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Today, it was show and tell, which was a bit odd for a high school.
You point out it's odd, which makes us think it's odd, but you don't explain why which makes it a mystery. A throwaway line to the teacher being an eccentric/bumped up primary school teacher, and also what the class thought about it, would help.
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Clockwork began to nod off after listening to one of the magenta pony’s lessons; he didn’t need to listen of course, considering he already knew the material and probably better than the teacher at that, but the steam heater in the back room let out another mechanical roar, jolting him back into reality.
Rambling, run on sentence. Each sentence should have one thing in it. Let's break it up:
Clockwork began to nod off after listening to one of the magenta pony’s lessons. He didn't need to listen, of course. He already knew the material, and probably better than the teacher to boot. His rest was interrupted as the troublesome steam heater in the back room let out a gurgling roar, jolting him back to reality.
"Ok" looks awful. Use "Okay".
Your writing
has notably improved since the first draft! Good work!
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The pegasi didn't stop yelling their chants of abhorrence.
That's really awkward as a sentence but I'm not sure if it's out of place or not; Clockwork seems quite given to complicated sentences.
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"...and just who the hay do you think you all are?!" She yelled, pointing out an accusatory hoof. "What’s wrong with you?! Making fun of him for wearing his favorite pair of goggles! And making fun of a disorder? Would you like it if somepony made fun of your ugly faces?! Of course you wouldn't! Now, idiots, go find something actually useful to occupy your worthless lives with!"
I can hear Charger saying this, really quite clearly, but I think this entire segment is a little... rushed? A little rushed and not quite realistic. I almost think there should be some sort of physical confrontation here. Perhaps a game of keep-away with the goggles, followed up with Charger electrocuting one of the bullies and giving her lecture with one hoof on a stunned pony's head. Would make their subsequent decision to back off far more realistic.
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"Hey...um, Clockwork? Are you OK?" She inquired as the red-eyed pony continued to lay sprawled across the ground. The orange mare started to close the distance separating them.
Avoid Charger using any contractions or halts in her sentences, like 'um' or 'er', unless she's legitimately flustered. She's too high class for that.
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She inquired as the electric pony supplied a hoof meant for Clockwork covered by a dark grey metallic glove, which seemed to be crafted by somepony who knew what they were doing to say the least.
This is the most awful sentence.
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This is your last chance to be of my assistance."
What?
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"Because," Charger explained with her now completely calm voice. "I don't like wasting my breath, especially on scum like them. I made my point; all I had to do was reinforce it."
Charger's speech pattern is a touch more conservative with word use. "I made my point, I did not need to make it again."
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I thought that they would help me to become a hero.
Self awareness. "I need to be ready for anything."
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You should see what they can do when they're plugged into my generator."
Would be far more interesting if we'd seen her use them on the bullies.
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A mischievous grin spread across the mare's face for a moment, but quickly disappeared.
She's more the kind for knowing smirks.
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"Thanks. Since it seems that we have now become friends, I have a gift for you if you would like. I believe it may help to cheer you up." The mare offered.
This is still the most unbelievable part of this story.
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"Ignore them." Charger briefly glanced back at Clockwork, but continued to walk. "They only insult you out of pure cowardice. If you could fight back, even just a little, they wouldn't even think of picking on you." She seemed to have little confidence in his ability to put up a fight, let alone not get beaten to the ground in a second.
"They only insult you because your cowardice is even greater than theirs."
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"Why I don't have my cutie mark yet?" She interrupted without retracting her head from the locker. "Don't worry about it. I've been asked that question countless times. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a hero. Not a specific hero of a specific place, but just... a hero. As a foal, I never acquired my cutie mark no matter how brave, or foolish, my plans were. My failures have only motivated me to try harder."
Self awareness. "I know my destiny is to be a hero. I have not, yet, found a situation dangerous enough to sufficiently prove my heroism." Low, muttered, "Not for lack of trying."