Masa's Massively Masterful Message Medium - Random Banter #146

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Originally Posted by Thufir

That would damage the books. :smallmad: Bad Teddy.

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Oh no, God Sensei forbid. The youngs students will have to go through years of training to make sure that they don't damage the books. Only the oldest, wisest and best practitioners will be allowed to use the oldest and most fragile books, which will remain unharmed even after the most heated battles. Before they reach any respectable age and abilty, they'll have to do with poor-quality teenager literature scribble.

*brings book overhead and attacks with decending Twilight strike*

*spins with a flourish, stepping back into Left Behind stance*

*brings book sweeping across at head level, initiating a Harry Potter block*

This Tome Skim Do...I likes it!

EDIT:

After much meditation and practice, I have devised the ultimate anti-gamer attack. BEHOLD!

*rapidly attacks with Jack Chick Dungeons of Darkness Tract Assault*

It is very effective.

aaaaw...

There's a kitten sitting on the other end of the couch. Sitting on mah feets.

And I lieks it.


Though it may just be the fact that I'm tired and cold and hungry and this kitten makes all of these problems very much less so.

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Originally Posted by Cobalt

Though it may just be the fact that I'm tired and cold and hungry and this kitten makes all of these problems very much less so.

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The kitten makes you less hungry? You planning to eat it?:smallwink::smallbiggrin:

Apparently not.

It jumped off…

Sad face. (:smallfrown:)

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Originally Posted by Teddy

You see flaws - I see opportunities. For example: If your house is being attacked by... giant... cockroaches, then you'll know exactly what book will do the greatest damage to their stupidly resilient bodies when you drop it on them, and won't have to spend 10 valuable seconds finding something heavy enough to use as an improvised weapon.

...
You can't call yourself a true book-nerd unless you've got Weapon Focus (books).
...
Man, I now wish to invent a martial art based around using books as weapons, and reading them aloud while fighting your opponent. My academy would be a huge library, where the young students would study the wisdom of the preceeding generations.

Please, you must help me come up with a name for it.

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That is quite awesome. We would have to make sure there weren't any stains left on the books though.

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Originally Posted by Pyrian

Tome Skim Do - Way of the Speeding Book :smallbiggrin:

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I endorse this name. It gives me giggles.

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Originally Posted by Thufir

That would damage the books. :smallmad: Bad Teddy.

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Originally Posted by Teddy

Oh no, God Sensei forbid. The youngs students will have to go through years of training to make sure that they don't damage the books. Only the oldest, wisest and best practitioners will be allowed to use the oldest and most fragile books, which will remain unharmed even after the most heated battles. Before they reach any respectable age and abilty, they'll have to do with poor-qualty teenager literature scribble.

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He has a point, especially as I've iust adopted Tome Skim Do as the preferred fighting style of Koorly, GOddess of the Written Word.
Trainees start of with book imitations made of word or some other material, graduating to actual books after four to seven years of training.

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Originally Posted by Keld Denar

*brings book overhead and attacks with decending Twilight strike*

*spins with a flourish, stepping back into Left Behind stance*

*brings book sweeping across at head level, initiating a Harry Potter block*

This Tome Skim Do...I likes it!

EDIT:

After much meditation and practice, I have devised the ultimate anti-gamer attack. BEHOLD!

*rapidly attacks with Jack Chick Dungeons of Darkness Tract Assault*

It is very effective.

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*applause*

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Originally Posted by Keld Denar

*brings book overhead and attacks with decending Twilight strike*

*spins with a flourish, stepping back into Left Behind stance*

*brings book sweeping across at head level, initiating a Harry Potter block*

This Tome Skim Do...I likes it!

EDIT:

After much meditation and practice, I have devised the ultimate anti-gamer attack. BEHOLD!

*rapidly attacks with Jack Chick Dungeons of Darkness Tract Assault*

It is very effective.

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Once you advance in the art of Tome Skim Do (which is an awesome name, BTW :smallbiggrin:), you'll learn some of the more powerful techniques, using political writings and science books for strikes such as the powerful "Impact of De Motu Corporum In Gyrum" and the dreaded "Splitting of Das Kapital".

There are also the darker paths of Tome Skim Do, forbidden to study and known by few, its practitioners are evil megalomaniacs who study the world-shattering technique known as "Das Kampf of the Übermench".

What about more scientific persuits? I have a few engineering textbooks that, when truely unlocked for their inner and outer potential, could unleash hell.

I mean, think about it. If the book is called "Mechanics of Deformable Solids", and you struck someone with it, and it deformed their solids...wouldn't that be epic?

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Originally Posted by Keld Denar

What about more scientific persuits? I have a few engineering textbooks that, when truely unlocked for their inner and outer potential, could unleash hell.

I mean, think about it. If the book is called "Mechanics of Deformable Solids", and you struck someone with it, and it deformed their solids...wouldn't that be epic?

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Of course it would! They call it the "Mechanics of Deformable Solids' Collision".

Also, in case you didn't know (which is quite probable - I had to use Wikipedia to find it), De Motu Corporum In Gyrum was a manuscript by Isaac Newton where he first explained what would later become known as Newton's law of universal gravitation.

I was watching So You Think You Can Dance Canada just now, and discovered that the hostess? The one I always thought was just the pretty slightly funny face? She's actually a dancer too. And not a bad one either. Huh.

Okay, weirdest thing ever happen this afternoon.

Alright, so I'm out of town, right? And I was eating in the middle of a random restaurant in chinatown, and when I'm leaving, someone calls my name. This girl who was in the restaurant apparently met me at a party a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We'd only met once and I didn't remember her whatsoever. And apparently we're both in town from NYC to do the same thing tomorrow morning at ten AM.

It's freakish. I think she must be a Terminator. An attractive Terminator.

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Originally Posted by Phase

Okay, weirdest thing ever happen this afternoon.

Alright, so I'm out of town, right? And I was eating in the middle of a random restaurant in chinatown, and when I'm leaving, someone calls my name. This girl who was in the restaurant apparently met me at a party a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We'd only met once and I didn't remember her whatsoever. And apparently we're both in town from NYC to do the same thing tomorrow morning at ten AM.

It's freakish. I think she must be a Terminator. An attractive Terminator.

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O.o. That's hard to beat.

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Originally Posted by Phase

Okay, weirdest thing ever happen this afternoon.

Alright, so I'm out of town, right? And I was eating in the middle of a random restaurant in chinatown, and when I'm leaving, someone calls my name. This girl who was in the restaurant apparently met me at a party a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We'd only met once and I didn't remember her whatsoever. And apparently we're both in town from NYC to do the same thing tomorrow morning at ten AM.

It's freakish. I think she must be a Terminator. An attractive Terminator.

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Son, when this happens, the universe is telling you something, and that something is: get your mack on. Enjoy your random coincidence meeting, perhaps gain a new friend. Would be pretty tech. :smallamused:

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Originally Posted by Phase

Okay, weirdest thing ever happen this afternoon.

Alright, so I'm out of town, right? And I was eating in the middle of a random restaurant in chinatown, and when I'm leaving, someone calls my name. This girl who was in the restaurant apparently met me at a party a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We'd only met once and I didn't remember her whatsoever. And apparently we're both in town from NYC to do the same thing tomorrow morning at ten AM.

It's freakish. I think she must be a Terminator. An attractive Terminator.

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Now tell her you kill animals for a living.

Go on.

Yes I really hate your job.

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Originally Posted by Teddy

Oh no, God Sensei Curly forbid.

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Fixed that for you.
In a couple of hours or so, I will be departing for a multiple days long party/gathering. Woo.

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Originally Posted by Keld Denar

*brings book overhead and attacks with decending Twilight strike*

*spins with a flourish, stepping back into Left Behind stance*

*brings book sweeping across at head level, initiating a Harry Potter block*

This Tome Skim Do...I likes it!

EDIT:

After much meditation and practice, I have devised the ultimate anti-gamer attack. BEHOLD!

*rapidly attacks with Jack Chick Dungeons of Darkness Tract Assault*

It is very effective.

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I will counter your Tome Skim Do with my Nyu-su-te. The combat art that uses rolled up news papers as implements of inducing pain to others.
The advantage of this combat style is that there are potential weapons available almost everywhere, sometimes even free.

My Nyu-su-te practitioners will best your Tome Skim Do practitioners, you mark my words!

My Leather Pants beats you all.

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Originally Posted by Phase

Okay, weirdest thing ever happen this afternoon.

Alright, so I'm out of town, right? And I was eating in the middle of a random restaurant in chinatown, and when I'm leaving, someone calls my name. This girl who was in the restaurant apparently met me at a party a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We'd only met once and I didn't remember her whatsoever. And apparently we're both in town from NYC to do the same thing tomorrow morning at ten AM.

It's freakish. I think she must be a Terminator. An attractive Terminator.

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Carefull, she may wish to distroy you so that in the future, humanity cannot build a base on the moon.

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Originally Posted by SpiderMew

Carefull, she may wish to distroy you so that in the future, humanity cannot build a base on the moon.

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We already have. It's all a conspiracy man. Elvis is their partying with MJ and JFK as we speak. :smallannoyed:

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Originally Posted by KuReshtin

My Nyu-su-te practitioners will best your Tome Skim Do practitioners, you mark my words!

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I don't see how this is possible, given that newspapers are an endangered species, in direct competition with the free internetz. I've NEVER bought a newspaper, and seldom even read the paper version when they were giving them away for free on campus(and then only because I was waiting for class and was between books).

Printed media as a whole is on the decline, and newspapers will be the first major casualty.

So... Who's up for Kindle-Fu, then? :smalltongue: Or perhaps Laptopoeira?

Creepy things I have discovered at University of Pennsylvania:

-Terminators (see above)
-A book bound in human skin (assume it's the Necronomicon)
-A forest that smells EXACTLY LIKE JELLY DONUTS

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Originally Posted by Phase

Okay, weirdest thing ever happen this afternoon.

Alright, so I'm out of town, right? And I was eating in the middle of a random restaurant in chinatown, and when I'm leaving, someone calls my name. This girl who was in the restaurant apparently met me at a party a couple years ago through a mutual friend. We'd only met once and I didn't remember her whatsoever. And apparently we're both in town from NYC to do the same thing tomorrow morning at ten AM.

It's freakish. I think she must be a Terminator. An attractive Terminator.

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Are you saying the Ah-nold is not attractive? Fie on you sir! FIE!

I think I've had slightly freakier. Basically a friend of mine was going on an surveying trip to Svalbard earlier this year, not only is he going on it but strangely another entirely unconnected friend is as well. It also turns out they are in the same group of 6. Uncanny! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. He was trying to phone one of the coordinators for the trip about a week before he was to leave, but he did not reach the coordinator. He reached my mobile. My mobile which had got a new number the day before. A number I had not given out to anyone yet.

PRETTY WEIRD YOU GUYS.

HMS Victory smells of toast on days with fine weather, and marmite on rainy days. Yes, I have been there too often.

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Originally Posted by Phase

Creepy things I have discovered at University of Pennsylvania:

-A forest that smells EXACTLY LIKE JELLY DONUTS

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This is not creepy, this sounds cool and oddly delicious.

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Originally Posted by Dallas-Dakota

This is not creepy, this sounds cool and oddly delicious.

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If by odd, you mean awesome

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Originally Posted by Dr. Bath

Are you saying the Ah-nold is not attractive? Fie on you sir! FIE!

I think I've had slightly freakier. Basically a friend of mine was going on an surveying trip to Svalbard earlier this year, not only is he going on it but strangely another entirely unconnected friend is as well. It also turns out they are in the same group of 6. Uncanny! BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. He was trying to phone one of the coordinators for the trip about a week before he was to leave, but he did not reach the coordinator. He reached my mobile. My mobile which had got a new number the day before. A number I had not given out to anyone yet.

PRETTY WEIRD YOU GUYS.

HMS Victory smells of toast on days with fine weather, and marmite on rainy days. Yes, I have been there too often.

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Whaaaat? The chances of these things happening are... No. This ceases to be chance. No.

No.

You broke my brain.

Man, as much as I was starting to like the fuzz and as much as I hate doing it, nothing beats a good clean shave.

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Originally Posted by Jibar

Man, as much as I was starting to like the fuzz and as much as I hate doing it, nothing beats a good clean shave.

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Pics, or it never existed.

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Originally Posted by Rawhide

Pics, or it never existed.

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What... the fuzz or the shave?
'cos it's hard to take photos of the past when I left my Time Travel Camera in the Renaissance.
I sure hope Leonardo Da Vinci isn't abusing the powers of his new toy.

Meh, I hate shaving. No matter what type of blade I use I'm always left with tiny traces of stubble here and there that no amount of bladework can get rid of. Electric shavers are even worse - barely do anything =/

The most annoying bit is that my hair is receeding on top and seems to be making a bee-line for my chin. >:(