Printable View
How do you define friendship? At what point would you be willing to call someone a friend in real life and what would you expect from them?
I’m asking this because I don’t know if I have an adequate understanding of who would consider me a friend and I want to know what the commonly accepted definition if so that I can actually know if I have any friends whatsoever.
Hrm... I think you are going to find that there isn't really much of a standard for this. I know people that consider me their friend that I barely talk to (and would put in the "friendly acquaintance" category, if I had to define my friendship with them), and there are some people that I barely know that I'm very comfortable talking to (an unusual thing).
Mostly, it's a matter of trust. How much you're willing to tell this person, what kind of information you trust them with. I'm a fairly introverted person; I'd say that even my close friends don't know me incredibly well, but that's because I don't tell people much about me in general.
Friendship is best operationally defined, I think 'how much does this person improve my day?' works pretty well.
If they were turned into a basilisk, would you put your eyes out so that you could still hang out with them?
Are you friends with your self?
I like the simplified Aristotle definition: a friend is someone who becomes happier when you are happy and you become happier when they are happy.
Well obviously friendship is magiNO BAD SASKIA!Quote:
Originally Posted by Grytorm
I don't really have an intellectually viable definition of friendship. Friendship is like horror, in that it's visceral and I know it when I experience it but I can't really explain what makes it so. Like horror though it does have some identifiable traits, but these are as variable as humans themselves and by no means an exhaustive list.
- Do you go out of your way to spend time with somebody?
- Do you feel happy when you see them?
- Do you find yourself concerned about their well-being?
- Do you find yourself unhappy when things are going poorly for them?
- Are you willing to do things for them that you normally wouldn't do?
- Are you willing to tolerate behavior from them that you normally wouldn't?
I don't really expect that much out of my friends. Basically I expect them to avoid hurting me where possible and not to take advantage of me. I'll generally expect more (and be willing to do more) if somebody demonstrates that they can be trusted, but I don't think it's right to just expect things out of people without a demonstration that they're willing to do it; the difference between a friend and a close friend is all about reliability, and a reliable friend is the greatest treasure in the world.
My definition is really simple. Are they someone that ask me to do things with them, and are they someone I ask to do things with me. Almost doesn't matter what that something is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Grytorm
Someone that I just happen to see because we are at the same place is either an acquaintance or a co-worker. It's when the relationship becomes stand alone that I really consider it a friendship.
This. Unfortunately by this definition I don't really have any friends. Maybe one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Keldridge
I like this definition.Quote:
Originally Posted by Anarion
Friendship is one of those things that's really hard to put any kind of precise definition on.
I might call someone a friend for a number of reasons, but no single person has to meet all of the criteria. In fact, only two people I know have ever met all my criteria for calling them friend. I married one and I call the other my brother even though we don't share a single relative biologically speaking.
Love is a gift.
A friend is a person that we give that gift to.
There-fore, a friendship is a relationship which is defined by two people mutually exchanging this kind of irreplaceable gift.
The best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake. (Aristotle)
I usually think of someone as a friend if I they will help me when I need help and I know I can ask them for it and vice versa. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.
But sometimes being your friend would mean going against your wishes, right? If I want to kill myself then the duty of my friend is to call the ambulance.
Hmm...
Friend, n.: Someone you can open your heart to without fear, and vice versa.
Lewis once described friendship as the moment when you said to another human: "You, too? I thought I was the only one."
Respectfully,
Brian P.
Aye in that case the friend would help you by putting a stop to that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Asta Kask
As the saying goes, a friend is someone who will help you move; a good friend is someone who will help you move a body.Quote:
Originally Posted by pffh
A friend is anyone who pays me a dollar. A good friend is anyone who pays me ten dollars. Higher categories extend from there, but I rarely have any takers.
A person who asks me to give him all that money because he's broke is my brother.
Is this a one time payment, or a renewable subscription? If a person is your friend for one dollar, is that for life? Or for a period of time? Would you stop being that person's friend if they offered you more money? Is there a volume discount? What if the person finds your friendship unsatisfactory ? Do you have a refund policy? Or would you offer an exchange , giving him friendship with another friend of yours of his choice? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Fragenstein
Tongue-in-cheek,
Brian P.
All FAQs are answered within the friendship EULA. Which nobody ever reads.Quote:
Originally Posted by pendell
There are all sorts of definitions, I think, but the two I'd boil them down to are:
Someone who is prepared to put themselves out either financially or personally to help me, with no ulterior benefit in it for themselves.
Someone who is given a guaranteed opportunity to benefit at my expense, with no other adverse repercussions, and chooses not to.
If you have to define it, it's probably not friendship.
A good friend will bail you out of jail at 4 A.M. You're best friend won't . . . because he's sharing your cell.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kindablue
Sufficiently advanced technology.
What's so funny?
:smalltongue:
I'm going to be the guy who says Magic.
In all seriousness, someone you're comfortable being with as yourself, whom you share a number of interests with, and tolerates you at your worst, and whom realizes that neither of you is batting 1000 on the friend-o-meter.
...for the third time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fan
(my other post was second)
I just lost a long time friend to Cancer. She was my friend from grade school and was always there in person, on the phone, or email whenever I needed someone to talk to. Didn't matter what time or what subject. She would listen and that was the important part of her, she would listen. She might give advice if asked but would not get mad if I did not follow it. She was always there to pick up the pieces when I screwed up as I was with her. I could tell her anything and it stayed with her. A true friend, in my opinion, listens to you, keeps your information private, doesn't gossip about you and loves you just the way God may you.
there is three definitions I like (Without going in to levels of friendship etc.)
For the lower extreme of someone you could possibly call a friend:
The Dunbar number: A friend is someone "you would not be embarrassed to join at the bar of the transit lounge of Hong Kong airport at 3am".
For the upper end (for me at least), someone I would call a "real friend" someone who I would be happy to call on a Saturday evening and ask if they wanted to go for a beer or to watch a film, and would not feel weird about saying no.
For the mid point. Someone I you would probably call a mate (in the UK use) or pal. Someone you could fart in front of without worrying they would be offended (Dose not count if you are under 16. Girls under 16 are always offended. Boys under 16 are never offended.)
gnomefighter has it straight
we recently watched a movie in french class where a guy had to prove to his coworkers that he had a friend.
he ended up convincing a taxi driver to commit fraud for him :smallfrown: