Silly Plots 3: With government backing we can make it very silly

[The Road]

"Yes yes yes! I wanna pet all the ponies, daddy!" Laela is set to bouncing in her seat all over again.

Sakura giggles on the other end of the line. "You two have fun. See you when you get home. Kisses!" Sakura makes a smooching sound and Laela responds in kind before saying bye.

[The Road --> Ponies!]

The girls get another laugh out of Adir as he listens to them smooch the air in tandem, but he does still manage to say, "Whenever that is. Bye!"

The stag will drive Laela to a farmer's market he knows. It's quite a bit more grand than the name 'farmer's market' would suggest - just about everything is for sale, and there are booths and cheap little stalls on all sides of them. Auctions are proceeding loudly, stores dwell in both temporary structures and fixed, rented buildings for folk to get out of the weather if need be. There's ice cream - real home made stuff, stuffed into hand crafted waffle cones.

And when Adir guides Laela around the next corner, holding her free hand, she'll spy a low fence keeping in a few itty-bitty riding ponies. They seem oddly interested in trotting up to her, a couple sticking their heads over the top of the fence. The stag glances down at his daughter. He has a thing or two he'd like to talk with her about, but that can wait a moment. "Do you want me to pick you up so you can pet them?" He asks. She'll have to be careful with that ice cream...

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

Veronica looks about the room, not touching anything just yet before coming to a conclusion. "Jace, honey, this anklet thing shows me what all is alive and around, but given the theme of this house and that coffin over there, I kinda doubt there'll be something alive moving about if there is something here." She admits before quirking a teasing eyebrow at him. "But can I ask that you refrain from shooting at something living its unlife if it isn't hostile?" She asks before stepping over to the coffee and knocking on it. "Hello? Anyone home? You've got some guests." She asks, taking a quick step back.

[Ruins of Juniperwood Town]

"I'm jumpy, not...whatever the word for prejudiced that is." Jace says, and he goes to make sure all his things are in order. If a family of vampires was obviously living in this town with everyone else they couldn't have been visibly doing evil. Unless the town was also evil. That is also possible.

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

Nothing replies from within the coffin. Even if there was, the lock's on the outside so unless whatever is inside can phase through matter, it's trapped in there. It seems that the coffin was simply a rather creepy item of furniture, rather than the final-ish resting place of the undead.

[Ponies!]

Laela pulls away from her daddy's hand as soon as she sees the ponies. She runs over and strains against the fence. She precariously manages to keep her ice cream upright. "Yes yes! Please!"

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lord Magtok

ACRONYM

Oh don't worry, there is. The base is dramatically different from what Brokenfang may recall, however. Before Malice took over, Magtok built this place with a deliberately worn-down, dilapidated aesthetic in mind. An unsubtle nod towards the city of Rapture, back when that sort of reference wasn't half as dated as it is now. Lived-in, used, and crumbling, with a sort of art deco look going on. Malice maintained that look, mostly because that's how the place looked back in his heyday, and he was inordinately proud of the way things used to be. Obviously there were some repair jobs that needed to be made, the greenhouse needed to be trimmed and weeded, and a few barrels of radioactive waste needed to be dumped out an airlock and into the sea, but the Octopus Garden ACRONYM quickly became something he could be proud of, something he could show off to other villains.

That's not what it is today, however. An elegant red carpet stretches out from the entrance, over a gilded brick floor that definitely was not there last time. Two dozen or so similarly gilded spider-drones are spread out across the entrance hall, each roughly the size of a large dog and draped in similar fabrics, like tiny spider-dog tabards. They stare our duo down, but do not move from their places along the walls, ceilings, and floor. Where there were signs directing one to the ACRONYM meeting hall along the walls, there are now massive red tapestries, proudly honoring a man of brass with cape and scepter, poised with his foot in the air, ready to stomp down on a tiny man, woman, and child and crush them beneath his heel. Everything about this place speaks of medieval opulence and techno-feudalism; what happened to the art deco and the Randian Objectivitism? Why giant spider bots and not robot men? What happened here, what happened to Malice?

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by UncleWolf

ACRONYM

Erelae will find Brokenfang pausing as soon as she steps into the facility, clearly unsettled by what she finds. "...Erelae, I don't know who has taken up shop here, but this certainly is new. And too ostentatious. Malice was always a prideful and self-centered guy, but this is on a whole new level." She warns before grinning. "I think I like whomever it is already. What do you say? Shall we meet and deal with whomever it is? Maybe we can start up an entirely new villainous org."

Excited, she steps forward towards the bots. "Oi! We're here to meet with your leader." she shouts.

---

[ACRONYM]

"Well, this is exciting." Erelae agrees. She had expected some dark abandoned place under the waves, but this was something else. Reminded her a little of some Matrons actually. She had better be on her best behaviour.

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

When there's no answer, the Harpy frowns and sets her hands on her hips, obviously disappointed that her logic hadn't seemed to work out. "Fine. Be that way." She grumbles before reaching down to test the lock. If it doesn't come right off, she'll call her drone close and use its laser to blast off the lock before throwing the coffin lid open.

Juniperwood Town Ruins

The lock is blasted off, as it was locked and Veronica hadn't found the key. Nor had Zebes, with his magic-sniffing snout.

Inside, there's a leather whip enchanted so the lashes it leaves heal after five minutes, a selection of other sex toys (mainly of leather or black latex; well-cared for and in good condition), some handcuffs, and some black rope. There's also four books; a guide on tying knots, a book about cleaning and maintaining items of the sort also in the coffin, an erotic novel about a young girl in the harem of some perverted emperor and a book on treating minor injuries. Nothing undead, or alive. The handcuffs glow green; the lock counts as mechanical enough for her magic anklet.

Juniperwood Town Ruins

Jace and Zebes look at each other. They make The Face. The face Veronica should know is the expression the two make when they’re exchanging quips no one else can hear.

It takes them a good thirty seconds to break and finally begin laughing, hard and loud, with Jace gripping the bed for support.

ACRONYM

"Wanderers, you trespass upon the domain of The Holiest Sovereign Everlasting, The First, Last, And Only," the spider-bots imperiously declare, speaking in unison. "This sin may yet be forgiven, however. The Holiest Sovereign Everlasting is a merciful and loving god, and He asks only for a show of contrition, a display of penance and humility. You will speak to the Holiest Sovereign at once, wanderers, and He will show you the path to righteousness."

The gilded spiderbots approach, moving in unison, until every one of them is flanking the duo. A dozen or so in a line on their left side, a dozen or so on the right. They begin slowly marching forward, as if to wall off any other route Brokenfang and Erelae might take, to push them towards their audience with the god-king.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gulaghar

[Ponies!]

Laela pulls away from her daddy's hand as soon as she sees the ponies. She runs over and strains against the fence. She precariously manages to keep her ice cream upright. "Yes yes! Please!"

---

[Ponies.]

Adir chomps on the last of his cone and squats down without a word. He hoists his daughter up with his hands underneath her arms, putting her fabulously close to those snuffling equine faces.

"Now, be gentle..." says Adir. "Have you ever gotten to pet some ponies before, Laela?" He certainly hasn't taken her to see any.

[Ponies!!!]

"Nuh uh!" Laela reaches out and pats the top of the pony's head. Her face is split ear to ear by her grin. "Hi pony. Do you have a name?" She asks, giggling in her barely contained glee.

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

"Laugh it up while you two can. I don't think you will enjoy me using pre-used gear on you, Sweetums." Veronica points out as she puts the books into her bag and considers the rest. If the whip had been made for "hands" like hers, she'd grab it, but as it was...she hesitates. She seems to toss the idea back and forth in her head before finally grabbing it and tying it as best as she can to her waist to keep it out of the way of her tail feathers. "Grab the rope, would you? I'll check out the next bedroom." She says, frowning a bit and sauntering off into the next bedroom. She hadn't laughed at Jace's screw-up after all and now the two were laughing at her assumption that a coffin was containing something or someone dead? Hmph!

ACRONYM

Brokenfang grins and opens her arms. "I may not bow to anyone, but I am more than willing to see your master make his case for it!" She says cheerfully. She was quite excited! Perhaps even a bit too much so as she can't keep a little hop out of her step as she follows along. Despite her excitement, Erelae might see that she's more than keeping her eyes and ears out for anything that might be hostile to them. Even so, the Alpha was clearly enjoying herself and after a moment even tries to wrap an arm around the Drowess' shoulder. "So! Thoughts? Excited? Worried? Hoping to seal a dark pact and make our enemies rue the day?" She asks.

Juniperwood Town Ruins

When she picks up the whip, the grip adjusts to fit her hand. Or whatever she's using that maps to a hand.

The next bedroom was a child's bedroom. Just as dark and gothic as the rest of the house, however; the headboard is sculpted like a gravestone, there's dark purple wallpaper and the light fitting is an old-fashioned chandelier. There's also a wardrobe, chest and display cabinet, with a selection of badges, ribbons and trophies on display, as well as a blank stone tablet made of some dark purple stone, a black gemstone and a foot-long bronze key. The sliding door on the display cabinet isn't complex enough to count for the green glow of mechanisms, but the locks and hinges of the wardrobe and chest are.

This room is not uninhabited, though. There's a bulge under the duvet on the bed, one not big enough to be a full-sized adult. A slightly odd-looking skull shrouded in black cloth sits on the pillow just above the bulge. There's no blue glow of life present, but... That doesn't say much.

Juniperwood Town Ruins

Jace stabilizes himself. "I'm sorry babe, but you know how many good puns you can make out of undead and lewd things? We can't help ourselves here."

Once they're in the room, Jace frowns. Waving a hand, he uses a spell to open the sliding door, to see if the little skull animates in some way.

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

Veronica pauses when she enters the room and her eyes practically sparkle as she takes it all in. "...by the stars this is adorable!" she squeals, even hopping up and down lightly in excitement. "I mean, I don't talk much about it, but my goth phase as a teen was close to this but this is so nice and refined compared to the grunge I was into. I'm almost afraid to ruin it. Hello? Anyone here?" She calls out as she approaches the lump on the bed to try and poke it gently with a wing.

As far as the whip goes, it'll have to adapt to a complete lack of thumb and only two slender fingers. All else aside, her lack of a proper wrist is most likely what is going to keep her from using it for more than decoration. But what a wonderful decoration it would be!

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

The lump under the bed doesn't move, but a blue light ignites within the malformed skull and it hovers up. "DuuuuUUUUskuull." The lump feels hard, and bony; another dead person, this one a twelve-ish Trainer who specialised in ghost-types, like the Duskull that hasn't left their side since their parents gave it to them. It glares at them, though mostly Veronica, for potentially disturbing its friend's rest.

It's not fussed about Jace and Zebes right now, just Veronica. The blank stone tablet, gemstone and key are all magic, two of them pokemon magic the third a different type.

[Ruins of Juniperwood Town]

Jace steps up, as he speaks fluent Pokemon.
[Hey, buddy. You been here a while? Your friend's looking a little sad.] he says respectfully, in a distinctly Victini accent.

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

"Ah...I see..." Veronica says, shoulders slumping a bit and a frown appearing as she realizes what the situation was. She had suspicions of course but hadn't thought there'd be another guardian critter. Particularly one that was still alive. She looks at the Duskull and inclines her head a bit as she rummages into her bag with a wing. "I...I know it's probably hollow and I'm not sure how much you can understand, but I'm sorry." She admits, stepping back away from the bed as she pulls out the pretty dusk stone she'd picked up earlier. "But maybe this'll help." She adds, setting it down gently on the display cabinet. "It's not much, but I'm not going to take anything either."

Ruins of Juniperwood Town

[Ghost types attract the morbid and the frail. She was both, and prepared herself for death and what comes after. She did not see the death she met. I know she will return. She promised she would. I cannot leave her. I have waited longer than I expected. I have been remembering. The battles, the badges, the friends, the foes. She will return. Then we can leave together, go on another adventure. Me and her, as it was and will be again. Tell your trainer to leave the badges and the ribbons, she has not earnt them. I- we- have. The rest should be used. For her, they are mementos. I don't need them. Perhaps she'll see them, or hear your thoughts, and remember herself. Perhaps she won't. Perhaps now I am alert she will find my soul.] It's pretty clear the Duskull hasn't spoken much in a long time; its voice is dry and halting. It... Might not make much sense, but the Duskull has hope, but not belief. It does not think its trainer might return; it knows that she will come back, and it's simply a matter of time. It hopes it's less time rather than more, but knows it will be eventually.

[Ruins of Juniperwood Town]

[Hang in there, buddy. Sometimes people just get a little lost, trying to find their way back. Might have to do a little looking. And If she told you a spot she'd like to be, I'd be happy to get her there.] Some people have preferences for that sort of thing, if they see their end coming. [Good luck, my friend.]

Jace turns to Veronica. "He says the badges and the ribbons are hers, but he wants you to use the rest."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deathkeeper

[Desert Town]

Kray scarcely has time to blink. These folks sure love fast.
”Um, that sounds nice I suppose? Brown and red mostly run in my family. I wouldn’t mind having a darker tone again that this.” she muses, looking at her cream colored arms.

---

Hops nods, her nose quivering. The locker room is right this way - you'll want to make sure that all the fur is clean first. Once you're done if you could head over to stall 3 please? she waves in the direction of the back wall as she says that.

The stalls themselves are hidden by heavy curtains in various shades, obscuring the customers within.

[Desert Town]

Kray gets the message, although she's not entirely comfortable in locker rooms with mirrors. She isn't terribly modest though, so shoving her clothes away in a locker room isn't an issue for her. Once cleaned up (hopefully they have very good driers) she'll go to the designated stall without issue.

Desert Town


Hops comes in the stall after a minute, with an assortment of bottles and combs and bottles attached to combs. She starts expertly running the various combs over Kray, wrapping certain parts of her fur in foil as she goes. When she's done she tells the be-foiled Kray to just sit tight for 30min.

There is a full-length mirror in the stall, but it probably looks quite ridiculous right now.

[Desert Town]

Kray is a very patient minotaur. But she can't help but sigh at her appearance in the mirror. She can't even move without the foil wrapped on literally every part of her clashing together.
"What did you sign me up for?" she quietly moans to the absent god(?) as she sits, perfectly still, for half an hour.

[Desert Town]

The person who comes back is not Hops, but a teen girl with elven features and a short punk haircut revealing multiple ear piercings. She introduces herself as Leila, an apprentice hairdresser, as she deftly removes the foils and rinses the dye out of Kray's coat. She then hands Kray an oversized black and very fluffy towel before telling her that it's all set, if ma'am would like to get dressed?

[Desert Town]

Kray sighs with incredible relief as all that awful foil is removed, and she does certainly seem impressed with the results. It's not uncommon for her people to have patterns, but this is something she's definitely never seen someone have normally. She twirls to look herself over the mirror, a smile on her face. before covering herself with the towel. She's sure the assistant doesn't mind. Then it's outside to find Latrans, probably.

[Desert Town]

Latrans whisks her off to a few different stores, where salespeople of quite a variety of figures have her fussed over, outfitted, and jeweled. At the end of the night she finds herself in a somewhat daring cropped silver blouse and a deep turquoise flowing cotton skirt, adorned with a particularly intricate aquamarine and pearl necklace tracing plant motifs across her chest and towards her decolletage, a row of magnetic freshwater pearl studs running up the side of one ear, and a matching aquamarine bangle around one ankle. A carved leather belt lies across her bare midriff carrying a holster for her gun (freshly polished) and a pouch for various necessities. The remaining bags have been whisked off by a car to...somewhere.

In this state she finds herself seated next to him at the bar of a fairly upscale western diner, a piano playing off in one corner as the server asks her what she'd like to eat.

[Desert Town]

Kray seems a bit frazzled, but seems to be happy. She can't quite figure out when he managed to have them swap her bag for this dainty little thing, or swap her holster out for this embroidered one. Or polish her revolver, or really manage any of this. She's fairly sure she enjoyed it, but it was all a big blur. She orders some chicken from the server, as she doesn't know if they have venison or some of the other things she likes.
"Well, I don't know where you got all this money from, but you sure know how to treat someone you barely met. I'd say the only thing missing is a nice hat, but with my horns out of their proper shape that's not doable. You can't win 'em all." she says, but she's clearly not that bothered, occasionally looking down to eye the skirt or the clinking bangle against her foot. She's not sure how she got her in those, either, but she supposes it's not a dress.