Originally Posted by
meschlum
Blessing of the Intransigent Hippo
Once upon a time, a perfectly harmless and innocent Raksha was chased through Creation by a band of foul, malicious Dragon-bloods who accused it of horrible crimes and terrible misdeeds. Nowhere was it granted a moment's rest, never was it allowed a comfortable meal, nothing was it allowed to take for a moment's respite.
At last, overcome by despair, the Fair Folk sought refuge in a stream, and melted into the water. When the evil Dragon-bloods came upon the stream, they knew at once that their helpless prey was hiding nearby, and stepped into the current. They burned the rushes, that the Raksha might not hide among them. They lifted the stones, that the Raksha might not hide beneath them. They sifted the waters, that the Raksha might not hide within them.
But the Fair Folk eluded their notice still. So the cruel Dragon-bloods turned their attention to those living in the river. The first one they saw was the mighty River Dragon, snacking on fish, eels, and fishermen. "Move aside," demanded the vicious Dragon-bloods, "That we might poke and prod you to ensure you do not hide the innocent Raksha, for it is our enemy." The River Dragon gazed hungrily at the evil Dragon-bloods, hissed "Yessss," and submitted to their indignities, for it is a fearful beast.
Then the lustful Dragon-bloods saw the feeble fishermen, feeding the River Dragon, the leeches, and themselves. "Move aside," demanded the salacious Dragon-bloods, "That we might poke and prod you to ensure that you do not hide the innocent Raksha, for it is our enemy." The fishermen gazed fearfully at the evil Dragon-bloods, stuttered "Yes," and submitted to their indignities, they they are thoughtless beasts.
Then the awful Dragon-bloods saw the Intransigent Hippo, dining on weeds and rooting about for the burnt rushes. "Move aside," demanded the fearsome Dragon-bloods, "That we might poke and prod you to ensure you do not hide the innocent Raksha, for it is our enemy." The Intransigent Hippo gazed lazily at the evil Dragon-bloods, remained where it stood, and belched "No," for it is a noble beast.
The evil Dragon-bloods stared at the Intrasigent Hippo, shocked. Never before had anything dared stand up to them. Mumbling and bumbling, they gathered their scattered wits and declared "Then we shall move you, and it will be the worse for you."
Slogging through the mud where the waters had once flowed, they grabbed the Intransigent Hippo by each leg, and by the neck, and tried to lift it. But the Intransigent Hippo would not be moved, and savaged them repeatedly, tossing them into the muck and mangling their arms when they came close.
Battered and in despair, the evil Dragon-bloods fell back. "We will call upon the Bronze Advisor, and he will move you," said the last of the cowardly Dragon-bloods. Satisfied that he had found a somewhat less trampled patch of greens, the Instransigent Hippo ignored them and gulped energetically.
To find the perilous Bronze Advisor, the craven Dragon-bloods traveled many days and many nights, and pleaded long and deceptively, claiming the innocent Raksha had performed atrocities greater than any of its kind. Because he was akin to his servile students, the corrupt Bronze Advisor set forth to conquer the Intransigent Hippo, walking for five days and nights, such was his speed.
"Move aside, oh Intransigent Hippo," spoke the deadly Bronze Advisor, "Lest I bring to bear upon you the full might of the Stars, and my incomparable martial techniques. My fists have broken gods, my feet have climbed on webs of light, my body is one with all the elements." As he spoke, essence flared around him, filling him and overflowing to shake the earth.
The Intransigent Hippo blinked before the light show, spat a gobbet of half digested glop into the careless Bronze Advisor's face, and grunted "No," for it is a noble beast.
The deceitful Bronze Advisor punched and tugged, dragged and dodged, garbing himself in mud as the unsettled stones slipped under his feet. He glowed brighter and brighter, calling upon the Intransigent Hippo to obey his demands as an agent of all the gods and Fate itself. The Intransigent Hippo snuffled around his legs, idly scratching himself against the upset rocks.
"Very well, oh Intransigent Hippo," snarled the bumbling Bronze Advisor, "I shall call upon one who is greater than myself, who conquered Creation and defeated every foe but one. It shall cost me much, but you will fall before the Golden Dawn."
The Intransigent Hippo opened an eye, wondering why the tiresome Bronze Advisor was still there, and went back to sleep.
It took more than a thousand years of plotting and planning, but finally the vain Bronze Advisor woke the foolish Golden Dawn, taught him what little he needed to know, and sent him forth to deal with the Intransigent Hippo.
"Intransigent Hippo, you shall move, for I am the Golden Dawn and my word is Law. If you disagree, you will find that my fist and my strength are even more the Law than my word is." The Intransigent Hippo snorted awake and pondered the weird glowing thing, bedecked in orihalcum jewelry and tacky essence display. At the sight, something deep within the Intransigent Hippo moved.
Overjoyed at his imminent success, the dim witted Golden Dawn rushed forth to embrace his new servant - or so he assumed. When he was just behind the Intransigent Hippo, the movement ended, and a torrent of digested mold and leaves was let loose, burbling "No."
Reeling, the pungent Golden Dawn sought release, but the river was mostly mud and the grasses had died long ago from the twisted Bronze Advisor's ill wishes. When he finally recovered what few wits he had, the slimy Golden Dawn charged the Intransigent Hippo and yanked.
The Intransigent Hippo, feeling a pressure unlike anything he'd met before, did what hippos do best, and remained in place. Essence burst out and shredded what remained of the landscape, while the very fabric of Creation shook. And still, the Intransigent Hippo stayed put. Howling in outrage, the maddened Golden Dawn sought an ultimate solution, pushing himself beyond his limits and made one final attempt.
The Intransigent Hippo lifted his left rear leg.
Glorying in his success, the ravening Golden Dawn pressed on, flaring brighter than the Sun itself.
The Intransigent Hippo released the river water he'd held, and put his leg back down.
Stories say that afterward, the Golden Dawn went on to rescue a dozen princesses and create his own kingdom far away in the Wyld where there were no hippos, Intransigent or otherwise.
In memory of the Intransigent Hippo's kindness, the innocent Raksha created the Blessing, which confers all its strength and wisdom unto any hippo in need.
4-dot Oneiromancy
Assumption of the Living Kingdom - the Blessing will affect every hippo in the kingdom, hence the nervous Golden Dawn's strictures.
Subversion and Transformation Artifice - when anyone tries to clinch a hippo under the Blessing, it grows larger, gaining the Giant mutation. If this is not enough, the Hippo then gains Enlightened Essence and more copies of Giant, as well as secondary mutations to help in clinches.
World Angering Hippo Mastery - anyone trying to clinch a Blessed hippo gains fairly major penalties to the attempt.
King of Hippos Method - Blessed hippos gain bonus dice in clinches.
Sometimes, a particularly Blessed hippo may face opposition like that met by the Intransigent Hippo Himself. In this case, the innocent Raksha maintaining the Blessing may add to it, further enhancing the Enlightened Hippo.
1-dot Behemoth
Assumption of the Person's Heart - the enhanced Blessing becomes an intrinsic part of the fortunate Enlightened Hippo.
Armament of Flesh - the Enlightened Hippo's clinch abilities are enhanced.
Surpassing Excellence - and gain another 2 dice in clinches this way.
Elusive Object of Desire - but mostly with this, which can give the Enlightened Hippo up to 10 (5 without shenanigans) automatic successes to get out of clinches. Or more, if an Unshaped happens to be interested in the Enlightened Hippo.