Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
The biggest thing right now is just finding the motivation and energy to put together a reasonably ordered life. I don't think this is a huge depression problem, given the scope. I'm managing work ok, but here's what I want to accomplish otherwise:
- some form of exercise, approx 30min/day
- some time spent on prayer/meditation, also approx 30min/day
- a reasonable amount of housework/cooking/other general life maintenance
- some time learning programming and job skills
- taking care of necessities such as medical appointments, financial issues, and so forth quickly
- some time putting together maps and planning for D&D
What I would suggest is taking a single one of these points (possibly the exercise or meditation, since they're the most concrete and easier to turn into a schedule) and implement it. For example, look at your schedule, fit half an hour of exercise each day and then do it. That half an hour is temporarily your number one life priority.
Then, after that half an hour has become an habit (it will probably take more than a month) that you do effortlessly as part of your daily routine, you move on to another step.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't, for example, spend time putting together maps for D&D or studying a programming language. It just means that a single one of these points should become your number one priority until it has turned into second nature.
That's what worked for me, at least, when I had to turn things I didn't have much motivation for into habits. :smallsmile:
Quote:
I'm over 40 and my life is not together - at least, not together in a lot of important ways...
From your post, I'm getting a sort of "I already decided in my heart and just need people to give me permission" vibe... which is not a bad thing! It's perfectly natural to feel unsure, when facing such a big crossroads.
I don't know, from what you said I would advise you to go for it. It feels like you really need to shake your life, and when you change a single big thing then it's way easier to change other things too. You would basically reinvent yourself, and would at least have a few friends to start building a new social circle. It would be an adventure, and we all need adventures sometimes.
Of course, you should carefully consider the things you'd be leaving behind, and whether you really want to leave them behind for an unknown future. And be ready to face the consequences of the risks you'd be taking.
I don't know, I'm not you so I can't really advise you about the choice between doing it and not doing it. It really depends on what you're really feeling, under all the careful considerations and calculations. There are people who are happier doing a "low-end" job with a lot of free times than with big careers, and people who are the opposite. What I can say it, if you do decide it's what you really want, then go ahead and do it with the spirit of starting (almost) everything from scratch.
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
My biggest problem is that I seem to be impervious to most every memory trick. I don't remember to do things. Alarms go off and I don't notice, unless they're really loud in which case I annoy everyone else. I don't keep my phone on my person when in the house, so phone reminders don't get noticed. Plus I have to mute it for work/church and I will never remember to unmute it. Objects or notes left somewhere as reminders get moved without my even really noticing their presence. Lists get lost, or if they're posted in a regular place I simply tune them out subconsciously. In short, pretty much every trick I know to try to remember to do something, I simply don't notice enough for it to actually work.
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
WarKitty
My biggest problem is that I seem to be impervious to most every memory trick. I don't remember to do things. Alarms go off and I don't notice, unless they're really loud in which case I annoy everyone else. I don't keep my phone on my person when in the house, so phone reminders don't get noticed. Plus I have to mute it for work/church and I will never remember to unmute it. Objects or notes left somewhere as reminders get moved without my even really noticing their presence. Lists get lost, or if they're posted in a regular place I simply tune them out subconsciously. In short, pretty much every trick I know to try to remember to do something, I simply don't notice enough for it to actually work.
Schedule your new thing on an event basis instead of a time basis. Right after one event that you always do, you do your new thing. So when you get up in the morning or take a lunch or get home from work, do your workout or meditation then. Before you go to bed is probably a good time for meditation, after you get up is probably a good time to work out as long as you get up early enough.
You have the tools to do this- you made it through school, you've held down a job, right? You just need to assign your new thing a level of importance on par with those other life-critical activities. It sounds extreme, but the whole point is to change your life. So, use the steps you take when you need to make an unavoidable life change.
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Icewraith
Schedule your new thing on an event basis instead of a time basis. Right after one event that you always do, you do your new thing. So when you get up in the morning or take a lunch or get home from work, do your workout or meditation then. Before you go to bed is probably a good time for meditation, after you get up is probably a good time to work out as long as you get up early enough.
You have the tools to do this- you made it through school, you've held down a job, right? You just need to assign your new thing a level of importance on par with those other life-critical activities. It sounds extreme, but the whole point is to change your life. So, use the steps you take when you need to make an unavoidable life change.
I think my problem is I don't really know how I did that, I just sort of did that and it worked. When I'm dealing with work or school, I don't make any sort of effort towards remembering what I'm doing, I just remember it.
But then sometimes it doesn't work, and I don't really know what the difference is. I've been told the difference is something about how much I care about different things, but I never really figured out how to fix that.
It's always just been something that...mostly worked when I needed it, but sometimes it didn't and I just take the consequences of when it doesn't and move on and hope it works better the next time. I realize that's not really a good way to go about it, but - like, I can sit there and think "this is really really important, I have to remember it" - but it usually has no discernible effect on whether I actually remember.
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Spoiler: would appreciate responses in either pm or hidden in spoilers
Show
My close friend has just been diagnosed with a large brain tumour whilst on a holiday abroad. They're trying to get her in shape so she can travel safely back home.
I feel like a total mess
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FinnLassie
Spoiler: would appreciate responses in either pm or hidden in spoilers
Show
My close friend has just been diagnosed with a large brain tumour whilst on a holiday abroad. They're trying to get her in shape so she can travel safely back home.
I feel like a total mess
Spoiler
Show
It's always hard when a friend goes through something like that. And being a mess is totally normal. I don't really have anything brilliant to say, just that I'm sorry.
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Eye
Spoiler
Show
Why? Have you somehow caused it?
Seriously, dude?
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Eye
Spoiler
Show
Why? Have you somehow caused it?
:smallconfused:
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Spoiler: @The Eye
Show
Because it's hard to know your close friend could use your help, support and/or presence and they're halfway across the world and there is nothing you can do.
I'm guessing you were trying to say "it's not your fault" or something, but you phrased it pretty badly. Badly enough that I'm not quoting that.
Spoiler: @FinLassie
Show
Ouch! Sending all the good vibes and feelings I can your way, and I hope she can travel quickly so you can be at her side. I'm sure she'll be happy to have you. In the meantime, try to pamper yourself if that helps a bit? I wish her and you the best!
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
HEAR YE HEAR YE
A new thread must be forged from the pixel forge!
This has been a TechnOkami moment.
Re: Personal Woes and Advice 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TechnOkami
HEAR YE HEAR YE
A new thread must be forged from the pixel forge!
This has been a TechnOkami moment.
I have made one.
Personal Woes and Advice 5