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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
**Even if the character is a cleric of the OD&D version of St. Cuthbert, who was a strong proponent of (to quote Gary Gygax) "pounding sense into someone's head by dint of blows from a club."
i knew i should've praised st. cuthbert instead of pelor... that was typical behavior for my cleric/rsop, along with verbal lambasting. can retroactively explain why he was considered heretical, though....
*if playing during a belle-epoque steampunk/alternative history, not allowed to use my knowledge of the franco-prussian war of 1870-1871 to boot the krauts out of metz.
**if my officer's name contains more letters than twice the alphabet, it's banned (even if that was typical naming convention)
***no naming my officer after erotic illustrators from the period.
****no naming my officer after firearms manufacturers to get a discount. (lieutenant paul-avril-henri-auguste-ernestin lefaucheux-delvigne is right out)
*****... EVEN IF IT'S UNDER THE CHARACTER COUNT SPECIFIED ABOVE!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
GrayGriffin
* Not allowed to bring the serial killer home.
** No matter how tragic his backstory is.
*** Not even if he probably fits in better in your world than his.
**** Also not allowed to "sibling adopt" the serial killer.
*****the same applies if the serial killer is a little girl.
******Especially if the serial killer is Jack the Ripper or Bonesaw.
******* I can not roleplay in the Fate/ or Worm setting anymore.
I know they're monsters, but they're just so cute and tragic. I just want to hug them and wrap them and blankets and spoon feed them warm soup.
*when roleplaying in JoJo, I can't be the one guy who insists on having Ripple instead of a Stand.
**My Stand can not give me Ripple.
***I can not name my Stand after one of the themes of the anime.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*My character cannot claim to be a "professional troubleshooter," as in "when there's trouble, I shoot it. *loads crossbow*"
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
*My character cannot claim to be a "professional troubleshooter," as in "when there's trouble, I shoot it. *loads crossbow*"
(that one is awesome!)
**neither can my character be an expeditor, as in he expedites problems. usually out of a window.
*problem-solving CAN be non-violent.
** accidental placing of anti-tank mines counts as violent, too.
*** there is no "stun" setting on anti-tank mines.
**** anti-tank mines on civilians? overkill.
***** just because it's expeditive, not allowed to replace the boss' doormat with a couple spare kilos of anti-tank mines and wait at the local bar until i hear a boom. that would collapse a city-block (again...)
*despite alcohol being a solution, it usually involves drinking it. not dousing a giant monster in it and throwing a lit cigar.
**completely unrelated to the above, i'm preemptively banned from taking proffession "brewer" or "distiller".
*** spiritseers are not drunk enough to see the plot.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
*My character cannot claim to be a "professional troubleshooter," as in "when there's trouble, I shoot it. *loads crossbow*"
Man, I've made that joke so many times. I even plan to use it as the campaign brief for my eventual Eclipse Phase game, just to get across that the players are going to be allowed to go a tad overboard in the collateral damage.
* I may not pet the TITAN kill droid.
** 'Finds murderbots cute' is no longer a valid quirk.
*** My last eight characters are the reason.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* The king of Fantasy Scandinavia is not a timelord.
** No you do not hear drums coming from the king 's tomb.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*** May not offer the king a jelly baby, even if I'm certain he's rather fond of them.
**** May not reference oldWho at all.
***** May certainly not get my Time Lords in a twist (confused, shipped, or anything other meaning I can bastardise into the word).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Guizonde
(that one is awesome!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
Man, I've made that joke so many times. I even plan to use it as the campaign brief for my eventual Eclipse Phase game, just to get across that the players are going to be allowed to go a tad overboard in the collateral damage.
I was trying to set it up as my character's sort of introduction-catchphrase, my equivalent to Madmartigan's "Greatest swordsman in the world," that The Spoony One stole homaged for his absurdly-lucky bard, Tandem the Spoony. It apparently wore pretty thin on the DM eventually, after I introduced myself that way to too many NPCs. Said DM may also be a little aggravated with my bard in general, because I've over-optimized him a bit.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* "Take over Norway" is not the solution for every apocalypse-survival plan.
** No, it still doesn't apply if Norway has previously fallen to hostile military coup.
*** Orchestrating the coup ourselves and then faking our deaths before setting up a free and fair democracy with our alternate identities in charge is just a hack.
**** I'm not allowed to brainstorm ways to take over countries anymore.
* If my PC is, functionally, a more introverted and socially-awkward version of myself, they're banned.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ElFi
**** I'm not allowed to brainstorm ways to take over countries anymore.
**** poland is the exception to this rule.
***** if by some miracle you do manage to take over poland, the dm must slow-clap you (and revise his power level)
****** no, the soundtrack to invade poland to is not made up exclusively of rammstein and wagner. there's some kmfdm in there as well...
(seriously, that country has been invaded at least 29 times in 1000 years by my count. taking it over is a real challenge even for epic-level characters. don't screw with the poles)
*no wreaking havoc on the magnetic field of the earth.
** especially to make a pun due to invading a certain country!!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*If I have Expertise in Persuasion and Deception, may not attempt to solve every problem with a +2 hand crossbow.
**If I have Expertise in Persuasion and Deception, I may not keep rolling high enough on them that I never use my +2 hand crossbow.
***May not complain about the inconsistency.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
*If I have Expertise in Persuasion and Deception, may not attempt to solve every problem with a +2 hand crossbow.
**If I have Expertise in Persuasion and Deception, I may not keep rolling high enough on them that I never use my +2 hand crossbow.
***May not complain about the inconsistency.
**** May not suggest you solve this problem by naming your +2 hand crossbow 'Persuasion and Deception'.
What? That name wasn't banned in the previous list(s).
* There is never a valid reason to carry more than a gram of grey goo, active or inactive.
** My contingency plans should leave the biosphere alone.
*** The fact that I can carry it in a backpack is no excuse.
* There is such a thing as overkill.
* May not be a better campaign villain than the actual one.
** I do lawful evil too well.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
* There is such a thing as overkill.
** we just have to find it next time.
*** regarding dakka... nope, nope nope. guizonde is not to be allowed in a 100 meter radius of any full-auto capable weapon. ever again.
(i swear, you do one chain of 17 critical hits in a row with a gatling gun and everyone calls you out for being thorough and emptying the team's ammo allocation in one attack...)
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
I may not say the point of having minions is to deal with problems we may have so the PC's don't have too...
... Apparently :/
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*May not combine an emotion control aura with a skill theft aura.
**Regardless of literary precedent, "Everyone likes her because she's better than them at everything" is not a reasonable character archetype.
***Especially if she's only better because her aura debuffs them!
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
** I cannot have more power than I can carry in a backpack.
*** Not allowed to put sunshine in a bag, whether by using compact fusion or by miniaturizing a literal star.
**** Carrying around Princess Celestia in a backpack is acceptable. If you manage to make her get in the bag and lift it, anyway.
* May not cause the setting to be overtaken by ponies, memes, drawn musical bands, or all of the above.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*If my henchman is named Ensign Redshirt, I should not go to absurd lengths to ensure he never takes so much as a single hit point of damage (while my actual character gets absolutely mauled).
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
*If my henchman is named Ensign Redshirt, I should not go to absurd lengths to ensure he never takes so much as a single hit point of damage (while my actual character gets absolutely mauled).
I just wish this PC was called 'Captain Commandgold', or something similar.
* The difference between an energy source and a grenade is not whether or not I'm holding it.
* The solution to 'nudity creeps other people out' is to put some clothes on, not manipulate my genetics so the naughty bits disappear.
** My next time traveller must leave either the lack of a nudity taboo or the supertech at home.
* I cannot flirt with the GM.
** Certainly not until I've successfully learnt to flirt.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tanarii
*** this goes double when we're in character and s/he's roleplaying an NPC of the opposite gender.
Of course it's in character, the only GM I've had that I'd be willing to flirt with is married so he's off the table. Not that he or his wife would have a problem with us doing it IC, no matter the gender of the PCs or NPCs (the group is at least 50% bi/pan, with at least one gender identity of '**** your categories').
* If at any point I can best be described as a lovecraftian entity I should stop.
** 'Become the universe's first sufficiently advance alien' is no longer a valid motivation.
* Must stop insisting that hive minds are people too.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*Salanta delicate disk should never be cast through shadow conjuration.
**Even if it is 100% legal in the rules.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* No longer allowed to sheninagan "Lesser Planar Ally" as a 3rd level spell castable at 8th level.
* Even if it's technically true (Pathfinder Psychic with the Rebirth Discipline) declaring "I was a necromancer in a past life! I can fix him!" is probably not the best way to handle the near death of the barbarian.
* Just because the spell "Explode Head" does not have the Evil tag does not mean it doesn't cause the entire battle to stop when you psychically detonate a guy's head and slice up his friends with the bone fragments.
* There is no such thing as "developing an allergy to detect evil" and I cannot ask that it not be cast on me without getting funny looks. Especially after blowing up someone's head. :smallbiggrin:
* If I defend my head exploding ways with "well, it was that or force him to fight his literal worst nightmare until it killed him.", I should probably expect detect Evil.
* Should not stick my tongue out because Phantasmal Killer still doesn't have the Evil tag.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*I may not start gloating while DMing an adventure involving fey riddles
*If any of my locations conform to the Tardis Rule, they are now henceforth banned.
*If moving inside of the location involves random locations, the location is banned
*Hags, are banned
**Doubly so if they resemble Switzerland and nag the party on their effectiveness.
***No, giving technically sound advice does not invalidate the point above if the advice is barely usable.
*No more Fey.
*And don't even think about Gnomes...
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*May not let the thread go so long without a post it ends up off the front page.
*My bard does not, in fact, have to dress like a pompous rich fop for his spells to work.
**It is not in the PHB.
***It is not in the errata either.
****Nor is in in Sage Advice.
*****Mike Mearls didn't tweet it.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* Not allowed to take a flaw to represent the delusion that my bard must dress as a pompous rich fop for his magic to work.
* Not allowed to play a human Alchemist raised by Gnomes. Especially if Pathfinder allows it.
* Not allowed to play a druid raised by ocelots. Despite precedent.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
*the beatstick can no longer tame wild animals by supplexing them and saying "stop! bad critter!".
** despite the dice saying so.
*** if he tamed the velociraptor pack's alpha, we can't name it "beta".
**** we can't get more attached to "beta" than to most npc's.
***** this goes for all animal companions we pick up along the way. (including underpaid security guards, rogue electricians, random children, foxes...)
*just because i said i'd name my character in an npc's honor after a heroic sacrifice, i can't do it again.
** "frankalice" is already a long name. no need to add to its length by adding names and titles.
*** what's with you and doctors with oddball names and too many titles? we'll only end up calling them "doc".
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
* My female druid may not be raised by Hyenas
** Or by giant Whiptail Lizards
*** my aquatic female druid cannot be raised by anglerfish.
**** Or seahorses.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
*My bard does not, in fact, have to dress like a pompous rich fop for his spells to work.
**It is not in the PHB.
***It is not in the errata either.
****Nor is in in Sage Advice.
*****Mike Mearls didn't tweet it.
* It is certainly not a requirement for my cleric.
** Despite any 'real world precedence' I can come up with.
* Even if it's rules legal in 3.5, cannot play a cleric who devoutly worships agnosticism.
** Transhumanism is definitely banned.
*** As are determinism, deceit, communism, and the big bang.
* Even if all evidence points towards it being the winning team, cannot begin worshipping the Elder Gods.
** Especially cannot begin the game worshipping the Elder Gods. With the Cleric class and Accolyte background.
*** Warlocks are not wimps for only dealing with Great Old Ones. Which in my experience is just the most popular pact, while I like the Infernal Pact for it being classic everyone seems to go for Cthulhu.
* Cannot sterilise the bard.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
* It is certainly not a requirement for my cleric.
** Despite any 'real world precedence' I can come up with.
* Even if it's rules legal in 3.5, cannot play a cleric who devoutly worships agnosticism.
** Transhumanism is definitely banned.
*** As are determinism, deceit, communism, and the big bang.
I'd have thought Deceit would be allowed for a Trickery-domain cleric...
*Nietzschean clerics of the Will to Power and/or the Übermensch are right out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
* Cannot sterilise the bard.
**The reason the bard can't be sterilized may not be that worldwide population growth would decline too steeply as a result, leading to economic catastrophe.
***Nor may the reason be that doing so would constitute a form of genocide against the world's population of half-humans.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JAL_1138
**The reason the bard can't be sterilized may not be that worldwide population growth would decline too steeply as a result, leading to economic catastrophe.
***Nor may the reason be that doing so would constitute a form of genocide against the world's population of half-humans.
*** It is certainly not that sterilising bards would lead to the royal family becoming even more inbred.
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Re: Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XI: I May Not Postpone Naming My Thread
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Anonymouswizard
*** It is certainly not that sterilising bards would lead to the royal family becoming even more inbred.
**** Changing the bard's sex will either have a similar effect or make things A LOT WORSE.