Summer-12-xxx1
I'm still in a bit of a daze...And I don't end up saying anything important to anyone...
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Until I end up in the library. In front of a girl I...
...
...
No, no. I'm not going to say that. Even if I'm starting to worry it might be true.
A girl I like. How about that. Shutup.
Well, anyway, all those queasy and totally style-wrecking feeling-type-objects aside...
"During the long summer vacation...But I never end up doing anything out of the ordinary."
If she's feeling uneasy, she doesn't let it show. I'm impressed.
"I know what you mean...Time just flies by....But...Is 10 days really that long?"
"Longer than most people here get, anyway."
"You have a point. But it's not like what matters is vacation; vacation's for slacking, right?"
"You may have a point...Well, I-I suppose I got some good sketching done."
I nod. Really, I guess most of my life was a vacation if I say 'Vacation is for slacking'
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"Another scorcher. I was hoping that that storm we didn't have would bring in some cool air."
"It would be nice...It's so hot in summer, it's hard to breathe..."
"D-Don't faint, OK? Just stay in the shade...Drink lots of water."
"I know, I know...But someone has to watch out for the plants, too. They need a lot of extra water during the summer."
"Good point...Just take it easy."
She nods fiercely.
Anyway, the rest of my day is deeply incident-less, so I go to do chores and find...
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That my last little chicken's grown up! Little...I actually have no idea, but the point is, hooray! I put him out with the others.
I log and clear another patch in the animal pen tonight, and go to bed. Today was an easy day, after all the wierdness...
Summer-13-xx1
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More tomatoes! Hooray!
Now, I've been thinking about what I want to do...And what I think I want to do, what everyone wants me to do...
Is to do something about the vineyard. Which is all fine and good...But I really don't know why *I* need to do something. I'm not a wine-maker.
And I guess that means I should...What? See if there's any help I could give? I don't want to ask the goddess until I know for sure...
So I guess I need to take Karen up on her offer for a tour.
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"Hey, Karen...I was wondering about that tour you offered...I'm sort of a fan of drinks."
"You, really? I couldn't tell."
I laugh. That's something I kind of like about Karen. Laughing's easy...But I get the feeling letting everything down, holding her when she's upset...That'd be easy, too.
...
...
Shut up, brain. Shut up, alternate brain! I'm here for a tour, alright?
"Alright, Alright... I've got a few minutes, so we can at least look at the stuff outside. You've seen my house...Next to me's the entrance to the cellar where we age the wine. We do a lot of work there, especially in the winter...I'll show you that another time."
I look. Something about the building...Looks familiar. It just sort of fits into a...a hole in the back of my head.
Oh, well.
"I know, it's a littly dingy. Life should be...A bit more glamorous, don't you think?"
"Glamorous?"
Yeah, like...Things should be sleeker. More elegant. Cooler, you know? Not so old and dead. Like in the city."
"...Maybe. The city was just kind of a mess sometimes."
"Spoilsport! Come on!"
She dashes around the field of grapevines, trying to find the perfect one to show. I don't see the deal, but her enthusiasm -- coming through in a bright smile here or there... Is always something I like. It's like washing the world clean.
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"So, this is our field. It's not as big as yours, or the Green's, or anything... And our grapes aren't very good right now, but...It's ours, alright?"
She pulled up, a little defensively. I guess until she really takes the plunge, it's hers...
"I think it's a nice field...But something's...Missing." I'm not sure how to describe it.
I remember the Harvest Sprite saying that he used to have friends here.
"Yeah. But no one's going to do anything, so there's no hope in hoping, right? This place is...Sort of a loss."
"I don't know, Karen."
I can't shake this feeling...The smell of old sadness... And something...Missing. Like a bit empty patch.
"I think...That you still care, so you should fight for it."
"What? What gave you that idea?"
"Well, it's...Your face. You go to show me the grapes, and you smile like you mean it. You hate with all your heart...That everyone else has surrendered it. That's what I see."
We end up walking towards the edge of the field, around the fence. Karen laughs.
"That smile, when you're really passionate about it, even if you don't want to be... It's really beautiful, Karen."
"...There you go again. One minute, you're just some wierdo. Then you burst out like you can see inside me. I...I really don't know what to make of you, you know that?"
She looks at me and grins, and it's a certain warm and laughing feeling again.
"Anyway, Fox, you've seen what there is to see, and I've got to work, so let's..."
She turns to go to the gate as I notice it.
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An old grey tree, at the edge of the fence. It limbs weighted down with time and brittle with death, it stands like a half-hung skeleton.
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I'm drawn to it. I can't escape it...It's like a black hole. For a moment, I get a feeling...Like it really is a black hole. It's sucking up everything around it, until it's all as dead and brittle as it is.
"Oh, that thing? Ignore it. It's been dead as long as I can remember, but daddy won't get it chopped down."
...Is this...Why the friends of the sprites left? Is this what's at the root of this place? This dead tree?
If I find a way to fix this, will that...Help? Will it be what I can do, to help Karen?
I turn at her prompting and begin to head back towards the gate.
"Hey, you know what? I do know at least one thing to make of you, you know? I... Kinda like you. <3"
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It's like having a bomb dropped on my head. I really didn't think that girls out here...Were that bold. Or that they'd like me. I kind of...Gave up, you know?
...And 'liking' me. Not thinking me hot, or anything. But like in middle school.
She walks away before I can even answer.
"What am I supposed to do?" I mutter.
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"...But...Watch out for that girl."
"Is that a warning, or...?"
"You figure it out, cityboy."
I go to the flowershop in a state of confusion. I think I need to ask the Goddess about that tree, but...I don't really know what to ask.
"Something on your mind?"
"Maybe it's a young lady. I bet a man as handsome as Fox is quite popular with the girls... But our Popuri still has a shot <3."
"W-wha?"
Lillia laughs.
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"...I'll just take some grass seeds."
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It's fine.
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"Yup."
Most of my day continues as normal... But it's in the back of my head. I do my chores before I go and see...If I can see the Goddess.
Hopefully, she'll forgive me.
I toss in my egg and begin.
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She rises up, sees me, and glares. She puffs out her chest and stares at me in an imperious manner.
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She actually sounds properly sarcastic, there. Face could use some work, though.
"What do you want?"
...Darnit, pride. Well, I need to get rid of it now if I'm going to help.
"Listen, I'm sorry. You were only trying to...Well, ok, you weren't exactly...Don't worry for me, OK? I'm not giving up so soon."
"I'M SORRRRRRRY!"
She flings her arms around my shoulders and squeezes me tight. There's no water on her, and she smells faintly of grass blades.
"I just thought it'd make you happy...And you'd stay here and worship me and we wouldn't be all alone!"
The words come out in a breathless, almost meaningless rush.
"It's alright, really... I wasn't really even that mad..."
"Well, OK, then...If you say so..." She brightens up for a radiant smile.
"I'm glad we made up. Silly you, fighting with me. <3"
There she goes again...Well, anyway...
"Actually...I came here for a reason."
"Oh?"
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"That old tree, in the vineyard...Does it have something to do with why it's failing?"[/color]
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"My goodness. You came this far... Yes. Long ago, before the Grape Spirit that lived there went to sleep, the vineyard was home both to it, which nurtured the grapes, and the kiefu fairies -- little sprites who lived among the vines... But they left, long ago. When people stop believing, there's nothing to do but leave or die...Just like the Grape Spirit."
"Is there something I can do? The Harvest Sprites said to ask you."
"Absolutely. You just need to say the word...And as your goddess, I will intercede on the behalf of humans to my fellow spirits. Now...What are you interested in doing?"
She spreads her arms expectantly, a calm look on her face. I'm reminded of Popuri, when she's lost in her meditations...
All I need to do is ask? Really?
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"Well, Duh. Call back the Grape Spirits."
If what Karen wants is someone to fight for what she loves...Then for that smile, isn't that the least I can do?
I want to help her smile. I'll worry about stuff like what that means and what I feel later!
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I'm starting to smell a catch. There's one coming up.
So much catch.
She flies alongside me as we head down the mountain. Night settles around the two of us, goddess and man. The carpenters don't see her; is this why she cares about me? Because I can? Or, right now, does she not want to be seen?
...I rather hope the latter, but let's be honest. It's not the case.
We go to the old vine-tree in the dark.
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"It needs the power that radiates from it...The heart that believes..."
She whispers it, like a chant.
I'm not the heart it's looking for. But I'll do my best....
I pray, thinking of Karen's laugh. I pray, thinking of the smile her mother came when I said I was there to see her. For Kai, staring helplessly after her.
...For watching out for that girl, maybe even.
Please, wake up.
After a while, it loses words and it's just a feeling, above and below words.
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And the tree begins to pulse golden from the inside. I feel it through my eyelids.
There's the noise of a wine bottle uncorking, and the sound of the wine being poured onto the old vine.
"And now...A little bit of the wine over the roots...And, for an offering like this..."
Suddenly, there's a sharp cut across the top of my wrist. Blood wells to the surface, and as I open my eyes, I see her holding my wrist. Her fingertips are bloody.
"The heck?!"
"A little blood. Just a bit, to sweeten the wine. The last blood and this man's first blood-offering... That's power to rouse the most forgotten god."
She cooed gently, letting the blood drop onto the ground.
"But it still hurts."
"Shhh...Look."
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The tree pulses one final time...
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And comes to life.
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The voice of the vine-tree is gnarled and smoky, hoarse with sleep.
"...I was having a good dream."
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"Things are rather lost without you...And every dreamer must awaken."
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"Everyone's miserable. The little fairies that apparently lived here are all gone, and there's no life in this place. It's all vinegar and rot...And...
There's a girl here. This is her home, and its death is driving her away, and driving her family apart. If you're some sort of god, isn't your job to protect them?"
I try and ask it calmly, but maybe there's a bit of frustration in it.
"Maybe they stopped believing because you gave up on them...
Everyone has to hold on to what they love together, or no one can hold on at all."
It seems to think this over.
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"So the Kiefu fairies also went somewhere, huh? I'm sorry..."
That's not...What I meant.
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"What? Really?"
"Things are finally getting interesting here...Don't lose this one like the last one, your ladyship."
"Hhmph!"
The tree fell silent.
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"You did it! Good job! We all knew you could do it..."
"Surprise to me."
"Well, nice as it is...It's not exactly true. You've done your part, and it's a good thing...But can the Grape Spirit bring them home? We can't know just yet... Let's hope for the best."
"I guess. But then I'll have gotten hurt for nothing."
She lays a hand on my wrist, and the wound heals with just a tiny scar remaining.
"Sorry about that...And... I'll think about what you said."
And then suddenly everything goes dark and fuzzy, and I find myself drifting into an immense darkness, thinking...
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That's not true, part of me says.
It was a wierd day...
And, ultimately, I have a wierd sleep.
Summer - 13/14 - XXX1
I hear someone...I'm by an old stone building, and I hear a little voice...
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Again, the place and time escape me. Only the little sobs of the girl, her voice like a crow's from shouting for so long, give me any sort of context in this world. I...I want to find her.
I push my hand against the wall seperating her from me...And at once, it gives way. I tumble, like Alice down the rabbit hole, and come out...In a dark room. It smells faintly of something sour -- I know the word now, but the me in the dream doesn't understand it, and the word slips from my head.
It doesn't belong in this moment. The me who knows it...Is he an intruder, too?
I just wanted to help the girl. She stops in her sniffling when she sees me. It looks like she's got a halo.
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"I was looking around, and I heard...And so...I was just sort of feeling around...And I found this."
I motion to my entryway. It's a little gap in the wall, half-hidden by the big tubs and supplies. It's more than big enough for the me in the dream to fit in, and the two of us look at it in wonder.
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"What happened? Why are you crying?" I ask, from my place in the moment and my place outside it.
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"Home..."
She says.
"You can. We just go through this hole...And I'll deal with your daddy!" I say, my chest puffed out with childhood bravado. The girl laughs through her tears, and gives me a faint nod.
I went to her home with that crying girl...
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...And then?
The dream fades away before I can know.
Summer-14-XXX1
The corn is in! I pick everything I can in one big rush...But since Ann likes it so much, I save her some.
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And I get a little note from Karen. It's not an elabote postcard, just a little message.
"Come watch the water with me again sometime, OK?"
Will do, I guess...
I go through my day, and at first it's pretty ordinary...At least, it is until I head to the ranch.
"Hey, Ann! My corn harvest came in, so I thought...It'd be something you'd want a taste of!"
She gives me a big smile.
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I didn't actually...No, no, never allow someone to think you didn't intend a good thing.
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"It's not the ideal gift...But I did at least want to show I was thinking about you." That's true enough; I was thinking about her when I picked it.
"Happy Birthday, Ann!"
She laughs. We just sort of end up chatting there for a while, casually.
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"...Yeah, actually. I talk to the animals on the farm all the time...Whatever difference that makes." I can't seem to not roll my eyes when I say that last bit. Earnestness is not a strength.
"They may not understand words...But they immediately understand..."
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"I envy them; human feelings get tangled up in words, and they can be so frustrating!"
"Aint that the truth," I say, thinking about my own web of feelings. "Well, have a good birthday, Ann. Really."
"Oh, I will! Count on it!"
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...I go and do my chores really quick...Because something's on my mind.
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"Can I really know if you like me, Malice?"
Malice bawks.
"...Yeah, didn't think so."
I also figured I'd just stall for time; Karen's usually busy if she's working in the morning, right? So I figured maybe I could see inside that shed if I went in the afternoon...
Besides, something about it just sparked my interest.
I don't see her heading in, but...It's not like the place is locked. I try the door, and close it shut behind me...
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To see Karen. She doesn't look like she was working, so I guess I came at the right time.
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"Shall I show you the whole operation? I do sort of keep promising... There's a downstairs, too."
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"Absolutely."
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"Oh, yeah. So with the way you do things, they'd be ready for drinking, right?"
"That's right. You can even just fill a bottle up and drink it right now -- the taps are a bit loose, so it's easy to do. Try it!"
She laughs and motions me to go ahead.
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I put my bottle near the tap...
"Just give it a little whack with the palm of your hand. This place is such a wreck," She says, with a little laugh.
I tap it, and wine flows into my bottle for a little bit, until it fills naturally.
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"Let's have a drink; it's not like I mind, right?"
She takes out her flask and has a sip of her own...Well...
Down the hatch.
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It's a bit of a rush on an empty stomach....
We grin like a couple of high-school kids sneaking from the liquor cabinet.
"We've got a couple of older bottles on the rack, too...Not too much older. And we've got stuff from other places in the house. We still get some tourists and stuff..."
"It's a pretty countryside; I bet lots of people tour."
She shrugs.
"Well, let's head out; that's all there is to see."
...
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She fiddles with the door some more.
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"We're locked in? Like, actually locked?"
"Uh-huh!"
She looks really panicked.
"It's alright. We'll find a way out, or someone'll realize we're in here..."
She calmed down.
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"I can't stand cramped spaces...My dad used to close me in places when he wanted to punish me..."
"I'm sorry, Karen...Don't worry. We're not trapped."
Is that...What happened in my...No, not my dream. My memory.
Which means...There's a way out.
"Karen. Let's just look around and..."
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"I think there's a way out here."
She comes over to the back corner with me and looks at the hole in the wall.
"My god! This thing!"
The worry lifts from her face.
"Thank goodness you found it..."
We kind of have some trouble wiggling out -- this was fine when we were kids, but it's a tight fit now...But we eventually get out.
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Night's already fallen.
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"Had forgetten about it...I only used it a few times after..."
She turns and evaluates me, a dawning realization on her face.
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"A long time ago?"
"Yeah. I heard you crying, back then...And I wanted to protect you. Silly kid white-knighting, I guess..."
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When she hears that, she looks surprised and turns away.
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"And you saw me so nervous earlier, too...And you were always nice, even when I was being a jerk to you..."
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"I had kind of forgotten it to, but I remembered that that happened the other night... But everyone needs someone to be nice to them. I guess you reminded me of me."
She looks...Startled. I can't tell if I just flattered her or insulted her. In the moonlight, the gold of the front of her hair pops out, and seems like the halo of a saint.
She flubs about for a word and just settles on...
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"And...Thank you again."
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And then she's gone.
...She's kind of cute when she does that.
When I head home, there's money on the shipping bin, to greet my silent home.
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I'm building up quite a lot of money. I could do a lot with this...
A lot of things are on my mind tonight as I drift to sleep.