Come on now, that's just being greedy. You have to pick, you can't have both chocolate and vanilla.
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Come on now, that's just being greedy. You have to pick, you can't have both chocolate and vanilla.
Strawberry and Butter Pecan for life!
You are blowing my tiny mind. Stop that. :smalleek:Quote:
Originally Posted by EternalMelon
Bi erasure involves a lot of small things that basically ignores the existence of bi people. It goes from saying that bi people don't exist to more subtle things like assuming that everyone in a relationship with a man only likes men and anyone in a relationship with a woman only likes women. Or seeing a female friend who used to have a girlfriend and now has a boyfriend and saying "oh, you're straight now?" rather than considering they may like both.
Usually bi men are assumed to actually be gay, and bi women to actually be straight (I guess everyone must secretly like men only and only pretend to like women?).
It also can involve more systemic things, like characters in stories not being bi even if they have relationships with people of multiple genders, being instead portrayed as having a fluctuation orientation, changing their mind or finally coming out. Or there is also this idea that a bi person will have a "real" relationship with someone of the opposite gender but that anything with the same gender is less "real", not an actual relationship, can't possibly be serious and is just for fun.
Pshhh. Those arn't real flavors. You're just making them up for attention.*Quote:
Originally Posted by golentan
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmberVael
'Course not, girls are icky.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissou
Serious time:
Lissou did a better job explaining Bi-erasure than me. Like I said, I can't wrap my mind around it. :smalleek:
Bi-erause is weird in that even people in the LGBT spectrum/community perpetuate it.
*That actually hurt to type. I have no quarrel with non-binary/genderfluid/ect people and the backlash you get saddens me.
Shine on you crazy diamonds.
What this also dives into is the idea that bi women shouldn't be dating other women because of course they'll leave you for a man. Or that they're just doing it for male attention.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissou
Y'know, because they're totally straight and are just being /promiscuous/
Hi everyone! I'm back!
I was gone for a week or so due to having other things on my plate. As you may recall from a thread I posted on the subject, I lost my job as a field paleontologist in California after two clients I was brought on to do consulting work for backed out of their projects and left me with no work.
Anyway, I could no longer afford rent in California without the job, so my parents ended up having to bail me out of that positions and cosigned with me on a small studio apartment back in Arizona where I'd been living before. So anyway, I'm back on my feet for the moment. My last apartment complex was nice enough that they'll be returning most of my $2490 deposit soon and I still have around $350 to my name before that after rent and bills are paid for August. I'm back to doing volunteer work on fossils at the local museum while interviewing for various different jobs at this point.
Anyway, I only just got my internet connected at my apartment today, so I thought I'd stop in and say hi.
EDIT: Oh, and it's cookies and cream for me. Also cookie dough. Preferably both at once. :D
Hi Moose!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dire Moose
Glad you got your situation worked out, though it could've gone a bit better. Still, good luck finding a new job!
One good thing coming up for me in the near future I should mention.
Back when I was having a major crisis about my gender identity last fall/winter, I talked to a lot of people in order to help try to make sense of myself. Most of them were unable to help me resolve it despite having dealt with it a lot themselves, including a professional gender therapist.
Finally, one trans woman who had been talking with me on this one IRC (which ravens_cry is also a member of) was able to calm me down like nobody else really could, and really spent some time with me helping work things out and put them in perspective. We've remained close friends after that, and she was also with me through losing my job and my girlfriend last summer, where she was able to help lift me out of that.
As it turns out, she's having her SRS done in late October right here in the Phoenix area, where she'll be staying for almost a month. We're both looking forward to finally meeting in person. :)
This thread needs more kittens.
http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q...taly/54243.jpg
I also have taken a bold pro-kitten stance.Quote:
Originally Posted by WarKitty
My husband announced that he is going to transition, get HRT and top surgery, wear binders instead of bras until then, and has pondered a name change but hasn't thought of one he likes yet.
This is a big relief, because it is a big improvement over watching him mull around without taking any action in a pit of dysphoria.
A year ago today was the first time I felt comfortable sharing a picture without any makeup on. Now I only wear makeup on special occasions. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress, but I actually am. It may not be as fast as I like, but it's gradually happening.
Another cute kitten for yous:
http://i.imgur.com/rD4Dkqq.gif
EDIT: I DUN MESSED UP THAT'S THE WRONG GIF
It's okay, I'm now imagining a cute kitten doing the aggressive chicken dance and it's even more adorable.
I have a bit of a question. It seems like pretty much every trans* person I know kind of "knew" their gender identity before knowing it, and so their journey was kind of coming to terms with it.
I legitimately have no idea what my identity is. Not at all. I feel clear dysphoria, but there's a million things it might be, I've tried to figure it out, had false starts, and nothing seems to fit. Maybe it's just because I'm young and I need to give it more time to settle out from the current chaos that it is, or maybe I'm broken, or actually just cis and very deluded, or something?
Has anyone here had a process anything like this? Apologies if I'm being sort of vague.
OK, I'm going to stop you right there.Quote:
Originally Posted by JetpackJimmy
I did NOT know my gender identity. I just knew I was completely awful at living life like I was supposed to, inexplicably exhausted by a lot of innocuous situations, and had a bunch of really strange privacy twitches.
Then I found out that the issues I had were symptoms of textbook gender dysphoria.. BUT I STILL WASN'T SURE WHAT MY GENDER ACTUALLY WAS. because non-binary is a thing, and all I knew what what I was NOT.
It took some pretty aggressive experimentation and some odd situation with an enby before I could actually get it narrowed down exactly. So do not for an instant think that it is the overwhelming norm for everybody to know what they were from the time they were young. I can identify the clues that WOULD have tipped me off if I had known at the time what I know now stretching far back, but i had NO clue how to interpret them at the time.
Start by just getting everything together. Look for change or a general absence of it. Start digging through all your clues. TRY things. Try out gender-flipped pronouns and terminology for a bit. AT LEAST a month of regularly getting that stuff, because it will likely sound beyond strange the first few times. For me, it took about two weeks, and then the 'new car smell' faded and it was like finally coming home. READ stuff. Talk to people.
I don't really have anything to add to that except "same", but I feel that needs said, so here's a post longer than ten characters saying just that.
I don't know about that. I tried all of that myself and all it did was make me even more anxious and confused than before.Quote:
Originally Posted by JusticeZero
I don't even know what my gender is now although I've reached some sort of comfort not really worrying about it, for which I guess I'm pretty lucky.
That's exactly what I discovered; I was much happier when I wasn't trying to figure out my gender identity and just living life.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lissou
Trying to do things and experimenting with pronouns, clothing, etc. to understand my feelings was just stressing me out and doing nothing good for me. Backing away from all that calmed me down.
As for what my identity is and why I have a male symbol on my profile... I can't really say I "know" for sure that I am male, or that I'm "supposed" to be male. The fact is really inertia; I've been comfortable living as such for most of my life and might as well keep things that way.
People are using my new name.
People are using "she" pronouns.
It's... it's incredible. I'm... I love it so much.
I'm glad you're enjoying it. :smallbiggrin:Quote:
Originally Posted by Xihirli
So I've been female pretty much full time, including going out in public to stores and restaurants and such, and having a wonderful time with no-one judging me oddly at all.:smallbiggrin:
I keep passing for female even when speaking, even despite being pre[any kind of medical transition at all].
Apparently I'm also very confident, according to several friends, which makes me wonder if that might be part of it.
I go out with a "I don't give a fish about what people think of how I look" attitude.:smallsmile:
Spoiler: Me!http://i.imgur.com/gqPycbW.jpg
Me with a cute owl plushie I bought. Terrible lighting, but still.
Well, probably no one judges you because you're pretty.
You might even say....Quote:
Originally Posted by Togath
:smallcool:
....you don't give a hoot.
Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by the succubus
Some pictures are better than others, and in that one. You look great. :smallsmile:Quote:
Originally Posted by Togath
Hey cutie. You look fantastic!Quote:
Originally Posted by Togath
And congratulations on being full-time lady! I hear that's an exhausting job. :P
Pride! I went to it! It was amazing fun!