Originally Posted by
JabberwockySupafly
Hey Playground
Some of you have probably seen me pop up on occasion to interject into a random thread and then disappear back into lurk mode for long periods of time. Well, I've decided to rear my ugly head and actually ask for advice on some things, because honestly I'm quite lost and don't know anyone else with experience in this particular situation.
I've been married now for close to 8 & half years and it looks like that marriage is now at an end. My wife and I have agreed that our current relationship isn't working as we both want very different things from life, and have decided to legally separate. We're being civil and doing this on friendly terms (at least for now, who knows how things will pan out?), but we're still both kind of in shock about the whole thing.
I've spent the last 12 years living with my wife, developing a life and culture that always included her. Now that this has happened, I'm very much at a loss of what to do. I'm looking for a new place to live, figuring out if I need a vehicle for transport purposes (where I live has an abundance of public transport and cars aren't as required as they are in most places), trying to figure out who gets what in terms of material items, and a lot more.
As much as it hurts and I feel horrible about it (I imagine she does too), I know it's the right thing, since we haven't been seeing eye to eye on anything for a long time. That doesn't help that it's put me in a mental tail spin and I really have no clue how to proceed.
Anyways, I'm done rambling on and I'll get to the meat of this thread: How, exactly, do I proceed from here? A friend of mine who has had a long term relationship come to an end before says the thing that takes precedence is to find a new place to call home, as it'll make the transition a great deal easier if you're not constantly awkwardly bumping into each other in the same house. I've also heard that we should both have our own solicitors. Even if we're remaining civil about the whole thing, we both need a neutral party involved.
But after that... what? I know it sounds weird to come to what is essentially a group of strangers, but sometimes an outsider's point of view can help see things those invested can't.