the form how you satisfy these. "

The different categories include: IT Skills, Meeting Deadlines, Dealing with customer complaints, Team Working, Flexible Approach, Problem solving and 'Commitment to Equality'.

Sure, a lot of these things aren't too hard to come up with stuff for, but 'commitment to equality'?

"Yeah, since I've worked in customer support and other customer services roles for the past 13 years, I feel that all customers are equally idiotic and should be despised equally."

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Originally Posted by Devmaar

No, that's just your mutant power. Mine is befriending people I don't like :smalltongue:

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... Mutant powers are, by definition, weird.
And I noticed some likely unintentional wordplay with the word "mutant" there...

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Originally Posted by KuReshtin

"Yeah, since I've worked in customer support and other customer services roles for the past 13 years, I feel that all customers are equally idiotic and should be despised equally."

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that's about right.

*stamps the CV [APPROVED]*

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Originally Posted by Dimonite

... Mutant powers are, by definition, weird.
And I noticed some likely unintentional wordplay with the word "mutant" there...

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I meant that and you will never prove otherwise :smalltongue:

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Originally Posted by KuReshtin

"Yeah, since I've worked in customer support and other customer services roles for the past 13 years, I feel that all customers are equally idiotic and should be despised equally."

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My goodness, sense has been spoken today by somebody in the world- I must write this down for posterity.

I beat Assassin's Creed 3. Woohoo~

Already? Wow. I think it's been out here for only a few days (I think), so I'm assuming that it came out earlier in Canada?

I just got told about a wonderful chrome plugin.

Chrome Herp Derp. It changes all youtube comments from the hateful stupid stuff to long strings of "Herp" and "Derp". Makes browsing youtube much nicer. :smallbiggrin:

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Originally Posted by Devmaar

No, that's just your mutant power. Mine is befriending people I don't like :smalltongue:

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:smalltongue: I agree with that thar white text up thar, somewhere. ( Am I really, truely, misunderstandablerg, or are you people just too lazy to try and read the newest form of creative literature? :smallamused: LAZY I SAY!)

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Originally Posted by LaZodiac

I beat Assassin's Creed 3. Woohoo~

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... Can I PLLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEE rant about how modern games are crap, and also, why does everything come out in November?

1. STORY IS TOO SHORT :People are beating Halo and Asspeople Creed in a single day. Halo has great multiplayer and thank god it has the 'Season' deal, that helps with content. But a 6 hour story is a bit small. (But those guys probbly skipped cutscenes, so myeh)

Asscreed, I dont really care for and wouldn't care much if it fell in a pit of firey lava burn for 123k dps.

2. WHY DID IT ALL COME OUT IN NOVEMBER? Planning to get things for Christmas pretty much means that all the story gets ruined for you in the first week of it being out, and you're behind in the online content. BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF WINTER RELEASES IS CHRISTMAS.:smallmad::smalltongue:

3. BLARGLE.

2.What I said in 2 up there, so this looks mroe ranty and less 4 lines of text so Teddy doesn't come ina nd reply in 8 paragraphs with intelligent links to sources about how the Gamign industry is actually about the money and not consumer satisfaction.:smallamused:

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Originally Posted by Mutant Sheep

And then we kind of let Knee and Teddy (those two silly fluffy beasts) carry on the longest and most complicated worddsmithery ever only ever rivaled by Curly.:smalleek: YOU KNOW NONE OF THESE NAMES BWHAHAHA! :smalltongue::smallamused:

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No mention, even if only in connection with Curly?
Mutant Sheep, I can cannot express to you the pain I feel at this most painful revelation. I desire to convey to you officially... that I am HURT!

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Originally Posted by Heliomance

Blarg. I'm bad at Fridays.

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Right now, I'm pretty much just bad at days.

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Originally Posted by KuReshtin

Long rant about unemployment and stuff spoilered:

Spoiler

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I've got two weeks left at work after having been made redundant, and it seems I'm just sitting off my notice period without getting anything to do.
The work is assigned throughout the team by a weekly admin, and for the past two weeks, even if the team has had a whole bunch to do, I've only got a handful of emails assigned out of the hundreds that have come in. It's not even been one a day, so I find myself with a lot of dead time when I don't have anything to do.

Wednesday 21st will be the end of my current employment, at a company where I've been employed for the past 13½ years, which is more than a third of my life. I have no idea what to do after I leave, cause all the jobs i've applied for so far has either come back, telling me that the position is no longer available, not come back to me at all, or told me that the position was offered to someone else.

Facing unemployment for only the second time in my life, I can't deny that I'm a bit anxious about what's in store, but at the same time, I'm kind of glad to be out of this place, because the work conditions and how people are treated by the company is just so poor it's unbelievable.

I'e even started toying with the idea of maybe going to school for a bit to pick up some qualifications, but it's a bit daunting as well, because I'm a terrible student.

We'll see what happens, I guess.

For those who didn't read the spoilered text:

TL/DR -
Made redundant. Bored at work. Unsure of future plans. Life isn't great right now.

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*Hugs*

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Originally Posted by Castaras

I just got told about a wonderful chrome plugin.

Chrome Herp Derp. It changes all youtube comments from the hateful stupid stuff to long strings of "Herp" and "Derp". Makes browsing youtube much nicer. :smallbiggrin:

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I'd never use that to be honest, most of the channels I actually look at the comments on are generally not that bad.

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Originally Posted by Mutant Sheep

2.What I said in 2 up there, so this looks mroe ranty and less 4 lines of text so Teddy doesn't come ina nd reply in 8 paragraphs with intelligent links to sources about how the Gamign industry is actually about the money and not consumer satisfaction.:smallamused:

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Hehehe. Given, I don't think it's that easy. Customers vote with their feet (or rather, wallets), and when we demand one thing and buy another (in heaps), we send out some really mixed messages. That said, I think there must be some unhealthy element involved in the creative process of many big business game manifacturers that steer any ambition of originality back to the safer mainstream.

Like when little brother picked up the first Halo again some week ago and played it for a while, and I realised how empty open lonely the game was, with even some of the more hectic levels containing large empty stretches without a single enemy. Like the first flood level (343 Guilty Spark), where you wander through the Forerunner facility without facing anything (apart from a traumatised marine) up to the flood room. Or any of the outdoor levels, really.

I miss that element, but I think that, somewhere, someone's gotten the idea that the players get bored if there's any more than a minute between each hectic fight, which is sad. I'd like to make a FPS that's more about exploration than firefighting gunfighting. You'd wander around, trying to uncover this magnificent ancient secret while your adversaries are practically as lost as you are, and no one has any idea of what the other one knows or is up to, but you have to stop them at all cost.

Might have to crib the whole "AI in you head" concept from HALO. I just like the idea of it...

COIDZOR!

You are the true heir! I pass along the transient banter crown to you; your golden claim has shone through the leaden clamour of usurpery. Wear it well, gentleman, and grow wise in its glow.

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Originally Posted by Elemental

No. It is not a fun drug. It has no effects other than to dull pain for a few hours. It has no other properties than to be damaging to one's liver if one takes more than eight standard tablets spread out over a twenty-four hour period, a process heightened by long term alcohol abuse.
And no, I will not be developing an aristocratic Laudanum habit. Mainly because Laudanum is dangerous. Besides, there are other ways to appear aristocratic that are cheaper.

Paracetamol is also known as Acetaminophen, in case that name is more relevant to you.

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But laudanum is not about appearing aristocratic: it's about feeling aristocratic! Lounging about in silken bedclothes and a silky haze, fixated on some glint of gaslight on the gilded moulding in which the glee of the universe twinkles like a star...

Has your acetampihoinen been keeping the pain at bay effectively, at least?

What art are you working on?

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Originally Posted by Dimonite

Is it weird that I pretty much understand everything freak-fleece says? Yeah, that's weird, isn't it...:smalltongue:

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As do I; I dare say I look forward to his endearing spastic outbursts. He gives the impression of an artefact machine, vibrating on the verge of bursting. It gives me a contact high.

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Originally Posted by KuReshtin

Aaargh.. ALL the new random banter threads.. Getting flashbacks to the RB 151 wars.

I'm bored.

For those who didn't read the spoilered text:

TL/DR -
Made redundant. Bored at work. Unsure of future plans. Life isn't great right now.

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I am sorry, good sir. A part of me leaps like a squirrel to convince you that now is the time for a big wonderful change in your life. Even while another part of me slouches like a raccoon, that one should not always hope to mythologize in these moments of crisis.

What do you think?

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Originally Posted by Mutant Sheep

In a more serious tone(I don't do this often, take notes :smallwink:) Hi hello welcome to the show. Take a seat, the regulars will be here to talk about their daily lives shortly. And then we kind of let Knee and Teddy (those two silly fluffy beasts) carry on the longest and most complicated worddsmithery ever only ever rivaled by Curly.:smalleek: YOU KNOW NONE OF THESE NAMES BWHAHAHA! :smalltongue::smallamused:

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That reminds me, that another impression I had I wish to draw in Sharpies -- from when someone mentioned shipping Teddy and I -- was a budgie and Teddy's cloud-dreamer avatar, back to back in a dramatic pose in combat with an encircling horde of monsters.

Perhaps I will undertake it this weekend, for a break from paper-writing.

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Originally Posted by Thufir

No mention, even if only in connection with Curly?
Mutant Sheep, I can cannot express to you the pain I feel at this most painful revelation. I desire to convey to you officially... that I am HURT!

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Ah, sweet Θύφιρ... the days when you and the auspicious Curly wove your grand discourses are so long turned away from light that only the gray-aged of us still bear it in memory. For you yourself are become a scarce commodity, and your lady indeed is in some place grooming her flock of dodos.

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Originally Posted by Sgt. Cookie

Already? Wow. I think it's been out here for only a few days (I think), so I'm assuming that it came out earlier in Canada?

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Got it a few days ago but it came out October 30th.

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Originally Posted by Mutant Sheep

:smalltongue: I agree with that thar white text up thar, somewhere. ( Am I really, truely, misunderstandablerg, or are you people just too lazy to try and read the newest form of creative literature? :smallamused: LAZY I SAY!)

... Can I PLLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEE rant about how modern games are crap, and also, why does everything come out in November?

1. STORY IS TOO SHORT :People are beating Halo and Asspeople Creed in a single day. Halo has great multiplayer and thank god it has the 'Season' deal, that helps with content. But a 6 hour story is a bit small. (But those guys probbly skipped cutscenes, so myeh)

Asscreed, I dont really care for and wouldn't care much if it fell in a pit of firey lava burn for 123k dps.

2. WHY DID IT ALL COME OUT IN NOVEMBER? Planning to get things for Christmas pretty much means that all the story gets ruined for you in the first week of it being out, and you're behind in the online content. BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF WINTER RELEASES IS CHRISTMAS.:smallmad::smalltongue:

3. BLARGLE.

2.What I said in 2 up there, so this looks mroe ranty and less 4 lines of text so Teddy doesn't come ina nd reply in 8 paragraphs with intelligent links to sources about how the Gamign industry is actually about the money and not consumer satisfaction.:smallamused:

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The game's not too short, I just have a lot of spare time and literally spent all my time playing it.

It came out October 30th, which is the day the game's plot starts. Also, November is just a good month for selling stuff.

Also, I succeded in reading NO spoilers for AC3, so nyaaa!

Having to train new employees is bothersome. Especially when it's during a big sale thingie. :smallsigh:

One word - whips. They'll soon get the hint.

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Originally Posted by Kneenibble

That reminds me, that another impression I had I wish to draw in Sharpies -- from when someone mentioned shipping Teddy and I -- was a budgie and Teddy's cloud-dreamer avatar, back to back in a dramatic pose in combat with an encircling horde of monsters.

Perhaps I will undertake it this weekend, for a break from paper-writing.

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This certainly is a work I'll have to see upon its completion: The bear and the budgie, armed in flesh and mind, back to back, standing defiant against the encroaching darkness. A radiant speck piercing the eternal night, they face the impossible to those who know no hope, but they stand firm, because they alone know that through enlightment and resolve, a man can stand through all.

Well, we managed to have a good deal of confusion about this one, didn't we? :smallamused:

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Originally Posted by Mutant Sheep

In a more serious tone(I don't do this often, take notes :smallwink:) Hi hello welcome to the show. Take a seat, the regulars will be here to talk about their daily lives shortly. And then we kind of let Knee and Teddy (those two silly fluffy beasts) carry on the longest and most complicated worddsmithery ever only ever rivaled by Curly.:smalleek: YOU KNOW NONE OF THESE NAMES BWHAHAHA! :smalltongue::smallamused:

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Pfft. Only some of us give you that much info. :smallwink:

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Originally Posted by Devmaar

I see you've met the sheep. You get used to him theoretically at least :smalltongue:

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Either that, or you learn to catch what he means without actually reading what he posts :smalltongue:.

ION: Something has managed to get my friends (at least some of them) mad at each other, and I have no idea (well, I have an idea, but very little info about it, so there's not much to go on) what has them all bothered.

Oh, and a welcome to AllIHaveIsChunk!

Short excerpt from my NaNoWriMo novel, particularly for Teddy's eyes (I really have kept it short), but others may enjoy if they wish...

Spoiler

Show

Captain Bjorn Olafsson sat in the officers mess of the army base on the outskirts of Sasha, his surroundings much more cramped than they would normally have been, the officers mess here being the only fully equipped mess hall available on the base ever since the enlisted mess had been hit by one round during the wide ranging kinetic strike against military bases of the surface of Okami- right during the middle of serving breakfast to several hundred enlisted personnel.

The days that had passed since then had been frantic, but this had mostly been the result of treating the casualties that had resulted from the kinetic strike and attempting to reorganise the troops of the seventeenth armoured cavalry division into something approaching a fighting force around all the casualties and fatalities that had resulted from that attack, a process which they were nowhere near finished with, in fact parts of their division were as far as fifty percent understrength, including elements of their front line operating crew, which left entire tanks uncrewed as they consolidated the personnel they had to make as many tanks as they could fully combat capable.

He heard a noise from outside the officers' mess, the sound of heavy machinery on the move, but to the best of his knowledge, there were no heavy vehicles due to be moving on the base at this moment in time, especially since the commanders of every armoured vehicle that still had an assigned crew were here with him, taking refreshments in the aftermath of their most recent briefing on the situation, their senior noncommissioned officers joining them as other enlisted men filed through the serving counters that had been set up for them down one side of the mess hall. Unless there were vehicles newly arrived on base (and the briefing hadn't warned them of any) anyone who could have authorised heavy vehicle movements was there in the mess hall with him, which made him more curious about the sounds from outside and, picking up his plate from the table, he rose to his feet, as did many of the others in that officers' mess, curiosity getting the better of more than half of the room's occupants. Working his way through the crowd, he reached the doors of the mess, which opened to the outside air of the base- revealing to him a sight that left a bitter taste in his mouth as he took it in. They haven't done it, have they?

Sure enough, a number of mecha were in the process of parking themselves on the concrete roadway in front of the base's officer's mess, their paintwork now modified to carry the standard cavalry camouflage pattern for units assigned to the bases here on Prokofiev. They've finally snapped, Bjorn thought to himself, they've called in toys to fill in for the real armoured vehicles that we can't man, and it doesn't matter how damned ridiculous they look because this decision will have been made at the highest level, so fighting it directly is no use at all. I just hope they shoot you all down before even one of our proper armoured vehicles is hit by enemy fire.

“A pitiful sight, aren't they Hippo,” came a voice from behind Bjorn, a voice that he recognised well. Lieutenant Colonel Walters was one of the staff officers, but had been caught at the edge of the blast radius when the kinetic strike came in, and he was currently on the casualty list, having been flung across the base by the shockwave, one of his legs broken as it was dashed against the armour of a personnel carrier before he eventually came to rest against the concrete. Nobody quite knew why Lieutenant Colonel Walters had originally coined the nickname of Hippo to refer to Captain Olafsson, but the name had caught on like wildfire, with even the base commander using it as often as not.

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Originally Posted by Kneenibble

COIDZOR!

You are the true heir! I pass along the transient banter crown to you; your golden claim has shone through the leaden clamour of usurpery. Wear it well, gentleman, and grow wise in its glow.

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Umm... I'll try, but expecting wisdom and Coidzors to mix is a bit of a tall order. :smallwink:

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Originally Posted by Castaras

I just got told about a wonderful chrome plugin.

Chrome Herp Derp. It changes all youtube comments from the hateful stupid stuff to long strings of "Herp" and "Derp". Makes browsing youtube much nicer. :smallbiggrin:

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Oh my. I shall have to forward this onto my compatriots who cannot abide any youtube comments ever at all.

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Originally Posted by Heliomance

Blarg. I'm bad at Fridays.

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As am I. I always want to go out and do something but lack the basic social etiquette knowledge necessary to really know what or how to do so, haha.

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Originally Posted by factotum

Taken in the correct dosage Paracetamol causes no liver damage whatsoever--it's only when you take so much that you overwhelm the liver's natural pathways for metabolising the stuff that you have problems.

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Ahh. I'd always heard it was pretty taxing even in the safe-ish dosages.

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Originally Posted by Elemental

Oh. Then you must be Sir Coidzor. My mistake.

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:smalltongue: No Sir.

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Originally Posted by Elemental

It's still not my place to do so. After all, she would consider it very rude.

I apologise, but I am not in the business of setting my sister up with people on the Internet. Even if those people happen to be very stylish.

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How very prim and proper of her... :smallconfused: A bit too prim, even... Hmm...

:smallwink:

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Originally Posted by Elemental

Indeed. And the projects just continue adding up.
Why is the world so inspiring?!? Why?!?!
More important point... I procrastinate too much.

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TO encourage you to beat the foul foeman Procratinatorre. :smallwink:

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Originally Posted by Lord Raziere

oy….I started one right around the same time as Coid. darn it, I was hoping to hijack it like a cowboy….

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Don't fret, love, 'tis but a few short days till next round of the ****'s crow for the Bantering Burley.

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Originally Posted by Coidzor

Umm... I'll try, but expecting wisdom and Coidzors to mix is a bit of a tall order. :smallwink:

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I expect an emulsion, or may your beard wither and fall.

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Originally Posted by Teddy

This certainly is a work I'll have to see upon its completion: The bear and the budgie, armed in flesh and mind, back to back, standing defiant against the encroaching darkness. A radiant speck piercing the eternal night, they face the impossible to those who know no hope, but they stand firm, because they alone know that through enlightment and resolve, a man can stand through all.

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;___; Where were you when I was lost in the black bowels of Brennenburg Castle, wading through horror and sin?

Is the Teddy's uniform underneath his cape a black tunic with blue baldric & belt?

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Originally Posted by Socratov

design schools happened.

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Like I needed another reason to hate design schools.

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Originally Posted by Devmaar

I see you've met the sheep. You get used to him theoretically at least :smalltongue:

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I'm not sure how I feel about that.

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Originally Posted by Mercenary Pen

Short excerpt from my NaNoWriMo novel, particularly for Teddy's eyes (I really have kept it short), but others may enjoy if they wish...

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Ohh, this I'll have to read...

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Originally Posted by Mercenary Pen

They've finally snapped, Bjorn thought to himself, they've called in toys to fill in for the real armoured vehicles that we can't man, and it doesn't matter how damned ridiculous they look because this decision will have been made at the highest level, so fighting it directly is no use at all. I just hope they shoot you all down before even one of our proper armoured vehicles is hit by enemy fire.

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This is perfect! Passive-aggressively wishing that they all just die off so that we can go back to piloting true armour and firepower, while still not refusing to use them? Yeah, that's pretty much me. :smallamused:

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Originally Posted by Mercenary Pen

“A pitiful sight, aren't they Hippo,” came a voice from behind Bjorn[...]

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This made me hit myself in the head because it's so silly. And then laugh. I still laugh at it. :smallbiggrin:

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Originally Posted by Kneenibble

;___; Where were you when I was lost in the black bowels of Brennenburg Castle, wading through horror and sin?

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Probably right here, or in the immediate vicinity hereof. :smallwink:

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Originally Posted by Kneenibble

Is the Teddy's uniform underneath his cape a black tunic with blue baldric & belt?

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Actually, it's a deep blue tunic (or something along those lines) with a belt and baldric of leather pouches (sort of like an arcanist's bandoleer), although I've been thinking of dropping the latter and focus on making the tunic-thing more interesting in itself instead. So, I hereby task you to go wild and use your own imagination to come up with something reasonably stylish for me to wear beneath the cape. Art is free, and I've always liked other's interpretations of subjects and characters. I may have ideas and instructions, but in the end, what I look for is what you've done with them, not whether it's up to my expectations or not.

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Originally Posted by Teddy

Ohh, this I'll have to read...

This is perfect! Passive-aggressively wishing that they all just die off so that we can go back to piloting true armour and firepower, while still not refusing to use them? Yeah, that's pretty much me. :smallamused:

This made me hit myself in the head because it's so silly. And then laugh. I still laugh at it. :smallbiggrin:

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I thought I had the character down pretty thoroughly- and the Hippo nickname came to me within a couple of days of your giving permission for the character- only Lala to write in now...

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Originally Posted by Kneenibble

I expect an emulsion, or may your beard wither and fall.

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Oh my. :smalleek:

I suppose I'd better go and find who can still liquefy me then. :smallconfused:

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Originally Posted by Coidzor

Oh my. :smalleek:

I suppose I'd better go and find who can still liquefy me then. :smallconfused:

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I can liquefy you! I have a spork!

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Originally Posted by Teddy

Actually, it's a deep blue tunic (or something along those lines) with a belt and baldric of leather pouches (sort of like an arcanist's bandoleer), although I've been thinking of dropping the latter and focus on making the tunic-thing more interesting in itself instead. So, I hereby task you to go wild and use your own imagination to come up with something reasonably stylish for me to wear beneath the cape. Art is free, and I've always liked other's interpretations of subjects and characters. I may have ideas and instructions, but in the end, what I look for is what you've done with them, not whether it's up to my expectations or not.

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Okay! Good. The avatar I made for Blue Ghost was pretty interpretative -- I'm not good enough at making images to have too specific an object.

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Originally Posted by Coidzor

Oh my. :smalleek:

I suppose I'd better go and find who can still liquefy me then. :smallconfused:

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I mean I'd like to boast my wrist and manual skills, but... not all men are vinaigrettes.